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Weird things your teachers told you in school

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245

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    #32
    cloneslad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,583 ✭✭✭cloneslad


    PE Teacher during swimming lessons: "If I take my finger out you'll sink"


    Didn't realise he was lying till I went on hols with my g.f and she almost beat the shit out of me


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    #33
    cloneslad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,583 ✭✭✭cloneslad


    R0ot wrote: »
    I was told id never lose my virginity, now I've got a child on the way. :D

    I was going to make a smart arsed, disgusting comment but I figured I would behave myself!!


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    #34
    Gulliver
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭Gulliver


    Our geography teacher was always banging on that "we'll be able to buy cars from anywhere in Europe in the next two years".

    In 1996.


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    #35
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    BluesBerry wrote: »
    I before E except after C ....... LIES!!!!!


    DRILLED into my brain!


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    #36
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Our social studies teacher told us in fifth year (in a kind of sex education/responsibility lesson no doubt designed to try and stop students from 'deprived' areas ending up pregnant or impregnating somebody before they sat the Leaving ) that (she thought) oral sex was 'disgusting'.

    I assume that the 2-5% of the class not already doing it subsequently learned otherwise.


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    #37
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    A Geography teacher told me that America had 52 states...


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    #38
    dambarude
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,503 Mod ✭✭✭✭dambarude


    phasers wrote: »
    A Geography teacher told me that America had 52 states...

    Our Geography teacher tried to tell us that the Great Famine happened in the 1950s.


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    #39
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    dambarude wrote: »
    Our Geography teacher tried to tell us that the Great Famine happened in the 1950s.
    Judging by this thread Geography teachers are all retards :p


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    #40
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Had a science teacher who told me a mate of his went messing with the mains electricity of his house and (after he'd been missing for a number of days) all the investigating police found was a pair of shoes and a pile of ashes.

    Probably total bs. Even if you touched a pylon the worst that would happen to you (besides dying of course) would be severe burning of skin, melting of the retinas and removal of hair.


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    #41
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    How to speak irish


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    #42
    Elba101
    Registered Users Posts: 578 ✭✭✭Elba101


    My biology would say "get a mirror and have a look girls".


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    #43
    Sulmac
    Registered Users Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭Sulmac


    phasers wrote: »
    A Geography teacher told me that America had 52 states...

    Same thing happened me once, but I managed to prove that there are only 50. He wasn't too happy about me showing him up.

    Also had to disprove a history teacher who was insistent that Poland and West Germany bordered each other... :rolleyes:


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    #44
    Odysseus
    Registered Users Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    My religion teacher espained marturbation by telling us of a six year ago girl who sat with her doll between her legs and got sexual pleasure out of this. 30 years later as a psychoanalyst I can understand the theory behind this but as a 13 yr old, I could not make the connection between that and cracking one out.


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    #45
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    Odysseus wrote: »
    My religion teacher espained marturbation by telling us of a six year ago girl who sat with her doll between her legs and got sexual pleasure out of this. 30 years later as a psychoanalyst I can understand the theory behind this but as a 13 yr old, I could not make the connection between that and cracking one out.
    As an 18 year old, I can't make sense of it either.

    What kind of 6 year old gets sexual pleasure from anything?


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    #46
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    phasers wrote: »
    As an 18 year old, I can't make sense of it either.

    What kind of 6 year old gets sexual pleasure from anything?

    The type you wanna get to know when she hits 17. ;)










    Eugh, that's gross....


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    #47
    jd007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    number10a wrote: »
    - It was a sin to use a black toilet.

    How racist!


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    #48
    sheep-go-baa
    Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭sheep-go-baa


    We had a h-dip in first year come in and announce that today would not be a good day to piss her off as she just had a bikini wax :eek: and threatened to show us if we didn't shut up :pac:


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    #49
    Odysseus
    Registered Users Posts: 6,754 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    phasers wrote: »
    As an 18 year old, I can't make sense of it either.

    What kind of 6 year old gets sexual pleasure from anything?

    All of the I did say I was a psychoanalyst check out the theory of infantile sexually, better go for the original on read Freud's Three Papers on Sexuality 1905. Don goggle it buy the text it only cost a few euros


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    #50
    MickTipp
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 211 ✭✭MickTipp


    R0ot wrote: »
    I was told id never lose my virginity, now I've got a child on the way. :D

    whos the childs father??:D


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    #51
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    phasers wrote: »
    What kind of 6 year old gets sexual pleasure from anything?

    They don't know it's sexual as such I'd say.

    Most of my teacher didn't really say weird things, they just acted weird.


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    #52
    giggsy664
    Registered Users Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭giggsy664


    BluesBerry wrote: »
    I before E except after C ....... LIES!!!!!

    SCIENCE!


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    #53
    _Sword_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭_Sword_


    number10a wrote: »
    weird things your teachers told you in school

    There is a God.


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    #54
    Pushtrak
    Registered Users Posts: 4,640 ✭✭✭Pushtrak


    _Sword_ wrote: »
    There is a God.
    Well, that is one that exceeds the weird quota. You're in daft territory now.


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    #55
    Land Of Idiots
    Closed Accounts Posts: 319 ✭✭Land Of Idiots


    BluesBerry wrote: »
    I before E except after C ....... LIES!!!!!
    giggsy664 wrote: »
    SCIENCE!


    WEIRD!


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    #56
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Religious studies teacher (A Christian Brother) who told of us a boy from his class many years ago that had an unfortunate accident. Apparently he was proudly displaying his penis to his classmates in the shower room as he was more physically developed than them. There was a fire and the alarm went off, causing all the fire doors to abruptly close shut. Seems the boy was standing in the wrong place and a some dangly bits got crushed in the door. I'll leave it to your imagination.

    Pretty sure this brother was a paedophile as he was always telling us stories where there was a least one naked boy. And he would bring a few boys out of walks around Dublin on Sundays.


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    #57
    Amalgam
    Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭Amalgam


    Jesus is watching you. He's in the room with us now.


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    #58
    K-Ren
    Closed Accounts Posts: 357 ✭✭K-Ren


    I wrote a poem in second class about students killing their teacher, and the nun who was teaching us at the time told me that I was going to "rot in hell" for it!

    Only a poem Sr. De Montfort!


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    #59
    BOHtox
    Registered Users Posts: 4,314 ✭✭✭BOHtox


    One of my teachers was giving out about the budget and said
    "During the height of the boom companies in Ireland combined were making 35 billion if they( the government) even took 1% of this in tax you would have 3.5 billion and no cutbacks would be needed now."

    Which if your slow or don't get what i'm saying 1% of 35 billion is 350 million not 3.5 billion


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    #60
    El Siglo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    phasers wrote: »
    Judging by this thread Geography teachers are all retards :p

    Hey hey now, that's cutting a bit deep isn't it? Besides, the geography you learn in school is absolutely retarded and useless, the geography you learn in university on the other hand is... eh... em... All I know is: "History is about chaps and geography is about maps!"

    I was told I was "charming". I really should have got stuck into that maths teacher! She was a fucking cougar but super sexy!:D


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    #61
    Lone Stone
    Registered Users Posts: 3,405 ✭✭✭Lone Stone


    "Sit on my lap ....... did i mention its no pants day boy" :eek:


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