Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

degausserxo

Absolutely destroyed my arm. Spent the past six hours in a&e, seen to straight away thankfully. Stitches galore.

Gillo

cloud493 wrote: »

Might be the wrong place to ask, but... does anyone else find they talk to themselves? I've been doing it for a while, didn't put much heed to it, then recently I've been like. Hearing myself talk, without even realizing it.

I tend to do that, the fact I do it doesn't bother me, more the things that randomly come out, I'm not even aware I'm doing it, it just happens by itself.
Moods not great today, was low yesterday and dreading work, my performance has dropped a lot and they're starting disciplinary crap.

cloud493

I prefer not to think about what midland missus said, do we deserve. Bad for morale, so to speak. And i find, if I start thinking about things like that, it just... twists itself, in my own head, and I end up in A&E.

nesf

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I guess I have a lower form but for longer, because after 8 hours now, and being up all night in mental agony I'm finally feeling better. It scares me how I can be so bad one day and fine the next.

I wouldn't call it lower but different given how long it can last. I've been like what you describe a few times and it's hellish.

degausserxo

Has anyone ever taken Zyprexa? I've just been prescribed it and apparently a really common side effect is weight gain, which is something I really can't be dealing with now. If you have, how did you find it?

Temaz

degausserxo wrote: »

Has anyone ever taken Zyprexa? I've just been prescribed it and apparently a really common side effect is weight gain, which is something I really can't be dealing with now. If you have, how did you find it?

It has stabalised my 'mad rushing thoughts' I get so it's a great help. The
downside is drowsiness, craving sugary food which leads to weight gain but I work out and fight the cravings so have not put much on.

All in all Im glad I am on it, my mind is much calmer, Im still fighting depression and anxiety though.

nesf

degausserxo wrote: »

Has anyone ever taken Zyprexa? I've just been prescribed it and apparently a really common side effect is weight gain, which is something I really can't be dealing with now. If you have, how did you find it?

Yes, I've been on it. Yes it can cause weight gain. You have to exercise and watch what you eat on it (it can encourage overeating from what I remember). I gained quite a bit of weight on it but I ate all around me and made no effort (and was too sick) to watch what I was eating.

cloud493

Could not even go into an exam just then had a panic attack, couldn't stop, thinking, couldn't see, I was sick all over the floor, so I legged it

flyswatter

degausserxo wrote: »

Has anyone ever taken Zyprexa? I've just been prescribed it and apparently a really common side effect is weight gain, which is something I really can't be dealing with now. If you have, how did you find it?

I was on it for nearly 3 years. Fair enough, it's a powerful drug for fighting psychosis, but its notorious for weight gain, I put on 4 stone in 3 months on it. The scary thing was the damage it did weight wise in that short amount of time.

jammstarr

Starting to get seriously anxious about the college course now. We were given a course outline for one subject only today and it's loads of work. I'm dreading what the two other subjects will be like.

I noticed today that even when I'm anxious and feel like shit I still put on a smile and laugh with others. Why do I act like that? It's like I'm lying to myself and others. I don't want to be a buzzkill either though.

Kaching

jammstarr wrote: »

I don't want to be a buzzkill either though.

Thats why you do it

Gremlinertia

Not a bad day today (trying to not always post when scraping the bottom!) Think my mind is open to realising a few things now, i've always been one for fixing other people's problems, thought i was being nice. Think though it was deflecting from my own issues. Feels good to come to a logical - not massively paranoid - conclusion about something for once. How's everyone online at the moment?

midlandsmissus

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Not a bad day today (trying to not always post when scraping the bottom!) Think my mind is open to realising a few things now, i've always been one for fixing other people's problems, thought i was being nice. Think though it was deflecting from my own issues. Feels good to come to a logical - not massively paranoid - conclusion about something for once. How's everyone online at the moment?

Better than yesterday. My dark night of the soul last night. Does anyone else on here always worry are they reacting normally when talking to some-one else? Like I worry about reactions, eye contact etc.

midlandsmissus

degausserxo wrote: »

Absolutely destroyed my arm. Spent the past six hours in a&e, seen to straight away thankfully. Stitches galore.

Having never self harmed I can't really understand. Why did you that? My first thought was "Ah Degrausser why did you do that "

Gremlinertia

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Better than yesterday. My dark night of the soul last night. Does anyone else on here always worry are they reacting normally when talking to some-one else? Like I worry about reactions, eye contact etc.

Oh hell yes, i find myself 'rehearsing' conversations so i don't make a fool of myself, trying to keep still so none of my movements are taken as crazy, paranoia making me second guess things people are saying. Sometimes it feels like my mind is trying to keep a dozen or more hula hoops going, can be just exhausting. I try to take time outs for myself to catch my breath. Are you trying anything to help?

Aoifums

Really, really awful day today. It took me two hours to pull myself out of bed and I completely messed up my routine. College was so stressful and I was only there for a three hour lab. I still flipped out in the middle of it and had to leave for a bit. There's a problem with a couple of the girls in my course that I was really hoping I was just imagining but turns out I wasn't. I was watching telly with the parents and I wanted to burst out crying. I just feel like I've so much to juggle now, even though I don't have that much to do. I really feel like doing something stupid now and I'm trying to talk myself out of it.

Gremlinertia

Aoifums wrote: »

Really, really awful day today. It took me two hours to pull myself out of bed and I completely messed up my routine. College was so stressful and I was only there for a three hour lab. I still flipped out in the middle of it and had to leave for a bit. There's a problem with a couple of the girls in my course that I was really hoping I was just imagining but turns out I wasn't. I was watching telly with the parents and I wanted to burst out crying. I just feel like I've so much to juggle now, even though I don't have that much to do. I really feel like doing something stupid now and I'm trying to talk myself out of it.

While what i say will sound like a cliche, i believe cliches are there for a reason - hold on til the morning, the course you're doing, surely there are class tutors or some other support there, or some avenue for you to find someone to talk to? Or if that doesn't feel right for you now, feel free to pm me. I'm a captive audience these days! Hopefully you'll sleep for a while tonight.

jammstarr

Aoifums wrote: »

Really, really awful day today. It took me two hours to pull myself out of bed and I completely messed up my routine. College was so stressful and I was only there for a three hour lab. I still flipped out in the middle of it and had to leave for a bit. There's a problem with a couple of the girls in my course that I was really hoping I was just imagining but turns out I wasn't. I was watching telly with the parents and I wanted to burst out crying. I just feel like I've so much to juggle now, even though I don't have that much to do. I really feel like doing something stupid now and I'm trying to talk myself out of it.

Things might seem shitty now but might not seem so bad tomorrow.

cloud493

The Night is darkest just before the dawn

nesf

Aoifums wrote: »

Really, really awful day today. It took me two hours to pull myself out of bed and I completely messed up my routine. College was so stressful and I was only there for a three hour lab. I still flipped out in the middle of it and had to leave for a bit. There's a problem with a couple of the girls in my course that I was really hoping I was just imagining but turns out I wasn't. I was watching telly with the parents and I wanted to burst out crying. I just feel like I've so much to juggle now, even though I don't have that much to do. I really feel like doing something stupid now and I'm trying to talk myself out of it.

You can only go up after you've hit rock bottom. Etc.

cloud493

Got back from the hospital a few hours ago. More stitches

talullah

cloud493 wrote: »

Got back from the hospital a few hours ago. More stitches

Never cut myself badly enough to need stitches but my arm is a mess at the minute. o/h seen a bit of it when my sleave slid up and gave out to me, he doesn't understand it, he thinks I make a concious decision to just do it and that I can decide to just stop. wish it was that simple. I wouldnt even show him the rest of my arm, he doesnt need to see it.

Temaz

Had to get some valium and halcion from the doctor. im in hell.

cloud493

talullah wrote: »

Never cut myself badly enough to need stitches but my arm is a mess at the minute. o/h seen a bit of it when my sleave slid up and gave out to me, he doesn't understand it, he thinks I make a concious decision to just do it and that I can decide to just stop. wish it was that simple. I wouldnt even show him the rest of my arm, he doesnt need to see it.

I think if 'he' is your boyfriend, he's going to see eventually you know. You should talk to him.

degausserxo

midlandsmissus wrote: »

degausserxo wrote: »

Absolutely destroyed my arm. Spent the past six hours in a&e, seen to straight away thankfully. Stitches galore.

Having never self harmed I can't really understand. Why did you that? My first thought was "Ah Degrausser why did you do that "

Momentary lapse really. Hasnt done anything like that for months.

Thanks for the concern, it's really sweet.

Temaz

Totally numb from the valium.

nesf

cloud493 wrote: »

Got back from the hospital a few hours ago. More stitches

Ever heard of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behaviour_therapy

They were putting people who self harmed a lot onto a program of it in hospital when I was there.

Kaching

talullah wrote: »

Never cut myself badly enough to need stitches but my arm is a mess at the minute.

Same

cloud493

nesf wrote: »

Ever heard of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behaviour_therapy

They were putting people who self harmed a lot onto a program of it in hospital when I was there.

Well they didn't suggest it when I was in. Quick word with the psych, then on my way. Not sure if thats good or not

Gremlinertia

Odd day, it's like i can't remember any of it. Arm nearly better enough to do it again so maybe i'm just waiting on that. Next week i have my first appointment in the psych dept. Not expecting too much for starters but i hope they see how things are with me and keep making appointments. I'm so effing tired that i don't feel i can fight it for myself sometimes.