Weird things your teachers told you in school

The guy

Our 5th class teacher told us that there is nothing smaller than an atom. :rolleyes:

El Siglo

The guy wrote: »

Our 5th class teacher told us that there is nothing smaller than an atom. :rolleyes:

I've heard that one all right... feck sake.

When my grandfather was in primary school years ago (late 1920s), the teacher brought the class outside to see an aeroplane flying, he asked the teacher "why does the aeroplane make that noise?" to which the teacher responded "that's the wings flapping".

cianor

It is not really weird - but it is wrong. "That there is a leap-year every four years"

dylano_k

We had this Irish teacher who was a tad thick that did Aural exams in other schools and when he told us we asked him who was the best and he told some girl who was terrific at the oral and she flew through it, then at the end he finished with the classic line.........."she was the best i ever came across" needless to say the whole class was rolling on the floor laughing, then he said he could report us all for sexual abuse when he realized what he said and the laughing got bigger, side splitting day in Irish Class.

Same teacher, different day...He was telling us about words that are the same in Irish but mean different things like 1 humped camels and 2 humped camels...one of the lads said..."you humped a waahhh" and he said "camels, camels" he laughed for a second with the rest of us but then started to dish out the rules again..........i failed Irish BTW

Het-Field

The old chestnut.

"Het-field, you wont amount to anything" !

Just look at me now !!!

....................................oh wait.

Funglegunk

In third class our teacher told us he used to work in a banana-straightening factory. To this day we haven't found out if that was true...

Jay P

In second class our teacher told us that clouds were made by the smoke coming out of planes

folan

I once had a class where the teacher just told us what to look for when buying a house.

Good irish class.

Or the classic in Irish class
"Sir, I dont know what this means?"
"Well, what do you think it means?"

fullback4glin

"Once I get your pants down it'll be easy"

spinandscribble

"hitler wasn't all bad he build mighty roads, remember that always" -5th class

"sure he was a pedophile but his wife is lovely and noone should be putting her through this, let him off i say" religion teacher 2nd year

"right i was going to show you this documentary about a cult where women have sex with animals but i couldn't find the video but if anyone doesn't want to watch a woman having sex with a dog or pig you can sit out next weeks religion class" same teacher

"personally i'd have preferred to be a whore or courtesan in roman/greek times because of the freedom" that was only funny because she was like 80 something

i had one teacher in a FETAC course refer to midgets as animals begining with M. i nearly died laughing but she had NO idea it was funny.

larchielads

dambarude wrote: »

Our Geography teacher tried to tell us that the Great Famine happened in the 1950s.

What would geography teachers know about history anyways??!!:D

back in 6th class our teacher had this saying "Where would ye be goin with your bell on your bike and your pants ringin?" never did find out what he meant by that.

gleep

When I was about 9 or 10 our english teacher told us that Skyscraper was spelt skycraper. I argued the point, "Sir, thats sky - craper"

Cue howls of laughter from my friends - haha he said crap

"Thats how it's spelt, gleep, you got it wrong"

"No-its not sir, its a sky-scraper because it scrapes the sky"

"Stand outside the door gleep, you fool":pac::pac::pac:

Sinall

When we were in primary school a girl in my class was whistling (it was quite the skill to have at the time!) and one of the nuns went mad when she heard her and told us that every time a "young lady" whistles the Virgin Mary blushes!!!

Sea Sharp

the teacher we had in first year admitted she was a lesbian to her class on her 'last day'.
By third (or 5th, my memory isn't great) she came back to the school.

Nolanger

We'd all be married by our mid-'20s! Didn't tell us most Irish women are ugly though

The guy

Nolanger wrote: »

We'd all be married by our mid-'20s! Didn't tell us most Irish women are ugly though

It's difficult to get women though when you have no langer.

TPD

My physics teacher asked another student if they could see air escaping from a bell jar.

Same teacher also couldn't comprehend that polarity could have an effect on experiments. I had to explain it to her

Sea Sharp

The guy wrote: »

It's difficult to get women though when you have no langer.

His mane is Nol Anger.
You just made him angry

beauty101

Have sex and you'll die

We were even forced to watch a 2 hour video of some fat b***h telling us how we'd die of STDs

I'm still alive:rolleyes:

edward croker

Had a teacher tell us in secondary school that "the atlantic ocean separates Ireland from England". When I politely interjected and asked "Sir doesn't the Irish Sea separate Ireland from England"?, The teacher went mental handed me the chalk and said "why don't you teach the class"?
he then stormed out of the room.

star.chaser

now don't tell anyone else about this. we'll just keep it our little secret.

mp22

This hurts me more than it hurts you! Strange as he was the one with the leather belt:mad:

Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy

fullback4glin wrote: »

"Once I get your pants down it'll be easy"

Who said that to you!? I'm weak

Black Magic

What would be easy about it? It would be quite sore trying to open it up.

Chinafoot

brummytom wrote: »

I've said it before, but my maths teacher told me I was impotent.

Are you sure it wasn't 'impudent'. Makes a bit more sense, and makes your response a bit non-sensical.

We were by our careers teacher (who often wore two different shoes) in our all-girls school that the only suitable jobs for women were teachers (home ec only) and nurses. She was a bit mad.

Libertewhite

A teacher once said to me: "Your voice is very soothing and calming":cool:

Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy

Libertewhite wrote: »

A teacher once said to me: "Your voice is very soothing and calming":cool:

My friend was told by his year head something like that, she also said "you look really good in leather" e_e creepy

Scrambled egg

I wouldn't go the Arctic without a 16mm rifle, those polar bears are fierce. Say that in the most twisted/ stoned Dublin accent you can imagine.

Aldito

In maybe 2nd or 3rd class, our teacher told us the sun rotated at night and the moon was on the back of it.

We also had a substitute teacher who was a nun. She told us it was a sin to use a red pen.

3greenrizla's

the first thing any teacher said to me in secondary school....

"You're ???'s brother aren't you?....I'll be watching you"

Same teacher...
"you can't pick up broken teeth with broken fingers"

"English isn't a real language, they stole it from IRELAND (and occasionally from latin, greek & so on). Irish is a beautiful language which only occasionally has to borrow words (usually for modern things that don't mater in real life)"

through gritted teeth, after a parent teacher meeting -
"I don't hate all english people mumble mumble mumble and don't want to give anyone the impression I do"

My Sience teacher told me (aged 15) the chemical formula for speed & told me that if I applied myself and managed to get as far as second year chemistry in university I would learn how to make it along with acid and eustacy. I didn't apply myself, but I think it's fair to say that he knew his audience.