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Shocking Story
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27-12-2009 1:24am#1I just read this on the USFI site, I'd be curious what people think:
Well this i suppose would be the first time i have attempted to put everything in writing, and allready i must say im getting a clearer head. As per the rules, no names or places. So lets call me John and the ex Mary (very imaginititive i must say). We split up 3 years ago this month and what was to ensue i would never be ready for. the darkest of thoughts have crossed my mind on more than one occasion, but i refused to stop fighting.
Mary has every few months told me i cannot see my 3 1/2 year old son, ( we will call him jack ). The reasons are varied, but each one as ridiculous as the next. She would invent reasons most of the time, sometimes she would just pull the "im his mother, i dont want you seeing him and there is nothing you can do about it" card.? Back in 2008 i couldnt take any more, the final straw being she accused me of cutting Jacks hair. Yes you read i correctly. I got abusive messages and phone calls for 2 days after i dropped him back one week. Mary: Did you cut his hair? John: No. Mary: Well its looks like its been cut and if you have cut it you have to tell me. John: Eh no, i didnt cut his hair, but im his dad, if i want to get his hair cut, ill get his hair cut. Mary: So you cut his hair? John: No. Mary: Yes you did...
Im sure you can gather the rest of the conversation. She stopped me from seeing Jack for 3 months. It only stopped after i served her with a summons. I could not afford a solicitor and still cant. Getting a summons organised is something i had no experiance in. But thanks to treoir and citizens information, ( I think i can mention them, if not admin please feel free to edit ) i was able to.
Even after only 3 months he had grown and changed so much. and the little she did let me see him in those weeks were constantly cut short, and she would not allow overnight stays. In the first court date she turned on the crocodile tears, the judge told her to cop herself on
. The lies she came out with were shocking. At one stage she accused myself and my current partner of child abuse. Just that. No evidence. nothing. She said she feared for her child and that Jack was suffering abuse at our hands. I nearly lost my mind at this point. The saving grace was that the judge told her to stop her lying, he saw straight through her. On the second court date i won my access and joint gardianship rights.
Since then a few uneventful months went by. The abuse continued by text messages but i didnt care. I got to see my son every week. Although she has never answered the phone to me on fathers day so i can speak to jack, and when my days with him fell on christmas she would not allow me to see him.
4 months ago she accused me of putting him in nappies and giveing him bottles at night. Jack is toilet trained. When he started his training i told her to make a scheduale and i would keep to it, which i did. So the old conversation popped back up again. Mary: Your putting him in nappies. John: No im not. Mary: Yes you are....
She told me i could no longer see him. So i showed up to her house with the gardai and my court order in hand. She would not answer the door. The same the folowing week. I wasnt going to wait 3 months again this time. I organised a summons yet again. 5 court dates later and i got to see Jack again. What did she get? I was expecting a fine or some sort of punishment for her for breeching the court order. No. Instead the judge increased her maintenence payments!!!
Still the abuse and innuendo and snide comments continued.
Yesterday as we were wrapping the presents Mary rings me. She said she has reported me to the HSE for child abuse and that i can no longer see Jack untill an investigation has been completed. Besides the fact its christmas week and we are due to give him his presents in a few days, she has accused me of abuseing my son!! A lengthy and very heated conversation ensues as you can imagine. This woman is an habitual liar. Now weather she has lied to the HSE or is lying to me is irrelevant.
Now i wont be able to see my son for at least the forseeable future. Im once again in a place of limbo. Dark thoughts race through my head. But i wont stop fighting. I will never stop fighting to see my son. To watch him grow, help him with his homework. Show him how to shave, drive a car.. the odds are stacked against me. But with the help of the wonderful woman at my side who i will never be able to thank fully, i know i will pull through.
Bloody hell. Why do parents act like this???0
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