Bouncer asks you how much you have had..

eyresquare

Whats the best thing to say to a bouncer when he asks you how much you have had to drink tonight. I always mess it up and need a good answer for them!

galwayrush

Not enough yet.:rolleyes:

Silverfish

I remember getting asked that on the door of a pub. The answer was to jab him in the chest with my finger, yell 'FUKKEN LOADS!' as I slowly fell forward, grabbing his jacket as I slid to the ground.

Here's a tip, don't EVER use that one.

January

"Nothing, yet!"

Daemos

I'm a pioneer. I go out for the atmosphere, not the drink

That_Guy

I'd probably reply back saying "Wow, look at that. A talking ape"

NothingMan

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

I'm a pioneer. I go out for the atmosphere, not the drink

If I was a bouncer and you told me that, i'd tell you a pioneer discovers countries, the word you're looking for is loser!

ibarelycare

I've never been asked that. I guess that's the advantage of having boobs.

That_Guy

NothingMan wrote: »

If I was a bouncer and you told me that, i'd tell you a pioneer discovers countries, the word you're looking for is loser!

To which I would step in and say "Takes one to know one" and I would laugh at my childish manner.

Gary ITR

NothingMan wrote: »

If I was a bouncer and you told me that, i'd tell you a pioneer discovers countries, the word you're looking for is loser!

There was me thinking a Pioneer was a stereo

Dean820

'Two pints' is the magic answer.

My answer is "3 or 4 pints in (insert pub name)" regardless of how much I've had to drink.

NothingMan

Onkle wrote: »

There was me thinking a Pioneer was a stereo

Stereos could discover countries.

ssaye

Sorry, I have arithmophobia

grizzly

*slap him swiftly with a removed glove*

"None of your business, now run along to your master and tell him to ready the drinks and merriment"

Borneo Fnctn

I've had your mother, you're sister and your girlfriend pal, now get out of my way you knuckledragger.

eyresquare

Kenia Shy Hairbrush wrote: »

My answer is "3 or 4 pints in (insert pub name)" regardless of how much I've had to drink.

Best Serious Answer So Far ^^

Silverfish wrote: »

I remember getting asked that on the door of a pub. The answer was to jab him in the chest with my finger, yell 'FUKKEN LOADS!' as I slowly fell forward, grabbing his jacket as I slid to the ground.

Here's a tip, don't EVER use that one.

Funniest Answer ^^

The medals will be posted out to ye in 4 workings days.

Riddle101

I was once asked this at Qbar two years ago. I didn't have any drink beforehand, but the bouncer asked me how much drink? and me being a first timer thought he meant how much I was planning to have inside.

This is how it went
Bouncer: How much drink?
Me: Eh..... I dunno 5?
Bouncer: FIVE!!!
Me: What?
Bouncer: I asked you how much drink you had?
Me: Oh........ None.......... I didn't know what you meant.
Bouncer: Is this your first time?
Me: Yes
*bouncer stares at me for a minute"
Bouncer: Let's see your ID
*Give bouncer ID*
Bouncer: Alright you can go in. But don't start acting the p!ss
Me: Thank You.

Thank god it was a cool bouncer, otherwise I might have been turned away.

ibarelycare

Silverfish wrote: »

I remember getting asked that on the door of a pub. The answer was to jab him in the chest with my finger, yell 'FUKKEN LOADS!' as I slowly fell forward, grabbing his jacket as I slid to the ground.

Here's a tip, don't EVER use that one.

I've read this 4 times now and I've lol'd each time!

That_Guy

Riddle101 wrote: »

I was once asked this at Qbar two years ago. I didn't have any drink beforehand, but the bouncer asked me how much drink? and me being a first timer thought he meant how much I was planning to have inside.

This is how it went
Bouncer: How much drink?
Me: Eh..... I dunno 5?
Bouncer: FIVE!!!
Me: What?
Bouncer: I asked you how much drink you had?
Me: Oh........ None.......... I didn't know what you meant.
Bouncer: Is this your first time?
Me: Yes
*bouncer stares at me for a minute"
Bouncer: Let's see your ID
*Give bouncer ID*
Bouncer: Alright you can go in. But don't start acting the p!ss
Me: Thank You.

Thank god it was a cool bouncer, otherwise I might have been turned away.

What? :eek::eek::eek:

Ruu_Old

"I don't drink, you buffoon!" :cool:

stovelid

Only yokes so far tonight mate, don't worry.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Have you ever been told 'Go get a cup of coffee and try later'

In which case you should always go get the said cup of coffee and bring it back to the bouncer and say 'There's your coffee, can I come in now'

Its worked at least twice (both times by someone a lot more charming than me )

Gillington

ibarelycare wrote: »

I've never been asked that. I guess that's the advantage of having boobs.

Pics or GTFO!

df1985

ive been told go away and get something to eat. 20 mins later and im still hammered, only difference is ive have a portion of garlic cheese chips down my shirt. i got in though!

if i am ever asked i say a few at home or a few in a nearby pub. never say more than 4 pints if asked i my opinion.bouncers know even the biggest lightweight is ok after 4.if you said 6, said lightweight could be messy after one more.

cian1500ww

3 pints normally works for me, I don't normally count how many I have so I just say that

ibarelycare

Gillington wrote: »

Pics or GTFO!

( . ) ( . )

paconnors

Dont Know, Stopped counting a couple of bars back

Buceph

I say, "Two or three, eh, yeah three." I use eh for the pause and try and look as though I'm calculating. If I'm pissed I'll bump it to three or four. If I'm looking dodgy I might go with, "I had a bottle of wine with dinner." That one shows I'm classy, and indicates I probably haven't been on the tear with a pack of 20 who are hiding around the corner and planning to stream in slowly.

Usually works for me. Don't know if bouncers see through all this ****, or if they're just asking cause they're a bit bored.

df1985

tbh i dont think they care about the answer-its to find out are you slurring your words/do you get aggressive by being asked etc etc, its just to suss you out, what kind of person you are and that.

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

I remember when I was out in cork with a few mates and one of the bouncers asked one of my mates "How are you for drink".He replied with "Gasping" bouncer bursts out laughing and lets him in.

Bonito

You should say "Jaysus a guard wouldn't ask me that *pause* unless he pulled me in"

You and the bouncer have a larf and he lets you go on your merry way

arybvtcw0eolkf

df1985 wrote: »

tbh i dont think they care about the answer-its to find out are you slurring your words/do you get aggressive by being asked etc etc, its just to suss you out, what kind of person you are and that.

If just to suss you out.

I see your in Leixlip, I used to work at The Rye Vale, the old niteclub 'Rock'a Fella's and The Ozone for that horrible fucker Hannigan.

I even worked on the door of Highway 66 (And Sammy's chipper), dammit I even done a spot on The Hitcher for awhile!.

df1985

youve probably seen my face so! went to the hitcher when i was not quite 18 until it was knocked, and went to the ozone (now zinc),

worked for the hannigans in the springfield too.

Irish_polizei

ibarelycare wrote: »

( . ) ( . )

( . ) ( . ) **

arybvtcw0eolkf

df1985 wrote: »

youve probably seen my face so! went to the hitcher when i was not quite 18 until it was knocked, and went to the ozone (now zinc),

worked for the hannigans in the springfield too.

Yup, I worked on a few functions at the Springer too.

Rabies

df1985 wrote: »

tbh i dont think they care about the answer-its to find out are you slurring your words/do you get aggressive by being asked etc etc, its just to suss you out, what kind of person you are and that.

Ya, thats pretty much it.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

I'm a pioneer. I go out for the atmosphere, not the drink

how does it feel up there?

namelessguy

eyresquare wrote: »

Whats the best thing to say to a bouncer when he asks you how much you have had to drink tonight. I always mess it up and need a good answer for them!

Pretend you have brain damage like that guy from the don't frink and drive ad. Works every time.

BigDuffman

If your being asked the doorman already knows/suspects you've been drinking. So "had a few pints / glasses of wine" or "just had 2 down the road in *insert respectable pub*. Key is to smile be decent and don't dribble on yourself or slur your words.

Time Magazine

Amelia Billions Sailfish wrote: »

I see your in Leixlip, I used to work at The Rye Vale, the old niteclub 'Rock'a Fella's and The Ozone for that horrible fucker Hannigan.

Yeah, but how hot is his niece?



Swoooooooon

OpenYourEyes

All i know is never mention vodka!

Bonito

OpenYourEyes wrote: »

All i know is never mention vodka!

Or absenthe! :pac:

Nervous Wreck

Repeat after me: "Ah I just had a couple in the job when I got off there..."

You never need to go any further. They assume you work in a pub/club and thus "look after their own". Works every single time, no matter how much I've had.

OpenYourEyes

Bonito wrote: »

Or absenthe! :pac:

Or Kerry Katona, but thats a whole other story..........

Ozzy

say enthusiastically "not enough!"
drop down to your knees, unzip their trousers, then punch him in the balls PAOW

walk inside, enjoy your pints

tony1kenobi

Bouncer: How much have you had?

Me: Enough to get dragged to this sh*thole

Bouncer: Go on in.

CianRyan

I've never been asked.
When ever I shave I get asked for I.D., hand it over grand, they look at it for a while unsure then reluctantly say, "Ah right, go on."

Thus, I hate shaving.
When I have a beard I have the laugh with the bouncers.

Son Of A Vidic

'' Too much for you to be able to handle mate .''

bernyh

This is a wee bit off topic, and not said by myself.... my cousin who has a VERY dry sense of humor, when we were all out on a family nite out and he was pretty drunk, he would have been about 23 at the time. We walked up to the door and the bouncer was a bit of a twat, we had been for a family meal and decided that us "young ones" would go out for a bit of a dance, anyway he was the only male with us and the bouncer asked him for id. All he had on him was his driving licence, but the bouncer said "I can't accept that, needs to be a passport".... My cousin, without a second thought just looked at us and said "FFS how f****ng far away is this bar?????" It was hilarious, the bouncer had NO clue what to say!!!!!!!!!!!

Prof.Badass

When i first started going out i thought the appropriate answer was "nothing" followed by your best attempt to act sober. I tried this once after having a naggin and a half on the way in and the bouncers all laughed. Still let me in though .

Nowadays I usually say "2 cans" but i rarely have more than a naggin in me (I get the impression mentioning downing vodka is a bad idea coz we're all supposed to pretend alcohol isn't a drug :rolleyes:). Any time I've had more I haven't been asked , would probably still say 2 cans .