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One Foot Out......

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  • 04-01-2010 3:49pm
    #1
    Dinky2191
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭


    I'm 19 and i just came out to 2 of my sisters and a friend but i still feel as though i'm in the closet. I know i should tell my friends and family and just hope for the best but i know for a fact my dad will not deal with it very well. He's the biggest homophoobe i have met and it doesn't bode well for things to come.
    I figured out about my sexuality when i was in college last year and it's all thanks to one girl. She was visiting friends in the college for a week and we met on the Monday and said goodbye on the following Sunday. It was the best week of my life and she visited on alternate weekends. We spent most of the week in my apartment and i think i fell for her right then and there. But she ended up changing her mind and saying she wasn't ready for anything like that with a girl and then she told me she had a son. It took the wind right out of my sails and i was out for the count. She hasn't spoken to me since and i can't stop thinking about her. I know she just got scared and ran away from the unknown and she probably thought i couldn't handle that she had a son but i don't mind. As long as i had her i could have conquered the world but now she's gone and i don't have the confidence to do anything anymore.
    If anyone has any ideas about what i should do please help!!!!!


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    #2
    Tricity Bendix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Tricity Bendix


    Is there a reason this is in yellow? I can't read it.


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    #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Dinky2191 wrote: »
    I'm 19 and i just came out to 2 of my sisters and a friend but i still feel as though i'm in the closet. I know i should tell my friends and family and just hope for the best but i know for a fact my dad will not deal with it very well. He's the biggest homophoobe i have met and it doesn't bode well for things to come.

    Congratulations I hope that they were accepting and it well - You don't have to tell everyone all at once - everyone comes out in different ways and you can take your time before telling other friends and family members - Your father might react badly but in time he might accept it
    Dinky2191 wrote: »
    I figured out about my sexuality when i was in college last year and it's all thanks to one girl. She was visiting friends in the college for a week and we met on the Monday and said goodbye on the following Sunday. It was the best week of my life and she visited on alternate weekends. We spent most of the week in my apartment and i think i fell for her right then and there. But she ended up changing her mind and saying she wasn't ready for anything like that with a girl and then she told me she had a son. It took the wind right out of my sails and i was out for the count. She hasn't spoken to me since and i can't stop thinking about her. I know she just got scared and ran away from the unknown and she probably thought i couldn't handle that she had a son but i don't mind. As long as i had her i could have conquered the world but now she's gone and i don't have the confidence to do anything anymore.

    If anyone has any ideas about what i should do please help!!!!

    I suppose in a way the best thing to do is learn from this, accept her choice and move on - there is no point in letting this get to you forever - you could be saying in 50 years time "As long as i had her i could have conquered the world but now she's gone and i don't have the confidence to do anything anymore."

    A few suggestions - I note that you are located in Dundalk - maybe you should contact Dundalk Outcomers
    http://www.outcomers.org/

    Also if you are in college - has your college got an LGBT Society?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #4
    taz007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭taz007


    firstly you made the hardest move so far and congrats. you need to enjoy being in your own skin for a while and dont get all hung up on the what ifs your gay brilliant but your also a person gay is just a term and believe me most of tour family and friends already know they just wait to be told.
    get your head together hold it high and be proud, things we expect from some people may not be their reaction so give your dad a break, my advice is go slow tell people you know will support you first and then build up to your dad as then youll have confidence and help :)
    and as said let her go some people dabble with the gay idea and after all shes just the only thing in your head at moment and you think shes irreplaceable but sad to say she is.


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    #5
    Dinky2191
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭Dinky2191


    Also if you are in college - has your college got an LGBT Society?[/quote]

    I dropped out of college at the beginning of this year. So i guess that option is closed to me but thank you for for telling me about the website i'll give it try.
    Thanks for your input


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