Has porn influenced your attitudes towards and expectations of sex?

Piste

I was going to post this thread in the sex discussion thread, but I think it merits its own thread. From reading this thread on women's attitude to porn I saw a lot of people mention that young lads these days expect young girls to do everything they see porn stars do, and that young girls feel under pressure to act like porn stars.

Do you think this is true? If you've never had sex before, do you expect your first time to be like a porno?

I would have thought that young guys would be so glad to get the leg over they wouldn't care what it's like instead of acting out the entire Kama Sutra!

Fad

Wording this diplomatically might be tricky......

I think porn has kinda liberalised sex (here especially), I dont think it is as taboo as it used to be.

I do however think, it puts some funny ideas into guys heads as to what girls would be up for.......

UCD does the porn debate every freshers week AFAIK, and while it's intended to be a fairly light hearted thing, it does bring up some issues. The whole where a guy ahem climaxes is one of them. It seems, that porn becoming popular has made a proportion of men think that ejaculating on one's partner's face is okay. Stuff along those lines.

It (Along with a lot of mainstream film) also seems to make people think loosing one's virginity is going to be the most magical experience ever. If boards is anything to go by, by and large, it's not.

jumpguy

I've never had a fondness of porn, I mean, I didn't not like it, but for some reason, when I watch it, none of the women seem attractive. Everytime I watch it I think "here's some slapper getting her pay" and they're usually fairly fugly (imo).

How does that effect my expectations of sex? Positively, I guess. I have no great expectations from the woman, or indeed myself! Not if we're both virgins at the time anyway. So no, I don't. I think a study like that greatly belittles teenage guy's intelligence and ability to think for themselves. Only the truly gullible would believe it (and there's alot out there).

While we're on the subject though, I do feel the whole pop-culture, pornography thing has put incredible pressure on teenagers. Losing your virginity is like a "faster, the better" kinda thing, even if we're not ready for it. Left right and centre you're friends are losing it (or they say they are), putting more pressure on other teens. Irresponsibility is promoted in our culture. Nearly every music video out today depicts sex/makes young people think of sex in some form. It's glorified. It's aimed at teens. Why? Because it'll sell.

It's given alot of teens unrealistic expectations and put alot of pressure on alot of teens who aren't ready for it, and it's greatly unfair. However, this point may refer more to society now in general and the whole "pop-culture" thing rather than pornography, which is only a contributing factor.


Sorry if that isn't well-written, it's late for this!

Pigwidgeon

I've never watched porn. Not a conscious decision, I'm not anti-porn or anything, it's just never appealed to me personally.
I'd say it would be mainly with guys who do get influenced by porn seeing as they would generally watch it more than girls anyway.

Although I think girls opinion of sex and what it's going to be like would be influenced by television and movies too, with the likes of Sex and the City, and "chic flick" movies.
If they watch enough romantic stories etc, they are going to start thinking that everything will be like it is in the movies.

I really don't mean to sound incredibly cyncical here, I'm really not, but I really can't think of a better way to word things right now.

Piste

I think you make a good point, girls are just as capable of getting their ideas about sex from sitcoms and magazines as guys are from porn. The thing is, people tend to say that it's a terrible thing that young men are influenced by porn, but I havent seen any evidence of it*, which is why I started this thread.










and nor do I want to see any evidence :pac:

AJ STYLES

yes most definetly. i can see sex being such a let down because if its not like porn then ye it will suck

phlegms

2 girls 1 cup has ruined EVERYTHING for me

Iron Hide

No it hasn't because i have a life, and a girlfriend....

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

Piste

AJ STYLES wrote: »

yes most definetly. i can see sex being such a let down because if its not like porn then ye it will suck

Maybe you shouldn't have sex, wouldn't want to shatter the illusion

AJ STYLES

well id never be able to do casual sex because id prefer porn over sex with some heffer but i think with someone i love then ye it might be better.

jumpguy

Piste wrote: »

Maybe you shouldn't have sex, wouldn't want to shatter the illusion

Kinda harsh, Piste. :-/

phlegms

AJ STYLES wrote: »

well id never be able to do casual sex because id prefer porn over sex with some heffer but i think with someone i love then ye it might be better.

Such an immaculately constructed counter argument. I can find very few faults with the way in which it was presented and as such can only but wholeheartedly agree with what you have said.


luls..

AJ STYLES

i have better english but i couldnt be bothered writing good english on internet tbh

Piste

jumpguy wrote: »

Kinda harsh, Piste. :-/

Well he did say sex would be a letdown if it wasn't like porn, I'm only trying to preserve the illusion:

AJ STYLES wrote: »

yes most definetly. i can see sex being such a let down because if its not like porn then ye it will suck

phlegms

AJ STYLES wrote: »

i have better english but i couldnt be bothered writing good english on internet tbh

Then why make the effort of posting in the first place :S

ya-ba-da-ba-doo

If you're able to separate porn/chickflicks from real life It wont affect you much.


If you get the idea that girls are gonna be roaring the house down like in pornos, you'll more than likely be disappointed!


And same goes for girls expecting daisy fields of excitement!


Do much girls watch porn? Never heard one actually say they did.



(Note: I'm lovin' the tag! )



Edit: I'm a three starred boardsie! wooop!


:cool:

cHaTbOx

Has porn influenced my attitude towards sex . It seems that porn is way more acceptable now than it was twenty , even up to ten years ago .

"young lads these days expect young girls to do everything they see porn stars do, and that young girls feel under pressure to act like porn stars."

Young lads have ALWAYS wanted young girls to do naughty stuff , that's what a lot of young lads do . But it is a different story when you are with someone . The thing about porn is that all women are treated like objects with the same way of thinking as a man . But that is hard to do, when you are a bumbling fumbling fool , which a lot of lads are like around girls for a first time. There maybe an expectation , but everyone learns that life is not always what you expect.

"Do you think this is true? If you've never had sex before, do you expect your first time to be like a porno?"

I think that anyone thinking there first time would be like a porno , well is full of themselves . They may wish it was like a porno where they made the girl come 10 zillions times, but I doubt many ever thought it would be like that.

"I would have thought that young guys would be so glad to get the leg over they wouldn't care what it's like instead of acting out the entire Kama Sutra!"

I doubt they really care about acting out the entire Kama Sutra, But I'd say they at least want to be decent or have a general idea of what to do. I think men care a lot more about what a woman gets from sex than I'd say men used to .

Sex in general is talked about a lot more openly now , but I believe a young mind is malleable. There is so much out there now, so many ideas , so many ways to express yourself. Of course porn has made an influence on some parts of society , but there so much out there now to experience , so many more options that we don't know what effects us. Most porn has the view that the male gets what he wants. But that is not society we live in .
A problem may arise when young people don't learn to have self respect and this maybe a way to exploit it .

In summary, do I think porn has influenced my attitude towards sex ?
I don't think so .

SligoBrewer

No, cause I know it's bull****.


I know girls who are fascinated by it though. Without a doubt it does put them under pressure to be more.. experimental and daring I'd say.

AJ STYLES

really? i find it hard to think girls enjoy watching porn. it just seems weird to me.

The Walsho

Good thread Piste. I had a quick read of the Ladies Lounge one you linked to. I always enjoy it whenever I read that forum. Makes me feel like Zack Morris when he bugged the girls' sleepover. Some of the posts in there are really off the mark, and the quality of some of the posts here is quite the testament to this forum (and its users).

Anyway, I think people really overreact to porn and the effect it might have. A friend of mine put this brilliantly. He was caught wánking to porn by his mother (I considered re-structuring that sentence, but the potential misinterpretation is actually too hilarious), and she gave out to him on the grounds that it would make him less attracted to real women. He said he was thinking "well that's bullshít because every day I see average girls on the street and still think "schwing!"".

I do want my women to be a bit dirty once I get them into bed. That's very different to wanting them to be like porn stars. Men always have, and always will, enjoy a bit of filth (as women do) and I reckon that because porn is so commonplace these days, this enjoyment gets misattributed to porn.

Piste wrote: »

I would have thought that young guys would be so glad to get the leg over they wouldn't care what it's like instead of acting out the entire Kama Sutra!

This is pretty much exactly accurate.

Fad wrote: »

UCD does the porn debate every freshers week AFAIK, and while it's intended to be a fairly light hearted thing, it does bring up some issues. The whole where a guy ahem climaxes is one of them. It seems, that porn becoming popular has made a proportion of men think that ejaculating on one's partner's face is okay.

I'm sort of taking you out of context here (I think you were just using that as an example that happened to come to mind [oooh pardon my wording!]), but you say that as if it's some sort of horrifying act. If the girl isn't comfortable with it, then it is of course, but otherwise I feel it's harsh to vilify the men "who think that's okay". For the record, I don't go around jizzing on faces every day of the week. Usually just the weekends, y'know?

I also think that the whole "kids are under pressure to have sex" thing is overstated. I feel it's one of those things that people blame on the modern age. The only pressure I ever felt to have sex was from my own adolescent rampant horniness, never really from peers. Any peer pressure that is there, has probably always been there. Sure these days you see threads all over the internet telling people to wait and be patient before having sex. That voice wasn't there twenty years ago.
For the music videos depicting promiscuity and depravity, you still have tv shows and movies that depict responsibility, beauty and faithful love. I haven't seen the Notebook but I hear it's about that sort of thing. I saw "Up" recently and the relationship at the start of that is the nicest thing ever. It really annoys me how people whinge about how the world is going to shíte and we're all going to end up in morality's gutter. Note how that thread mentioned in the OP was inspired by the Daily Mail. The Daily Mail shouldn't fúcking exist.

I went a bit off topic there, soz.

I know men watch porn more than women, but surely this debate shouldn't be aimed solely at men? Has porn influenced women's view at all? Are they expecting forty inch cocks every time?
Being such a stud muffin of course, I'm not worried, but I think women are rarely discussed in this sort of thing.

Us men don't want a double D blonde bimbo who can't string a sentence together but will do anal on the first date. We do want a nice gal who'll be able to talk to Mammy and be a lady, but then go upstairs and enjoy a nice bit of the ol' sex (after Mammy's gone of course).

And give a blowjob.

And make me a sandwich.

That'll be grand like.

Pygmalion

I have to say I'm pretty disgusted and turned off by girls who "act like porn stars", so no, no it has not.
Of course I don't particularly enjoy watching any hardcore stuff either, don't get the appeal of ugly women with fake breasts trying to be as loud and obnoxious as possible while some guy (or perhaps more than one *shudder*) who clearly doesn't shower has his way with her, and the laughably bad storylines and/or conversations that for some reason accompany them are just insulting.

Fad

The Walsho wrote: »

I'm sort of taking you out of context here (I think you were just using that as an example that happened to come to mind [oooh pardon my wording!]), but you say that as if it's some sort of horrifying act. If the girl isn't comfortable with it, then it is of course, but otherwise I feel it's harsh to vilify the men "who think that's okay". For the record, I don't go around jizzing on faces every day of the week. Usually just the weekends, y'know?


Note how that thread mentioned in the OP was inspired by the Daily Mail. The Daily Mail shouldn't fúcking exist.

I was still quite drunk when I posted that.....I'm surprised it was in anyway coherent to begin with >_>

Err yeah, I understand what you mean. Personally speaking though, I think it's just a bit creepy, but really, what ever you're into Mark

And no, the Daily Mail should resolutely not exist {off topic; when some an hero from England killed herself, the Daily Mail reported "The Black Parade is where Emos hope to go when they die"......now as true as that is.........shhhhhh keep it to yourself DM.......geebags}

brummytom

Pornstars, by and large, as ugly as sin. Doesn't stop me from watching it, just means I have to search for hours. (I have standards, unlike my mates who can watch any old munter).

I'm infamous for my virginity, but no, I don't think porn has changed/raised my expectations of sex. Most girls I know regularly give handjobs/blowjobs, and a few engage in anal sex. I'm sure they don't all do it because they want to, per se, but because they feel they should.

I wouldn't expect a girl to do half the stuff the ones in porn videos do... especially the bloody screaming. In fact, if a girl felt the need to swear for 10 minutes straight while panting like a dog, I'd punch her. :pac:

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I think porn has changed what girls think is expected of them, but not neccessarily what is.

Aisling(",)

I dont think porn really influenced my attitude to sex but then again by the time id seen porn id already been intamite in the biblical sense.
I do think some of it has permeated down to young people though,especially in regards to the the jizz shot.A fair few lads i know expect girls to let them empty their load on them.
It seems more and more young lads seem to think its perfectly normal sex to involve oral sex and anal which a lot of girls wont do.I know that some of the girls i pall with do feel pressured to do that sort of thing and its down to the changing attidues regarding sex in our sociiety.
Ovbiously i cant say porn caused this change but i do think the portrayal of sex in the media (including porn) have changed peoples exceptions.

oh and some girls watch porn i do occasionally.;)

phlegms

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I do think some of it has permeated down to young people though,especially in regards to the the jizz shot.A fair few lads i know expect girls to let them empty their load on them.)

Being a dude myself, and knowing a lot of similarly minded dudes, I can honestly say I have never heard of a desire to do what you described. Maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong guys..

Aisling(",)

phlegms wrote: »

Being a dude myself, and knowing a lot of similarly minded dudes, I can honestly say I have never heard of a desire to do what you described. Maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong guys..

Yeah i always thought it was rather weird till a few of my friends got down and dirty with lads from cork...It could be just a cork thing or maybe just their group thing.

One lad i was seeing said it to me before,he got a definte no and if hed tried to do it then id have castrated him with my bare hands:)

The Walsho

Aisling(",) wrote: »

oh and some girls watch porn i do occasionally.;)

Good thing I'm sitting down here.

highlydebased

Aisling put it pretty well there.

TBH If it werent for porn I think jizz shots and anal sex would be somewhat unheard of in Irelands society

Pygmalion

Neon-Circles wrote: »

Aisling put it pretty well there.

TBH If it werent for porn I think jizz shots and anal sex would be somewhat unheard of in Irelands society

That wouldn't be a bad thing IMO

Ginja Ninja

I think it's great for irish society.I was watching that "stone cold sober" program last night and it shows that very few irish men have the confidence/courage to talk about sex unless they're blathered, at least porn is bringing sex to a more "acceptable" level.

Personally,I think you have to be a bit thick to think that being a plumber means you get to "Service" your customers on a daily basis.

Also,studies show[I'm to lazy to get a link for ye] that guys have a higher libido[sex drive] which is why men primarily watch porn whereas women prefer "soft" porn[mild references like sex and the city and desperate housewives] focussing more on the emotional side.

[speaking as a guy] I doubt the majority of us would like 2 girls 1 cup/facial scenarios*.I'll admit porn paints men in a bad light,but remember we're not all b*stards ladies