Birth Siblings

ajxx

Shortened version of story:

Iv found my birth parents and made contact with birth mother, but birth father died before I made contact... I have found his children's names and located a daughter.

She knows nothing about me, and I dont believe she was close to her father... So just curious what way should I go about contacting her!!! Its not a standard situation so anybody who has similar experience please comment!

kathy finn

hi ajxx
if i was u i would write a letter to my birthsister explaining the situation and include a phone no for her to get back to u. i really don,t think turning up on her doorstep will help, a letter will let her get used to the idea at her own pace and she can contact u when she feels ready.
just because she did not get on with her dad does,nt mean u and her won,t get on.
good luck..........kathy

MJD01

I have found 5 siblings all who were adopted and would not be without them. For one of my brothers I used an intermediatary who went to see him and gave him the facts also checked I had the right person and within 15 mins he phoned me and very shortly after that we meet.
Using a person ffrom outside is a good idea - they an be factual and are there to get the shock and inital emotions out of the way. They can also report back to you so you are not left waiting and wondering. They may say give them 2 weeks or they do not want contact at this stage but with a letter you wonder did it get there - have they replied did it get los in the post - are they not going to reply and you can take my word for it it plays with your emotions and every time the phone rings you jump.
Mary

ajxx

Thank you both for your replies.

I like the letter idea however as Mary stated your left wondering did they get it, will they reply, etc..... furthermore I dont want any undue stress on my birth mother who has been fantastic and who only put me up for adoption as it was geniunely in my best interests... and It may be possible that she may contact her if she gets a letter...

Anyway thank you both and it gives me some food for thought....

kathy finn

hi, send the letter by registered post then u know she got it....kathy