Weird things your teachers told you in school

El Siglo

BOHtox wrote: »

One of my teachers was giving out about the budget and said
"During the height of the boom companies in Ireland combined were making 35 billion if they( the government) even took 1% of this in tax you would have 3.5 billion and no cutbacks would be needed now."

Which if your slow or don't get what i'm saying 1% of 35 billion is 350 million not 3.5 billion

Was that a pass maths teacher that said that?;)

The Master

"You'll sink if I pull my fingers out" - swimming lessons 1989

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

R0ot wrote: »

I was told id never lose my virginity, now I've got a child on the way.

Tonight's your lucky night!

stripysocks85

That I was intelligent! Turns out it was true though! Although I've definitely lost some brain cells since!!!

stovelid

Now that I think of it, I had a teacher who always referred to England and English people as Sassanchs(sp?). I moved over here when I was 11 from England and he always called me a 'Sassanach pup'. Sometimes in anger, sometimes just in general terms.

stripysocks85

stovelid wrote: »

Now that I think of it, I had a teacher who always referred to England and English people as Sassanchs(sp?). I moved over here when I was 11 from England and he always called me a 'Sassanach pup'. Sometimes in anger, sometimes just in general terms.

Sasana = Irish word for 'England'
Sasanaigh = English [person] so maybe that's what he was referring to you as............

delricyo

My older brother was told (think in 89 or 90) that homosexuality was only invented (!!) in the 60's.

The same brother in 3rd class. His teacher wrote "Artic" on the board. Even though the pupils were only 9 they corrected her spelling. She defended her spelling by saying "Well, it sounds like that anyway"

Great teachers

stovelid

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Sasana = Irish word for 'England'
Sasanaigh = English [person] so maybe that's what he was referring to you as............

I know what it means but it probably has a worse intention when sandwiched in an otherwise English sentence and with 'pup' suffixed to it.

stripysocks85

stovelid wrote: »

I know what it means but it probably has a worse intention when sandwiched in an otherwise English sentence and with 'pup' suffixed to it.

Sorry, I see now that you actually did know what the term meant :P I think people in 'olden' days were known to be a bit brash, but any 'bold' child would be referred to as a pup, my granny called me a cheeky pup once!

Greenmachine

We were told Uisce Beatha meant Devil's water
Apparently it means water of life
Only one reason I Can think of why she would lie
If you can't work out why my lips are sealed.

callaway92

"The Leaving Cert is the Be All and End All"

lol

Isolt

In sixth year, before the leaving cert our Irish teacher explained that we must learn to recite Níl aon Ní because ..''Irish is the most spoken language in the world, Children.''

Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy

So many things to choose. These are my favourites:
"listen it's okay if you don't get your place in college, over the summer someone could get leukaemia and die or get into a car crash, then you can get their place"

"I remember you said you were worried about your weight, but just look at the 6th years, Karen is very fat, much fatter then you and so is a few other girls, so don't feel left out"- Guidance Teacher

mud

When I was learning how to sew, the teacher (nun) told me that if i didn't pick up all the needles and pins when I was finished, one of them might go into my foot TRAVEL UP THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM STICK IN MY HEART AND i WOULD DIE

All well and good, fast forward 15 years, I'm in the OH's gaff on my own, I walk across the hall and suddenly I'm on the floor, mad pain in my heel, can't see any glass or even a cut.

Suddenly I'm sure that this is it!
This is when the errant needle sticks in my foot, travels up through my bloodstream and I die :eek:

Cue completely over the top panic and the writing of a 'goodbye letter'

cringe

turned out a wasp had stung me, I doubt I'll ever live it down.


Damn you Sr Kieran!

Pushtrak

callaway92 wrote: »

"The Leaving Cert is the Be All and End All"

lol

Thats what they say first day in fifth year. Up to that, its about of how the Junior Cert is of such huge importance.

ToniTuddle

Excellent stuff.
Makes me wish I had more crazy teachers....

Maybe my new lecturers will say crazy things eventually

Greenmachine

mud wrote: »

When I was learning how to sew, the teacher (nun) told me that if i didn't pick up all the needles and pins when I was finished, one of them might go into my foot TRAVEL UP THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM STICK IN MY HEART AND i WOULD DIE

All well and good, fast forward 15 years, I'm in the OH's gaff on my own, I walk across the hall and suddenly I'm on the floor, mad pain in my heel, can't see any glass or even a cut.

Suddenly I'm sure that this is it!
This is when the errant needle sticks in my foot, travels up through my bloodstream and I die :eek:

Cue completely over the top panic and the writing of a 'goodbye letter'

cringe

turned out a wasp had stung me, I doubt I'll ever live it down.


Damn you Sr Kieran!

My one and only surgery was to remove a sewing needle from my foot that I Stepped on in the Garage on the way to the downsatair loo. Luckly I had'nt started school yet so no scare mongering. I do remember getting jelly and icecream everyday though.

Blackbetty68

i was told that tamagotchis were bad for ya...
dam teachers

Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Excellent stuff.
Makes me wish I had more crazy teachers....

Maybe my new lecturers will say crazy things eventually

One of my lectures talks about string then denys it and she talks about muffins a lot too

Pdfile

number10a wrote: »

Give us some examples of the weird and fúcked up things that you were told in school by your teachers.

I'll start off with one of mine that arouses a few giggles (and that I ashamedly believed :rolleyes:):

- According to my biology teacher, weasels have pockets to store food in for later. I only found out a few months ago that this was not the case.

Also, my nana was told a few odd things by the nuns when she was in school:

- It was a sin to use a black toilet.

- Hair is turned grey by spirits coming and taking away the colour.

i was once told " why do you have your clothes on, its P.E "


we where in the weirdly secluded closest.


woulda been cool if my teacher wasnt so fat and baldy.

Pyr0

Our Geography teacher had a very unique idea to repopulate the fish population in the sea. Giving them disco balls, beds and viagra would clearly help the situation.

Keano

Our honours English teacher for LC has such "faith" in us that he proudly claimed one day that no one would get an A. So sure he was he said with a smug face that he would hand over the deeds of house to anyone who got an A. Well Mr English teacher someone did. Jerk.

waraf

ToniTuddle wrote: »

My 5th class teacher(a female) told all of the girls to always :

• hold in your tummy
• stick out your chest

That's the proper way to walk.

That's exactly the sort of stuff that should be on the curriculum

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

The type you wanna get to know when she hits 17.










Eugh, that's gross....

Give her enough time to collect every STI and STD??? No thanks...

plein de force

Priests have magical powers to turn water into red wine

CrazyRabbit

plein de force wrote: »

Priests have magical powers to turn water into red wine

That may be true. My local priest gave me lots of wine.

airscotty

Doing Probability in Maths - the teacher turns around to find one of the lads about the launch a 'spit bomb' across the room - teacher shouts "whats the probability i'll kick your arse if you throw that"!

Futurecrook

When we were studying da vinci's "last supper" in art history in 5th year our student teacher tried to teach us "facts" she had learned from the Da Vinci Code. I had to tell her the book was a work of fiction. She'd thought it was real...

Buford T Justice

We had an intercom system in our school which had a button on it. (Not sure what it actually did though)

Me: Miss, what happens if I press this button?

Teacher: Don't touch that button, you'll get an electric shock

Me: From a plastic button miss?

Teacher: Don't be smart now.

**Timbuk2**

That you can't divide by zero.