Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

midlandsmissus

cloud493 wrote: »

Got back from the hospital a few hours ago. More stitches

Cloud you seem to be in and out of A and E quite a lot. Who are you living with. Is no-one looking after you?

midlandsmissus

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Odd day, it's like i can't remember any of it. Arm nearly better enough to do it again so maybe i'm just waiting on that. Next week i have my first appointment in the psych dept. Not expecting too much for starters but i hope they see how things are with me and keep making appointments. I'm so effing tired that i don't feel i can fight it for myself sometimes.

Can you elaborate on the "arm nearly better enough to do it again", do you do it over and over? I'm annoyed if you are and the hospitals are just sending you home. :mad: Mental health care is a joke in this country.

cloud493

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Cloud you seem to be in and out of A and E quite a lot. Who are you living with. Is no-one looking after you?

I don't really need looking after or at the very most, don't deserve it. I've been in 5 times in a year, thats not bad I reckon

nesf

cloud493 wrote: »

Well they didn't suggest it when I was in. Quick word with the psych, then on my way. Not sure if thats good or not

That's A&E. I'm talking about in-patient care. Vincents runs a program for it iirc in Dublin. Maybe some other places too. The Mercy runs one in Cork but it's oversubscribed and only open to the North Lee catchment area.

midlandsmissus

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't really need looking after or at the very most, don't deserve it. I've been in 5 times in a year, thats not bad I reckon

5 times in a year is not great to be honest. And if you're self harming to that extent you do need looking after. What do they say to you in A and E?

Gremlinertia

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Can you elaborate on the "arm nearly better enough to do it again", do you do it over and over? I'm annoyed if you are and the hospitals are just sending you home. :mad: Mental health care is a joke in this country.

Yeah first few times amazed me when my head got back together later and i realised i was sent out in the middle of the night. Still, it'll be grand, the resources are stretched, and i wouldn't really be high priority. Maybe they knew until now i wasn't quite ready for help. This year will tell a lot. Thanks for asking about it though.

midlandsmissus

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Yeah first few times amazed me when my head got back together later and i realised i was sent out in the middle of the night. Still, it'll be grand, the resources are stretched, and i wouldn't really be high priority. Maybe they knew until now i wasn't quite ready for help. This year will tell a lot. Thanks for asking about it though.

Can I ask, as I don't self harm, what do you actually get out of it? Some kind of mental release? Is there anything else you could turn to to give you some release when you feel overwhelmed? I'm not judging, just sad that you would do that to your poor body. You, and your body deserve more.

talullah

cloud493 wrote: »

I think if 'he' is your boyfriend, he's going to see eventually you know. You should talk to him.

Yea I know, i just don't like trying to explain it to him when tbh i dont really understand it myself if you know what i mean. He knows I do it and has seen the cuts at times but he thought i stopped (i had for a while) he goes crazy when he sees it, i guess he's worried for me. I've been trying to get him reading up about self-harm so that maybe he'd understand it better.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Odd day, it's like i can't remember any of it.

Know the feeling.

midlandsmissus

Temaz wrote: »

Had to get some valium and halcion from the doctor. im in hell.

Hug. Hope you feel better soon.

cloud493

Its very kind of you But I'm going to be fine. Gonna figure something out, without inpatient treatment. Decided to go back to pieta today, for a start.

midlandsmissus

cloud493 wrote: »

Its very kind of you But I'm going to be fine. Gonna figure something out, without inpatient treatment. Decided to go back to pieta today, for a start.

See the suicidal thread just started, can you please advise the OP about Pieta House?

talullah

Damn it, just realised i forgot to take my meds again. I have such a sieve head it drives me mad.

cloud493

talullah wrote: »

Damn it, just realised i forgot to take my meds again. I have such a sieve head it drives me mad.

Take them now?

Gremlinertia

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Can I ask, as I don't self harm, what do you actually get out of it? Some kind of mental release? Is there anything else you could turn to to give you some release when you feel overwhelmed? I'm not judging, just sad that you would do that to your poor body. You, and your body deserve more.

There's a release of some sort, but i can't really explain it. Sometimes it's like releasing a valve, that there's too much pressure in me. More times the pain is a real, tangible thing that i can process instead of things in my head that i can't quantify. I think that's the best i can explain it without going too in depth in public - hate the idea i might encourage someone.

midlandsmissus

Gremlinertia wrote: »

There's a release of some sort, but i can't really explain it. Sometimes it's like releasing a valve, that there's too much pressure in me. More times the pain is a real, tangible thing that i can process instead of things in my head that i can't quantify. I think that's the best i can explain it without going too in depth in public - hate the idea i might encourage someone.

I think once you do it once you get into an addictive spiral of doing it again. There are other ways to release tension in you. I find physical aggression can release pent up mental anger. Did you ever try boxing a punching bag? I'd reccomend it.

nesf

Gremlinertia wrote: »

There's a release of some sort, but i can't really explain it. Sometimes it's like releasing a valve, that there's too much pressure in me. More times the pain is a real, tangible thing that i can process instead of things in my head that i can't quantify. I think that's the best i can explain it without going too in depth in public - hate the idea i might encourage someone.

It's damn addictive. It's also unhealthy. There are other ways to get release, it's important to look for ones that work for you. Speaking as someone with scars on their arm obviously.

cloud493

Punching a boxing bag doesn't do it for me unfortunately I shall call pieta house in the morning

jammstarr

It's something I've done occasionally but thankfully I've never done any serious damage.

Gremlinertia

For me, it's inevitable for now. As i've said i'm actually working on things this year, like seeing a psychologist to help get better, i managed not to injure myself for well over a year before but did some pretty bad stuff when i gave in so just trying to keep a handle on it for now. I don't expect it to be understood, i'm just glad that i finally found somewhere where i can talk about it. (Sorry if this whole thing doesn't make sense, i've struggled writing it)

jammstarr

Gremlinertia wrote: »

For me, it's inevitable for now. As i've said i'm actually working on things this year, like seeing a psychologist to help get better, i managed not to injure myself for well over a year before but did some pretty bad stuff when i gave in so just trying to keep a handle on it for now. I don't expect it to be understood, i'm just glad that i finally found somewhere where i can talk about it. (Sorry if this whole thing doesn't make sense, i've struggled writing it)

You were able to stop for a whole year once before so you'll be able to do it again and for longer. It might take some work but I'm sure you'll be ok

Gremlinertia

Came to a crossroads this year, so there will be changes, hopefully a healthier attitude, hopefully this year is good for a lot of us here.

jammstarr

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hopefully this year is good for a lot of us here.

Same here

nesf

I hate this ****, I'm sedated but really don't want to sleep and can't settle down.

midlandsmissus

nesf wrote: »

I hate this ****, I'm sedated but really don't want to sleep and can't settle down.

Im up again. Stupid sleeping patterns all over d shop. Hot chocolate is keeping me going.

nesf

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Im up again. Stupid sleeping patterns all over d shop. Hot chocolate is keeping me going.

That makes two of us then.

Edit: Haven't slept before 4am since, well I can't remember actually.

midlandsmissus

nesf wrote: »

That makes two of us then.

Edit: Haven't slept before 4am since, well I can't remember actually.

Life is tiring. I wish I could think of something good in my life: my mum and my brother is all I can think of. I'm lucky to have them.

nesf

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Life is tiring. I wish I could think of something good in my life: my mum and my brother is all I can think of. I'm lucky to have them.

Yeah I try to focus on the kids and my wife but when things are bad I have trouble appreciating them.

deadmanshand08

Hi guys been reading thru a lot of posts as I have a friend how suffers from depression.. was just wondering do or did any of Ye ever have a hobby that u really loved before Ye got depressed? I know without my music i prob Wud be prone to depression... I can imagine if that without a focal point in ur life ( girlfriend, good career etc ) , life Wud be depressing.. or are some pll just prone to it without anything triggering it ?

nesf

deadmanshand08 wrote: »

Hi guys been reading thru a lot of posts as I have a friend how suffers from depression.. was just wondering do or did any of Ye ever have a hobby that u really loved before Ye got depressed? I know without my music i prob Wud be prone to depression... I can imagine if that without a focal point in ur life ( girlfriend, good career etc ) , life Wud be depressing.. or are some pll just prone to it without anything triggering it ?

I've a metric ****ton of hobbies and interests, from cooking and reading to music and computer games. I've a loving wife and two young kids. I've a lot of good friends who care about me and parents and siblings who I get on well with. A good relationship with my in-laws.

I still get depressed. A lot. But yes, without all of the above I'd be a lot worse off.

Gremlinertia

Hmm, i only seem to move from bed to couch and back these days. Really need to motivate myself to head for the outside world. it's like i'm building a little comfort zone here. Today i will go walking for a while i hope.