Right.. can I get a ride out of this?

TheZohanS

pennylane22 wrote: »

If she doesn't drink then spending loads of money on her is the only way, would you not try tempting her with champers? What girl can resist a glass of bubbles?

Don't do the enbolded bit, worst advice ever.

Bonito

TheZohan wrote: »

Don't do the enbolded bit, worst advice ever.

I'll second that. She'll just take him for a mug who spoils her. If she doesn't get with you for you then she doesn't deserves gifts and money being spent on her.

Asmodean

Well if you're going to resort to 'Buying' her affection just go out and get a good old hooker instead, less complications ( albeit of the STD ) variety in the long run!

cloneslad

I will be staying in birmingham this weekend while taking part in tough guy in wolverhampton....just send her to me and i will inform her of your awesomeness and legendary status amongst all at boards

00112984

Remark on how she was able to buy such a nice dress in her size. Later, when dancing, tell her she doesn't sweat much for a fat girl.
Just when she's about to cry, lean in and tell her it's ok, you're sure she'll find love eventually...

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

Is brummytom Feeky's alt account?

:pac:

jd007

mendusa wrote: »

Is brummytom Feeky's alt account?

:pac:

OR is Feeky Brummytoms alt a/c?

Gary ITR

Don't do it man... Speaking as somebody who was in essence the 'other man' it's not worth it. Stupid bastard boyfriend will probably propose and you'll end up being out a diamond neckchain that you bought for her birthday.


Or you could just try being nice to her and see where that gets you if all else fails spike her drink

The Nice Jumper

Perhaps invite a friend around one evening and offer this hard-to-please "prom"-date a tag-team tryst, which she will probably hastily accept and engage in vigorously. There's your solution.

mossy1982

Have you tried looking at the 'Dick in a box' video on youtube with Justin Timberlake

geeky

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

Perhaps invite a friend around one evening and offer this hard-to-please "prom"-date a tag-team tryst, which she will probably hastily accept and engage in vigorously. There's your solution.

+1
Have him propose this on the night itself. Of course, if her reaction is horror - you can defend her honour and slap him about a bit. See here for ideas on what you could do without hurting your mate: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=136.

It'll make her grateful , spark a bit of exhilaration, and put the thought of shagging you in her mind. While she tends your wounds (or you tend her sobs) you can move conversation onto this.

Doesn't cost you a dime and is less cliched than drink spiking.

witnessmenow

Just tell her you'll dedicate your 5000th post on boards to her, instant paties around ankles material right there

brummytom

liah wrote: »

You know, I really, really dislike your boards persona. Honestly, it annoys the crap out of me.

You do know that's not intended, don't you? The one way I'm most similar on here to real life is what people think of me; I'm very much a 'marmite' character. Some people, for some unfathomable reason, really like me.

Others, strongly dislike me. I don't mind that, people are entitled to their own opinion; and too be quite honest - I don't blame you liah.

Show her that. Not some silly hairbrained scheme concocted by some people from the internet.

Why not just be like that all the time? Why have to have this fake self up all the time? You're much more likeable when you're being you.

What's 'me'? I was thinking about this today. I act differently on here, when with mates, when with girls, when with my family. Which of those is the real me? Because I really can't decide.

Poccington wrote: »

Why couldn't you just say that from the beginning?

Rather than going down the "Oh dear, I'm in AH let's try to be funny" and posting about getting your end in and making a silly joke about Rohypnol.

If the post I quoted is the real you, stick to it. The boards persona you're playing up to with your OP, is merely an annoyance.

I wasn't 'trying to be funny'; I was just being slightly flippant. You know, I don't sit down and think "right, now to be Brummytom". It's a natural change that seems to occur when I post here, it's not a conscious decision.

TheZohan wrote: »

That's mostly good advice. Also don't be too available, what's scarce is precious.

Heh. I sit next to her in Biology. She left the room yesterday for a bit to get her art folder. When she was out, another girl asked me to come and sit next to her. I did, because I didn't want to sit on my todd. When the girl I like came back, she seemed right put out that I'd moved! :pac:

She was waiting for me at break today with my mates, not for any real reason except to say hi. Made my day

Latchy

brummytom wrote: »

Heh. I sit next to her in Biology. She left the room yesterday for a bit to get her art folder. When she was out, another girl asked me to come and sit next to her. I did, because I didn't want to sit on my todd. When the girl I like came back, she seemed right put out that I'd moved! :pac:

She was waiting for me at break today with my mates, not for any real reason except to say hi. Made my day

Seems like you are getting the balance right Tom

Novella

brummytom wrote: »

You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all

I think I want to go in a limo with you now.

itsallaboutheL

Novella wrote: »

I think I want to go in a limo with you now.

Smell a want off you!! :pac::P:o

Snowie

Seany hit the nail on the head! fist thing is your never going to get layed

secondly become a preast and pray on inocent needy women....

Novella

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

Smell a want off you!! :pac::P:o

I saw that before the edit. :P Watch what you're saying!

itsallaboutheL

Novella wrote: »

I saw that before the edit. :P Watch what you're saying!

hahahaha, twas nicer before the edit!!

pretty-in-pink

approach her from the side so as not to startle her,

then just give her a big full on snog.
careful not to throw up in her mouth. happened to a friend of mine. ah good times......

he still managed to get his bit a couple of weeks later at another party. so if he didn't blow it, I don't see how you can. heck if you're really good she might......;)

Kirnsy

luckyinlove wrote: »

approach her from the side so as not to startle her,

then just give her a big full on snog.
careful not to throw up in her mouth. happened with a friend of mine. ah good times......

he still managed to get his bit a couple of weeks later at another party. so if he didn't blow it, I don't see how you can. heck if you're really good she might......;)

Fyp.

tom if she has a boyf why not leave it until she (inevitably as you say) and him breaks up? That way you wont be seen as the dickhead that she cheated on your man with.

kiss some other hot girl at the prom. because im thinking shes seeing you as a friend or some sort of back up. make a point that you aren't willing to settle for that.


that said you could just feck it and kiss her.


Whatever happens at this prom...make yourself a promise :

the next morning You aren't going to be seen as just friends

just do it.

Bonito

brummytom wrote: »

Heh. I sit next to her in Biology. She left the room yesterday for a bit to get her art folder. When she was out, another girl asked me to come and sit next to her. I did, because I didn't want to sit on my todd. When the girl I like came back, she seemed right put out that I'd moved! :pac:

She was waiting for me at break today with my mates, not for any real reason except to say hi. Made my day

Beautiful Keep playing it like this Actually playing is a stupid way to put it.

Just don't change anything and treat everyday as you handled today :pac:

brianthebard

I think I saw this episode of the in betweeners before all right. As I remember, no one got laid.

pretty-in-pink

tell her how you feel OP
just stick it to her, she'll like it. even if she doesn't feel the same, its always nice to hear someones mad about ya

alwaysadub

There is such a thing as over-thinking and over planning things. Personally i tend to find that things like this happen when i least expect them. Why not just go with the flow,be a good mate to her,and see what happens. If she seems eager,make a move at your prom, if not be a good mate and wait for her to realise what a decent bloke you are.
If her boyfriend is as much of a dick as you say, it shouldn't take her too long.
Oh and i do agree with the people telling you not to be too available-sometimes you don't realise what's in front of you till you think it might be gone!

stepbar

Can't ye all just leave brummytom alone eh?

De hormones are at him

electrogrimey

Fucking great thread Tom. Top notch.

If you don't get it off yer one, there's at least 3 girls who have already been seduced by your posts in this thread, so you'll needing the whipped cream either way.

I'd say keep going the way you're going with her, eventually she'll break up with yer man (considering how young yous are, probably sooner than later), and she'll come to you for help. You'll tell her you liked her the whole time, and knew yer man was a dick. She'll say the same, and you'll have hot, steamy, fumbly virgin sex. Bingo.

By the way, the fuck is a lack?

brummytom

brianthebard wrote: »

I think I saw this episode of the in betweeners before all right. As I remember, no one got laid.

Jay got a handjob though

electrogrimey

brummytom wrote: »

Jay got a handjob though

Maybe you should redirect the limo to bring you on a caravan holiday.

Solvo Slep

brianthebard wrote: »

I think I saw this episode of the in betweeners before all right. As I remember, no one got laid.

Just like every episode of The Inbetweeners then.

brummytom

I absolutely love that show; I watched two last night (the one with their exams; and the prom one.. which just depressed me :pac:)

Armin_Tamzarian

brummytom wrote: »

I absolutely love that show; I watched two last night (the one with their exams; and the prom one.. which just depressed me :pac:)

Please stop calling it the prom.

Seriously though Chief, this sexual frustration of yours is beginning to verge on the dangerous.
Just go and pay for it and be done with it.

bluto63

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Please stop calling it the prom.

Seriously though Chief, this sexual frustration of yours is beginning to verge on the dangerous.
Just go and pay for it and be done with it.

But imagine remembering back to your first time and seeing the face of a coke addicted hooker, rather than this beautiful girl he's after

brummytom

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Please stop calling it the prom.

Seriously though Chief, this sexual frustration of yours is beginning to verge on the dangerous.
Just go and pay for it and be done with it.

Yeah that sexual frustration's waned throughout the thread

It's called a prom, if I called it a 'debs' you'd all whinge at me for being a plastic paddy. What am I meant to call it?!

Kirnsy

brummytom wrote: »

Yeah that sexual frustration's waned throughout the thread

It's called a prom, if I called it a 'debs' you'd all whinge at me for being a plastic paddy. What am I meant to call it?!

THE NIGHT WHEN I GET MY BIT

Abi

brummytom wrote: »

Yeah that sexual frustration's waned throughout the thread

Ah come on, ya can't just give up like that Tom. You will have a great night, but you gotta hatch a new plan. Is there any other (single) girls you like?

Darlughda

Right Brummytom,

Seriously time to man up and hide yer toryboy tendencies.

Go for it.

Otherwise I'll put a gypsy curse on you so you won't get a chance of getting laid till yer 68!:eek:

Now feck off and work yer charm, (and revise some of your more conservative ideology stuff about things while yer at it young fella)

Get a life outwith boards and get laid!

brummytom

Abigayle wrote: »

Ah come on, ya can't just give up like that Tom. You will have a great night, but you gotta hatch a new plan. Is there any other (single) girls you like?

Not in the same way, no

Darlughda wrote: »

Right Brummytom,

Seriously time to man up and hide yer toryboy tendencies.

Go for it.

Otherwise I'll put a gypsy curse on you so you won't get a chance of getting laid till yer 68!:eek:

Now feck off and work yer charm, (and revise some of your more conservative ideology stuff about things while yer at it young fella)

Get a life outwith boards and get laid!

Now wait a minute there.

I've been called some things in my time. Some horrible, vile, disgusting things. But never, ever in my life have I been as appalled at a name before.


TORY?!

weldoninhio

Night will no doubt end with Tom going in for a kiss, getting "what are you doing, i have a boyfriend, i'm always talking to you about him, we are/were just friends."

Darlughda

brummytom wrote: »

TORY?!

Yep, I got the second sight or the iambas forasnai as its called round these parts, and I see you as the next Tory prime minister. But still a virgin.

Captain_Generic

You might just have to suck it up, tell her how you feel, and see how she responds to it on the night, if she's a friend she'll be honest and at least you'll know.


On the other hand its only rape if they find the body

Kirnsy

Captain_Generic wrote: »

You might just have to suck it up, tell her how you feel, and see how she responds to it on the night, if she's a friend she'll be honest and at least you'll know.


On the other hand its only rape if they find the body

Don't tell her.... SHOW HER


seize life by the balls etc.




oh and if they find the body im pretty sure you'd be done for murder as well

brummytom

Darlughda wrote: »

Yep, I got the second sight or the iambas forasnai as its called round these parts, and I see you as the next Tory prime minister. But still a virgin.

Please stop saying it.

Politically, I'm sort of centre;slightly left. So Labour/Lib Dem.

Please not Tory.

cian1500ww

Your actually looking for advice in AH ?? :eek: Are you mad man

Darlughda

brummytom wrote: »

Please stop saying it.

Politically, I'm sort of centre;slightly left. So Labour/Lib Dem.

Please not Tory.

There is still time to escape your destiny, young man, but run, run now, and run fast because when those fates catch up with you....

we'llallhavetea_old

jaysus, some people are so negative on here, i've a good feelin bout this tom, its bloody months away yet, plenty of time to work on it!

Latchy

brummytom wrote: »

Yeah that sexual frustration's waned throughout the thread

Tom , one day in about 5 ,7 years time your going to look back at this thread and go 'Jeeze ' but in a positive way because this will be the reference point for all future sexual adventures /conquests in the life of Brummytom ,sorta like a scrap book of ideas you can hand down .

pretty-in-pink

Darlughda wrote: »

I see you as the next Tory prime minister. But still a virgin.

Aren't they kinda the same thing?

Latchy wrote: »

Tom , one day in about 5 ,7 years time your going to look back at this thread and go 'Jeeze ' but in a positive way because this will be the reference point for all future sexual adventures /conquests in the life of Brummytom ,sorta like a scrap book of ideas you can hand down .

I can just see it:

Dear Diary,

Today I saw the girl I like. I think I'm going to try shag her. But how? I know, I'll ask the wise folks on Boards AH, they're bound to know all about this.


Dear Diary,

Result, got some top notch ideas. Now to implement them


Dear Diary,

She friend-zoned me, all she talks about is her boyfriend.


Dear Diary,

My friend got an industrial sized bottle of chloroform. All may not be lost.


Dear Diary,

I got my hole. Go team tom!


*years later*

Dear Diary,
Jeez, what was I thinking? It's just sex. Wonder what she's doing now? Must look her up

Dear Diary,
I got my hole! Go team tom!

Latchy

luckyinlove wrote: »

*years later*

Dear Diary,
Jeez, what was I thinking? It's just sex. Wonder what she's doing now? Must look her up

Dear Diary,

I got my hole! Go team tom!

Tom left his mark and made a big Impression

shuvly

Let's try and remember what being in school was like...it's a while back for me and I'm sure I'm not the only one...theres the girl in question and the allegedly poor excuse of a bf ...then you have the third party looking on thinking...it should be me...surely we have all been there on both sides, and lived through it. It's not as if the couple are married with a few ankle biters...it's school...it's meant to be fun! So party on Tom..