Does your baby have a soother?

2SWEET

My 4 month old son hasn't been well the last few days so he's crying a bit more then usual. I have so many people say to me, give his soother and he'll be grand. Well the thing is he doesn't use a soother and neither did my older two. I've gotten so many strange looks when i tell people this, i'm starting to wonder i am the only one not to give my kids a soother, and why do so many people see it odd?

jaggiebunnet

it's not odd at all - and if he hasn't used one before I don't think there is much point at 4 months giving it to him. Both mines had them, one stopped at 9months of his own accord and the other is 19months and still on it although we will wean it off her on her 2nd birthday

cbyrd

my eldest wouldn't take one and my second did but only when she went into her cot at night and she spit it out when she fell asleep, my youngest now 23 days will take it if we're in the car because as i discovered he can't suck his hand when he's got his coat on!!! and he really only rests it on his lips, he hates the car!! :eek: it's not unusual at all though the 'experts' say the sucking motion calms them down.. it's up to you though, if it works peace and quiet but then you have the getting rid of it when they're older, personally whatever makes them happy so i can get stuff done works for me:D

2SWEET

I guess i've been lucky with my 3 kids, i made a decision when i had my first not to give him one, i figured he wouldn't miss what he never had. Thankfully he never cried or got distress enough fo me to change my mind. Had lots of people tell me i was mad, some said i was a brave woman, some even told me i wasn't helping them as they were sure to suck their thumbs when older Well they were so wrong, my older two are 9 and 5 and have never sucked their thumbs.

cbyrd

no mine neither.. i breastfed my 3 and so i think they just don't like the artificial feel:D my middle one was the exception she went on a bottle at 6 weeks and was used to falling asleep on the breast so the soother was just a night-time thing. i hate it when people make you feel bad about decision you make, after all they're your children;) now if i could find a cure for a nailbiting 11 year old!! not stressed just a bad habit

garden

Hi i never used soother at all on ds and would never think anyone strange at all if any did or didn't. I will however be giving one to my new baby, when it arrives as i have just read that apparently dummy sucking reduces the risk of cot death - the study was printed in the BMJ - if anyone is interested in searching for it.

lolly22

My girl is two she's never had a soother. Iv heard to many stories of having to try get rid of them when child gets too old for them.

I bought two before she was born just incase but she never really acted like she needed them even when she was teething, and after a few months she started sucking her thumb's, to this day that's what does her fine when she is sleeping.

Op I wouldnt care what others thought about itor about strange looks, it's not odd, some take them.... some dont, what ever choice you make is usually what you feel is better for you child.

Davidth88

Nature was kind enough to provide two soothers that can't be lost.... stuck on our hands.

Thumbs are there for a reason

January

I was dead against the use of soothers until I had my little one. I didn't even bring one to hospital with me. But my daughter took to sucking my finger and on my fourth day in hospital a midwife recommended a soother as I had been there for an hour and a half with baby on my lap sucking my finger.

She has her soother now and will only take a certain kind. Planning on weaning her off it soon enough though.

lowdenclear

My 5 month old isn't really fussed on them but much prefers sucking on her fingers!

pickarooney

Neither of ours have, have had or will have one. Can't see the point in them really.

silverharp

Davidth88 wrote: »

Nature was kind enough to provide two soothers that can't be lost.... stuck on our hands.

Thumbs are there for a reason

I thought the sentence was going to end with breasts:)

Deliverance

2SWEET wrote: »

My 4 month old son hasn't been well the last few days so he's crying a bit more then usual. I have so many people say to me, give his soother and he'll be grand. Well the thing is he doesn't use a soother and neither did my older two. I've gotten so many strange looks when i tell people this, I'm starting to wonder i am the only one not to give my kids a soother, and why do so many people see it odd?

I was totally against soothers or dummies when my child was born. However it turned out to be a blessing and simply a necessity that my child simply needed it for comfort.

I think the reasoning behind it was she was breast fed initially, this didn't work out as the mother was stressed. The child transitioned to the soother: this was a pain because whenever it fell out she cried. Eventually she found her thumb and it was great because it was a source of comfort to her and still is almost 4yrs later.

I read an interesting paper on this awhile back about the transitions that children go through as babies.

The basis of the paper was that some kids need different comforts after the birth. First they have the mother, when they realise the imperminance of the mother figure then they need a reminder i.e. the soother. When they realise their own hands, they find the thumb. In some cases they transition from the thumb to physical objects outside themselves i.e. soft cuddly things like security blankets or particular toys.

Some kids simply need these object transitions whereas others do not.

I have this paper somewhere in my archives of info. The chap that came up with the theory (proved) name is escaping me at the moment but it is a fascinating read.

Ickle Magoo

Nope, two kids and neither had soothers - not by design, they just didn't take to them. My son was given one in the NICU to improve his suck and he spat it out at every opportunity, much to the hilarity of the nurses there. He spat it out for the last time just before he left hospital and never wanted or needed one since. I tried soothers with my wee girl but she kept spitting it out too so she could suck on her knuckles.

Tilt Gone

My daughter had one up until she was 4-5 years of age. A blessing is what they are. I think there's no harm in a child having one up to a certain point. Mine gave hers to Santa this year, bless her.

Just as well as she's started to lose one or two baby teeth and i've heard it's better to get them of it so it doen't hinder her new teeth coming up.

Kimono-Girl

2SWEET wrote: »

My 4 month old son hasn't been well the last few days so he's crying a bit more then usual. I have so many people say to me, give his soother and he'll be grand. Well the thing is he doesn't use a soother and neither did my older two. I've gotten so many strange looks when i tell people this, i'm starting to wonder i am the only one not to give my kids a soother, and why do so many people see it odd?

strangely enough im sure if you asked enough people they would tell you boys tend not to go for soothers as much as girls do. so im surprised they think its odd for him not to have one, as with everything else with babies it's your choice and at the end of the day when it comes to babies everyone does something someone else thinks is odd!
you should just do what you think is right...

BostonB

No soother and when we decided one night to give baby one they didn't want it. The rest have been easier (so far) and we've not even thought about it since. I find it odd you were asked about it.

Nevyn

I found that older generations seems to think a child which doesn't take a soother is an aberation. My son did take one until he was 18months, my daughter had no intrest what so ever.

2SWEET

BostonB wrote: »

I find it odd you were asked about it.

I's not that i've ever been asked about it, it's more like i've been told on more then one occasion and usually in the supermarket to give him his soother and he'll stop cryin, it's when i tell them he doesn't have one i get the strang looks.
I think your right Thaedydal it is always the older generation.

Moomoo1

Thaedydal wrote: »

I found that older generations seems to think a child which doesn't take a soother is an aberation. My son did take one until he was 18months, my daughter had no intrest what so ever.

with my generation it's the other way round: it's said that soothers discourage babies from breastfeeding. We gave in tonight and gave our 4-day old baby a soother because before that she used to cry at night constantly. She took it and wouldn't let go. But I am worried about whether this was a wise move...

tscul32

Our 2 both got them in their first week as I found they were using me (and not my thumbs) as a comforter. So soothers arrived but I had them gone by 6mths, they weren't hugely into them. I hate seeing people automatically put a soother back in a baby's mouth after it's fallen/been spat out, when teh child is sitting quite happily and not fretting or looking for it.

Das Kitty

I'm actually wondering whether to introduce one in a few weeks' time when my little guy is established withe breastfeeding. There's research to suggest lower incidents of SIDS when using one.

We're taking all the other advice on SIDS risk factors but I really don't want to be getting up in the night to pop the soothed back in once he's sleeping through!

Donna77

our daughter has one, she is 20mths, she only looks for it when she is tired, not well etc, majority of the day she wouldnt want it, but when putting her down at night she takes it.

olddognotricks

Hi, our first had no need on the soother at all, took it alright but would let it pop out and after a few times of popping it back in just left it and he never looked for it, our second did seem to like it but when she started teething full on at about 7-8 months would refuse it or spit it out, I noticed a few nights she went to sleep without it and so left it and never went back.....it all depends on the baby..before we had kids I was def in the no soother for MY kid no way but like a lot of things that changed once they came along......:)

Moomoo1

Moomoo1 wrote: »

with my generation it's the other way round: it's said that soothers discourage babies from breastfeeding. We gave in tonight and gave our 4-day old baby a soother because before that she used to cry at night constantly. She took it and wouldn't let go. But I am worried about whether this was a wise move...

wasn't any need to worry in the end - just two days after I wrote that she started spitting it out at virtually every opportunity (except when she is really really sleepy and about to nod off). She has now even learned to swipe it out of her mouth with her hand - not the sort of dexterity I expected from a 10-day old!

BostonB

One less thing to carry, remember, clean, wean off, can only be good.

Grawns

No. Does any source actually recommend one?

deisemum

Grawns wrote: »

No. Does any source actually recommend one?

Yeah, paeds recommend it for premature babies to help develop their sucking reflex. Studies have shown lower levels of SIDS amongst those using them.

Most dentists and orthodontists that I've worked with would prefer a sucky baby to have used a soother instead of their thumbs, fingers or even a manky blankie because it's normally much easier to get rid of the soother than thumbs.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

deisemum wrote: »

Yeah, paeds recommend it for premature babies to help develop their sucking reflex. Studies have shown lower levels of SIDS amongst those using them.

Most dentists and orthodontists that I've worked with would prefer a sucky baby to have used a soother instead of their thumbs, fingers or even a manky blankie because it's normally much easier to get rid of the soother than thumbs.

Sorry, but you should be careful where you abbreviate

deisemum wrote: »

Yeah, paeds recommend it for premature babies to help develop their sucking reflex.

What type of paeds? Paedophiles or paediatricians? There's quite a differance.


You can argue for and against a child having one. A child could latch on and become very anal. Might talk a lot or very little. I remember something about the "anal" phase of the learning process. I am sure it will come back to me.

deisemum

Oh jaysus I didn't spot that one My head is melted from dealing with a teenager and a crying baby most of the afternoon and evening.

It's a number of years since I was in college and learnt about the anal phase or toilet training phase and from memory it stems from the toilet training experience, where the child often experienced upset or conflict normally with the mother but tries to feel in control so focuses on his bowels at this time.

stovelid

Tried to give him one but I think he kept it in his mouth a sum total of about an hour in his whole life.

If edible content didn't come from it, he just wasn't interested.