Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

girlonfire

Rosiestar wrote: »

Have noticed a pattern of early morning wakening, around about 5am or so and can't get back to sleep. Never a good sign.

I've noticed that with myself of late. Always a worrying sign my end. I know it sounds trite, but try to take it hour by hour today (minute by minute if you have to). When I see a whole day ahead of me feeling like this, it's much harder to get through.

Gillo

girlonfire wrote: »

I've noticed that with myself of late. Always a worrying sign my end. I know it sounds trite, but try to take it hour by hour today (minute by minute if you have to). When I see a whole day ahead of me feeling like this, it's much harder to get through.

As Girlonfire said, try breaking the day down. I usually do that instead of looking at the whole day just look at part and make myself a "to do" list, chances are I won't do anything on it but at least it give me a bit of structure to the day, even if it's just getting the ironing done at least you get an idea that you did something.

Do you find you have stuff on your mind when you wake up so early?

Rosiestar

Do you find you have stuff on your mind when you wake up so early?[/QUOTE]


No I don't have anything on my mind in particular it's just like an in built alarm system that has now become set up in my psyche which has become a pattern every morning this last four or five days. It doesn't affect me as badly now as I can no longer work, but back in the day when I was working it was awful, just awful coupled with crippling anxiety, which all amalgamated to my ultimate downfall.

However, with the bucketload of medications I have to take everday this just shouldn't be happening. Geodon should be knocking me out at night and keeping me knocked out.

nesf

girlonfire wrote: »

I've noticed that with myself of late. Always a worrying sign my end. I know it sounds trite, but try to take it hour by hour today (minute by minute if you have to). When I see a whole day ahead of me feeling like this, it's much harder to get through.

Yeah if you start thinking about how the day stretches out ahead of you unbroken it can seem awful and overwhelming.

Aoifums

Worst day that I can think of. Normally everything catches up to me at night but it was there from the moment I woke today. I've told a friend and he's staying with me for now which I really appreciate. I highly doubt I'm going to be able to make my lab this afternoon. Not sure what to say, since they're mandatory

Gillo

Aoifums wrote: »

Worst day that I can think of. Normally everything catches up to me at night but it was there from the moment I woke today. I've told a friend and he's staying with me for now which I really appreciate. I highly doubt I'm going to be able to make my lab this afternoon. Not sure what to say, since they're mandatory

Have you tried talking to you lecturers and explaining the situation? They may be able to give you some amount of leeway.

Temaz

Just existing at the moment.

nesf

Mood is ok today but the headaches have started.

GJF

I can go 2 or 3 nights with no sleep at all, so I just let it happen for a few nights, then I would drink myself to sleep one night, take 3 or 4 sleeping tables the next night and then another sleepless night , then another with vodka and so on and so o. Its horrible when you can't end the day and just lie there awake and then having to get up and go to work. I have no option now, if I miss another day I will loose my job.

Aoifums

Gillo wrote: »

Have you tried talking to you lecturers and explaining the situation? They may be able to give you some amount of leeway.

There's a procedure to go about doing so. I have to go to the doctors before going to my lecturers. But they're supposed to be pretty understanding once you fill out the extenuating circumstances form.

Gillo

Aoifums wrote: »

There's a procedure to go about doing so. I have to go to the doctors before going to my lecturers. But they're supposed to be pretty understanding once you fill out the extenuating circumstances form.

Maybe try turning up for the lab this after, before it starts ask the lecturer can you have a quick word and explain the situation, say though that the last few days it's been really bad but you have arranged to see your doctor to get a letter for the college. Sorry it's years since I was in college and was fine at that stage so I'm not sure if the advise is actually any good.

Agh, can't figure out my mood, I'm like the Duke of York, neither up nor down. Day off today, so I got up and went to the gym, glad I went otherwise I'd be stuck at home all day, but can't concentrate on anything or even think what I want (can't even choose what music to listen to, all the albums in my iPod there is something wrong with them- I mean I should like them I put them on it).

Izzie11

Have to see GP tomorrow to renew prescription. Feel so sick thinking about it

Kaching

Temaz wrote: »

Just existing at the moment.

Im co existing beside you

Gremlinertia

Been a while since i posted, been lurking as usual, a few times i've read posts and really wanted to offer a hug but felt like a hypocrit. Been so down that even feels like my arms are too heavy to lift and type this, due to see psychologist on 1st march and i'm terrified. On top of that i lost another good friend, was at funeral yesterday and got notice from work monday. Just not a good few days, finding it very hard to do a damn thing. What i'd really love is if my brain would stop spinning like a hundred hula hoops for just five minutes.

girlonfire

For the last few days, maybe since Sunday last, I've been as high as a kite during the day and then major slumps at night. I find I don't want to go home and would be happy to walk the streets. There's nothing to avoid at home. It's just this crushing feeling when I think of being by myself. College work is suffering. My thoughts are racing ninety miles a minute. I was sitting in a lecture today and I could feel my ears burning up so I started to panic thinking people were talking about me. I spent most of the hour thinking about all of the things I could've done to piss someone off and worked myself up into a state where I could feel a panic attack coming on towards the end of the lecture. It sounds ridiculous and I'm usually more logical but I've been getting so carried away. I'm not on a mood stabiliser at present and the very thought terrifies me as I've used them in the past and it wasn't a good experience. I don't want to tell my doctor about the high/low cycle. I don't know what to do in terms of college either. I can get through the workload I think.
I'm extremely paranoid at the moment.

nesf

girlonfire wrote: »

For the last few days, maybe since Sunday last, I've been as high as a kite during the day and then major slumps at night. I find I don't want to go home and would be happy to walk the streets. There's nothing to avoid at home. It's just this crushing feeling when I think of being by myself. College work is suffering. My thoughts are racing ninety miles a minute. I was sitting in a lecture today and I could feel my ears burning up so I started to panic thinking people were talking about me. I spent most of the hour thinking about all of the things I could've done to piss someone off and worked myself up into a state where I could feel a panic attack coming on towards the end of the lecture. It sounds ridiculous and I'm usually more logical but I've been getting so carried away. I'm not on a mood stabiliser at present and the very thought terrifies me as I've used them in the past and it wasn't a good experience. I don't want to tell my doctor about the high/low cycle. I don't know what to do in terms of college either. I can get through the workload I think.
I'm extremely paranoid at the moment.

Well, I had bad experiences on a few mood stabilisers but I did find one that suited me fine after a few tries (Trileptal) and have minimal side effects from it. I wouldn't write off mood stabilisers!

degausserxo

Not the best atm. Think I'm going to have to 'break up' with my psychotherapist - yesterday wasn't the first time I've left feeling worse than before I went in. Some of the things that've been said have really offended me, don't think she's approaching things in the correct manner.

Seren_

girlonfire wrote: »

For the last few days, maybe since Sunday last, I've been as high as a kite during the day and then major slumps at night. I find I don't want to go home and would be happy to walk the streets. There's nothing to avoid at home. It's just this crushing feeling when I think of being by myself. College work is suffering. My thoughts are racing ninety miles a minute. I was sitting in a lecture today and I could feel my ears burning up so I started to panic thinking people were talking about me. I spent most of the hour thinking about all of the things I could've done to piss someone off and worked myself up into a state where I could feel a panic attack coming on towards the end of the lecture. It sounds ridiculous and I'm usually more logical but I've been getting so carried away. I'm not on a mood stabiliser at present and the very thought terrifies me as I've used them in the past and it wasn't a good experience. I don't want to tell my doctor about the high/low cycle. I don't know what to do in terms of college either. I can get through the workload I think.
I'm extremely paranoid at the moment.

Have you talked to your department about how you feel you're struggling with the workload? They can be really helpful with making things that bit easier, e.g. giving essay extensions etc. If you ever need a hand with anything just let me know! Been through it all before xx

Temaz

Just feel totally numb, just floating through the day.

Princess Peach

Izzie11 wrote: »

Have to see GP tomorrow to renew prescription. Feel so sick thinking about it

I used to be the exact same! Would get so nervous everytime before the doctors. Was never really sure why. Maybe I was afraid she would think I wasn't doing well and change my meds or something?

It was always fine afterwards though. I got past it after a while. Probably just having to see the doctor so bloody often! I remember there was about 6 months in 2010 when I had to see her monthly. She was nice though and only charged me every second month.

Just focus on how you feel after you see the doctor and try and remember that for the next time.

Novella

Have been doing really well for the past few months but the last 3 or 4 days... not great. I'm not depressed but I'm irritable as hell, I mean EVERYTHING is annoying me. I can't sleep and I just can't relax, sit still. I can't stop. I'm not feeling particularly well at all. Gonna have to wait 'til Monday to see a doctor.

Rosiestar

Was awake again at 4.30 this morning and got up. Was up until 11am and then went back to bed until 1pm. It's 4pm now and I'm still in my p.j.'s. - not good.

My partner will be back from work soon and he will be so disappointed to see me in this state again. I'm wondering if the depression has been deepened by the steroids which I have been taking. I finished the two week course today thankfully. I have lost what little interest I had in anything completely. I just have to try and get myself together enough until my next psych appointment on 8th March. I have to keep myself out of hospital. I don't want any more ECT.

nesf

Mood ok but really "fragile" today. Not out of the woods yet but have had too better days in a row which is promising. Still finding it hard to have an interest in things but slowly am regaining some kind of hope for doing things in the future which I haven't had for over two months.

HalloweenJack

Gillo wrote: »

Agh, can't figure out my mood, I'm like the Duke of York, neither up nor down. Day off today, so I got up and went to the gym, glad I went otherwise I'd be stuck at home all day, but can't concentrate on anything or even think what I want (can't even choose what music to listen to, all the albums in my iPod there is something wrong with them- I mean I should like them I put them on it).

I'm like this at the moment, highly irritable and my mood seems to be split in two. The iPod thing is word for word what I've been doing all day.

I'm excited about some things that are happening in my life (making new friends, finally back playing football after a long time, possibility of getting a new job, thinking about my long-term future which has me excited) but other things are worrying me (my current job pays very well but I'm unhappy in it, however, I'm not in a position to quit just yet, I've been told numerous times that it looks bad to have short spells in jobs on your CV; I've just gone through a horrible experience in my love life, which wasn't even that serious) but I'm refusing to think about them.

I know it's not healthy but I'm trying to focus on the positives and enjoy my (infrequent) good spell at the moment. I can see a dip in the road up ahead, though.

stupidusername

i've been doing ok lately. though i did forget how many worries I get when I start seeing someone. i'm constantly thinking about things, and I just wish I could have a rest from it. I wish my mind would stop analysing every little thing.

been keeping myself awake thinking about this stuff. last night was only a bit more than a half hour I think. i think it'll be worse tomorrow. have to help a friend with something awful tomorrow, and I know she'll be really really upset, and I will be too, there's no avoiding it. so I expect to be awake late tonight, even though my eyes were glued together this morning.

Kaching

Arranged to meet up with someone in a different city because we'd been talking for sometime now and then I get stood up without a phone call or text or anything in a whole other city .

I feel like sh*t

cloud493

Kaching wrote: »

Arranged to meet up with someone in a different city because we'd been talking for sometime now and then I get stood up without a phone call or text or anything in a whole other city .

I feel like sh*t

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you heard off them since?

fintonagirl

sitting here by myself browsing internet and having few drinks at the minute. i know i might not feel the better of it tomorrow but just want the kind of conked out sleep you get after a few...

Gillo

fintonagirl wrote: »

sitting here by myself browsing internet and having few drinks at the minute. i know i might not feel the better of it tomorrow but just want the kind of conked out sleep you get after a few...

Very tempted to do the same but working all weekend:( not going to risk a hangover and work!
Mood was ok today, although started dropping this evening, really don't get how it keeps changing???

Kaching

cloud493 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that. Have you heard off them since?

apparently I just slipped their mind , even though i was texting and ringing them all day