Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Rothko

I've been in a good mood for the past week or so but the last couple of days have been a bit topsy turvy. Since the medication has started working it's been easier to deal with a lot of the negative thoughts in my head. However, recently it's been getting difficult again. I can feel that old familiar sense of worthlessness coming back again and it's hard to shake it off. I just can't help but feel like I'm useless and will never amount to anything. I find myself constantly worrying about the future holds for me. I'm just glad that I'll be staying at home tonight as I'm really not in the mood for going out.

Anyway, I want to wish everyone here a happy new year and hopefully 2014 will be better for all of us.

handbagmad

The year is over, what's done is done,
Tomorrow brings a brand new one.

My wish for you all is small but true,
To be content and find the happiness with you.

Please be safe tonight all of you and I truly hope next year will be better for myself and every single one of you. Xx

murria

Someone just sent me this and I thought it was worth passing on.

"What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year."

Happy 2014 let it be a good one.

neemish

Happy New Year peoples. Here's hoping that 2014 brings good health for all of us.

NegativeCreep

Happy new year guys

writer_lady170

happy new year everyone:) hope its a great year for you all x

ulinbac

Happy New Years Peeps!!

Going to be a good year, can feel it

Marzipan85

lukesmom wrote: »

Does anybody else here obsess about the medications they are on? Like googling withdrawal symptoms when you come off them. I wind myself up so badly doing this . I'm due to come off one in feb that has caused me 2 stone weight gain and I keep hearing horror stories about coming off them even though I need to.

it's ironic that we're the ones most likely to obsess about taking different medications. like people who are habitually obsessive probably need to take medication, but they're also more likely to obsess about taking medication in the first place! i had medication phobia for years.

on a lighter note, happy new year all!

Marzipan85

ulinbac wrote: »

Happy New Years Peeps!!

Going to be a good year, can feel it

anything beats getting past a year with the number 13 in it!!

ulinbac

Marzipan85 wrote: »

anything beats getting past a year with the number 13 in it!!

Learned a few things last year.

One is all that craic with 13 and superstition is rubbish. You just have to go with. Sometimes it can just be simple bad/good luck but you definitely make some of your own luck through hard work.

Second is a realisation of the improbability od God and lack of respect I have for religion. Praying does nothing to help me but working on myself and putting effort in (eat healthy, meditation, exercise etc.does). Went from being a sceptic Catholic to somewhere betwen Agnostic/Athiest now.

NegativeCreep

Jesus I really need to learn my lesson with drink. Makes me feel absolutely horrible the next day. Good god.

Gremlinertia

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Jesus I really need to learn my lesson with drink. Makes me feel absolutely horrible the next day. Good god.

Some people and drink don't mix, especially when it comes to depressive issues and the like.. However Ireland's social construct is almost totally based around drink, that may be changing but it's terribly slow doing so.. And so the drink issue is a big thing. The after effects can be awful, but it can be that versus fitting in with the social situation you are in, personally i still drink because it raises less questions.

I hope the after effects are gone quickly for you. Drink has me awake now and i'm up for work at half six.

lukesmom

This is exactly why I've not touched alcohol since April last year. It messes my head up.

LanaFey

I'm the same, alcohol really does me no favours. I went on a big drinking holiday a few months back and ended up having the biggest panic attack I've had in years. Irish people joke so much about "the fear" but for me "the fear" can mean I'm too terrified to leave my bedroom for an entire day or more! My friends and family are big drinkers and it was a struggle to abstain over Christmas. I know it's ridiculously silly considering I'm almost thirty, but I ended up pretending to my friends that my glasses of coke had Jameson in them just so I wouldn't have to answer any questions about why I wasn't drinking on New Years Eve

That said, waking up with no hangover or fear and a clear head on New Years Day made it all worth it

I'm not sure if it's the medication taking effect or not but the last couple of days I've been feeling MUCH happier, calmer and optimistic about things. Previously the night before the first day back to work in January has always been a major low point for me but I was actually in a good mood yesterday and not too stressed or worried (though I got pretty much no sleep last night but I think that's the case for everyone going back to work today!) I'm back in work now this morning and finding that I'm really able to concentrate and focus in a way I haven't been able to do in a long time. It might be the medication or just New Year energy but whatever, I'll take it!

eh i dunno

No alcohol and regular exercise is the key in my opinion. As someone only suffering with anxiety the last 18 months or so I find hitting the gym and not drinking is the key to feeling normal. 2 or 3 drinks is the max

stinkle

hi everyone and happy new year. was following the thread a lot over the break.

I totally agree about the 2/3 drinks max thing. Had a crazy few days before xmas and vowed to take it easy thereafter. The family aren't mad drinkers thankfully so I was max 3 most days and felt grand. It;s the peer pressure when out and getting into rounds that's usually to my detriment. Am delighted that I didnt go overboard on the booze - usually get a bit too merry and overshare so it was great to wake up and know I'd behaved. Am hoping to abstain for Jan from a finance point of view.

Unfortunately, got narky with OH the other night and there was no need for it, so I'm still feeling bad for that.

Am back in work today, was DREADING it. I'm happy to report I felt absolutely no anxiety over the break, other than a bit of social. Also my stomach probs were nonexistent, despite all the rich food etc. However I feel rubbish today and stomach issue is back. This is both reassuring and worrying - i.e. my work situation is a huge contributor and I'm glad it's obvious to me now, however I hate that it has that effect on me. Also, today isnt and was never going to be too awful, so it's annoying that I get this general anxiety regardless of whether the day ahead is stressful or relaxed.

Am still feeling a bit trapped too - I'm unsure if I'll have a job in the next few weeks; it's obv not a bad thing since I am so sick of it, both mentally and physically. However being on the dole indefinitely isn't too appealing either so am torn between busting my ass over the next few weeks to get loads done, or having "the chat" with the boss to stay a bit longer, as there is plenty of work to be done. The thoughts of staying here longer than necessary isn't sitting well either though. I'm trying to take the money aspect out of it and follow my instincts. The new job is still a possibility and I do think I have it, but there;s a very good chance I wouldn't start for a few months. Will be chatting to someone about that today. Who knows, maybe I could get a temp job or something in the interim. Can't believe it's 2014 and this is all still up in the air.

handbagmad

Feeling meh down today new year high didn't last so long. Only up out of bed. Tomorrow will be better

lukesmom

handbagmad wrote: »

Feeling meh down today new year high didn't last so long. Only up out of bed. Tomorrow will be better

Yeah feeling pretty meh too.

handbagmad

im going to rant now. ive so much nervous energy. Im thinking to myself why ****ing bother. Why is life such a rollercoaster for some of us. Everywhere I look I see unhappy people people trying to keep their heads above water for what?
I know there is good out there somewhere but its few and far between. I've learned of lovely neighbours having there houses broken into over christmas. it would all just make you think.
Im sorry i have to just get things out of my head. The world is a ****ed up place.
I wish i dont know I hate this. my head wont stop

lukesmom

handbagmad wrote: »

im going to rant now. ive so much nervous energy. Im thinking to myself why ****ing bother. Why is life such a rollercoaster for some of us. Everywhere I look I see unhappy people people trying to keep their heads above water for what?
I know there is good out there somewhere but its few and far between. I've learned of lovely neighbours having there houses broken into over christmas. it would all just make you think.
Im sorry i have to just get things out of my head. The world is a ****ed up place.
I wish i dont know I hate this. my head wont stop

Rant away you are right the world is a fkd up place. Tough keeping your sanity with all the crap you see and hear. Quite a gloomy time of year I have always hated January.

problum8

Hi all. very rarely do this but decided to post on this and see if there is anybody who can identify withe this.. Many thanks.


I feel really low. I don’t know what way I am wired but the black dog is never that far from my doorstep. In theory I have nothing to be worried about; just bought a house, a pretty good job, a good looking guy, relatively good at sports and comfortable financially. And yet I feel so alone and isolated. I know I do myself no favours at times. I neglect doing what I am doing now which is confronting my problem and instead I just retreat into my shell and keep my distance from everyone. I hate myself at times – like now.

I knew that the New Year would be the tipping point. I had been out quite a few nights over Christmas in the hope that someone new or something exciting would come into my life and as I prepared to go out for New Years Eve I could feel that pain in the pit of my stomach. I went out and socialised and others in my company would probably say that I was in good form. But as the whole anti climax of the night began to set in I knew I would hit a low.

I went home on my own in the taxi feeling smaller and more worthless than ever before. I woke up on New Years Day. Pretended nothing to my parents and got in my car and went to the bookies on my own. There I gambled for the day again in my own cocoon not wanting to engage with the real world or the real issue that was banging in under my stomach waiting for attention. I got home, tried to find some comfort in food and went to bed.

Getting up for work this morning I could feel myself being a shadow of a human being. It was eating up inside me again crying out for attention. I went about my daily chores drudgingly. While in the car I kept checking social media sites on my phone – all the time hoping that someone would take an interest in me but nothing was forthcoming. I checked my phone book to see was there anybody I could meet to talk about this but I don’t want to be putting this on someone. I received a text from a girl yesterday wondering was everything ok with me. I have been toying with the idea of talking to her. I don’t know her particularly well but feel it may be a way of helping me get out of this. She may just want to meet someone new but I am not attracted to her in that way. Sometimes I refuse to talk as I feel it is selfish of me to put this weight on someone elses shoulders.

God I can feel the weight lifting as I am typing on my keyboard. Why do I not look after myself and take the steps I need to take, such as this to make me feel a little better. It has only taken me 10 minutes to write and it is the start of reversing the cycle. I have an appointment with a counsellor Monday week also so onwards and upwards. Would like to hear from others who are experiencing the same feelings. Thank you.

lukesmom

Hey problum8 I can't say I'm going through the exact same issues as you but I'd like to say well done for booking appointment with a counsellor. As you said typing it was lifting a weight off so you can only imagine how speaking to a professional in a therapeutic way will probably help you a lot.

handbagmad

lukesmom wrote: »

Rant away you are right the world is a fkd up place. Tough keeping your sanity with all the crap you see and hear. Quite a gloomy time of year I have always hated January.

thanks lukesmom, my dogs just wont listen to me any more thinks they are now more depressed and ****ed up than I am!:(:(

Marzipan85

problum8 wrote: »

Hi all. very rarely do this but decided to post on this and see if there is anybody who can identify withe this.. Many thanks.


I feel really low. I don’t know what way I am wired but the black dog is never that far from my doorstep. In theory I have nothing to be worried about; just bought a house, a pretty good job, a good looking guy, relatively good at sports and comfortable financially. And yet I feel so alone and isolated. I know I do myself no favours at times. I neglect doing what I am doing now which is confronting my problem and instead I just retreat into my shell and keep my distance from everyone. I hate myself at times – like now.

I knew that the New Year would be the tipping point. I had been out quite a few nights over Christmas in the hope that someone new or something exciting would come into my life and as I prepared to go out for New Years Eve I could feel that pain in the pit of my stomach. I went out and socialised and others in my company would probably say that I was in good form. But as the whole anti climax of the night began to set in I knew I would hit a low.

I went home on my own in the taxi feeling smaller and more worthless than ever before. I woke up on New Years Day. Pretended nothing to my parents and got in my car and went to the bookies on my own. There I gambled for the day again in my own cocoon not wanting to engage with the real world or the real issue that was banging in under my stomach waiting for attention. I got home, tried to find some comfort in food and went to bed.

Getting up for work this morning I could feel myself being a shadow of a human being. It was eating up inside me again crying out for attention. I went about my daily chores drudgingly. While in the car I kept checking social media sites on my phone – all the time hoping that someone would take an interest in me but nothing was forthcoming. I checked my phone book to see was there anybody I could meet to talk about this but I don’t want to be putting this on someone. I received a text from a girl yesterday wondering was everything ok with me. I have been toying with the idea of talking to her. I don’t know her particularly well but feel it may be a way of helping me get out of this. She may just want to meet someone new but I am not attracted to her in that way. Sometimes I refuse to talk as I feel it is selfish of me to put this weight on someone elses shoulders.

God I can feel the weight lifting as I am typing on my keyboard. Why do I not look after myself and take the steps I need to take, such as this to make me feel a little better. It has only taken me 10 minutes to write and it is the start of reversing the cycle. I have an appointment with a counsellor Monday week also so onwards and upwards. Would like to hear from others who are experiencing the same feelings. Thank you.

on unrelated note, you write very well! good description. sounds like you are feeling empty, like the world is a cold, dead place. not a nice place to be in.

the bit you mention about not wanting to burden others with you problems makes sense to me. i would worry that telling people i feel depressed would put them in a bad mood. i suppose that's where counsellor's come in handy. do you live on your own? that can be lonely. get a flat mate? personally have found this xmas season very difficult. not a good time of year for people who suffer from depression.

Hugo Stiglitz

Marzipan85 wrote: »

personally have found this xmas season very difficult. not a good time of year for people who suffer from depression.

It's the "forced" happiness that digs into me. Like the expectation to be cheery can wear you down and end up making you feel even worse.

198321

Today I got so anxious because of one thing (text message I received) I was shopping in Dunnes and had to sit down, I couldn't see clearly and interesting thing is I couldn't actually hear anything for like 1-2 minutes. I normally can control anxiety and while I am often anxious I don't show many signs. I almost fainted .. I don't think that is normal ..

Killer_banana

Yesterday and today are my worst days in a long, long time. Spent a good while asleep today to pass time. Forced myself to work out because I knew the self hatred would be worse if I didn't. Also since working out tends to make me feel great on a normal day was hoping my mood would improve. Just finished up now. I guess I fee less **** but still pretty crappy. Don't feel like I don't want to be in the world anymore so I guess that's a good thing.

stinkle

absolutely crippled with anxiety here today for no good reason. Had a late one on Sat so am blaming being out of sorts on that. Couldnt face getting up, am now dossing and feeling bad over it.

kryptonmight, I know how you feel! I don;t have to clock in and plan on leaving earlyish today and know I'd feel much worse if was stuck here. Wanting to cry and go home is very familiar. Are you able to have a long lunch or anything? Or pop out for errands? Everyone's a bit down today, you might have a few takers if you suggest a tea break or something (if the job allows that kind of thing). No one expects much the first proper days back.

Had a bit of good news on Friday - was asked to go do a proper interview for the job I applied for. Previously it was just chatting on Skype. it's looking good but for some reason I'm very on edge - still so many unknowns. I mentioned already how I really dont want to stay where I am any longer, but am worried how I'll cope on the dole otherwise (if I get this new job there'll be a gap of a few months before starting; would be nice to not be too broke before making a move to a new country).

Am trying to breathe here and am telling myself to just take things one day at a time. I'll be emailing the potential employer today and Skyping later in the week so can ask some questions then which might help. Hopefully by Friday I might have a better idea of things... Right time to get some work done today...

LanaFey

The first few days back at work are tough. It seems like everyone around me is in terrible humour at the moment. January is a depressing month for so many reasons.

Congrats on the good news stinkle- fingers crossed that the interview goes well!

I have a doctor's appointment this week to discuss the medication. Bit worried now as my regular GP is out sick so I'll be talking to a doctor I'm not familiar with. I don't really have an option though as I was only given one month's prescription for the medication initially to see how it would work out... in the past week I've noticed some definite improvements so I think I'm definitely going to stick with what I was initially prescribed. Overall I'm less anxious and depressed, more positive, and my concentration is far better. No bad side effects so far, for the first week or so I was absolutely exhausted, very nauseous and feeling very sad and cranky, but that seems to have passed. I've definitely gained a couple of pounds but I'm hoping that's just Christmas weight and now that my mood is improving I feel more motivated to exercise which seemed like an impossible task this time last month, it was all I could do to drag myself out the door to work and back again.

I need to get counselling/therapy organised next as my social anxiety is still pretty terrible and from past experience I know that CBT is very beneficial in that area.

DM addict

Hi all - after a slightly stressful Xmas I'm actually relieved to be back into the swing of things today. Mental hugs and good thoughts to everyone who's finding it tough - January is never easy, so make sure you're taking a bit of time every day to do something positive for yourself (today, I will be having a good relaxing soak).

Also, just a link to some support that might help - Aware are running life skills classes for people with mild/moderate depression and/or anxiety. It's CBT based and free, online or face-to-face. http://www.aware.ie/life-skills/