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Have you ever had depression?
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Best of luck with the recovery Degausser
Hope it all works out perfectly for you!
My family pretty much kept my brothers depression/etc until 4 weeks ago (Around/about that anyway..). That was when he attempted suicide but he'd tried it twice or something like that. I didn't know much was going on like, but yeah he'd been seeing a psychologist with years or shizz.. I'm still not sure what's wrong with him because I don't want to ask, but he seems ok now.. But then again he always seemed ok to me, so I'm not sure! But yeeeeeeah..0 -
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*emerges from boards darkness*
Have ye heard about See Change's Make A Ripple campaign? If someone's already mentioned it, I do apologise, but I'll explain it anyway in case they haven't! The idea is that you share your experience of mental illness and/or the stigma that's attached to that, or your experience of a friend's/relative's illness, and tell your story, in 100 words or less. You can attach your name to it (so as far as I know, it'd be like "Aoife's story") or you can remain anonymous. They're going to put all of these stories up on the Make A Ripple website, and others can then start to contribute their stories, the idea being that the more people talk about it, the more the stigma is reduced or at the very least, someone in the depths of some mental illness can read it and feel less alone, and/or more normal.
Seeing as some of you are openly talking about experiences of mental illness here, why not share it? If you're interested, you just email Mark Byrne at mbyrne@seechange.ie If you want more information, it's all there on the website http://seechange.ie/index.php/make-a-ripple. The website doesn't lauch til May... 4th, I think, so you've probably still got time to get them in for the launch, if not (or if you'd prefer not to email that guy at all), you can definitely post them once the site has launched!
(If this reads like an ad/as spam, that's not how it's meant. I just thought some of you would be interested) 0 -
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Never knew this thread existed. My story is yes, I have suffered from depression since the fine old age of 14. Well got diagnosed at 14 after a pretty serious suicide attempt. Got put on Prozac on and off for 3 years. Used to self harm pretty badly. Had a few more attempts between the ages of 14 and 17. Thanks be to f*ck I snapped out of it.
It's been a year since I've taken my last batch of meds and I'm delighted
I got a prescription in November for em but decided against taking them and that was the best decision of my life. Decided I wasnt gonna let it control me anymore.
I was told I had major depression that occurs in episodes. Was pretty horrific tbh. I did some things I was never proud of but at the same stage it was an excellent learning curve for me. I found out who I was by recovering and I found out my true friends. (I have to thank SarahBeep! for being excellent supporting me through it as well Seriously, she saved my life on more than one occasion.)
While I was recovering (about a year after I tried my attempt) my best friend hung herself. Highly traumatic for all of us, especially me as her and I were f*cked up together. Whats worse was she made national news over it.
To anyone suffering out there, trust me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just make sure you've a strong support network and the will to drag yourself out of it. I let it control me for too long because I felt safe having it. Now, my life is almost perfect. I have a fantastic group of friends to whom I love dearly, an amazing boyfriend who's gonna support me, the best parents in the world who mainly helped me recover and I have a great life in college.
I'm now healthy, happy and recovered but yet there is no promise I wont relapse. But heres to hoping I wont! At the fine old age of 18, I can now look back and laugh at my mistakes and my depression. Wasn't funny at the time but hell, it's a great learning curve as long as you can pull yourself out of it. Just don't let it define you and take over you and control you. I nearly died and if I hadnt been caught I can promise you I wouldnt be here today.
Remember, if you are depressed, get help asap. Life can never be so bad that you need to end it. I learned that the hard way. The road to recovery is long, but its well worth it if you can learn to love and feel human again.
Now I'm gonna stop rambling as I could go on for forever on this topic
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I got this info from the same place SarcFair did so it's definitely not a scam or anything and a really good cause.I've my story sent in, not sure if it was what they were looking for or not,but I'm glad to help.Seeing as some of you are openly talking about experiences of mental illness here, why not share it? If you're interested, you just email Mark Byrne at mbyrne@seechange.ie If you want more information, it's all there on the website http://seechange.ie/index.php/make-a-ripple. The website doesn't lauch til May... 4th, I think, so you've probably still got time to get them in for the launch, if not (or if you'd prefer not to email that guy at all), you can definitely post them once the site has launched!
(If this reads like an ad/as spam, that's not how it's meant. I just thought some of you would be interested)
Well,My experiences are fairly documented in this thread.I can honestly say that right now is the happiest I have ever been in my life,ever.It's one of the main reasons I was so active on boards was people I could share my problems with and I could maybe help with theirs.
It's only now I'm realising how truly depressed I was,I knew it was serious as I've lost most of my family to suicide but I always had a small feeling it was only in my head or I felt it was worse than it was,that's one of the reasons I never said anything.
After getting more informed I see how dangerous my situation was,I was one of those silent cases you hear of;seemed relatively happy on the outside,I can remember keeping myself away from all the things people have mentioned;Self harm,drug abuse.Not to pass any judgement on those things,but I thought it was too easy,there was too much chance someone would notice if I presented symptoms,it was a conscious choice for fear someone would help me.In a sick kind of way I was afraid of being helped,I didn't deserve it,I wasn't worth being helped.
I lived with suicidal thoughts for months,for an entire summer it took hours to get out of bed,I'd sleep only a few hours and wake up around 6,I'd spend 4 hours telling my self there was no point getting out of bed.I had the whole thing planned out;I wasn't going to take any chances with pills or anything,drowning in a lake miles from a road was for me,no chance I'd be found.But I never did it,a combination of wonderful people here on boards,a fear of destroying my family after all they've been through[I would have made suicide #4] and the thought of death being an escape from these horrible feelings,i deserved to sit in misery not to get away from it at all.This carried on for most of the last 6 years.
It's a miracle I could never man up and actually do it,but I never did.
I'm glad I didn't though.I used to say people should hold on that everything would get better,but I never really believed it.
Now,I'm in college doing a degree I love and have met the girl of my dreams.Please,don't lose hope and thing always turn out well in time.I've experienced some horrible things in my life and came out the other side.
Problems are only as big as you think they are.
-Alan
As always,I'm just a PM away if anyone needs me0 -
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KnifeWRENCH wrote: »Sometimes I wonder if there are people on this earth that are just so fundamentally damaged or pathetic that they simply don't deserve to be happy. My instinct is to say that that's bollocks, because I believe that the universe is a cold, random, uncaring place and there's no such thing as karma or people getting what they deserve. But I still can't help thinking that if I can't make myself happy, even when my life is a walk in the park compared to so many others, then I don't deserve to be.
I know exactly how you feel. Even though it does seem so ridiculous when I think about it rationally, at the back of my head there's that little voice that says "Shauna, you suck. Why on earth should you be happy?". But I suppose that's all part of being depressed.
That's the sort of stuff I work on in the CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) sessions - thinking errors and stuff like that. This is a list of the thinking errors that can occur - it was so funny when i was handed the sheet with that list the first day, cuz I was just like "yep do that, and that, and that..." all the way down 0 -
KnifeWRENCH wrote: »If everyone doesn't work out though.......ugh, I don't even want to think about it. I've spent too long getting used to disappointment, and having my life full of people who'll eventually just end up letting me down (yours truly being the biggest culprit there, of course :rolleyes:) The weird thing is part of me never wants to get better. I have this victim complex where I basically thrive on people feeling sorry for me. And when I see someone with worse problems than I do (i.e. about 99% of the people on this planet) I can't help but feel a little resentful that MY problems aren't as big and therefore I've lost the right to complain. It's a stupid, selfish, twisted mindset....but one that's always there. Plus, there's the fact that if I'm healthy and not depressed, then who or what do I blame when shít goes wrong in my life? For me, being depressed is almost like having an excuse for achieving nothing in life; again, stupid twisted mindset but it's what comes out every so often
I had that exact same feeling for AGES. I loved being labeled the girl who had depression because I felt it defined me as a person and nobody else could take that away from me. I was that person that loved getting sympathy and attention because I could use it to my advantage (part of me still does xD) Eventually I just grew to getting sick of feeling miserable and down the whole time and relying on drugs to make me feel better. Also the fact I wanted to lead a normal life without my parents breathing down my neck about me not being able to cope. People yelling at me also helped
You'll soon snap out of it once your ready. Just takes time for you to accept that your better than you give yourself credit for and people will love you with or without your depression. Being able to relabel myself as the happy crazy loveable girl who loves fairies and mythical creatures was the best day of my life. So I still have a definition for myself. It just happens to be a way cooler one that people prefer. :cool:
Hope you get better soon though Were all here if you need us! 0 -
Join Date:Posts: 28675
IHeartChemistry wrote: »Hope you get better soon though Were all here if you need us!
This +1.
As for me?
I've been feeling good for a while now. I can't think of any time I've felt depressed since this thread was started. Prior to that I'd gone through an awful six months, inside my own head at least.
Tonight though, I felt something different, something better. For a long time now I've felt that I just didn't get excited about anything. I'd always be calm. It didn't matter if it was Christmas eve, exam time, people's birthdays, anything. I just didn't feel the nervous excitement I thought should be normal with big events.
I felt it tonight for the first time in ages. Was playing a soccer match, the last league game of the season. There was some comment in the local paper that we might be promoted if we won our last game and finished 3rd. We still don't know if it's true, but we won anyway. As the game was starting I could feel myself shivering, had to remind myself to breathe slowly, had to make an effort to keep focussed. That was before we even had a lead to defend! It was a nice feeling though. I used to get it before every game when I was younger/before I started going through less-than-happy spells. 0 -
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I've started using this program in the link below. It's supposed to teach you cognitive behaviour therapy skills or something if you're prone to bouts of feeling down, depression or forms of anxiety. It kind of assesses your thought patterns and teaches you to turn them around. I've found it helpful so far. Hopefully it works somewhat for me and for the good people of C&H.
www.moodgym.anu.edu.au0 -
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flyswatter wrote: »As a man, I can understand where Ginja is coming from having never touched that stuff myself but yeah I agree with your sentiment entirely, it isn't easy at all. Did you take drugs to escape from your problems? Was it the drugs that triggered the psychosis? If you don't mind me asking of course. Also begs the question if self harm is a female thing mainly. I tried it and didn't see the point in doing it. I knew about hitting an artery and how dangerous that can be, reading information like that throughout my teens helped save me in a way but I guess I just never wanted to go that far.
Of course it's not a female thing!
That's like saying depression is a female thing or something, it's ridiculous to say. If a person is self harming there's obviously a reason for it, regardless of gender. It's a way to hold some control over something in your life, it helps to make something feel normal. If everything else is going wrong, it's something to turn to in that situation. 0 -
Of course it's not a female thing! That's like saying depression is a female thing or something, it's ridiculous to say. If a person is self harming there's obviously a reason for it, regardless of gender. It's a way to hold some control over something in your life, it helps to make something feel normal. If everything else is going wrong, it's something to turn to in that situation.
Fair enough Noel, but its not something I noticed being in hospital for 3/4 months and afterwards as an outpatient on 2/3 recovery programmes. There were several guys in those groups, this was during summer mainly, so t shirts and shorts were a regular thing, no visible scars. Not saying it doesn't happen, I didn't notice that anyway, maybe men deal with it differently? I've never been in pieta house, is there more women than men there who self harm, very interested to know this.0 -
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Ah, the $1,000,000 question......What's getting me down? Nothing. And everything. I can't define it, and I don't know what I can change to make life any better for myself.flyswatter wrote: »What's getting you down about your life?
This gives me an excuse to use one of my favourite song lyrics: "If I knew where I was going, I would already be there." - Smashing Pumpkins "The Aeroplane Flies High"
Sort of. Had one appointment with a behavioural therapist, am going back in June. Didn't inspire a whole lot of confidence tbh; all I got from it was a spiel about how suicide is "cowardly and selfish" :rolleyes: I reckon they saw me as someone who didn't need to be there; that happened before with a counsellor. Made me lose faith in mental health services quite a bit.Are you getting therapy also?
On the upside, I've been seeing a (different) counsellor for the past few months and I find her really easy to talk to.
On a completely unrelated note, I love that film.There's already a huge amount of gender bias when it comes to mental illness, particularly in self harm cases where's this long held stereotype of the self harmer being fragile young women a la Girl, Interrupted.
But the gender bias thing is something that's slowly being eroded, I think. The more educated people become about mental illness, the more likely that gender bias and assumptions like that gradually become less assumed.flyswatter wrote: »What I'm saying here is that I believe men are more likely to self harm in different ways. Are men not more likely to take out their frustration in other ways like through aggression or worse just holding it in and not telling anyone? That's why I've been encouraging men like me with my illness to open up because it's not something men like to do in fairness. 4 times as many women report self harm like cutting. Women are also a lot better at expressing emotions than men and opening up.
Does this have a knock on effect through the suicide rate being higher for men?
Getting back into very personal stuff again: I've never "properly" self-harmed. I've thought about it. But never did it. Simply because I have such a low pain threshold. There have been times, when I'm feeling really really down, when I consider myself weak and pathetic for NOT self-harming; I basically think to myself "You can't even hurt yourself correctly. You're too chicken to take a little pain. You're pathetic." And I'm fully aware of how serious self-harm is: I know someone who did it before and felt so terrified and concerned for them. I know it's not something that anyone should brag about or be proud of......yet my twisted little mind will say "They can do it. Why can't you? You're chickenshít."
...........God, even just reading that back, I hate the way my mind works at times!
On a similar note, I've never personally abused drugs but have gotten drunk by myself on a number of occasions; it became a regular thing during certain bleak periods last year (around this time of year, actually). I also started smoking a lot more; normally I don't smoke and would only occasionally have one or two on a night out or something, but the attraction of doing something that was somewhat harmful (and the fact it gave me something to do when bored) made it more attractive. I reckon I have a healthy relationship with alcohol now, and I stopped habitually smoking quite easily. It's not comparable to serious self harm but if things took a major turn for the worse I suspect my relationship with alcohol would start becoming worrying again...........0 -
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