Derogatory posts against gay people

Reflector

I just wanted to start a thread about this. I've been using boards regularly for near on a year now. I find it very useful for information and enjoy the discussions in After hours and other forums.

When I first started posting I found myself getting in trouble and in some cases getting banned from certain forums for comments which were seen as abuse. I didn't mean these comments and sure enough I learnt what was acceptable and what wasn't.

Anyway over the last year I have come across numerous threads that address the issue of homosexuality. Now I know there is an LGB forum but sure enough threads find their way into other places as would be expected as many gay people would be posting in all forums but I have found that there is a huge amount of derogatory comments in these threads. Now I couldn't care less as I've been around and I've accepted who I am but I am sure that there are many young teenage people who may not have accepted who they are and when they read comments like "caught the ghey" and "bums to the wall" it is sure to make them feel even more alienated and ostracized. One thread recently has numerous comments like this I think it is "people who are gay who you didn't think would be gay"

I am all for free speech but hateful comments should not be tolerated and it is comments like this that really taint peoples views of Irish society and I know for sure that we lose many young Irish men every year simply because they cannot accept who they are. I would put these comments up with racism, sexism and they only serve to fuel an ignorant attitude that seems to be rife within the Irish population.

Now I know many people will think I am being dramatic, but believe me having grown up with these comments, everytime you hear the word f*ggot it cuts right to the bone and keeps chipping away at your self confidence until you feel worthless. I really believe that these comments should be moderated and that anything resembling homophobia like any other type of hateful speech should be removed from boards to make it a place that everyone can use.

cheers,
Ciaran

4zn76tysfajdxp

Moved from After Hours.

D

If you come across a post you think is not appropriate then use the "report post" button. It at the bottom left of every post. This will highlight it to the moderators.

Dudess

They seem to be in jest though. My best friend is gay and gets a big laugh out of awfully homophobic stuff when it's in a humorous/ironic context.

GLaDOS

Dudess wrote: »

They seem to be in jest though. My best friend is gay and gets a big laugh out of awfully homophobic stuff when it's in a humorous/ironic context.

Same as this, protecting it too much is as bad as abuse sometimes, as you're making it out to be something that ha to be taken very seriously as opposed to something we casually accept. As with all things with sexual undertones, there are going to be illy jokes about it.

AckwelFoley

i think we should protect the gays at all cost.

They're fragile and have no mind of their own and need protection from the animals of the world internet that would be so horrible as to use the phrase "caught the ghey"

We have rules that protect the gays from abuse, we dont have rules for common sence unfortunatley

Reflector

it's not about protecting the gays, it's about tolerating an attitude that is endemic in Irish culture that picks out a minority and uses them as some sort of punching bag.
remarks against a religion or women or black people would not be tolerated, I'm kind of done with boards now in a recreational sense but I just wanted to express my view on the matter.
cheers

Dudess

But Reflector, it's not serious.

Stuff that's blatant hate-mongering gets clamped down on here - Boards is often accused of being too PC.

AckwelFoley

Reflector wrote: »

it's not about protecting the gays, it's about tolerating an attitude that is endemic in Irish culture that picks out a minority and uses them as some sort of punching bag.
remarks against a religion or women or black people would not be tolerated, I'm kind of done with boards now in a recreational sense but I just wanted to express my view on the matter.
cheers

Relfector, i was been sarcastic.

I think what dudess said covers what i mean, hate mongering of personal attacks or blatant racist attacks are clamped down upon on boards.

Idiotic comments like.."that fag" pertaining to a poster in a malicious way "or i hate ******s" will not be allowed by mods or other members for that matter

Nevyn

Reflector wrote: »

it's not about protecting the gays, it's about tolerating an attitude that is endemic in Irish culture that picks out a minority and uses them as some sort of punching bag.
remarks against a religion or women or black people would not be tolerated, I'm kind of done with boards now in a recreational sense but I just wanted to express my view on the matter.
cheers

All you can do is report the posts and keep doing so, so that the pattern can be seen by others.

CrazyRabbit

I like to see the homophobic posts on boards.ie. Make it easier to spot the idiots.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Reflector wrote: »

remarks against a religion or women or black people would not be tolerated

I bet if you looked hard enough you would find examples from every minority (especially white males, may I add) claiming that they're the only ones against whom joking about is tolerated on this site. It seems that for all of our differences, a persecution complex is what we all have in common.

Why can't we all just get along?

TheZohanS

If you really want to see peoples attitudes towards gay people and how we moderate gay comments read this thread.

Ziggurat

I get the feeling that this is AH being talked about (that is where I'd see most of the jovial comments). People joke about it all the time and it's no big deal.
Believe me, there's a big difference between joking and actually making hateful comments.

Look, I grew up being called a lot of things but you have to move on. When you're a kid, well people are immature - they do pick up on differences and will castigate people who are different. When you grow up you put that part of your life behind you. Most people aren't that immature any more and you're still above those that are.

Hannah Long Variant wrote: »

Why can't we all just get along?

True, indeed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z40NhAgNbnM

Elephant Vagina

OP is a bum ghey.

Zaph

Elephant Vagina wrote: »

OP is a bum ghey.

Permabanned for trolling

Wibbs

Reflector wrote: »

remarks against a religion or women or black people would not be tolerated,

You reckon? Try being an open Catholic in AH. Hell any type of Christian or Religious person. You'll get a fair amount of "vigourous" replies by the "I dont believe in fairy tales" brigade. Not just in AH either. Women? Eh again look at many threads on various bits of Boards and you'll find both subtle and overt misogyny. Black people? Not specifically, but you'll find posts about Nigerians/Foridners/Travellers/etc. In fact pick your poison and if your antennae are up you'll pick it up. It's like if you buy a new red car, you suddenly notice all the other red cars on the road.

Is this an issue? Well its a reflection of the society we all live in, but its a lot more heavily modded than society. Should it be completely stamped out? Good luck with that TBH. And it's a hard line to draw. Where do you stop? IMHO the existing line while not ideal is pretty damn good.

WindSock

Perhaps there are gay people reluctant to report posts or challenge derogatory posts as they are not yet 'out' or want to be labelled as being 'gay'.

I know myself I am guilty of using the word gay in a derogatory sense. I used to use it to take the piss out of people who use it in a teenage sort of voice, and now it has crept into my vocabulary. I see it as the word changing it's meaning like it did before. However if this offends most gay people I will try and not use it.

tbh

Slidey

WindSock wrote: »

Perhaps there are gay people reluctant to report posts or challenge derogatory posts as they are not yet 'out' or want to be labelled as being 'gay'.

I know myself I am guilty of using the word gay in a derogatory sense. I used to use it to take the piss out of people who use it in a teenage sort of voice, and now it has crept into my vocabulary. I see it as the word changing it's meaning like it did before. However if this offends most gay people I will try and not use it.

I too am guilty of this and not just on here.

It is however something which I am trying to change, it is a bad habit I a have fallen into.

Reflector

WindSock wrote: »

Perhaps there are gay people reluctant to report posts or challenge derogatory posts as they are not yet 'out' or want to be labelled as being 'gay'.

I know myself I am guilty of using the word gay in a derogatory sense. I used to use it to take the piss out of people who use it in a teenage sort of voice, and now it has crept into my vocabulary. I see it as the word changing it's meaning like it did before. However if this offends most gay people I will try and not use it.

ok fair enough, then I do encourage people to report posts and I know that you guys probably think I am over sensitive but I like jokes if they are genuinely funny then fair enough and I can take a bit of slagging but there is a sinister side to this and some people can say hateful things even though they mean them as jokes.
I suppose that it needs to be dealt with on a case by case basis. I know its hard to regulate a forum but to be honest there are other places where it is far more important to stamp out this type of behaviour and that is secondary schools.
Cheers for the feedback, I will report particularly bad posts if I see them.

Wibbs

Reflector wrote: »

I like jokes if they are genuinely funny then fair enough and I can take a bit of slagging but there is a sinister side to this and some people can say hateful things even though they mean them as jokes.

True but one persons joke is anothers hateful comment too. Plus like I said it's what your focus is. And like I said any religious type here could well be forgiven for thinking they're being directly insulted.

Take any thread outside of spirituality where someone posits a religious viewpoint(unless its hip and esoteric. That's semi ok of course) and look at the comments from their viewpoint. Comments like believing in fairytales, being associated with child molestation, being delusional etc. Deeply insulting guff to someone who is religious. Swap religious with women/gay/foridners and there would be uproar and bannings aplenty. Indeed along with elements of misogyny they're a much higher target than the gay community. IMHO of course. Why? Because they're an easy target and more and more are less and less religious. Certainly Catholic anyway. So much so that I think half the time people dont see any insult as they're not the butt of it. Could be part of the "Ghey" thing too. People just dont see it as they dont have to live it.

Then we have people of a viewpoint who over react to every thing. See insult in everything and have an axe to grind. It is a very fine line in a lot of cases. BTW I'm not saying you're doing this. Not at all, as you certainly coming across with a measured and non hysterical point. A point I have much agreement with too. Particularly with regard to education in schools and such.

As for Windsocks point about maybe gay people dont report for various reasons. I'm not sure I buy that really. Ive reported racist/anti religious/misogynistic stuff and I'm a white agnostic man.

Then again I'm a tad cynical. While overt racism is frowned upon, its scary and sad to here and see how much that goes on in daily life. Like the poor I think this guff will always be with us and all we can do is keep the muppets and the ignorance to a minimum. Actually this thread you started and threads like it do help I think. Little by little.

One of the things I like about this site is the relative lack of cyber bullying common online. Very common and Boards is a helluva way ahead on that score. I agree though, it can be improved.

DeVore

This is the same issue as we have had on everything from Imigration to Feminism to coarse language.

If you make a better society, I'll reflect it

What I can/should *do* about it is hard to say.... The best answer we have come up with is "muddle through trusting to our judgement". Overt hate speech wont be tolerated but I dont want to get into thought-crime terrritory with explicit proactive control on it (and subsequently other minorities).

DeV.

auerillo

DeVore wrote: »

This is the same issue as we have had on everything from Imigration to Feminism to coarse language.

If you make a better society, I'll reflect it

What I can/should *do* about it is hard to say.... The best answer we have come up with is "muddle through trusting to our judgement". Overt hate speech wont be tolerated but I dont want to get into thought-crime terrritory with explicit proactive control on it (and subsequently other minorities).

DeV.

Thats a brave decision.I've noticed often that Gay guys overreact and are over sensitive to what they see as criticism, so hats off to you for not doing that.

marco_polo

auerillo wrote: »

Thats a brave decision.I've noticed often that Gay guys overreact and are over sensitive to what they see as criticism, so hats off to you for not doing that.

*Facepalm*

Thats a mighty large brush you are using there

Nevyn

DeVore wrote: »

This is the same issue as we have had on everything from Imigration to Feminism to coarse language.

If you make a better society, I'll reflect it

What I can/should *do* about it is hard to say.... The best answer we have come up with is "muddle through trusting to our judgement". Overt hate speech wont be tolerated but I dont want to get into thought-crime terrritory with explicit proactive control on it (and subsequently other minorities).

DeV.

So boards is merely a reflection of society in general?

I disagree, given the types of demographics this site has predominately had over the years I have expected boards.ie to be better then then that, it has shown it's self to be better then that and if merely reflecting society is what the site is now about then, a lot of people will find the will opt of of boards as they did society in general.

Frankly I expect better of boards and I don't think I am wrong to do so.

WindSock

Wibbs wrote: »

As for Windsocks point about maybe gay people dont report for various reasons. I'm not sure I buy that really. Ive reported racist/anti religious/misogynistic stuff and I'm a white agnostic man.

I agree that many people don't tolerate homophobism, racism etc however I find the people most likely to report and challenge issues are those that are directly affected by them.

Using myself as an example, a lot of users assumed I was a dude until I started to become more vocal on AH :pac:


There is less stigma attached in our society to being an ethnic minority, feminist, religious person than there is being gay. Especially if you are not comfortably out yet. In my opinion.

johnnyskeleton

Zaph wrote: »

Permabanned for trolling

I know you're just doing your job, but I think you might have just gotten rid of one of the better examples of trolling. He did, after all, cause the potatoe famine.

Sarky

He started off in TCN with porn. Not even good porn. He wasn't that great.

Regarding the topic, I always thought the aim of this site was to change things like society, not reflect it. I mean, have you seen society lately? It's rubbish!

Tar.Aldarion

where did he post it? I must deal with it >_>


Oddly enough the only people I know who say gay..or ghey in a derogatory fashion more than me are gay themselves. :-o

Sarky

Me too. There's a lot to be said for that attitude. Embracing an insult makes it less fun to throw at people. If enough people do that, the original jerks give up and the insult becomes something like a badge of honour. I imagine it requires you to be happy in your own skin to work, so it's not really a viable solution for those who are nervous or scared about coming out, at least not on its own. Boards can and should help that where possible, shouldn't it?

And the porn wasn't special, totally softcore. It's probably still on youtube it's so tame.