what to do next?

ajo9011

Hi all,

Been going out with a girl for 2 and a half years in november of last year, however 3 weeks ago i cheated on her with a complete stranger. I felt terrible about what happened and told her about it immediatly after, it was just a drunken score for a couple of minutes.i felt terrible about the situation, needless to say we broke up on the spot that night.I started to give her space as i didnt know what else to, however last week she started giving out to me that i have have taken her for granted the last year and that i havent tried anything to win her back. I agree with her for the most part of taking her for granted but not all the situations she has said, anytime i try to get her to see my point of view she explodes. now im no angel either, i do get really mad at her too. Her life was pretty tough before what i did for various reasons including her job that she hates and some of her friends and now i have realy tipped her over board. she has basically quit her job, never going in, stays in bed alot and cries and says that i have ruined her life. I know i deserve this for what i did, but i dont know what to do next and the idea that she has been unhappy for the last year combined with the fact that i have ruined her life is killing me.

Thanks

6th

listen you made a mistake and stood up straight away. I really dont think you should have told her but now that you have she's using you to take the blame for everything. Make a clean break and leav her to it.

mobilecore

First off,
Its wrong what you did kissing another girl. That much is obvious. Even you admit that. Second, but fair play to at least being honest with her. You screwed up but at least you did the right thing afterwards. Most people wouldnt in relationships these days.

As for what "6th" has said above. That is a tricky thing. On one hand if you never said anything things would be ok. But I think when you're with a person you want to be with - honesty is a two way street. Reason being more so, if you found out she kissed someone else and you felt angry at it - would you really have a right to feel angry? (knowing you hid what you done)

Only advice one can give is to give her space. I know you already have. But she will obviously be hurt over this. Everyone handles this situation differently, some go out and sleep with someone else in retaliation, others break it off no contact ever again... some can quickly forgive it (they are the ones to watch out for lol - the ones who brush things off without a fuss lol)

She is either going to want to continue or thats it and its over. Alot of people would agree with either side of the fence she comes down on. Its one of these situations where you will find out pretty soon whats what.

If you two get back do your best to restore trust. Despite even if she says things are ok then, something like this will cause cracks.
If you dont, well, you screwed up but you were honest. Do your best to never do it again. I believe if you are going to forgive anyone about anything wrong, you do so because they are being honest ... never forgive a lie or half truth.


From your post tho I dont know if after you broke up you tried ringing her to try and express you were sorry? .... did you just say it in the fight? Did you just give her space after the breakup? ... then she rang you a few days after? ... or was there a period of you ringing her etc.