Concerned mother

imokyrok

LC students and their parents on this thread might have some words of advice for me regarding my 18 LC son. He's very bright but totally unmotivated. He barely does assigned homework never mind study.

I find this very frustrating as at his age I'd already left home and was working a couple of part time jobs while putting myself through college. I don't know whether to say he's an adult and it's up to him or draw up a study routine for him and supervise it ruthlessly. This would require me to become the uber b1tch from hell and I'll do it if I decide it's in his best interests but I would be interested in others point of view.

yenoBAYUB

DONT FORCE HIM...theres nothing more we hate than being forced to do something, if hes left to his own devices, chances are he'll freak out and do it. What i would suggest though is motivating him, give him a well done if he does well on a test, start talking to him about college, ask him what he wants to do, remind him his CAO has to be in in a few weeks! Motivation is the key, not forcing.

spurious

He really has to do it for himself. He's bright, so he knows it's not going to all 'just happen'. There's no point you standing over him for the LC. He's old enough to do it himself.

There might even be value in letting him get the fright of his life by carrying on with his methods so far.

imokyrok

yenoBAYUB wrote: »

DONT FORCE HIM...theres nothing more we hate than being forced to do something, if hes left to his own devices, chances are he'll freak out and do it. What i would suggest though is motivating him, give him a well done if he does well on a test, start talking to him about college, ask him what he wants to do, remind him his CAO has to be in in a few weeks! Motivation is the key, not forcing.

I've been doing all those things to no avail so far. I even had to read the CAO for him and call out every course to get his opinion on whether he was interested or not. This guy is so laid back he's permanently horizontal. But he performs bewteen the 95th and 75th percentile on the aptitude tests (and dire in standard exams). He really has ability and I hate to see him waste it.

djk1000

Don't worry about it, if the worst happens and he doesn't do well in the leaving, there's always next year, or a plc course leading on to a university course. The LC is not the end of the world. I did terribly at it, didn't get a place in college and went off the rails for a while. It became a huge regret as most of my piers found college to be great fun and I was left out, people with degrees were doing better than me in work too.

Long story short, no one or nothing could have forced me to study then, it took me time to realise that I fecked up and it took me a bit longer still to realise that there are second chances. So as a mature student, I have a degree in accounting, nearly finished a degree in business studies and economics and hopefully next academic year, I'll be doing a masters in economics, all of this just because I want to, no pressure, just a love of learning which I thought had been beaten out of me by the school system.

I'd suggest that you leave him to his leaving cert, suss him out about what he might like to do in college and research ways that he can do that without a great leaving cert (plc, certificate courses etc.)

Lola92

imokyrok wrote: »

I've been doing all those things to no avail so far. I even had to read the CAO for him and call out every course to get his opinion on whether he was interested or not. This guy is so laid back he's permanently horizontal. But he performs bewteen the 95th and 75th percentile on the aptitude tests (and dire in standard exams). He really has ability and I hate to see him waste it.

I see a bit of a resemblance between myself and your son, I would also perform well in aptitude tests etc. and yet this is rarely reflected in schoolwork/exams. In my case it's because I am a terrible procrastinator (should be doing accounting homework now as it happens).

Locking him in his room/forcing him to study won't have much of an effect. Maybe sit him down and discuss it calmly just pointing out that putting in a couple of hours over the next few months will be well worth the outcome, its better than having to repeat the year in any case!

As for CAO get him to put down courses in a few areas that he is interested in, after all he has until the beginning of July to decide about college!

I can see why this is frustrating for you but as they say although you can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink. Maybe the mocks will be the wake up call that he needs!

ntlbell

imokyrok wrote: »

LC students and their parents on this thread might have some words of advice for me regarding my 18 LC son. He's very bright but totally unmotivated. He barely does assigned homework never mind study.

I find this very frustrating as at his age I'd already left home and was working a couple of part time jobs while putting myself through college. I don't know whether to say he's an adult and it's up to him or draw up a study routine for him and supervise it ruthlessly. This would require me to become the uber b1tch from hell and I'll do it if I decide it's in his best interests but I would be interested in others point of view.

Forcing someone else to do something is never in their best interests.

Sit him down and talk to him about what he wants to do.

School is not for everyone, yet it tries to teach everyone the same way.

Maybe he would be more interested in something more practical.

sit him down and talk to him and listen, don't talk at him.

dan_d

Forcing him to study definitely won't do it.
Be careful that he hasn't got into the habit of thinking that because he's smart and repeatedly being told that, then he doesn't have to do any work and everything will be fine. He might be intelligent book-wise, but he's obvioulsy not intelligent/mature enough to realise that this exam does count. And I'm not casting aspersions on him, I'm just saying it's an attitude you find quite often, particularly among boys. "He's bright but he won't do the work". There's more than one type of intelligence.
All you can do is your best to motivate him, by talking to him about it. After that, to be honest, some people just don't realise what they've done until they've made the mess. I hate to say it, and I know that it's going make both your life and his way more difficult, but doing badly could be the kick up the a%$ that he needs.
Best of luck.

smartarse2007

seriously let him do what he wants cause the more you nag at him to do this and that the less he is gonna do it

honestly as it comes closer he say start to cop on to what he needs to do and especially afta he gets his mocks back he might realise he has to do more work or could even surprize you

seriously even if he was to start working in the last month with study etc he has enough time to get very good marks

everything will sort itself out and remember it is already a stressful time for him so dont make it worse by being on his back let him at it cause that way he will only have himself to blame etc........if worse comes to worse ahah

imokyrok

Well the consensus seems to be leave him to it. He doesn't have a specific course he wants which doesn't help as there is no carrot dangling. The plc option is fortunate - that wasn't available as a college route why I was his age. As for only having himself to blame - doncha know he'll blame the ma regardless! It's already my "fault" I persuaded him to do transition year and "wasted" a year. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.

BJC

When I did my leaving cert I did literally no work or homework for the last two years of school, I hated the place with a vengance and after I bought my first car at 17, my attendance was down to an hour or two a day and usually only two or three days a week. Regardless of all of this I knew it was on my head if I failed and I did a bare minmum of study about a week before the exams start. I got 400 points and went on to do a bachelor of science degree in NUIM. If he is intelligent as you say he is, he should land on his feet.

Seloth

Before starting 5th year I told my mam not to tell me to study as I'll do it on my own time,asking or foricng me to study wont work...so far now that I'm in 6th shes only odne it two or three times and I cna tell you I didnt either of those times boh leading to an argument :rolleyes:

Try and incourage him to look at courses that reflect his interests,for instanc e I like politics so I'm going for Government,A friend of mine likes Music so hes aiming for music etc .

By doing that he should be self encouraged to get those points,other wise if he does bad the repeat may set him in place heh.

xxmeabhxx

Maybe failing and then repeating is the wake up call he needs, he doesn't seem to like school at all so try talking to him and getting through the point that if works now for the next few months then he'll never have to do school ever again and this time next year he'll be doing a course he loves (if he finds one which he probs will, there's a huge choice). That's whats keeping me motivated, not having to do school after June and going to university. How did he get on in his junior cert if you don't mind me asking? Was he the way he is now?