No Friends. Why Me?

DigiGal

Hiya
Just thought it would be good to ask in this forum as I don't want to annoy people in PI with trivial stuff.

So I'm in Art college since September. I had a good few friends in school, I wasnt popular or anything but I wasn't totally alone. It was mostly because I moved schools and joined late and didn't have much in common with the other girls.

Anyway. I was always told I'd have piles of friends in college and it was a social awakening of sorts but I've none. I have one or 2 people I chat with but no mates.

I was given advice to

• Join Soc's
• Text ppl and invite them out, dont wait for them to invite you
• Talk to people in lectures etc

I tried them all and it hasn't worked. Im in a small college and societies are really small and mostly inactive. Is it to late in the year to try to make friends?

Dull and Boring

Hi DigiGirl

We all struggle to fit in sometimes. Start with the few u already know...ask them if they want to go out some time. Ask them about something that was on TV the night before or something topical on the news, that way you can get to know their viewpoints and bond with them.

For people you don't know, just sit down beside someone new, preferably someone who's also sitting alone and strike up a conversation...maybe just ask for a pen or ask the time or something like that.....

Hope it works out for you. If you want I'll be your online friend?!!:)

PCPhoto

goto some of the boards meets ..... find the forum for your college and make new boardsie friends in your college !!

ps. The Ladies Lounge drinks are coming up...you are already friends (online) with some of them..... time to put faces to names... and you'll make more friends after a night out with Boardsies.

DigiGal

I've tried the asking them to go out thing...doesn't seem to work they just dont text back.
I'l try to talk to some new people on the field trip this week though

DigiGal

PCPhoto wrote: »

goto some of the boards meets ..... find the forum for your college and make new boardsie friends in your college !!

ps. The Ladies Lounge drinks are coming up...you are already friends (online) with some of them..... time to put faces to names... and you'll make more friends after a night out with Boardsies.

We dont have one unfortunately

Yeah was looking into going to that.I'll have a think about it, I have this terrible feeling i've something to do that day lol

Dull and Boring

Have u any cousins or neighbours or friends from school that could come visit and you could go out with them and make new friends or run into some students from your college on the night out?

DigiGal

Dull and Boring wrote: »

Have u any cousins or neighbours or friends from school that could come visit and you could go out with them and make new friends or run into some students from your college on the night out?

Em...I could ask. I know everyone goes to C.U.N.T in Crawdaddy. I was always afraid to just turn up.

PCPhoto

DigiGal wrote: »

We dont have one unfortunately

Yeah was looking into going to that.I'll have a think about it, I have this terrible feeling i've something to do that day lol

why not ask to start one - who knows there could be others out there ....but no forum for them ?

as for the boards meet .... lucky its not the DAYtime we'll be meeting up ...lol.... drinkies at night !

DigiGal

Haha, I actually have an 18th b-day party that night but I was never too fond of the person in question, might cancel

ANXIOUS

Have you gone to any college socials or anything? Or has your college got any class rep system this is a good way to make friends. You should deco try go along to the ladies lounge meet up.

DigiGal

ANXIOUS wrote: »

Have you gone to any college socials or anything? Or has your college got any class rep system this is a good way to make friends. You should deco try go along to the ladies lounge meet up.

Ah yeah, I've gone to every single one
Its not like I dont put myself out there.

They do but They've already been chosen. Maybe next year

ep71

my gf or ex gf as it is now is having the exact same problem, first year in college, living with a girl from home and a few randomers. doesnt like the girls she's living with and the girl from home has a new boyfriend and spends all her time at his house.

PCPhoto

if you goto the ladies lounge theres another girl who posted a similar thread ... you can both meet up and see if you can become friends.

Heres a link

miss5

Hi OP, i'm starting college next year and i know moving away from family and
friends can be quite daunting. Some of my friends have had a similar experience
struggling to fit in. I'd suggest you try facebook perhaps you would meet people from your college. If your living away from home throw a house party with some of the
people from your class or host a study night where you could work on projects etc
together. Also if theres someone you feel particularly comfortable with explain how your feeling and i'm sure they would be glad to help you integrate. If you have a college gym
maybe take a class such as yoga it's a great way to meet new people. Don't stress
about it i'm sure it will work out!

DigiGal

miss5 wrote: »

Hi OP, i'm starting college next year and i know moving away from family and
friends can be quite daunting. Some of my friends have had a similar experience
struggling to fit in. I'd suggest you try facebook perhaps you would meet people from your college. If your living away from home throw a house party with some of the
people from your class or host a study night where you could work on projects etc
together. Also if theres someone you feel particularly comfortable with explain how your feeling and i'm sure they would be glad to help you integrate. If you have a college gym
maybe take a class such as yoga it's a great way to meet new people. Don't stress
about it i'm sure it will work out!

Thats some really good advice! I just started a random facebook chat with someone from college

Dr_Phil

DigiGal wrote: »

I've tried the asking them to go out thing...doesn't seem to work they just dont text back.
I'l try to talk to some new people on the field trip this week though

Don't push. Let it go. The more you want and try to get something - the less chances you have. Live your life and you'll be picked. If not, come back in a month and tell us.

I am an antisocial cnut myself and I recently really hate going out or interact with people in any way - obviously after work - I have to at work for obvious reasons. But they keep coming, texting, mailin and calling me. I'm sick of them. Worked for me, may work for you.

DigiGal

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Don't push. Let it go. The more you want and try to get something - the less chances you have. Live your life and you'll be picked. If not, come back in a month and tell us.

I am an antisocial cnut myself and I recently really hate going out or interact with people in any way - obviously after work - I have to at work for obvious reasons. But they keep coming, texting, mailin and calling me. I'm sick of them. Worked for me, may work for you.

Well I definitely think I should listen to you after all you are Dr Phil.


Thats very good advice though, thanks a mill

miss5

DigiGal wrote: »

Thats some really good advice! I just started a random facebook chat with someone from college

That's fantastic, i'm really glad for you. Added the college i was going to attend on my facebook and began chatting with 8 different people within a fortnight.
Once you make a couple of good contacts you'll be fine!

Dr_Phil

DigiGal wrote: »

I should listen to you after all you are Dr Phil.

Well then, off the record: you have to realise that 90% of society are fools. Empty, two-faced puppets that don't care about anything but themselves. They also like techno/disco and get excited about Colin Farrell and Lady Gaga. Their only life and entertainment is to go out, get drunk, come back, survive to the next weekend, go out, get drunk, come back....

Sometimes its worth to get to know someone from the "outside". 10% is still a lot, you will get your folks, seriously, don't worry.

Misha0

Making friends takes time. So don't rush.. In time you will find a friends for keep. To be able to make new friend you should be approachable. A single smile will do..

amacachi

Get used to enjoying your own company, that's how I cope with being alone in college/bus 10-12 hours a day and 23 hours a day during the holidays. :pac:

experiMental

amacachi wrote: »

Get used to enjoying your own company, that's how I cope with being alone in college/bus 10-12 hours a day and 23 hours a day during the holidays. :pac:

Yea, amacachi can second my 9am to 9pm college days spent in library or studio.

DigiGal: You're in Art College, a breeding ground for egotistic f*cks. Some of them are too full of themselves to make friends. However, others are just amazing craic, and they are not that hard to find. Just go to various exhibitions, the ones who dare to exhibit their work are always good people to be with, even if they have a rockstar attitude.

morningpeasant

Which art college are you in? Did you move away or are you living at home?
First of all, don't feel bad about not having made friends yet, I'm sure there are other people on your course who feel the same way, they just aren't showing it.

Lia_lia

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Well then, off the record: you have to realise that 90% of society are fools. Empty, two-faced puppets that don't care about anything but themselves. They also like techno/disco and get excited about Colin Farrell and Lady Gaga. Their only life and entertainment is to go out, get drunk, come back, survive to the next weekend, go out, get drunk, come back....

Harsh.

unreggd

Lia_lia wrote: »

Harsh.

But unfortunately, kinda true

jw297

Don't lose hope! I found starting college really hard, it seemed like everyone already knew someone (which wasn't the case at all, but all the shy people are too shy to talk to each other, never mind break into an established group!)
I ended up getting to know people through doing assignments together, I know its probably different in art college but maybe you can get chatting to people about projects and go from there? I find that I make friends easier when I can chat to people individually or in small groups, rather than out in nightclubs etc.
Is there any activity that you are interested in that you could do outside of college to expand the horizons a bit?
I know this isn't much consolation right now, but I am now totally out of touch with the people I spent time with in the first three years of college, and some of my closest friends now are people that I was in the same specialisation with since we shared common interests. I was also very lucky with flatmates and made a couple of very good friends that way.
I would agree with what someone else said about not pushing it, if someone doesn't seem keen to do anything after asking a couple of times then maybe its best to just leave it. I reckon quality is better than quantity when it comes to friendships.

RandolphEsq

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Well then, off the record: you have to realise that 90% of society are fools. Empty, two-faced puppets that don't care about anything but themselves. They also like techno/disco and get excited about Colin Farrell and Lady Gaga. Their only life and entertainment is to go out, get drunk, come back, survive to the next weekend, go out, get drunk, come back....

.

As opposed to . . . ? Enlighten us

Dr_Phil

RandolphEsq wrote: »

As opposed to . . . ? Enlighten us

Should I? Well then: read a book, write a small program, chat with OH about something nice and relaxing (maybe plan holidays), redesign the garden, listen Type O'Negative, upgrade train model set, paint a few Warhammer figures with my son, have a glass of wine with an old friend, configure home server, make backups, hoover the car, watch something different than bloody Avatar (sh1te for masses), go for a jog, take photos, go to the restaurant... Do you really need me to go on, so that you have a few fresh ideas for what to do with your life?

RandolphEsq

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Should I? Well then: read a book, write a small program, chat with OH about something nice and relaxing (maybe plan holidays), redesign the garden, listen Type O'Negative, upgrade train model set, paint a few Warhammer figures with my son, have a glass of wine with an old friend, configure home server, make backups, hoover the car, watch something different than bloody Avatar (sh1te for masses), go for a jog, take photos, go to the restaurant... Do you really need me to go on, so that you have a few fresh ideas for what to do with your life?

Ah yes, constructive, intellectually stimulating activities to pass the time. Ultimately leading to . . . ?

Dr_Phil

RandolphEsq wrote: »

Ah yes, constructive, intellectually stimulating activities to pass the time. Ultimately leading to . . . ?

Happiness - in my case.

RandolphEsq

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Happiness - in my case.

If that is the only point then surely any activity which makes a person happy is worthwhile for them, obviously within reason