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Tar's story.

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  • 31-01-2010 6:53am
    #1
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭


    It was a balmy Autumn's day in Dublin when Tar was to be brought into the world.

    "Oh he's beautiful" cried an attending nurse.
    "Oh isn't she lovely" exclaimed the midwife as the umbilical chord was cut like a man cutting up sausages for a fry up after a hard night of binge drinking.

    "Wait, is it a boy or a girl?", was the question from an exasperated mother having gone through 68 hours of labour to give birth to one of the most precious babies the world would ever know.

    A sudden light shone into the room. A calming light which soothed the occupants of the little hospital room. A voice, no louder than a whisper then spoke and said, "It is whatever you would like it to be".

    The tired woman who had just given birth held her new born baby in her arms and looked lovingly into her/his eyes and said, "I shall name you Tar"

    And with that a new dawning of greatness had begun as Tar's purpose was well and truly underway.

    As Tar began to get older, Tar's mother was foretold a prophecy. The prophecy would involve obtaining the internet, a laptop and the inventors of boards.ie in order for the prophecy to be fulfilled.

    8 years had passed and the laptop, internet and boards.ie were acquired by Tar.... Well except boards.ie. He/she just came across that while they were looking up porn but that's another story for another day.

    A unique username was required and Tar without thinking, began to type.... Tar.Aldarion was his/her chosen name.

    A booming voice startled Tar as he/she logged into boards for the first time. "You are Tar.Aldarion. The prophecy is now fulfilled... Now go... Go and post and prepare to have the balls/vagina sucked from you by the horny fcukers on the internet who want to flirt with you"

    And so it began and long may it continue.


«1

Comments

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    #2
    Jazzy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,315 ✭✭✭Jazzy


    HEGA


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    #3
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Jazzy wrote: »
    HEGA

    ?


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    #4
    Jazzy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,315 ✭✭✭Jazzy


    That_Guy wrote: »
    ?
    This forum requires that you wait 30 seconds between posts. Please try again in 10 seconds.

    fukin n00b


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    #5
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Great thread that_guy. lmfao!


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    #6
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    Great thread that_guy. lmfao!

    All for you my love. ;)


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    #7
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    /reads story of birth again...so that's how it happened!

    Thought everybody recieved that message on boards..


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    #8
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    /reads story of birth again...so that's how it happened!

    Thought everybody recieved that message on boards..

    No no... Just you.


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    #9
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Anyway...

    Back to blindfolds, oil and handcuffs. ;)


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    #10
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    bring em to hamilton bathrooms :pac:


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    #11
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    I know quieter bathrooms though. ;)


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    #12
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,134 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    thats so amazing there should be a Tar biography


  • Options
    #13
    ToniTuddle
    Registered Users Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    I'd buy it.


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    #14
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Larianne wrote: »
    I know quieter bathrooms though. ;)
    Guess they won't be so quiet for long.
    cherryghost wrote: »
    thats so amazing there should be a Tar biography
    get working guys :p


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    #15
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users Posts: 17,187 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    What about a musical?


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    #16
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    What about a musical?

    I reluctantly accept :pac:

    /prances


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    #17
    neil_
    Registered Users Posts: 274 ✭✭neil_


    Can I play Tar?


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    #18
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    neil_ wrote: »
    Can I play Tar?

    You definitely seem the 'musical' type


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    #19
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    neil_ wrote: »
    Can I play Tar?

    Ewwwwww. But you're a boy :(


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    #20
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Only lesbian pillow fort fight allowed round here.

    ANd if you met neil abi, you wouldn't be so sure.


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    #21
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    Guess they won't be so quiet for long.

    The blindfold can also be used as a gag. ;)


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    #22
    neil_
    Registered Users Posts: 274 ✭✭neil_


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Ewwwwww. But you're a boy :(

    How would you know?


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    #23
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    neil_ wrote: »
    How would you know?

    I touched you up while you were sleeping. Thats right Gaga, the game is up.


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    #24
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    I only got to touch her up when she was drunk...silly neil...so easy


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    #25
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Larianne wrote: »
    The blindfold can also be used as a gag. ;)

    pm me in the library....oh god :o


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    #26
    amoXx
    Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭amoXx


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    What about a musical?

    I think thats already begun. get onto brian! he has already wrote at least 1 song about tar. AT LEAST


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    #27
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    I'm gonna start on a Tar novel. A new chapter every day. Count my original post as chapter one.... or a prologue if you will.

    I'll start the next chapter tonight. There'll be films, musicals and mock porno films made about this I tell ya.


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    #28
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,098 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    amoXx wrote: »
    I think thats already begun. get onto brian! he has already wrote at least 1 song about tar. AT LEAST
    The first song he wrote about me, to the tune of circus by britney spears, is ****ing epic :D

    He said he was working on another. Cmon brian!

    That_Guy wrote: »
    I'm gonna start on a Tar novel. A new chapter every day. Count my original post as chapter one.... or a prologue if you will.

    I'll start the next chapter tonight. There'll be films, musicals and mock porno films made about this I tell ya.

    Legend, Like trent but sexier. Look forward to my new adventures :pac:


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    #29
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users Posts: 17,187 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    That_Guy wrote: »
    I'm gonna start on a Tar novel. A new chapter every day. Count my original post as chapter one.... or a prologue if you will.

    I'll start the next chapter tonight. There'll be films, musicals and mock porno films made about this I tell ya.

    If you do make a film, would you actually turn up for that one?

    /snap


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    #30
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    pm me in the library....oh god :o

    That should be a winky smiley back not one's that embarrassed. :cool:



    Man, I just can't sniff you out these days. :(


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    #31
    maameeo
    Registered Users Posts: 12,399 ✭✭✭✭maameeo


    oh this story is frickin brilliant! any more stories that_guy????
    i would like to hear more of Tar's life story and prophecy




    ...hmm better flirt with Tar while im here... "hey Tar *bats lashes* could you come look at my bed, its eh, its...eh... just come look at my bed yea?"


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