A few signs !

dak

Sign on the door of a vet's waiting room: "Back in five minutes. Sit... Stay!"

A sign over a gynaecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix"

On the door of a plastic surgeon's office: "We can help you pick your nose!"

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place...."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

A sign in the non-smoking area of a restaurant: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

Ad on the side of a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

Another slogan on the truck of a plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak.

ryaner7777

Seen a great sign on the side of a work van in dublin recently,

can't remember the name of the company but underneath it said

" Small company, Big Erections ! "

Thomas828

A sign outside a builders' shop in Southall run by Mr Patel and sons: You've had the cowboys, now try the Indians.

breedie

Remember a plumbers van in London that advertised

The Lone Drainer - and Pronto!

Pompey Magnus

In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.