Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Killer_banana

Chiquitita wrote: »

That's great news, you should feel proud! Good idea about the letter too, no way of forgetting things then which I always seem to do...ooops

Thank you. I know I'd forget or overthink and hold things back if I didn't bring one and also I can express myself better in writing than verbally. Someone in here gave me that idea actually so thanks to whoever it was.

kryptonmight

Afraid to check my email in case there is no news or bad news about this thing, both of which will probably increase my anxiety. Ironically, checking my email is probably the only way I will get good news about this situation, if it exists.

Haven't checked my emails for 2 days now and my phone has been off since Sat night as I'm so afraid

Killer_banana

kryptonmight wrote: »

Afraid to check my email in case there is no news or bad news about this thing, both of which will probably increase my anxiety. Ironically, checking my email is probably the only way I will get good news about this situation, if it exists.

Haven't checked my emails for 2 days now and my phone has been off since Sat night as I'm so afraid

I've learned from past experience running away from problems can only make things worse. If you hide away from the world it's still there tomorrow.

Ugh it's hard enough to get out of bed already without weather like this.

kryptonmight

So I checked my email... GOOD NEWS, the problem is gone.

Immediate sigh.

handbagmad

So turns out im pretty sick. Have tonsilitus swollen glands and lung infection!
im a big weepy infected mess

Chiquitita

It seems my usually favourite time of the day is now the same as mornings...full of worrying thoughts just with no panic

kryptonmight

Went back to my GP this evening. I'm going back on a low dose of cipramil for the next few months and going to hopefully start CBT again in the next couple of weeks.

Chiquitita

Oh...everyone's asleep

Killer_banana

I'm awake!

kryptonmight

Funny how when you are anxious about something, even when it goes away you sort of hold onto it anyway for a while and it takes a while to fully let it go.

Killer_banana

Doctor was meant to be today but didn't work out for various reasons. It's a walk in clinic so it's okay but looking at Thursday or Friday now. Most likely Thursday but my exam results come out that day so if they're not great I'll probably be more in the mood to go straight home.

Gremlinertia

I am nearly internetless until thursday

handbagmad

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I am nearly internetless until thursday

me too grem. And im petrified of wind storms looks like I'll be taking a sleeping tablet rather early tonight
Hope all are ok. Sending virtual hugs x

stinkle

bleh found it hard to sleep last night. I've some stuff on my mind and had a work deadline today that I just made with over an hour to spare which is great. Feel drained now though, with a bit of a headache. Not sure what's wrong but I was v upset this morning and had a good cry. am a bit worried about some people close to me and i take things to heart a lot. is anyone else here super-sensitive in that they "feel" things quite acutely?

handbagmad

Amazing how a sentence from one person can knock you to the pit of your stomach. Single a year yet one comment from him and im feeling like ****.
There are some coniving horrible people in this world. Who take their small minded ugly misgivings out on others.
Bullies I think is the word.
Im sorry for venting im just so upset. Can't wait for counselling tomorrow

Hugo Stiglitz

handbagmad wrote: »

Amazing how a sentence from one person can knock you to the pit of your stomach. Single a year yet one comment from him and im feeling like ****.
There are some coniving horrible people in this world. Who take their small minded ugly misgivings out on others.
Bullies I think is the word.
Im sorry for venting im just so upset. Can't wait for counselling tomorrow

Sorry to hear about that H. People can be right ****s at times.

handbagmad

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear about that H. People can be right ****s at times.

I thought I was strong enough to rise above him now at this stage.
I was and it seems still am the punchbag. Im just sick of it.

eh i dunno

Back to the doctor on Thursday after a year on Lexapro for anxiety. Not 100% sure anxiety is causing my problem and it hasnt disappeared. I reckon he will suggest CBT and I'm keen to try hypnosis

lukesmom

stinkle wrote: »

bleh found it hard to sleep last night. I've some stuff on my mind and had a work deadline today that I just made with over an hour to spare which is great. Feel drained now though, with a bit of a headache. Not sure what's wrong but I was v upset this morning and had a good cry. am a bit worried about some people close to me and i take things to heart a lot. is anyone else here super-sensitive in that they "feel" things quite acutely?

Yes I feel things very very deeply x

Killer_banana

Group projects are really hard when I'm down. I missed several meetings when I injured my legs and spent the whole time convinced they hated me when in reality they seemed to understand completely. Also find it hard to get work done in general and even though I haven't submitted anything to them late I'm afraid I will and they'll think I'm not pulling my weight. Also I don't know enough about business or the industry to produce ideas and have just general input with meetings and projects so afraid they'll think I'm just not bothered when really I just feel I haven't a clue half the time. Have no interest in working in the hospitality industry (this is why you shouldn't have to choose a career path at eighteen) but up until now I've felt able to do most work but the two group projects we have are just way out of my league, have no idea what I'm doing and it's messing with my head more. Got through last semester and did fairly well in CA (exam results are out this week) but feeling like this semester is going to break me. More than once in my darkest moments considered deferring it until next year even though that's my worst nightmare. But then considered deferring the whole year last semester and got through so it might turn around yet.

This was a lot longer than intended.

handbagmad

Very difficultly resisting the urge to cut. I can't cry. I have no feelings only emptiness.


Sleeping tablet ,bed

Call Me Jimmy

handbagmad I rarely leave my room, for years I am basically a prisoner. I promise you you can cut the ties that bind you to the mind, at first for short periods and in the future for longer periods, and possibly right through to a place where nothing really bothers you.

I am 26 and I am someone who has lost absolutely everything, even my own dignity. I used to have girlfriends, I used to go out regularly I've lost it all. I used to cut occasionally too. If I can get even some peace I promise you can.

handbagmad

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

handbagmad I rarely leave my room, for years I am basically a prisoner. I promise you you can cut the ties that bind you to the mind, at first for short periods and in the future for longer periods, and possibly right through to a place where nothing really bothers you.

I am 26 and I am someone who has lost absolutely everything, even my own dignity. I used to have girlfriends, I used to go out regularly I've lost it all. I used to cut occasionally too. If I can get even some peace I promise you can.

im the female version of you, lost everything Id become to know most in the last year
I didn't cut, i want to but i won't.
I was that party animal too don't know where she went though.

Call Me Jimmy

She's in difficulty. Through the difficulty she will learn how to take care of herself. But she can't afford to ignore her body and mind. A lot of things can have an overwhelming impact on both, for example if I took sleepers the next day I'd be in a heavy fog which would probably start a cycle. Maybe you're different but you need clarity and counsel.

I haven't been keeping up with the thread but I've been having an extremely trying time, to the point where I am having to mentally project forward to death in order to give perspective. At times it feels like I'm at the bottom, the only thing keeping me going is the idea that this level of suffering will bring me to a glorious place. And through a small bit of will I can sometimes feel I am slowly but surely getting there. On the outside nothing has changed but on the inside I can feel a subtle strengthening. But I have had to go the core of myself and even beyond that, to impermanence and suffering etc.

What sort of things bother you, are you reclusive now?

For example for me, something as simple as losing hair brings my thoughts from myself as a young man, to becoming an old man. The step after that is death. So I have walked up to death and I'm having a good old look at it.

kryptonmight

Got a new job offer so it looks like I will need to hand my notice in today to my current employer. I'm there less than 6 months, bit anxious about the whole thing, hope it goes ok!

Hugo Stiglitz

kryptonmight wrote: »

Got a new job offer so it looks like I will need to hand my notice in today to my current employer. I'm there less than 6 months, bit anxious about the whole thing, hope it goes ok!

Best of luck there K. This could very well be the best thing to happen

kryptonmight

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Best of luck there K. This could very well be the best thing to happen

Thanks.

Told them today. I have to say I felt like a complete a*****e. They are very nice people, but I think this is a better career move.

Hugo Stiglitz

kryptonmight wrote: »

Thanks.

Told them today. I have to say I felt like a complete a*****e. They are very nice people, but I think this is a better career move.

It's nothing personal to them. I'm sure they see it like that.

Have a doctors appointment at 4:30. Nervous.

Hugo Stiglitz

Deleted User wrote: »

Have a doctors appointment at 4:30. Nervous.

Is this your first one T?