Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Princess Peach

Not been doing too well lately, but i feel hopeful about it as what's making anxious and upset are all situational factors. As opposed to times in the past when i couldn't really attribute my depression to anything in particular. I'm probably over analysing life right now, meaning that I'm just going through a bad patch like all people do, but letting it get to me more because of my history.

But some of the things getting me down will be fixed with passing time, and others I can fix myself somehow. Might make an appointment with my psychologist to talk through how to deal with the stress before it pulls me to the bottom Think it's the best route of action since my anti anxiety prescription needs to be filled and that was my only train of thought of how to fix things, more drugs

noah45

Hi all, I post the odd time but it has been ages since last post. Feeling okish, went downhill when doc reduced my meds and it has taken 2 years on the increased meds to stabilize again.
I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I can function ok.

I find winter very hard, has to be SAD, I used a lamp but not certain tat it helps.

The main concern I have at the moment is people's attitude to depression. Recently a local girl was admitted to hospital for depression and peoples comments really hurt me.

Some saying "sure what would she be depressed about?" "why would she be and she having a great job and all?" They just don't get it.
Another gave out that really this poor girl should cop on and decide to get help.

It infuriates me that people just don't understand that depression is not a person just feeling sorry for themselves and wallowing in pity. It's no wonder that there is still a stigma attached to it.

Da Shins Kelly

noah45 wrote: »

Hi all, I post the odd time but it has been ages since last post. Feeling okish, went downhill when doc reduced my meds and it has taken 2 years on the increased meds to stabilize again.
I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I can function ok.

I find winter very hard, has to be SAD, I used a lamp but not certain tat it helps.

The main concern I have at the moment is people's attitude to depression. Recently a local girl was admitted to hospital for depression and peoples comments really hurt me.

Some saying "sure what would she be depressed about?" "why would she be and she having a great job and all?" They just don't get it.
Another gave out that really this poor girl should cop on and decide to get help.

It infuriates me that people just don't understand that depression is not a person just feeling sorry for themselves and wallowing in pity. It's no wonder that there is still a stigma attached to it.

And I really don't understand where the stigma comes from, because most people I know have experienced depression in some form or another in their lives or at least know someone close to them who has, so it's not as though it's an affliction of a minority.

flyswatter

noah45 wrote: »

Hi all, I post the odd time but it has been ages since last post. Feeling okish, went downhill when doc reduced my meds and it has taken 2 years on the increased meds to stabilize again.
I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I can function ok.

I find winter very hard, has to be SAD, I used a lamp but not certain tat it helps.

The main concern I have at the moment is people's attitude to depression. Recently a local girl was admitted to hospital for depression and peoples comments really hurt me.

Some saying "sure what would she be depressed about?" "why would she be and she having a great job and all?" They just don't get it.
Another gave out that really this poor girl should cop on and decide to get help.

It infuriates me that people just don't understand that depression is not a person just feeling sorry for themselves and wallowing in pity. It's no wonder that there is still a stigma attached to it.

People are just idiots, classic Irish parochialism.

Hersheys

What a car crash of a few days. If it could go wrong it did. Took sleepers past 2 nights - there was no way I was sleeping without them. Slept ok, about 7 hours uninterrupted. Didn't take one tonight, been awake on/off since 11 in a depressive episode moreso than anxiety. I just want it all to be over.

Gremlinertia

Mood swings, mind feels like one of those poor leaves getting tossed around outside. Then i feel guilty since there's not that much wrong in my life, i still kind of have the mentality from home 'if it ain't visible it doesn't exist' vicious ever decreasing circles.

Princess Peach

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Mood swings, mind feels like one of those poor leaves getting tossed around outside. Then i feel guilty since there's not that much wrong in my life, i still kind of have the mentality from home 'if it ain't visible it doesn't exist' vicious ever decreasing circles.

Don't feel guilty though! It's kinda what I was trying to get at in my last post. Depression is an illness cause by chemical imbalances, it doesn't have to be because you have something wrong in your life!

I realised that right now it is stuff going on in my life that's bringing me down, rather than previously when it was my illness, if you get me!

Just because you can't pinpoint a situation that's making you feel this way doesn't mean you can't find a way to fight though I thought like that before but worked with a great counselor who made me face up to things in my life I hadn't even thought of as problems.

NegativeCreep

I've discovered that when I accomplish something my mood improves exponentially! I've just completed a shitload of college work to a really high standard and I couldn't be happier Also, getting good grades makes me happy too. Haven't gotten under 65% in anything in college so far which is making me feel great
I'm also very competitive and when I beat my friends with my grades I secretly become happy That's awful but I don't care cause I'm finally happy for a while

Da Shins Kelly

^^ Doing well usually lifts my spirits too, and I know that I'm very capable at what I study and could very well have a career in my field, but recently I haven't even felt very happy about doing well in college. Well done to you though! It's good to keep plugging away!

Had an awful day today. Actually started crying a little bit when sitting outside a lecture hall waiting for the class before mine to finish. I don't even know why. Just feel very lonely for some reason. Only a few tears got out though because there was a man sitting beside me and I didn't want him to see me or say anything.

mareliada

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

^^ Doing well usually lifts my spirits too, and I know that I'm very capable at what I study and could very well have a career in my field, but recently I haven't even felt very happy about doing well in college. Well done to you though! It's good to keep plugging away!

Had an awful day today. Actually started crying a little bit when sitting outside a lecture hall waiting for the class before mine to finish. I don't even know why. Just feel very lonely for some reason. Only a few tears got out though because there was a man sitting beside me and I didn't want him to see me or say anything.

sorry to hear this loneliness is hard, iv kept a diary when at points wen had no one to talk to, still do at times. Feels good to hav somewhere to put the thoughts and can b good wen reading back over. Helps to appreciate wen there are better days and give hope that bad days pass. Good luck jope yer mood lifts

dinorebel

Have never really suffered from depression before but the last few months I've felt a bit down which has got worse the last couple of weeks.This week though it has hit me with a vengeance have been constantly on the verge of tears and getting angry at everything and nothing Dr prescribed Cymbalta 60mg which I really hope works as this is awful.

thoughtwheel

Hi folks,
I'm having a hard time accepting that I have depression, despite it being a problem for a long time now, years. Various professionals have told me it's down to my situation, that when things change, I'll get better. the problem is none of these professionals know what I was like years ago. I think now, looking back, depression is something that's been in the background since I was a teenager, but it only became apparent as life got more challenging, and that's when I went looking for help. I've had several bad episodes over the last 5 years, the worst this year, which kept me out of work for 4 months. But, despite eventually climbing out of the hole, I seem determined to put myself back in it. I've slipped a lot the last few weeks, and can't summon up the drive to do anything about it. I desperately want someone else to make it better for me. That said, things are nowhere near as bad as they were 6 months ago. But i'm so disappointed, because I thought once I got better last time, that was it, no more depression.
I'd really like to hear from anyone else in a similar situation now or in the past, and how you helped yourself with it. I know at the end of the day I'm the only one who can fix this, just right now I really don't want to.
Thanks

Gremlinertia

Goin to a gig tonight, hoping to god my humour stays together for it.. Serious track record of huge mood swings before/during big events, anyone else the same?.

flyswatter

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Goin to a gig tonight, hoping to god my humour stays together for it.. Serious track record of huge mood swings before/during big events, anyone else the same?.

Happened about 5 years ago, huge swing from before the gig started (psychotic, hearing voices, uneasy) but I loved the music and after those feelings were wiped away. Good mood might have had something to do with it, I really don't know. Wasn't medicated at the time, I know that.

Gremlinertia

I'm looking forward to it, but scared that because i'm going alone i'll feel bad or have a mood swing.

neemish

After big events comes my nose dive...especially Christmas. Trying to play it down this year in the hope that I won't dip as much by New YEar's Eve

flyswatter

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm looking forward to it, but scared that because i'm going alone i'll feel bad or have a mood swing.

Plenty of people go alone to gigs, just enjoy the show. There should be people you can start chatting to if you want although if you don't want to that's fine.

Da Shins Kelly

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'm looking forward to it, but scared that because i'm going alone i'll feel bad or have a mood swing.

I've gone to gigs alone. You'll be fine! Once the gig starts people aren't even really talking to each other anyway, they're just singing and dancing. People won't think you're weird if you want to strike up a conversation anyway. We worry so much about what other people would think, but I know that if someone who was alone at a gig came up to me or my friends and started talking to us, we wouldn't think it was weird. Why would anyone else think it was weird if you or I did the same?

Had an unsettling morning. Had a horrible nightmare during the night and when I woke up, I was just laying there, very warm (probably from sweating during the dream) and kept thinking I could hear someone calling me. I heard my name repeated more than once and the first time actually made me jump, but when I finally got out of bed shortly later, I realised that none of my housemates were home. I'm telling myself that it was just something to do with the nightmare, but it's left me feeling pretty uneasy all day.

How so Joe

I would actually happily stay in my house and not leave it at all in the next week, or whatever. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

noah45

How so Joe wrote: »

I would actually happily stay in my house and not leave it at all in the next week, or whatever. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I know that feeling only too well. It does pass though so keep that in mind.
How are you today?

noah45

dinorebel wrote: »

Have never really suffered from depression before but the last few months I've felt a bit down which has got worse the last couple of weeks.This week though it has hit me with a vengeance have been constantly on the verge of tears and getting angry at everything and nothing Dr prescribed Cymbalta 60mg which I really hope works as this is awful.

It takes a while for meds to kick in but one day you realise that you feel ok, and its an amazing feeling, so just give it time. I know its horrible in the meantime.

How are you today?

Gremlinertia

I survived, but had very bad mood swing and had to go home before it was over, glad i got as far along as i did. Hibernation for the next while, which the weather is enabling fortunately. How is everyone else tonight?

noah45

A lot of family issues going on at the moment which is hard but surviving so far.
Sat by fire today it was so nice not to have to go out.

Gremlinertia

Yeah night in here too listening to rain belting off the window.. Telly could be better but other than that it's pretty ok..

flyswatter

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Yeah night in here too listening to rain belting off the window.. Telly could be better but other than that it's pretty ok..

Happy to hear you did well at that concert.

My anxiety has very suddenly taken control of me again. I've had periods like this in the past where I'd just suddenly be too confused to leave the flat, and can't walk straight cause I'm shaking too much, and shut the whole world out. I have been under some stresses lately I guess, not least of which I lost a very precious pet this week. Last time this happened I know I just upped sticks and went to my boyfriend's house for a few days, however, he's not on the scene anymore. I was in my parents' house last night (for a totally unrelated reason) and the nightmares were really severe. Real horrific stuff. I wont go into it. Woke up constantly with pains in my chest and the urge to vomit. Been shaking all night, and am dreading work tomorrow so bad that I want to call in sick. That will cause more problems than it'll solve though.

I wont take benzos, they disagree with me and make me very depressed. I'm not actually depressed, I'm just having one of these attacks. I'm going to have to tell me boss what's happening, there is no way around it, and that itself is making my journey into work tomorrow look very long and very frightening.

dinorebel

noah45 wrote: »

It takes a while for meds to kick in but one day you realise that you feel ok, and its an amazing feeling, so just give it time. I know its horrible in the meantime.

How are you today?

Had a couple of better days with the downs being more episodic than before wonder how much of that is down to actually admitting I had issues and seeing a Dr as it is to the meds.

Hersheys

Bad few weeks

Really low tonight. Insomnias kicked in. Panic central.

Have tried talking to my friends but they all don't seem to understand my state of mind.

I know I need to see a doctor but I honestly can't face the questions. And the reaction when I give an honest answer

Life sucks.

noah45

Hersheys wrote: »

Bad few weeks

Really low tonight. Insomnias kicked in. Panic central.

Have tried talking to my friends but they all don't seem to understand my state of mind.

I know I need to see a doctor but I honestly can't face the questions. And the reaction when I give an honest answer

Life sucks.

Sorry you are feeling so down but please go to the doctor, it will make a difference. Can you change gps? I find friends/people really don't understand and I find gp great.
You have nothing to loose so please go today.
I DO know how awful it feels when you are down.

Hersheys

noah45 wrote: »

Sorry you are feeling so down but please go to the doctor, it will make a difference. Can you change gps? I find friends/people really don't understand and I find gp great.
You have nothing to loose so please go today.
I DO know how awful it feels when you are down.

I have a great GP but he's the other side of the county. I recently relocated with work and am yet to find a good replacement doctor - I've been to a few & they just dont listen