Don't know how to establish a relationship

Affable

Have always drifted. Am in my late twenties. See women I find interesting but can't establish anything. Because I've always been a drifter my life situation now is uncertain, not wealthy(thoguh the folks are ok) but still tied to inaccessable dreams of writing etc, cant find a job I want etc, directionless. I do have personality, looks ok, enthusiasm, in my own sometimes grim understated way. But I just cant find focus. Half the time I dont want to fake wanting a relationship as I dont like fake sentiments, o I will withdraw into my own world a lot, as I'm a dreamer. But when the urge does strike me and I see someone captivating, I do want compaionship sometimes, perhaps I'm idealising it. I sdon't know if not being a good provider for kids, a bit of a dreamer, not WANTING kids, are bad where women are concerned. Sure I've got experience of meaningless flings but not a full grown, mature relationship with a woman or even life.

So whar do I do? Where am I going wrong, or have I just not made the effort--is it the case that actually I dont even eant it enough, I just want the mystery/chemistry but not the hard bit? After all the reality is I'm abstracted and there may not be much to say.

Kevster

Some would argue that you just haven't met the right person yet, while others would say that you have to change yourself if you want to get a relationship going. The truth is that it's probably a bit of both. So, I'm thinking that you should actively think about what you could possibly do differently to make a relationship work better. If you try harder and harder, things should eventually materialise for you.

Don't let this relationship stuff stall other things in your life thuogh. Things have to get moving along. You seem to be carrying a lot of 'weight' which could do with being dropped. How this would manifest itself in a practical sense is yiou simply ignoring people that aren't actually your friends and just stress you out, ignoring those who upset you, throwing out stuff you don't need, etc. It's about bringing a new 'you' into the future, and leaving the old 'you' in the past.

All said and done, you should definately talk to your family about your low mood too.

Kevin

Affable

Thanks..yeah I do feel I got stuff going for me its just that i'm kind of detached, cant be entertaining always, not always a 'light' kind of person..... I want something mysterious, maybe thats askingtoo much but dont want a conventional life--maybe I'm prejudging and some women dont like an entertaining type. Maybe i just need a more natural place for it to occur but work is a bit limiting and the women that really spark my curioisty i might see in a coffee place, train wherever. I dont want to seem unnatrual in my approach so it's difficult. I like an arrangment like this-casual friends, can explore things together, talk when we need each other, support each other etc. But I haven't attained it yet. There arent really good websites for it and dont wanna use phonelines.