How to tell them about Santa

Johnny Giles

How would you break it to the kids that Santa is not real? What are you experiences? Have you any advice on how to go about doing it?

Thanks.

scotchy

Why would you tell a child that Santa is not real?

Johnny Giles

Is there not a time?

Noffles

Thir class mates will let them know, there are hundreds of little ****s ready to spoil things like that...

littlebitdull

We have two in the know. One is now almost 19 and the other is 16.

With the eldest he asked me - it would have been the summer between 4th and 5th classes in school (could have been between 5th & 6th as its a good number of years ago.) I told him the truth. He was fasinated by it all and wanted to know how we managed to hide it for so long.

With the next one - we never actually told her - and she never actually asked. She did a big mock shock horror when we did mention it in front of her when she was about 14.

My youngest is 10 - will be 11 in May. She is in 4th class now. I fully intend telling her the truth next summer. I will simply tell her straight out. I will continue to keep some magic in christmas pressents the same way I have with the others, by not telling them everything they are going to get - making sure there are some suprises on christmas morning.

One thing I would not do is be telling any child this week!! Santa can be real this week. Its all about the timing realy.

But as with everything else you have to tell a child - the truth is always best - using language that they understand and can cope with.

scotchy

Thinking about this. I was talking to a guy last night whose son is starting to question Santa, I was surprised to hear he is 11.

I suppose if the child is being teased by friends it would be a good idea to sit them down and have a talk about it.

.

havana

Don't tell them. They'll find out in their own time. And then still pretend to you they believe cos they're afraid they'll get no presents....

ToniTuddle

It's true about school friends ruining it and telling you before your parents get a chance.
My mate went and blurted it out to me when she was annoyed by something. :mad:
Didn't believe her at first until I looked that the presents from Santa and realised...Santa had the exact same handwriting as my Mother :eek::eek::eek:

As punishment to her for lying to me all down the years. I pretended I still believed for the next year so I would get Santa presents that following Christmas.

Definitely don't tell them this week or even in December at all it will ruin their image of Xmas for many years to come! Tell them late on in Jan or Feb if you have too.

loyatemu

I'm amazed that anyone can keep it going until the child is 10 - our eldest is 6, and he's pretty sharp and questioning about how the world works. He's already started picking holes in the inconsistencies, I'd be amazed if he hasn't sussed it by the time he's 8 (we'll still deny it though...)

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Definitely don't tell them this week or even in December at all it will ruin their image of Xmas for many years to come! Tell them late on in Jan or Feb if you have too.

why would you want to tell them at all? If you tell them before they've figured it out themselves, they'll be crushed, & if they have figured it out for themselves there's some fun to be had in insisting its true and making up ever more elaborate stories to explain it. Only a real killjoy would straight-out tell a kid he doesn't exist...

ToniTuddle

loyatemu wrote: »

why would you want to tell them at all? If you tell them before they've figured it out themselves, they'll be crushed, & if they have figured it out for themselves there's some fun to be had in insisting its true and making up ever more elaborate stories to explain it. Only a real killjoy would straight-out tell a kid he doesn't exist...

It sounded like the OP is intending on having a talk with his/her kid for whatever reasons. I was merely suggesting they definitely don't do it in this month!

There's no fun to be had in insisting it's true and making up more elaborate stories!? The poor kid will get teased at school re-telling your elaborate stories.
I figured it out for myself as I said in the other post but it still hurt that it was all a lie and that my Mother had lied! Of course now I see the bigger picture but back then parents lying repeatedly to you for years aint cool.

If they do figure it out for themselves definitely do NOT continue to try and make them believe. That's cruel.*

*unless they are only 5 or something and overhear someone saying it isn't true!Then convince them it is as they have good few years to go!

spurious

I used to love being 'in on it' for my younger siblings.

Nevyn

Mine are still weighing up all the evidence.

free gaff?

im 16 and never had the convo with my parents. i knew when i was 7 but never stopped believing. even now. santa is real if u believe

ToniTuddle

spurious wrote: »

I used to love being 'in on it' for my younger siblings.

Yeah now that my brother has kids (under the age of 2) we have years and years of Santa to look forward to now. Really does make it alot more special Though I know one of them will be more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual presents :P

who the fug

havana wrote: »

Don't tell them. They'll find out in their own time. And then still pretend to you they believe cos they're afraid they'll get no presents....

This is what I did

iguana

loyatemu wrote: »

if they have figured it out for themselves there's some fun to be had in insisting its true and making up ever more elaborate stories to explain it.

Yup, when I first started asking questions about how one man went to so many houses in one night my parents explained all about time zones and how Santa actually had a lot longer than just one night to deliver all his presents. Then when I was a bit older again they explained about different religions who didn't celebrate christmas. They said they didn't explain this when I was younger as it was too confusing for young children but I was old enough to understand. So I didn't want to question that as I was left feeling smug that I was able to understand intricacies my younger brothers didn't.

I think belief in Santa goes through stages. When you are very young you believe without question. Once you are 6/7 you start realising it doesn't add up and ask questions, if your parents can provide an easy answer you just accept that and carry on believing. From about 9/10 (11 if your parents are really lucky) you don't really believe but a small part of you sort of still does. You tell your friends you don't believe to save face, you are extremely suspicious, but you want to believe and convince yourself in some small way just in case, especially if your parents are easily nonchalant about it.

After that you know for sure it isn't real but are safe in the knowledge that you will still get presents. If you have younger siblings you enjoy the grown up feeling of being in on the secret with your parents and sharing the magic from the other side. It is not a traumatic realisation but something you ease into bit by bit and once you are all the way there you feel like it's a milestone to adulthood rather than your belief in magic being crushed.

free gaff?

it was all about imagination to begin with anyway, since i found my presents on xmas eve i just go into the magic zone and still feel that xmas feeling. i still give a list to my parents

Johnny Giles

It would be cruel not to tell them when they're 18.

Johnny Giles

free gaff? wrote: »

im 16 and never had the convo with my parents. i knew when i was 7 but never stopped believing. even now. santa is real if u believe

But is that not like saying anything is real if you believe it - like that a cat can produce a human being if you believe in it.

Is this not a cop out?

chrisr001

You can say you believe something,
but that doesn't mean you "really" believe it.

Believe comes from "Be Life",
to create a reality through believing in it.

iguana

Johnny Giles wrote: »

But is that not like saying anything is real if you believe it - like that a cat can produce a human being if you believe in it.

Is this not a cop out?

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

chrisr001

Iguana has spoken,
a true master!
Long may he speak.

Johnny Giles

iguana wrote: »

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the ske...

I heard that cobbleweb before.

nesf

I don't know, I think I was born a sceptic.

Figured it out very young and challenged my parents about it (I was very happy with having figured it out!). It's a harmless white lie at a young age but there does reach a point where belief in Santa should stop imho, if only to save the child from vicious mocking at school (i.e. 12/13 year olds).


As for the fantasy and make-belief side of things, honestly there are more than enough wonderous things in reality to keep a child happy once they're old enough to appreciate them.

LegacyUser

(cant log in for some reason .. its littlebitdull here!)

We never tried to explain Santa or how he got around the world. We simply said we didn't know how he could do that. It must be just part of the magic we said. We could make some guesses, they could try and guess but at the end of the day - nobody but santa knew how he could do it.

I guess thats why ours did and do believe for longer - if you try and expalin it - well you cant can you. So then they may question you deeper.

Whereas if you simply say you dont know - they accept that and stop asking!

I never felt my parents were lying to me when I found out - and I was told I did not guess - my older two say they dont feel they were lied to either. So I have to admit to finding that strange ...

GerardKeating

Johnny Giles wrote: »

Is there not a time?

Wait till they figure it out themselves ???

chrisr001

Patron Saint of Children?
An Imaginary Being who answers their desires, not necessarily meant
to be personified.
The Spirit of Christmas.
The Genie of Christmas.
An expression of the creativity of innocent minds capable of
believing in the "impossible" that can draw to them their heart's desires.

When did material personification of this aspect enter the picture?

Johnny Giles

Probably best not teo tell them today and wait for a few days.

chrisr001

They shouldn't mind.
All that matters is that a replacement can be found in a year.
'Santa and his helpers' theory will be hard to crack, given that operations
can be directed from anywhere if enough helpers can be recruited.
A retired Santa could strategically pull that off with enough capital and volunteers.

smelltheglove

Lol, the pretending thing is great, my parents seperated and we stayed with my dad, I was 12, the first Christmas my brother and sister told me to pretend I still believed in Santa and ask for a tv, so under their influence I did, when I was writing my letter I was to ask for one for each of them too. My dad went out and bought the tvs but bought one for himself also and put his up before we got ours, I reckon he knew all along and was just punishing us by making us listen to him comfortably watching tv in his room in the run up to Christmas.

MelissaLahive

My illusions disappeared when I found a walkman at the back of the wardrobe and then received the same one from Santa. I didn't say anything though and managed to convince my parents I still believed in him until I was 12