Do I try and telephone next?

gfmason

After many months of tracing my birth mother, a lovely local priest where she was born told me to look in London. I met the most amazing 'search angel' Judy who took it upon herself to get me all sorts of certs, addresses, telephone numbers, etc., Between us we found out that my birth mother has two sisters living close to her, her own mother, and two brothers. I wrote to my birth mother about a month ago along the usual vague lines of old friend looking to catch up. I have not received any reply. From what we have found out she married 3 years after she had me and is still married to the same man but does not appear to have had any children. What do you think I should do next. Contact her local parish priest, approach one of her sisters or write again to her? Any advice would be very welcome.

The_Conductor

Have a word with Judy Campbell, she is really good. Personally I would advise under no circumstances phoning- she is probably in shock- however were someone who might be perceived as neutral (e.g. Judy) to discretely approach her on your behalf, it might be a possible course of action.

I know only too well how difficult it is waiting to see what happens- but I would seriously advise not phoning.

Judy has been doing this for years, and is a total dote- ask her help, she is brilliant.

Shane

gfmason

Hi Shane,

I totally agree with you that Judy is brilliant. She just keeps on giving, asking nothing in return. She gets so engrossed in the search and finds out so much more than I could ever find out. I think I will wait another month then write another letter again to my birth mother and see if I get a reply. I will also talk to Judy and see if she would be willing to make an approach, or perhaps a Parish Priest might be able to help make contact with Evelyn. Thanks for replying. I never thought I could be this patient! It's a new life skill I am learning....!

Grainne

The_Conductor

Sad smiley
To be honest- its not patience to have some sort of expectation that your birthmum would get in touch with you- though all too often this seems to be the case. I made contact with my birthmum several years ago- perhaps once a year or once every two years- she might send me a card, sometimes for my birthday, sometimes at Christmas- but they are rare as hens teeth. I still race home every day and check the postbox- wondering if today might be that elusive day that I might get a card.......

Its more a part of being adopted, than it is learning the virtue of patience.

Hope it all goes well for you,

Best wishes,

Shane