Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Hersheys

cloud493 wrote: »

I was going to, but then, my sister started crying cos she was upset, so I was there till 4 giving her a cuddle. Didn't want to after that. How are you doing neemish?

Well done cloud - proud of you.

If its any consolation I know how you feel - I slept last night and woke up ok but since I got up I've got such an urge

neemish

cloud493 wrote: »

I was going to, but then, my sister started crying cos she was upset, so I was there till 4 giving her a cuddle. Didn't want to after that. How are you doing neemish?

That is absolutely brilliant cloud. So proud of you. Hugs.
Bad night this end. Had a very long day at work and couldn't settle. Ended up getting up that time and having a cuppa. Got about four hrs. Just getting up now to head back to work. Feel like i was never away from it!

norrie rugger

Great to hear Cloud. Maybe ask your sister to return the favour, of a cuddle, next time you feel like you did?
I know the one thing that always brings me back leve is a hug from my wife

Gillo

Nice one Cloud:D

Gremlinertia

Couldn't face counselling today. Can't even leave house yet. Waste of time..

LegacyUser

Hiya
Didnt know this existed actually and not sure if Im even doing the right thing posting here.

I went to my GP last month for what I described as feeling very anxious, and despite ebing able to rationalise in my brain the situation, my body kept reacting; terrible shakes, dry mouth, and crying. It happens more so obviously when the attention is on me, but the prompt to go to the GP was after a number (about 5) times it happended while sitting on the sofa at home or on the train, or in my room... the crying is the worst, well the shakes too. I also told him I was anxious about going home for Xmas; I have a possible funeral to attend, family grievances to manage etc, and I find xmas hard enough, and didnt want to be drawing attention to myself at thse family events if Im a quivering ball of crying jelly.

He suggested I have blood tests for thyroid in case, came back all clear. I saw him this week and he gave me a montn of 20mg Citalopram, which I am terrifed to start taking because a) Im having a great week this week b) do I really want to take it when Im feeling great and ruin that? c) do I really want to take it when Im feeling dreadful and feel even worse?

Not looking for med advice here btw only sharing my experience.

I had seen the GP last year about feeling similar but he referred me for counselling but I didnt meet the threshold. Ive tried again and waiting on a callback.

Agh good to get it all out.

handbagmad

Hi everyone. I re-registered formely Ashblag.

Im back for some support and a rant.

Been on a path of self desctruction for the past few months drinking harming ect. Currently on 225 effexor was on centrax too but they wont give them to me anymore!!!!
Following my last appt they want to set up CBT councelling? anyone any experience with this?
Also want to put me on this self harm programme???? problem is I find it hard to talk i have anxiety just thinking about it..so i think this would just be a waste of time!

cloud493

My sisters only 8, she loves getting cuddles :rolleyes: I just don't wanna worry her.

Hey ashblag you won't know about the self harm program till you try right?

darkhorse

cloud493 wrote: »

My sisters only 8, she loves getting cuddles :rolleyes: I just don't wanna worry her.

I can tell that you love your sister to bits, and that little girl need and loves you, too. So please keep thinking that, and please always be there for her, as your love for her is the best medication that you'll ever need. You keep cuddling her and be happy, and she will see your happiness and in turn she will be happy and content. You sound like a good sister, well done.

Captain Graphite

Insomniac self indulgent waffle time....

I've been doing ok for the past few months. Have managed nearly six months without anti-depressants.
But I think that happy period is coming to an end now.

No matter how hard I try, everything I want is gonna keep eluding me. No matter how far I progress or grow, I'll always have too much of a distance ahead to make up. Every time I try and learn or understand something new, I just get stupider. Every time I resolve to fix a problem I go and make it ten times worse.

I really REALLY tried so hard to make 2012 work; going to China, starting an MSc, putting myself out there more and trying to make friends better.....on the face of it everything is nice but it's not really changed anything has it? I'm still the fúcking bitter, useless, self-sabotaging underachiever I was last year and the year before.

norrie rugger

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Insomniac self indulgent waffle time....

I've been doing ok for the past few months. Have managed nearly six months without anti-depressants.
But I think that happy period is coming to an end now.

No matter how hard I try, everything I want is gonna keep eluding me. No matter how far I progress or grow, I'll always have too much of a distance ahead to make up. Every time I try and learn or understand something new, I just get stupider. Every time I resolve to fix a problem I go and make it ten times worse.

I really REALLY tried so hard to make 2012 work; going to China, starting an MSc, putting myself out there more and trying to make friends better.....on the face of it everything is nice but it's not really changed anything has it? I'm still the fúcking bitter, useless, self-sabotaging underachiever I was last year and the year before.

This is the part that always manages to make me feel worse.

Knowing my potential and ability but never being able to get to a state of mind to actually achieve it.

handbagmad

cloud493 wrote: »

My sisters only 8, she loves getting cuddles :rolleyes: I just don't wanna worry her.

Hey ashblag you won't know about the self harm program till you try right?

Cheers cloud just the fear of the unknown I guess. I might actually learn to find my voice. Hope your doing ok x
Missed ye all here neemish,hersheys and the rest of you all great really to have people that can relate to all this.
Glad to be back xx

neemish

Welcome back handbagmad! We missed you around here. How are you doing today?

Hersheys

So just a quick update.

I'm back on the meds as of last night.

I got through to my old GP and he advised me what to do based on what he knows of me. We've altered the doses (increased one, decreased the other) for a few days and we'll re-evaluate early next week. So far I don't feel much different, still experiencing the withdrawal effects etc but more confident that someone knows and listened to what I had to say.

I'm exhausted today. Even though I slept last night the meds I increased make me drowsy in the daytime.

Hope everyone is well.

neemish

Well done Hersheys! You know yourself, it'll take a week or two for things to settle with the meds but keep with it.

Am thrilled that your GP finally got back to you. At least you were listened to and had a chat about the whole thing. Are you working over the weekend?

Hersheys

Ya I'll be in. I'm gonna reward myself with a lie in one of the days though, the meds will have me wrecked!!

neemish

Had a half day yesterday. Was absolutely brilliant - was in bed at 2.30pm, woke for an hour at 9, back to bed slept through the night. And boy, do I feel the better for it

Gillo

Absolute day from hell in work, I'd one of the directors in this morning, he left and it was grand then it just seemed like the stupid bus rolled into town (yeah, I love dealing with the public).
Other than that my moods okish, just counting down the hours to go home...

NegativeCreep

Holy fuck Anxiety and caffeine do not mix well!!!
Had wayyyy to much coffee and now I actually feel like I have psychosis. Guilty, depressed, euphoric and mental all at the same time. Haven't blinked in like 2 hours.
Hope this doesn't last too long or I will actually go out of my mind.

jaffacakesyum

Never posted on here. I've been depressed for most of my life but I decided this year to finally do something about it. I went to my GP...expected him to do some sort of assessment or have a questionnaire or something to fill in but no...anyway he recommended counselling so I'm in that at the moment but don't feel it's helping and in fact talking about things makes me more upset. My counseller is nice but doesn't really seem to do anything? Like are they just there to listen? Or is there different types of counselling...I would like to try a different approach. I don't know anything about it but I heard of cognitive behaviour therapy....has anyone had it and if so have you found it useful?

Thanks guys

Captain Graphite

norrie rugger wrote: »

This is the part that always manages to make me feel worse.

Knowing my potential and ability but never being able to get to a state of mind to actually achieve it.

I know how it feels. Deep down I know I'm not stupid and I could succeed academically at something I was really passionate about. Problem is there isn't anything I'm passionate enough about.

I was always top of my class in nearly every subject at school. I even got a scholarship when starting college because of my Leaving Cert results. It was about the end of my second year when I started getting depressed and I completely lost interest in my course. Kept going out of sheer stubbornness, earned a disappointing degree, took a year out and then bluffed my way into an MSc, telling myself "this time I know what to expect, this time it will be different." But it hasn't been. I'm still struggling with simple things that everyone else on my course gets straight away.

Five years ago I assumed I'd go to university, love it, do really well and go on to do a PhD and work as a top academic. Where the hell did my brain go since then?

Da Shins Kelly

Same as others, feel like I've been underachieving academically of late. Thing is, I am actually quite passionate about what I study, but I just can't seem to focus and I've actually found myself caring less and less about deadlines and reading material in recent weeks. I know I'm better than this and am capable of doing really well in my chosen field, but it just feels like it's all falling apart now.

Today has been a bad day. Have barely eaten, feel exhausted but can't sleep. Have been on the verge of tears at least three times today. Money problems has been added to my list of anxieties. I tried half-heartedly to explain it to my brother (nobody in my family actually realises how bad I feel), but he didn't seem to understand. I probably wasn't really explaining it properly. I want my family to know, but at the same time I don't.

leesa o

hiya there everyone ...am even anxious typing this ...have been just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder ...am going through a very traumatic time lately as this illness only came to light after going through detox from a ten year prescription meds abuse habit ...the anxiety is crippling and I cant seem to find a sense of who I am ...Im questioning my relationship with my partner who has shown nothing but support ...infact Im questioning everything ...Im so unsure of everything and worse of all Im afraid Ill never find myself again ...please is there anyone out there who can offer me any advise ?

cloud493

Might be a bit cliche(I've just been watching batman) but the night is darkest just before the dawn.

NegativeCreep

leesa o wrote: »

hiya there everyone ...am even anxious typing this ...have been just diagnosed with borderline personality disorder ...am going through a very traumatic time lately as this illness only came to light after going through detox from a ten year prescription meds abuse habit ...the anxiety is crippling and I cant seem to find a sense of who I am ...Im questioning my relationship with my partner who has shown nothing but support ...infact Im questioning everything ...Im so unsure of everything and worse of all Im afraid Ill never find myself again ...please is there anyone out there who can offer me any advise ?

Don't have any advice really other that to stick with your OH if he shows you support. It's difficult to find someone so willing to support someone with this affliction.

Also, remember your not the only person affected with this. Just look at the amount of people who have posted in this thread with similar problems. I sometimes take solace in this.

handbagmad

neemish wrote: »

Welcome back handbagmad! We missed you around here. How are you doing today?

hiya doing ok today been a week today since i last cut so pretty chuffed!
Have to leave my skin heal a few other cuts fairly sore:(

candykisses

I want to ask everyone a serious question (just in case you think I'm messing) is there anyone on here who doesn't have any friends??
I have somehow ended up in this situation and I am so lonely. I don't want to go into detail but something bad happened in my family and the whole family was torn apart. Both my parents have now died and I don't see any of my family anymore. I am now unemployed
; I use to run a business from home but it went belly up earlier this year. I'm so depressed all the time and I just don't know what to do
about it. I went to the doctors and got the usual anti-depressants but they were dreadful. I tried several different types but I just don't like the side effects. I just need to have people in my life but I've lost the ability to even chat to anyone anymore. I just keep crying all the time. Can't really see a way forward to be honest.

Call Me Jimmy

God I feel bad for you Luckily, I've managed to maintain my 3 closest friends through years of isolation, not going out etc. so whenever I do want to do something I can usually rely on them. Most of the time I don't want to though...

I can't really offer any advice, but I will say (and I don't want to sound glib), that if you are at a point having no friends or family, they ONLY way that will change is doing things outside. And ye don't need to tell me how hard that would be especially when you're low already but there is no getting around that it is what is needed to be done.

Maybe a point will come where you just can't stand it any more and almost force yourself out there out of loneliness/boredom. The combination of the two is the only thing that makes me step outside...

Anyway, as you know ye always have us here at the least.

Gillo

cloud493 wrote: »

Might be a bit cliche(I've just been watching batman) but the night is darkest just before the dawn.

I have to agree with you Cloud, I know I really hit rock bottom before I got the "kick up the ass" that helped me start getting better. The kick being I realised how crap my life was going. I'm not saying I'm not depressed now but looking back I'm a hell of a lot better than I was three years ago getting admitted to St. Pats at 3 am as an "emergency case".

Candy Kisses, I've been there and know what it's like not to have anyone. Two things I did were try getting in touch with old friends, I've one friend who even though I didn't see much at all it turns out he was always there just I wasn't making an effort to see him. I also joined a mountaineering club, it was something I used to enjoy but gave up years back so decided to try getting back into, I've now got friends through that. Yeah it was hard at first because I didn't know anyone in it but looking back it was worth making the effort.
I'd still say I have few few friends but I've more than I used to.

Glad to say, I'm doing ok yesterday seemed pretty crap but I'd a bit of a break through! Basically I was in work and left early to get home in time to watch the rugby match, anyway the bus was delayed because of a protest. I know it was something small but you know the way things can get to you so I was getting wound up. Then I realised what the protest was for and thinking about it figured; I'm pi€€ed off cos I'm going to miss the rugby match and there's a few thousand people protesting over the tragic death of that Indian lady in Galway, it very quickly put my problems into perspective.

Waffle over, now go read a more interesting post!

Princess Peach

I definitely don't have any friends I feel close to or comfortable enough to open up to about my problems. I used to but we grew apart and its been to long now for us to get that closeness back. Kinda feel I'm a bit too old now to make new best friends! I have plenty of friends who I can hang out with and have fun, just none I can talk to about important things. I'd like to but kinda resigned myself to the fact that its not going to happen for me.

I have a great boyfriend I can tell anything though. Its great, always felt like I had to hide part of myself from old boyfriends for fear of them not liking me