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Bouncer asks you how much you have had..

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2

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    #32
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    You should say "Jaysus a guard wouldn't ask me that *pause* unless he pulled me in" :D

    You and the bouncer have a larf and he lets you go on your merry way ;)


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    #33
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,878 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    df1985 wrote: »
    tbh i dont think they care about the answer-its to find out are you slurring your words/do you get aggressive by being asked etc etc, its just to suss you out, what kind of person you are and that.

    If just to suss you out.

    I see your in Leixlip, I used to work at The Rye Vale, the old niteclub 'Rock'a Fella's and The Ozone for that horrible fucker Hannigan.

    I even worked on the door of Highway 66 (And Sammy's chipper), dammit I even done a spot on The Hitcher for awhile!.


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    #34
    df1985
    Registered Users Posts: 4,432 ✭✭✭df1985


    youve probably seen my face so! went to the hitcher when i was not quite 18 until it was knocked, and went to the ozone (now zinc),

    worked for the hannigans in the springfield too.


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    #35
    Irish_polizei
    Closed Accounts Posts: 805 ✭✭✭Irish_polizei


    ibarelycare wrote: »
    ( . ) ( . )

    ( . ) ( . ) **


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    #36
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,878 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    df1985 wrote: »
    youve probably seen my face so! went to the hitcher when i was not quite 18 until it was knocked, and went to the ozone (now zinc),

    worked for the hannigans in the springfield too.


    Yup, I worked on a few functions at the Springer too.


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    #37
    Rabies
    Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    df1985 wrote: »
    tbh i dont think they care about the answer-its to find out are you slurring your words/do you get aggressive by being asked etc etc, its just to suss you out, what kind of person you are and that.

    Ya, thats pretty much it.


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    #38
    3hn2givr7mx1sc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,838 ✭✭✭✭3hn2givr7mx1sc


    DaPoolRulz wrote: »
    I'm a pioneer. I go out for the atmosphere, not the drink

    how does it feel up there?


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    #39
    namelessguy
    Registered Users Posts: 179 ✭✭namelessguy


    eyresquare wrote: »
    Whats the best thing to say to a bouncer when he asks you how much you have had to drink tonight. I always mess it up and need a good answer for them!

    Pretend you have brain damage like that guy from the don't frink and drive ad. Works every time.


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    #40
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    If your being asked the doorman already knows/suspects you've been drinking. So "had a few pints / glasses of wine" or "just had 2 down the road in *insert respectable pub*. Key is to smile be decent and don't dribble on yourself or slur your words.


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    #41
    Time Magazine
    Registered Users Posts: 8,452 ✭✭✭Time Magazine


    Amelia Billions Sailfish wrote: »
    I see your in Leixlip, I used to work at The Rye Vale, the old niteclub 'Rock'a Fella's and The Ozone for that horrible fucker Hannigan.

    Yeah, but how hot is his niece?

    lisa-hannigan.png?w=300&h=400

    Swoooooooon


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    #42
    OpenYourEyes
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 3,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭OpenYourEyes


    All i know is never mention vodka!


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    #43
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    OpenYourEyes wrote: »
    All i know is never mention vodka!
    Or absenthe! :pac:


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    #44
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Repeat after me: "Ah I just had a couple in the job when I got off there..."

    You never need to go any further. They assume you work in a pub/club and thus "look after their own". Works every single time, no matter how much I've had.


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    #45
    OpenYourEyes
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 3,068 Mod ✭✭✭✭OpenYourEyes


    Bonito wrote: »
    Or absenthe! :pac:

    Or Kerry Katona, but thats a whole other story..........


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    #46
    Ozzy
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭Ozzy


    say enthusiastically "not enough!"
    drop down to your knees, unzip their trousers, then punch him in the balls PAOW

    walk inside, enjoy your pints


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    #47
    tony1kenobi
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭tony1kenobi


    Bouncer: How much have you had?

    Me: Enough to get dragged to this sh*thole

    Bouncer: Go on in.


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    #48
    CianRyan
    Registered Users Posts: 14,721 ✭✭✭✭CianRyan


    I've never been asked.
    When ever I shave I get asked for I.D., hand it over grand, they look at it for a while unsure then reluctantly say, "Ah right, go on."

    Thus, I hate shaving.
    When I have a beard I have the laugh with the bouncers.


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    #49
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    '' Too much for you to be able to handle mate .''


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    #50
    bernyh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭bernyh


    This is a wee bit off topic, and not said by myself.... my cousin who has a VERY dry sense of humor, when we were all out on a family nite out and he was pretty drunk, he would have been about 23 at the time. We walked up to the door and the bouncer was a bit of a twat, we had been for a family meal and decided that us "young ones" would go out for a bit of a dance, anyway he was the only male with us and the bouncer asked him for id. All he had on him was his driving licence, but the bouncer said "I can't accept that, needs to be a passport".... My cousin, without a second thought just looked at us and said "FFS how f****ng far away is this bar?????" It was hilarious, the bouncer had NO clue what to say!!!!!!!!!!!


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    #51
    Prof.Badass
    Registered Users Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    When i first started going out i thought the appropriate answer was "nothing" followed by your best attempt to act sober. I tried this once after having a naggin and a half on the way in and the bouncers all laughed. Still let me in though :D.

    Nowadays I usually say "2 cans" but i rarely have more than a naggin in me (I get the impression mentioning downing vodka is a bad idea coz we're all supposed to pretend alcohol isn't a drug :rolleyes:). Any time I've had more I haven't been asked :confused:, would probably still say 2 cans :D.


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    #52
    Gingervitis
    Registered Users Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Gingervitis


    I was a bouncer before and can tell you that we only asked that question if we didnt really want someone coming in. You cant tell someone to go away for no reason. the seceret to getting is is how you approach the door. Best way I found for this is keep you arms down by your sides, keep you hands in a loose fist and have you thumb on the side of the first knuckle on your pointing finger. Keep your thumb facing forward when you walk. Back straight. Sounds stupid I know but your walk will change to straight, confident but not confrontational. Its a march used by the irish army. Works a charm.
    If the bouncer does ask how many you have had, tell him what time you came out at (make it about 2 hours before and have had so X ammount of drinks - max 6)
    If they do tell you to go and get coffee make sure that you leave. Dont go straight to another place because often bouncers are in contact with other bouncers in different pubs / clubs and warn each other of possible trouble.
    Lastly if you can go in to the place with 3 others, make it 2 guys and 2 girls you will double your chances of getting in. Bouncers are often told to keep the ratio to a maximum of 1:1 guys to girls. More girls is ok, but not more guys.
    Lastly dont piss bouncers off if you are in trouble with them, I have seen people getting badly hurt because of this. (I never entertained this part of the job)
    Hope this was helpfull.


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    #53
    Darksaga87
    Registered Users Posts: 2,983 ✭✭✭Darksaga87


    "your drunk"

    "your sexy!"

    *BBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!*


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    #54
    DamoDLK
    Registered Users Posts: 716 ✭✭✭DamoDLK


    Gingervitis wrote: »
    I was a bouncer before and can tell you that we only asked that question if we didnt really want someone coming in. You cant tell someone to go away for no reason. the seceret to getting is is how you approach the door. Best way I found for this is keep you arms down by your sides, keep you hands in a loose fist and have you thumb on the side of the first knuckle on your pointing finger. Keep your thumb facing forward when you walk. Back straight. Sounds stupid I know but your walk will change to straight, confident but not confrontational. Its a march used by the irish army. Works a charm.
    If the bouncer does ask how many you have had, tell him what time you came out at (make it about 2 hours before and have had so X ammount of drinks - max 6)
    If they do tell you to go and get coffee make sure that you leave. Dont go straight to another place because often bouncers are in contact with other bouncers in different pubs / clubs and warn each other of possible trouble.
    Lastly if you can go in to the place with 3 others, make it 2 guys and 2 girls you will double your chances of getting in. Bouncers are often told to keep the ratio to a maximum of 1:1 guys to girls. More girls is ok, but not more guys.
    Lastly dont piss bouncers off if you are in trouble with them, I have seen people getting badly hurt because of this. (I never entertained this part of the job)
    Hope this was helpfull.

    This very thing happened me and 2 of my mates last night, the Vineyard in St.Kilda, Bouncer said its a sausage factory tonight, go off get some women and then come back.. I thought that he was taking the pi$$, apparently not!


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    #55
    Darksaga87
    Registered Users Posts: 2,983 ✭✭✭Darksaga87


    DamoDLK wrote: »
    This very thing happened me and 2 of my mates last night, the Vineyard in St.Kilda, Bouncer said its a sausage factory tonight, go off get some women and then come back.. I thought that he was taking the pi$$, apparently not!


    Who needs to be told "go find women."?
    Best way I found for this is keep you arms down by your sides, keep you hands in a loose fist and have you thumb on the side of the first knuckle on your pointing finger. Keep your thumb facing forward when you walk. Back straight. Sounds stupid I know but your walk will change to straight, confident but not confrontational.

    Athraíg Treo Fó Dheis Chlé Chasaigh!!


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    #56
    sainttrap
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭sainttrap


    The sixth of April 1986.:D


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    #57
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    ibarelycare wrote: »
    ( . ) ( . )

    *fap* *fap* *fap*


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    #58
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,878 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    namelessguy wrote: »
    Pretend you have brain damage like that guy from the don't frink and drive ad. Works every time.

    Actually something like this happened to me outside a club in Leixlip once.

    I was only new there and didn't know the locals (I came to believe that the locals are mostly inbreds, but thats another story).

    A few lads came to the door, and I blanked the first believing he was pissed. The two other door staff were shaking their heads behind him (at me), so I thought they were giving a definite "no way not tonight" sort'a thing.

    Turned out they were saying "noooooo, he's mildly handicapped - YOUR WRONG, he's NOT drunk", but stupid hole here stuck to his guns and told the poor lad "Listen buddy, your hammered & your not coming in", then he stammered out "Listen buddy, I'm fucking handicapped, but YOUR real the spa"... God damn did I turn a bright shade of red :o

    He slagged me about it every weekend after!.


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    #59
    arybvtcw0eolkf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,878 ✭✭✭✭arybvtcw0eolkf


    Gingervitis wrote: »
    I was a bouncer before and can tell you that we only asked that question if we didnt really want someone coming in. You cant tell someone to go away for no reason. the seceret to getting is is how you approach the door. Best way I found for this is keep you arms down by your sides, keep you hands in a loose fist and have you thumb on the side of the first knuckle on your pointing finger. Keep your thumb facing forward when you walk. Back straight. Sounds stupid I know but your walk will change to straight, confident but not confrontational. Its a march used by the irish army. Works a charm.
    If the bouncer does ask how many you have had, tell him what time you came out at (make it about 2 hours before and have had so X ammount of drinks - max 6)
    If they do tell you to go and get coffee make sure that you leave. Dont go straight to another place because often bouncers are in contact with other bouncers in different pubs / clubs and warn each other of possible trouble.
    Lastly if you can go in to the place with 3 others, make it 2 guys and 2 girls you will double your chances of getting in. Bouncers are often told to keep the ratio to a maximum of 1:1 guys to girls. More girls is ok, but not more guys.
    Lastly dont piss bouncers off if you are in trouble with them, I have seen people getting badly hurt because of this. (I never entertained this part of the job)
    Hope this was helpfull.

    Admit it, you didn't really work a door did you?..

    Come on, thats rubbish.


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    #60
    SteeveSmith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭SteeveSmith


    ive only ever been asked this once and my reply was 4 cans and a half bottle of whiskey....eejit that i am.


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    #61
    Karl Hungus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus


    When posed the question "How much have you had to drink?", "More than you can count" is always a good answer. Always.


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