Problem with another child in daycare

galwaydude

Our little one has been going to daycare since September. She is 2. Another kid in her class has been pushing her and just recently began pulling her hair. My wife has been on to the director of the school and they are looking into separating some of the kids as they have noticed it too. The child in question doing the pushing does it with other kids as well. Have other people been in this situation with their kids in daycare and if so what can be done. I know 2 year olds can be playful but this seems to be happening more than i like. I know i may be overreacting but i want to sort this out before it starts to affect our baby.

Ickle Magoo

Hi there Galwaydude

I found bite marks on my child one day - and on numerous occasions we were taken to one side and a hair pulling or push over was given to explain various grazes and bruises. A couple of months later, other parents were being pulled over because my kid was the one doing the biting or hair pulling. They all go through stages of being the terror of the group. Moral of the story; I wouldn't be too quick to go in guns blazing & demand retributions because if your kid starts going through that phase, you'll be hoisted by your own petard.

The daycare my kid attended used a naughty cushion and they had various soft play toys for kids to vent frustrations out on rather than each other. When you have the limited communication skills combines with the temper of a toddler, it can sometimes just be a case of damage limitation until they grow out of it.

Best of luck!

maxxie

If it was me id train my child in various styles of fighting.. Imagine your little 2 year old flying through the air like Bruce Lee deadly, and if he/she really is the next Bruce who needs school. They will become rich from films.

I have proven I am not ready to have kids

we'llallhavetea_old

i'd say its a phase to be honest. my daughter went through this when she was two, as did my niece. they'd take it in turns to play the victim every couple of days! they're both five now and fine (well they can be like a pair of bitches somedays too! but no hitting, just strops!)

trish23

Hi there Galwaydude. Can understand your problem as I've had problems in this area too. My daughter is now 3 & has been both the victim & the cause! Kids are kids & will find their own level but what worries me about creches is how they handle it - Is the 'agressor' being taught that their actions are wrong & what steps are the creche taking to correct this? Are the activities in the creche enough to keep children occupied & fulfilled? Children have a very basic sense of 'fair play' - are their needs being attended to? What is the age breakdown of children in the centre? Chat with your childs' minder but remember it will/could be the other way round in a couple of months!:)

metrovelvet

Yes they all go through this but imo in every school there are a couple of little ****s who are especially aggressive. So its hard to say what you should do. Also it teaches the other kids how to be little ****s also. Maybe ask them what their policy is on how they discipline and express your concerns. But do be diplomatic because your little one will eventually be doing something to in self defence. My son who used to come crying to mommy when his friend tried to take his toy now takes said toy and clocks said friend on the head with it. Hes 2 and a half and late with this stage. Its an overnight change.

Dfens

+1 on what most of the other posters said, the main thing is to find out how the daycare handle this problem - time-out, naughty-bench etc. to make sure that bad behaviour isn't tolerated and encouraged. I think most parents go through the various stages of this, with our child being the victim or offendor, or perhaps both. We also sometimes ride the rollercoaster of emotions as we go through these stages from indignation and protection to mortification and embarassment - it's just part of being a parent !

Maxxie's idea is probably not the best way forward but I agree it would be kinda cool to see, especially since I witnessed my 2 (3 and 18 months) pretend-fighting after seeing The Karate Kid on TV over the christmas - the 18 month old did one move that looked remarkably like 'The Crane'

LegacyUser

wel in my opinion as a child care worker of two yr olds, this behaviour is common in group play, every child goes through frustration situations which can be caused by many circumstances e.g. not enough stimulation, boredom or jus de simple language barrier as in not enough vocabulary to explain their frustration so they take it out on de nearest child or object. i find the key to getting through this is to talk to your child using simple words e.g. pulling hair is not nice, biting is not nice and it makes their friends sad.
and for the child recieving the bite or hair pullin explain to them their friend is angry/sad, and reinforce its not nice behaviour to try prevent your child expressing this behaviour.
good luck to parents on both sides, nd remember kids wil be kids!!!