Disheartened

cbmonstra

I had my first lesson last night.

I was totally unprepared for how bad I am at driving. I'm 27, and had never driven before, and I know I should take that into account.

I just feel awful after it... It's replaying in my head like a nightmare, and I can't stop thinking about it.

I couldn't do anything, I can barely steer, I just didn't have a clue. We were on the road, but my instructor had dual controls, I doubt I had any control of the car at all. I could tell my instructor was surprised at how bad I am...

Not sure how I'm going to build up the courage again to get back in the car. Can anyone give me some tips for building my confidence, or how to relax..? I think my main thing is I was so nervous... I couldn't concentrate on anything my instructor told me... I know for next time I need to relax, cos I was so tense... My hands are still shaking!!

Any advice? Or even just some re-assurance that I'm not the only person that is so bad on the first time out!!

Please and Thanks!!

Mitch Connor

cbmonstra wrote: »

I had my first lesson last night.

I was totally unprepared for how bad I am at driving. I'm 27, and had never driven before, and I know I should take that into account.

I just feel awful after it... It's replaying in my head like a nightmare, and I can't stop thinking about it.

I couldn't do anything, I can barely steer, I just didn't have a clue. We were on the road, but my instructor had dual controls, I doubt I had any control of the car at all. I could tell my instructor was surprised at how bad I am...

Not sure how I'm going to build up the courage again to get back in the car. Can anyone give me some tips for building my confidence, or how to relax..? I think my main thing is I was so nervous... I couldn't concentrate on anything my instructor told me... I know for next time I need to relax, cos I was so tense... My hands are still shaking!!

Any advice? Or even just some re-assurance that I'm not the only person that is so bad on the first time out!!

Please and Thanks!!

get someone to bring you to a car park in the evening, when it is empty (no idea if there are any round you) and practice moving off and turning corners. Get yourself used to gear changes and the like.

Surprised the instructor had you out on the road first time to be honest.

fuelinjection

Pay attention to what the instructor says ... it may be boring but it is expensive for you. Also it will help you pass your test in my experience.

Confidence is hard to pass on, it takes practice and time. Read lots of theory books maybe if that helps you. But for me, a lot of the problem in learning to drive was learning to use the clutch to slow the car. And also braking, if you cannot stop the car then forget about the rest.

LilMsss

I know how you feel. I'm 29 and have had my first two lessons in the last week. It can be very overwhelming starting off. I'm used to doing things I'm good at ... and driving is not the sort of skill you can just get into a car and 'pick up'.

No one expects someone on their first few lessons to be able to drive. The role of the instructor is to guide you and give you the information you need to make you a competent driver.

There was so much information to take in during my first lesson ... I actually had a headache for the rest of the day, but I studied and processed the info at home, and by my second lesson I was driving (although assisted in a dual-control car). It will take a few lessons for things to click for you.

Like you, I had never driven and had (up until now at least) been quite oblivious to anything to do with driving, even basic things like which pedals control which functions .... and don't even get me started on steering!

I'm also consciously taking in road signs and markings, or asking questions when I'm in the passenger seat of someone else's car, and going through the Rules of the Road book at home.

The way I see it, if I'm determined to learn how to drive, I have to stick with it. Your next lesson will be so much easier. I realise I'm a complete beginner as well, but learning to drive is something that we (hopefully) only have to do once, even if it takes some time to pick up the basics.

cbmonstra

@LilMsss

Thanks so much for posting... You're spot on with how I felt last night, you know, not being used to being bad at something, or not able to do it.

It's also great to hear I'm not the only 20 something starting out. I look at my younger siblings and even 17 year old neighbours and stuff whizzing around in their cars, and I thought it would be no hassle to me. How wrong I was!!

Your post made me feel loads better. Thanks for the advice about taking in everything while a passenger. And also best of luck with the rest of your driving and lessons.

greenie

Cb the way you felt is how a lot of first time drivers feel during and after their first lesson..don't feel bad about it, just think, you can only get better:)
Does your instructor know how you feel and how nervous you are? If you feel he's not patient enough or that he gets a bit frustrated with you then change to someone else. You have to feel comfortable and under no pressure to rush this process. Never feel dumb just because you don't 'get it' the first couple of times because everyone has been there too.
The advise about finding an empty carpark was good..that really worked for me. You get the chance to familiarize yourself with the gears, clutch etc without distractions.
Good luck with it ! Just take your time, it will definitely get better:)

cbmonstra

Hi greenie,

Yep, my instructor is well aware of my nerves. I actually knew him to say Hello to prior to beginning the lessons, I didn't know he would be my instructor. He's a nice guy, and tbh, I was glad that it was him instructing me and not a stranger.

He was surprised at how bad I was (he didn't say, I could tell), but his opinion is it's my nerves getting to me. His advice was the car park thing too. At the start of the lessons he said he doesn't believe in it, but after the lesson he said I should do it to build up the confidence...

I'm not gonna change instructors, I know I'm the problem and not him. At the end of the lesson I wasn't as nervous as I had been, more appalled at how bad I was, and a wee bit embarrassed...

Thanks for the advice... And I will stick it out, I'd be a million times more embarrassed if I quit

ha-ya-said-what

Mitch Connor wrote: »

get someone to bring you to a car park in the evening, when it is empty (no idea if there are any round you) and practice moving off and turning corners. Get yourself used to gear changes and the like.

Surprised the instructor had you out on the road first time to be honest.

To be honest I would not advise that, not until a grasp of it is learned for the instructor and the knowledge of their instructions taken on board cos then you can practise with someone else, what you have been told and showed and even that that I would not advise it unless the car that can be used is similar to the instructors and there is someone who is not gonna tell you different and show you differently than the instructor!

Keep with your lessons OP, they'll get way easier, it just seemed a lot cos your being told keep your feet in such a place, wait fot the biting point, don't come off the clutch to fast or too slow, don't grip the gear stick etc etc, it's just cos you have to cover so many basics in the first lesson you get muddled up!

I had my first lesson with the instructor today and even I was gettin muddled up, cos the car was petrol, I'd been used to learnin in diesel and was never shown things like the instructor was showin me lol 20min later we were flying down the road at 80 lol

Alanstrainor

Mitch Connor wrote: »

get someone to bring you to a car park in the evening, when it is empty (no idea if there are any round you) and practice moving off and turning corners. Get yourself used to gear changes and the like.

Surprised the instructor had you out on the road first time to be honest.

I remember when i was learning to drive, i was brought out onto the road after a 10 minute talk through of the controls of the car. It seemed terrifying while i was doing it. Even though i didn't feel i really learned anything doing it at the time, when i think back to it, it was a brilliant way to learn. It's like learning how to swim by being thrown in the deep end.
The thing to remember is that your instructor still has a lot of control of the car, even when you are in the driving seat. And he will tell you what you have to do.

It's like everything really, there will be ups and downs, i remember my second lesson feeling great, i thought i was making great progress, and then when number three came around i felt like i had forgotten everything! I was cutting out, not checking mirrors, going wide around corners etc etc.

It's just the way it goes, no one picks it up after one lesson. Best of luck with it and book your next lesson asap, i bet you'll feel 100 times better after lesson number two!

Eyespy

Don't be disheartened. Seriously. If I could get the hang of a car, anyone could. I started off last May and I was diabolical. On my first day the instructor asked me if I knew how to drive and I said yeah, I knew the basics. I mean, I had been driving (stopping and starting, usually stalling though) around our field for a few weeks sometimes managing to get it up to 3rd gear. So I had the grasp of the basics, or so I thought.

That was my first mistake. My second was telling the instructor I was insured on the family car. I wasn't. Needless to say on the first day ever, after a quick run-down on the mechanics of the car, I was brought out on the main road. Not through the town but on the outskirts I was told to change seats and drive about 5 kilometres out the road. OH GOOD GOD! For the first 3-4 minutes I was doing ok and hogging the hard shoulder, crawling along for dear life as she went through the gears, up to 4th with me. But then the bloody thing disappeared and to top it off I had a lorry up my arse to boot. My instructor told me to practice at home and I hadn't the heart to tell her that I couldn't go on the road and I couldn't even use old red (the field car), as a, I couldn't go past 3rd in the field. It wasn't long enough and b, it wouldn't go anyway as I'd burnt out the clutch. Thirdly, I was afraid of her which explained why I kept going back.

As you can imagine, without practice between weekly lessons, my driving didn't really improve. I was dire. Stalling constantly, braking like Mr. Bean and revving the sh!te out of the engine weren't getting me anywhere. She was absolutely horrified with me. My exams came up and I dropped it for a few weeks. When I went back to it last autumn, I had a snazzy little car and a brand new calm instructor. I've been driving ever since. Well, that's a tiny lie. I had a small accident in my car the first day I took it out. I didn't even make it on the road . I locked it to the side of my house but after I got the paintwork fixed, I've been driving without harm ever since. Touch wood.
I've my test tomorrow morning and fingers crossed, I'll pass. Despite my horror story, the point I'm trying to make is that you will get better. You have to keep at it. Unfortunately, you won't get it over night. The fact is that been slightly older has its disadvantages. You become wary of taking opportunities on the road. I know exactly where you're coming from because I was 27 when I started too. But keep at it. Driving is great and it's a great accomplishment too. The best of luck with it. Please don't give up.

cbmonstra

Thanks to everyone for the replies!

I really just needed to know that I'm not the worst beginner in the world. Sounds like my experience is a pretty typical one, so thanks everyone for that.

I'm wasn't looking forward to my next lesson, but I'm not feeling half as bad now, and I think I'll be more relaxed next time.

Best of luck in your test Eyespy!!

wayne0308

I only started learning in August of last year and just turned 26. I found a lot of things difficult in the beginning but as time goes on, many things will just become instinctive.

Everyone seems to find different things difficult starting off, for me it was moving off facing uphill and clutch control in certain situations, I'd just panic if there was any traffic behind me. I think everyone has nerves in the beginning though, I definitely did.

The main thing is to feel safe with the instructor, he/she has dual controls and is experienced in using them to correct any mistakes that you make and everyone makes mistakes. Just take each lesson as it comes and learn what you can, after a couple of more lessons you'll feel a lot more confident and pretty soon before ya know it I bet you'll start to enjoy this driving thing.

dudara

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's much harder to learn things as we get older. Driving requires a fair amount of coordination, and that is something we learner quicker when we're young.

This doesn't mean that you won't learn to drive now. Right now, after reading your post, it appears that your biggest obstacle to learning to drive is yourself. Don't let that be the case. Keep a positive attitude towards it and be patient and forgiving.

cloneslad

Hey O.P

There is only one way to get better and that is with practice. I was terrible at the start too. Did my provsional test in june (aged 25), started driving in a car park with my g.f's sister to pick up the very basics of steering and gear changing etc then had three lessons and ended up buying a car and practicing on the road outside my house (just going up and down about 20 metres) finally I took it out on the road proper and only learned how to drive by continuously doing it every day.

I even passed my test today I did have 8 more lessons in the past 2 weeks to learn the route and change some of my bad habits. Keep at it, and if possible, get yourself a car or insured on someone elses.

fonpokno

cbmonstra, I wouldn't worry too much about being awful on the first lesson. It took me hours and hours over many days of sitting in the car with my dad to even get the car away in first gear. I don't know how I would have coped with an actual instructor if I hadn't learnt that first so you're already doing better than I did!

Also after every single driving lesson I had I'd come home sweating buckets, whether that was with my dad or with my instructor. All my muscles used to physically ache because I was so tense all the time.

Don't worry too much, everyone sucks their first time around! You'll be absolutely fine.