My riding instructor/barn owner is horrible to me. What do i do?

SoDizzy

My riding instructor/barn owner is horrible to me. What do i do?

I have recently moved barns to one that's closer to me. I used to ride at this barn about 7 or 8 years ago and i had to leave, partly because the owner was a horrible, HORRIBLE person (and partly because at the end of it all i was being taught by 14/15 year old kids, who were still students themselves, which didn't impress me). Well, i thought that now i'm a proper adult maybe things will be different, boy was i wrong. She didn't remember me at all, but right from the get go, the FIRST meeting, she was horrible. She's most definitely up on her high horse (pun intended ha ha). Really though, you wouldn't believe how bad she really is unless you met her. All this for no reason at all.

Anyone would have thought that she was trying to provoke me into an all out fight she was so rude...all this, and in our first meeting. I didn't do or say anything to provoke this, yet she was so rude. It was as though she downright hated me, making snide, horrible comments and being outright condescending. It was almost unbelievable. She's actually known for being like this, but hell, i ride horses for fun. I'm not going to come here and PAY for fun, only to be shouted at and being made to feel like an idiot, which is how she made me feel.

I haven't had a lesson with her yet, but as another person told me "she doesn't suffer fools". And here i am, only just starting to ride again after a VERY long break. I'm basically a beginner again. I AM going to make mistakes and my legs will NOT be strong enough yet.... i don't think i'll be able to handle her attitude... but the thing is, my options are limited.

This barn is the closest one to me, and that's not all. I plan to lease a horse in the summer, and her prices are the best. She's looking for around £100-£150 per month (probably £120 for what i'd be looking for) and the other barn that's 40 minutes away from me where i had 3 lessons would be asking £220.
But it's not that easy. She has a limit on leasing horses, meaning that if i lease, it has to be at 3 month long intervals. Thing is, i would never be able to afford that. I could only ever do one month at a time to allow me to budget for the next month. In other words, if i were to lease for one month, come the end of that month i MAY be able to lease for a further month, and come the end of THAT month i MAY be able to do the third month. There's no way i'd be able to commit to 3 months right off the bat. Because of this i need to feel that i can negotiate with her, therefore i can't exactly go around fighting with her, bumping heads and burning bridges (one of her employees hinted that if she knew me and we got along i could do it month by month). But she's just SO horrible and abrasive that it kind of defeats my aim of going there to have FUN.

How do i deal with this character?? I have no idea where to start. I don't want to be walked all over and being treated like an idiot but i can't be constantly fighting with her either if i am to get what i want...

Can anyone help?

gaoife

Dizzy i feel so sorry for you!!!
Is there no other barn nearby? where abouts are you??
It seems so bad giving your money to someone so horrible and it cant be easy trying to learn in such a stressfull enviornment.
Im my experience you have to feel happy and content in order to progress especially with riding as your horse will pick up on everything.

Maybe try speaking to her and seeing with the problem is? it could be that your giving out vibes cus you have bad memories from the last time here and you dont even know it and as you said your an adult this time so maybe a face to face conversation might be best.

convert

Please remember to refrain from naming individuals or specifying yards in your posts, please.

convert

That's awful. I don't understand why so many people are like this; it's so unnecessary.

If you're not happy in the yard and aren't been treated well, then it'd probably be advisable for you to go somewhere else where you will be treated with the respect you deserve, as well as being taught effectively and correctly. You are not going to have fun or learn properly in an environment as you describe, and the chances are you will hate every minute you spend there and it may put you off riding, altogether.

Have a look around and speak with other people and see if there's somewhere else that you could go, even if it is a bit further away and a little more expensive. It would be much better value - why should you pay to be treated badly and yelled at during a lesson?

gaoife

I agree riding is such an expensive sport these no point paying money to a place that might turn you off altogether
Good luck

Kelly2010

Its is very unprofessional what she is doing. And i do feel so sorry for you. Does she not want the business or something because if it was me i woulnt be long about moving my horse.. There is always somewhere else to put your horse, i would not pay for that service. Horseriding is suppose to be a enjoyable (well sometimes a hurtful) sport. Some body like that would put u off it.

My advice to you is to move your horse to somewhere where u looking forward to and enjoy going. Best of Luck

SoDizzy

gaoife wrote: »

Dizzy i feel so sorry for you!!!
Is there no other barn nearby? where abouts are you??
It seems so bad giving your money to someone so horrible and it cant be easy trying to learn in such a stressfull enviornment.
Im my experience you have to feel happy and content in order to progress especially with riding as your horse will pick up on everything.

Maybe try speaking to her and seeing with the problem is? it could be that your giving out vibes cus you have bad memories from the last time here and you dont even know it and as you said your an adult this time so maybe a face to face conversation might be best.

Well actually i was as friendly as anyone could possibly be (i always am ) and i was just met with insults and snide comments...
She's notorious for being horrible anyway and has lost a lot of business because of it, not that that makes me feel any better about it

lordgoat

Have a look around for another yard, i only started to ride last august and if i had some like that teaching me i would never have stuck with it. Nothing is worth the stress and time of having to deal with s hitheads.

746watts

Why put yourself through all that stress.
Find another yard and enjoy your lessons.

gigawatt

746watts wrote: »

Why put yourself through all that stress.
Find another yard and enjoy your lessons.

i agree, why the bloody hell would you pay money to someone who treats you like that? are you nuts!?if you really want to stick in this yard get angry have it out to her face and see if she backs off. if she doesnt,just leave. bullies need to be told to back off or they will never leave you alone. people like that instructor make me so mad:mad:a**holes

needadvice

Its a common story with horses sadly and its usually women. If its worth staying and she knows her stuff stand your ground in a very assertive way that does not cross the line in terms of respect. My money is on her taking it. She snaps rudely you simply say you surely weren't adressing me in that tone with alittle air of humour make light jokes when she is hostile but let her know you aren't a doormat. Respect her skill and expect her courtesy.

Otherwise leave. Good luck.

Tanzanite

i would definitely look elsewhere!

bazza1

Go somewhere else!
Why put yourself through something if you dont enjoy yourself! you will find it difficult to improve your riding if you are in a bad learning environment. You will be nervous and lack confidence. Move somewhere where you will be welcome and encouraged.

SoDizzy

Thanks everyone

I'm thinking maybe i should go to the nice barn for all my lessons, then just lease from the cheap place in the summer. That way, i'll be competant enough to ride alone from the lessons at the good place that i won't have to deal with her beyond signing the contracts. I'll just have to save up for the 3 months. I have a job so it's definitley possible, but i have other things that need paying for, like my car insurance, and maybe a holiday (my boyfriend keeps talking about goign somewhere, so if we do i'd have to save for that too) so i'd still prefer to do it on a month by month basis...


Maybe i'll just ask her if she'll do it month by month without having a prior relationship with her to see how open she is to it. Even if i could just do it for two months, if she won't allow for one, i'd be better off. I mean, two months at the cheap barn would only get me one month at the friendly barn...


If only the friendly barn was cheaper...i really love it there. I was there on saturday and i was doing a jump, but at the last minute my horse changed his stride and i landed badly on the saddle and now i have a horrible bruise in a very bad place lol But it was so much fun....