Thought guy was into me - how wrong I Was...

LegacyUser

OK for the past year or so I have known this 'camp' guy to see not personally, he works at a pub/carvery in my local town. I have never spoken to him but I have observed him around the other people he works with etc. So I came to the conclusion he was gay or so to put it. I mean it just seemed so obvious, with the tone of his voice, hanging round with all the girls, giving them hugs etc.

So to give you a history of myself I am a 21 year old gay male, currently single etc. I didn't fancy this guy at first but he grew on me. However one day last August I was having lunch in the bar and he was working at the time (waiter) and so on when he kept making eye contact with me on numerous occasions and holding it. There were many incidents where he made eye contact with me for long periods, quite a serious stare at times but then he started to give me a smile here and there, the last few times he squinted his eyes at me. I have seen him check me out a few times too, one day I had shorts on me and his eyes just lit up when he seen me in them.

So a couple of months passed and this staring and smiling continued, I was just waiting for the right moment to go and talk to him. My work Christmas party was at the same bar and he was out with friends on the same night. I seen him go to the toilets and I knew this was my chance to talk to him, I did and he ignored me - never even looked at me (he did see me) I didn't know what to think, so I ignored him for the rest of the night. Two weeks later I see him again and the same **** with him staring me out of it. I didn't bother to look back.

Last week I was in the local nightclub and I seen him out. I felt really excited and happy when I seen him and my heart skipped a beat, so I go over to him and I said 'Hey' I had abit to drink too but I didn't realise he was in the company of a girl, he just looked at me in shock, he didn't say anything, I quickly fled realising he was holding her hand. I turned around a couple of seconds later and here was him and the girl in an embrace kissing. I was shocked and saddened, I really don't understand WTF is going on here, I was sure he was gay, maybe he is I don't know? Does anybody know what game this guy is playing?

ajxx

Late reply but...

I guess this is a recurring theme in the GLBT community! I had this a few times, and have a few Friends who had similar...

Long story short I guess that while he may be interested there is little point in pursuing it as he is apparently unconfortable with any gay tendancies he has... as someone who identifies as gay (and I dunno if your out) do you really want the stress of a relationship with a questioning guy whose closeted?

If your out and barely know him perhaps no harm asking him while working if he wants to talk or whatever - but when he's already hot and cold do you really need that?

unreggd

You said he stares and squints

maybe he has bad eyesight and didn't actually see you clearly

Also, followin him into the bathroom was a bit seedy IMO

If you like him, talk to him

Too many people do this whole spy "readin the signs" thing

COMMUNICATE!

oisindoyle

Sounds to me like hes gay .But he might not be out to himself yet ,even though u say hes a little camp.
Or maybe hes shy ,it is possible u know.
he may think you're too full on ,who knows??
Only he knows whats going on in his head ,you cannot second guess whats going on with him .
We all have been there,seen a particular girl or guy we like get the smile,the "look" and then wallop we see them kissing another and your heart sinks .
Lifes not easy.
But hey ,see how things go ,for all you know his "girl" could just be his "beard" or maybe he just fancied a kiss.
Good luck

Aard

Gay or not, he sounds like a waste of time.

meteora

Might have just been looking for a tip?

azezil

lol... oh gawd, just because someone looks at you doesn't mean they're gay :rolleyes:
As pointed out above, he could have poor eyesight, looking for a tip, maybe he was wondering why the hell you were staring at him!

Go chat to him if you're that curious, relying on "signs" is pointless, you're interested in him so you're just going to interpret everything he does a a sign of interest in you.

Cabbage Brained

As other posters have said, signals mean nothing. Next time you're in that situation put yourself in a position to make some small talk. It will soon be evident whether he's into you or not, and if he's actually straight or whatever he'll just think you're friendly. Even if he clocks that you're gay he more than likely will just be flattered, but following a dude to the toilet who you've never spoken to is a big no.

azezil

Cabbage Brained wrote: »

As other posters have said, signals mean nothing. Next time you're in that situation put yourself in a position to make some small talk. It will soon be evident whether he's into you or not, and if he's actually straight or whatever he'll just think you're friendly. Even if he clocks that you're gay he more than likely will just be flattered, but following a dude to the toilet who you've never spoken to is a big no.

LOL gawd yeah, jasis. I never talk to anyone in the toilet

foggy_lad

he kept making eye contact with me on numerous occasions and holding it. There were many incidents where he made eye contact with me for long periods, quite a serious stare at times but then he started to give me a smile here and there, the last few times he squinted his eyes at me.

ever think that he was looking at you wondering what the hell you were staring at?

and as for him ignoring you now he has probably found out from someone that you are gay and has ralised you were staring at him all the time and is most likely totally freaked out by this! sounds like he is not gay and has never given you any reason to think he is.