need help potty training

nikkir359

hi we have a 3year 5 month old boy we have been potty training him for 5 months now he does go for a wee in the toilet but only when i tell him too he has at least 3 accidents a day and always poo's in his undies he is a very bright child in every other way as in learning numbers and letters even irish and spanish but he just cant crack this i am getting a bit worried now at this stage and he is supposed to be starting school in september and we have another baby on the way in july id like him to be well into it before number 2 comes along has anyone any advice or has anyone else gone through the same all comments really appriciated...
thank you
xxx:(

sold

nikkir359 wrote: »

hi we have a 3year 5 month old boy we have been potty training him for 5 months now he does go for a wee in the toilet but only when i tell him too he has at least 3 accidents a day and always poo's in his undies he is a very bright child in every other way as in learning numbers and letters even irish and spanish but he just cant crack this i am getting a bit worried now at this stage and he is supposed to be starting school in september and we have another baby on the way in july id like him to be well into it before number 2 comes along has anyone any advice or has anyone else gone through the same all comments really appriciated...
thank you
xxx:(

Place a ping pong ball in the toilet and get his dad (not sure if the poster is male or female) to get him to pee in the toilet at the ball.(like a game) You will need to get a booster so he can reach the toilet,

100% will work if he likes the game.

for #2's make the bathroom a nice place to go, get kiddies hand wash and reword him every time he goes.

I had 2 girls that were potty trained in 2 days, but by nature I think girls are a lot quicker than boys.

smelltheglove

My first girl was easy, my second was fine with the wees but the poos, nightmare, she'd rub it on walls and everything. I noticed the less pressure I put on her the easier it went. Are you using potties? I would always have a potty in the room even for the first few months after training. I left nighttime training a few months, little one just turned 3 and now is trained for night, she still wakes up for a wee but there is a potty at the end of her bed for her so she gets straight back into bed.

Ickle Magoo

Aim for day training only at first. We had a potty in every room, just in case. Get a cork or something floaty and put that in the loo to give him something to aim at and set up a box or step so he'll be at the right hight. If you can, get the house warm and leave his pants and trousers off - pop him on the potty/loo every 10mins or so whether he says he needs or not; huge praise and prize for anything produced.

Completely ignore when he has an accident and shrug it off with "Well get it in the potty and get a sweetie next time, yeah?!" time encouragement. I stayed put for a couple of days until he had the hang of it, then ventured on longer and longer journeys making sure to have plenty of toilet stops and yet more praise and prizes! :pac:

Black Magic

Good luck. Boys usually take longer than girls.

Nevyn

welcome to the parenting forum Black Magic, I sugget you read the charter of this forum
and remember this is a serious enough forum which was set up to be suportive of parents.

nikkir359

hey guys thanks v much for the support ...

grizzlyadams

Hey guys , having a bit of trouble with our second boy as regards the dreaded pooh training . Actually , we're at our wits end . He is mostly fine with the wees , although still wears the pull-up at night .
We have tried everything from softly softly to giving out to rewarding and sometimes out of the blue he will go but there is no common denominator . By the way he is 4 next month and he now holds on to it for maybe two or three days and just makes little "releases" that soil his underpants maybe once or twice a day .
As i say we're at our wits end and would really appreciate any advice from those of you that have maybe seen or experienced this kind of behaviour .
My wife reckons it could be attention seeking as we had twin girls 16 months ago and our eldest boy (6) is now in school . Or it could be laziness

regards , grizzly

burd

Poor little chap, I saw a piece on that embarrassing illness program, a little girl doing same thing, turned out she had a too small anus, so doc put her under, and she stretched it with her fingers, no cutting or anything, I am not suggesting you do this yourself of course but might be worth getting doc to have a look at his bottom?

Deliverance

nikkir359 wrote: »

hi we have a 3year 5 month old boy we have been potty training him for 5 months now he does go for a wee in the toilet but only when i tell him too he has at least 3 accidents a day and always poo's in his undies he is a very bright child in every other way as in learning numbers and letters even irish and spanish but he just cant crack this i am getting a bit worried now at this stage and he is supposed to be starting school in september and we have another baby on the way in july id like him to be well into it before number 2 comes along has anyone any advice or has anyone else gone through the same all comments really appriciated...
thank you
xxx:(

Well in my case the child was given a reward system based on stars. After a goal amount of stars via sucessful poops and visits to the the toilet my little one got a small toy or some other reward for doing succesful poops on the toilet.

High praise was given as well and applauded. This encoruaged them to positively use the toilet. It worked.

up for anything

Rewards all the way.

My middle son wouldn't poo in the toilet until he was just turned 5. He used to come in from playing with his friends, I'd put a nappy on him, he'd poop, I'd clean him up and out he'd go again. He'd wee in the toilet but nothing else. I had a major panic when it was coming up to July and he was supposed to be doing the 'getting to know' big school week. My sister sat him down with the Argos catalogue and told him to pick out something he liked. He picked a big box set of dinky cars. She went down the town and bought them, showed them to him and told him if he poo'd in the toilet for a full week and didn't resort to the nappies he could have them. My contribution was that every time he used the toilet I'd take him to MacDonalds. Worked like a charm.

Deliverance

up for anything wrote: »

Rewards all the way.

My middle son wouldn't poo in the toilet until he was just turned 5. He used to come in from playing with his friends, I'd put a nappy on him, he'd poop, I'd clean him up and out he'd go again. He'd wee in the toilet but nothing else. I had a major panic when it was coming up to July and he was supposed to be doing the 'getting to know' big school week. My sister sat him down with the Argos catalogue and told him to pick out something he liked. He picked a big box set of dinky cars. She went down the town and bought them, showed them to him and told him if he poo'd in the toilet for a full week and didn't resort to the nappies he could have them. My contribution was that every time he used the toilet I'd take him to MacDonalds. Worked like a charm.

Great that that worked for you. But now your stuck with a child that looks at MacDonalds as a reward. i.e. junk food and a highly branded one at that. A visit to a coffee shop or place like that for my little one has given her a realisation that much nicer alternative 'less branded' rewards can be hers.

It works, she likes her early morning scone with jam and butter over a cheesy burger. As an added bonus 'I think', she enjoys the social experiece over the junk food experience. I know this because once during a lazy moment by me she refused a MacDonalds and prefered a coffee shop.

A positive reward can have long term good or bad effects depending on how you choose to use it.

up for anything

Deliverance wrote: »

But now your stuck with a child that looks at MacDonalds as a reward. i.e. junk food and a highly branded one at that.

Really, how do you know this about my child?

I haven't been stuck with anything. You have to offer the child something that truly appeals to them and not to you. It is their reward, not yours. If I'd offered him something that appealed to me he would still be crapping in his nappy.

pickarooney

Our son had no interest in the potty until about a month ago (2y10) when he saw two of his friends having a wee up against a tree and decided he wanted in. We got him underpants the next day and prepared for a long, messy transition. He was clean within two days though; once he had it in his head that he was a big boy like his friends he just didn't want to know about nappies any more. I know we've been lucky, but just to let you know in this case peer pressure/emulation was the driving factor rather than a reward system.

up for anything wrote:

My contribution was that every time he used the toilet I'd take him to MacDonalds.

You mean you'd bring him to use the toilets in McDonalds or you'd bring him to get a takeaway each time he had a poo?

Deliverance

up for anything wrote: »

Really, how do you know this about my child?

I haven't been stuck with anything. You have to offer the child something that truly appeals to them and not to you. It is their reward, not yours. If I'd offered him something that appealed to me he would still be crapping in his nappy.

I often put my foot in my mouth with good intentions in mind;) You are correct about rewards. In my case I offer rewards in different ways. I could say a lot more about your reward system as opposed to mine. I won't because we would certainly just disagree. That is material for a different thread really.

At the end of the day I suspect that we both have the best interests of the childs pooping habits at heart;)

Davidth88

We used the 'reward ' system , our little one gets very little TV time

So the reward for a ' poo ' was to watch a short story on DVD.

Worked well , but a pain if you are in a hurry :-)

Good luck !

Waternews

Hi OP,

Regarding the pee accidents, it's sounds a bit mean, but don't rush to change him. Leave him for a minute or two so that the wee cools and becomes uncomfortable. Not an hour or anything!!! If you whip off the clothes while the wee is still warm (sorry!) they don't necessarily 'feel it'.

I think the advice on the ping pong ball is inspired!

Re poo. My DD saved her poo for her bedtime nappy :rolleyes:. We used a reward chart too, did a big cheer/hugs/singing etc when she did a poo in the toilet.

Our reward chart was a 'sliding scale'. So the first 3 poo's got an individual reward, then three in a row, then five in a row, then 8 in a row. Then we stopped.

I still praise a poo in the toilet though.
I have found that offering her a choice of potty, toilet, and toilet with the seat insert helped. She's often more comfortable on the potty.

Best of luck.

delly

My wife came up with a good idea regarding the poo's as the reward system wasn't too effective. She made a big deal of how the poo wanted to jump into the toilet and go for a swim, and how he wouldn't be happy otherwise. Within a day or two my daughter was eager to go to the toilet just so the poo could jump in and go for a swim, while we obviously made a big deal about it saying mammy and daddy were so happy etc.