9 year old entering the teens

Redpunto

I have a 9 yr old and was wondering what other people's 9 year olds do around the house chore wise, their general behaviour when asked to do things or to stop doing things. My child is not expected to do that much but will always moan when asked to do something so much so that I find myself sometimes not bothering to ask him due to the attitude I get back. He can be quite rude and cheeky and often needs to be told to do something a number of times before he will do it. His behaviour is now rubbing off the younger one who is copying his moaning.
Thanks, i would love to hear other people's stories.

Scoobydoobydoo

I wouldn't put up with any moaning, what'll he be like as a teenager if he's like this now?
I've a son in his early teens, and honestly, he hasn't ever moaned about chores - don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure he does it in his head, but wouldn't dare do it out loud because I wouldn't put up with it! The thing is, he knows that there'd be trouble if he moaned because he learned not to give me cheek when he was very young, when I did have to go through little threats and punishments, of removing toys or whatever, and to be honest, I think that's why he does what he's told without question.

From what you're saying, I think your mistake is that you let him off once he starts moaning, so what is he learning? - I'll moan a bit at Mum and I won't have to bother doing anything. Bad lesson you're giving him, I'm sorry!
Nip it in the bud while you can. I'd probably tell him if he's uncooperative, moany, etc. then he's obviously ungrateful for what you provide for him, and if that's the case then he should have less, i.e. games, phone, or whatever it is he has to entertain himself with, since he is dsiplaying so little appreciation. He needs to learn that the world doesn't actually revolve around him, he has responsiblities as a member of the family etc.
No shouting necessary of course, just a sit down, 5 or 10 minute chat, simple and clear. The main thing is that you follow through on your intentions if he pushes you to. Children will push you until you draw the boundaries that they need. You're not asking for anything unreasonable, be strong, calm and clear, and think through what you need to say, and what privileges you'll be removing if need be. You've got to stick to your guns though, and see proper changes over a certain amount of time before returning things to him.

I hope this helps somewhat. I know it's hard, but you definitely need to act now so you all can have an easier life later.

Good luck!

Redpunto

Thanks

Once hes been asked to do something he has to do it, we are very particular with following through and not letting him away with it and he is constantly being reprimanded for the moans but its just not working.:o it causes such hassle now - and when hes a teenager?? thats what im worried about. He has aspergers so obviously this is affecting how hes seeing the world and is not susceptible to "normal" discipline but was hoping there was other 9 year olds like that out there

2SWEET

My 9 year old is exactly the same lately , since hearing from his friends that they don't do any chores at home. I've told him if he can't do whats asked of him without moaning then he won't be allowed any time on his PSP or to watch any telly, he will start a little moan but a look from me or his Dad usually stops him. Don't know how long we'll get away with this one, but at least it works for now!

Kosseegan

Redpunto wrote: »

I have a 9 yr old and was wondering what other people's 9 year olds do around the house chore wise, their general behaviour when asked to do things or to stop doing things. My child is not expected to do that much but will always moan when asked to do something so much so that I find myself sometimes not bothering to ask him due to the attitude I get back. He can be quite rude and cheeky and often needs to be told to do something a number of times before he will do it. His behaviour is now rubbing off the younger one who is copying his moaning.
Thanks, i would love to hear other people's stories.

What a despicable child. He needs firm discipline. You should not ask him to do things. You should tell him. You should take away his bed and make him sleep on a plank. When he stops moaning you can give him back the bed.

2SWEET

Kosseegan wrote: »

What a despicable child. He needs firm discipline. You should not ask him to do things. You should tell him. You should take away his bed and make him sleep on a plank. When he stops moaning you can give him back the bed.

Are you for real?? This is a young child we are talking about, you wouldn't put a dog to sleep on a plank!

homerjay2005

2SWEET wrote: »

Are you for real?? This is a young child we are talking about, you wouldn't put a dog to sleep on a plank!

seems about fair to me...

Hellrazer

Why not give him a few smacks of a Nylon cane aswell while he`s lying on the plank :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Nevyn

Can we please not drag issues from one thread to another and please be mindful of the charter and site rules to post in a civil manner.