Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

nesf

Deaglain.12 wrote: »

I think I may have depression and would like to see someone about it. I have very little money and no real close friends I can talk to about it.

I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation and has any advice. Any help is greatly appreciated .

Aware is a good place to go as mentioned. Your GP should be your first port of call if you're worried about this, they can refer you on to others if that's necessary.

Killer_banana

handbagmad wrote: »

back on steroids due to crohns flare up!!! grrr... ill be eating like a motherf**ker as if i wasnt bad enough already.
Another effect is the false energy I have even though I feel like crap.
Spent 2 hours cleaning a spot of carpet the dog pee'd on that I couldnt get the stain out of.....only for the dog to reclaim the spot,cock his leg and piss all over it again!!!!
Dont know weither to laugh or cry.

I have Crohn's too! My own has been misbehaving recently but hoping it won't develop into a full blown flare up. I've never been on steroids so I don't know what's that like, only ever been on immunosupressants.

Finally bit the bullet at emailed my class tutor. Just told her depression has affected my attendance (which she commented on recently) and there's the possibility of it affecting my performance though it hasn't yet. Explained I felt it was better she know before anything possibly happens rather than after. Just hope she understands and doesn't think it's to do with trying to get a pity pass or compensation. Also hope she doesn't want to discuss it face to face. I don't feel comfortable enough to discuss it in person. Still glad I finally did it, it has needed to be done for a while now.

stinkle

Killer_banana wrote: »

I have Crohn's too! My own has been misbehaving recently but hoping it won't develop into a full blown flare up. I've never been on steroids so I don't know what's that like, only ever been on immunosupressants.

Finally bit the bullet at emailed my class tutor. Just told her depression has affected my attendance (which she commented on recently) and there's the possibility of it affecting my performance though it hasn't yet. Explained I felt it was better she know before anything possibly happens rather than after. Just hope she understands and doesn't think it's to do with trying to get a pity pass or compensation. Also hope she doesn't want to discuss it face to face. I don't feel comfortable enough to discuss it in person. Still glad I finally did it, it has needed to be done for a while now.

well done for emailing! How are you feeling after getting that out of the way? I actually hate email sometimes... I'm sure no one can force you to discuss things face to face if you arent ok with that.

Killer_banana

stinkle wrote: »

well done for emailing! How are you feeling after getting that out of the way? I actually hate email sometimes... I'm sure no one can force you to discuss things face to face if you arent ok with that.

I feel good to have got it out of the way. I was too scared to send it before but today I just got to a place where I felt I had to. she replied and wants to talk after class tomorrow. She said a 'quick chat just to clarify things' so hopefully that's all it is. In fairness if I had to talk to any lecturer about it I rather it be her than any of my others (not that any of my others are awful, I just feel she's easier to talk about with it and based on certain discussions in class seems to know a lot about psychology). Also I have class after hers so I can tell her from the off I don't have much time.

Gremlinertia

I'm still in shock today. Got probably the strongest urge ever to die. Closest i ever came to it.. Not scared or worried, just ready to go.. This was just yesterday and yet could have been a year ago already. Weird.

Hugo Stiglitz

Killer_banana wrote: »

Finally bit the bullet at emailed my class tutor. Just told her depression has affected my attendance (which she commented on recently) and there's the possibility of it affecting my performance though it hasn't yet. Explained I felt it was better she know before anything possibly happens rather than after. Just hope she understands and doesn't think it's to do with trying to get a pity pass or compensation. Also hope she doesn't want to discuss it face to face. I don't feel comfortable enough to discuss it in person. Still glad I finally did it, it has needed to be done for a while now.

KB,

I had to do that for last semester. I hated having to do it but it is in your best interest to let them know. They actually seem to take this kinda thing fairly serious thankfully and I'm sure they will be very accommodating for you there.

They might ask you to fill out a mitigating circumstances appeal for the next courseboard to take this into account if required. If you do this a letter from your doctor or psychiatrist stating that you're currently under their care for this issue would really help. You might need to give a written request to your doctor for that letter (privacy issues etc).

I'm delighted you did this though! Hope it all goes well for you there too!

handbagmad

Killer_banana wrote: »

I have Crohn's too! My own has been misbehaving recently but hoping it won't develop into a full blown flare up. I've never been on steroids so I don't know what's that like, only ever been on immunosupressants.
.

I only get a course of steroids when my flare ups are bad. They do help the inflamation to ease quicker.

no energy at all today. pjs and duvet it was for the day and will be for the next few day untill finished antibiotic+steroids.

I feel level headed. Silly as it is I have something else to occupy my mind being ill

Mars Bar

I did that too K_B but like a dope, I forgot to sign off the email! :pac:

They knew anyway and were very nice about it.

Killer_banana

Meeting with her at 11.45. Nerves aren't as bad somehow...although I'm operating on four hours sleep so I may just not have the capacity to be nervous anymore. :P

Gremlinertia

You'll Be fine Killer banana, deep breaths and of course you can keep it short if you need..

I'm kind of coming back to ok-ish now. It's a strange thing, i've been chatting to people online about all manner of things, like i compartmentalise things to the point where they don't exist when i'm on a different topic. Found myself wondering, in a very detached way, what people would think if they knew how close i was to ending it all less than 48 hours ago. It's quite a mind bender and i have absolutely no idea what to do or who to speak to about it.. My doc has said it's fairly out of his depth.

Killer_banana

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You'll Be fine Killer banana, deep breaths and of course you can keep it short if you need..

I'm kind of coming back to ok-ish now. It's a strange thing, i've been chatting to people online about all manner of things, like i compartmentalise things to the point where they don't exist when i'm on a different topic. Found myself wondering, in a very detached way, what people would think if they knew how close i was to ending it all less than 48 hours ago. It's quite a mind bender and i have absolutely no idea what to do or who to speak to about it.. My doc has said it's fairly out of his depth.

I went well, she just wanted to let me know about a personal circumstances form and that it might be best to fill on in. She's going to get back to me about it next week and what exactly would have to go into it if I do fill one out. She was really understanding and didn't ask me anything personal which was my main fear. We also had a nice chat about Shave or Dye (I shaved my head for it) and she told me how she had wanted to dye her hair but wasn't brave enough.

Those out of no where short periods of absolute certainty are scary alright. I got one last night but just had to push it away. I've suffered with suicidal ideation a lot but there's been four times where I've come very close and it's scary to think how hard it was to overcome them. But hey, I thought I'd never survive 2013 and here I am alive three months into 2014. It sucks your doctor is out of his depth but having someone to talk to, professional or just a friend is always helpful I find. Any luck with getting a second psych referral?

Gremlinertia

Am awaiting a letter, the wheels move slowly....

Jabberwocky_I

Hi all,

I used to post here regularly under a different username. I really need to speak to someone/anyone who understands what I'm going through so I hope you'll not mind my posting here.

I've struggled with depression for a long time. I've had periods of time where things have been great - lasting up to a couple of years. Unfortunately, I'm quite depressed again at the moment - the last time I went through this would've been about 2 years ago. It's been coming on for a while. My sleep has been very poor as has my appetite. I didn't realise how bad it was though and over the past month or so it seems to have spiraled completely and now I feel so low that I cannot see a way out of it. I'm studying for an MA at the moment and working part-time (I can work from anywhere so the routine of getting up and going to a place of work isn't there) and both of those things are really starting to suffer. My ability to concentrate is at an all time low so my contribution to class discussion, etc is becoming weaker and weaker.

I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until this has passed. I'm so bogged down in the fog of it all that I cannot see anything bright ahead.

I've made an appointment with the Uni counselling service and I'll be meeting with them tomorrow.

I feel so utterly alone in all of this that I had to put it out there to people who know this struggle so if you've read through, thank you.

Gremlinertia

Jabberwocky_I wrote: »

Hi all,

I used to post here regularly under a different username. I really need to speak to someone/anyone who understands what I'm going through so I hope you'll not mind my posting here.

I've struggled with depression for a long time. I've had periods of time where things have been great - lasting up to a couple of years. Unfortunately, I'm quite depressed again at the moment - the last time I went through this would've been about 2 years ago. It's been coming on for a while. My sleep has been very poor as has my appetite. I didn't realise how bad it was though and over the past month or so it seems to have spiraled completely and now I feel so low that I cannot see a way out of it. I'm studying for an MA at the moment and working part-time (I can work from anywhere so the routine of getting up and going to a place of work isn't there) and both of those things are really starting to suffer. My ability to concentrate is at an all time low so my contribution to class discussion, etc is becoming weaker and weaker.

I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until this has passed. I'm so bogged down in the fog of it all that I cannot see anything bright ahead.

I've made an appointment with the Uni counselling service and I'll be meeting with them tomorrow.

I feel so utterly alone in all of this that I had to put it out there to people who know this struggle so if you've read through, thank you.

Heyo, glad you knew this place is here for you. Well done on going to your university counselling service. Maybe ask them about a letter for you to explain to lecturer(s) how you are currently. I've been having a damn rough time of it lately too. Bed work and back again. Very nasty ideas in my head and nearly succumbing to mad urges. I have had my doc refer me back to psych services but have yet to hear back..

What i'm saying (rambling really ) is that you are far from alone. Hope this helps.

Jabberwocky_I

Thank you

Sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time. It's so **** when you're just going through the motions. I've been doing that too for a while lately and like you, once I'm done for the day, I'm straight home to bed. I was making a conscious effort to put on the happy facade for ages there but I no longer have the energy to do that now. I just want to retreat from the world at this stage.
I explained what was going on to one of my tutor's who has been really lovely and supportive. I can't bear the thought of going to class next week though. I'm usually quite engaged and I just can't think at the moment - on my feet or otherwise.

I'm sorry to hear about the nasty thoughts too. Have been there so I know how rough that is. It's good that you're getting supports in place though. I hope you won't have to wait too long

stinkle

^^^ what Gremlinertia says. It's great that you made an appointment - my own first experiences of talking about my problems was thru college counselling too, and it was both for myself and in case I needed time out/to explain to lecturers.

Hope you feel a bit better for posting even. Re: routine - I've been there and lately have found that having a routine helps a lot. The friend network has diminished a bit with emigration and people having other stuff on, so I've found that having other activities is helping a lot. I try to go to exercise classes for the routine, to get out of the house and hopefully to help my mental health. If you're in college is there anything like that you could join/attend either in the morning or after class in the evening? Doesnt need to be exercise. I know motivation can be really tough though.

Jabberwocky_I

Thanks Stinkle - even posting helps a little. I know where you're coming from about routine. I know how important it is. I was doing so well with it - I'd put in 9-5 days in the library, go for a run in the evening, socialise when I didn't feel like it. That's all ground to a halt now, which is probably why I've sunk much deeper into depression over the past few weeks.

There's loads I could be doing and my course workload alone would keep me quite busy, but the way I feel at the moment makes it hard to care about that stuff. I feel very removed from everything and everyone around me. The motivation just isn't there.

That said, I appreciate your advice and I do want to come out of this so I'm going to try my best to do something, even if it's just one thing, to keep some sort of routine up.

Gremlinertia

Hopefully the counsellor will help you to get things in line in your head.. Sometimes that neutral person to help you point things out to yourself can be an immense help at times like this..

stinkle

Oh I've been there with the lack of motivation! Don't beat yourself up if yo7re not up for things. Its great that youre able for talking about it

Gremlinertia

Near time to switch off. Been staring at computer and tv all day. Early up for long shift tomorrow, nerves already at me, day shift with a manager i cannot handle.. Hmm. Another twenty minutes then time to try to wind down.. I hope things improve for you guys..

Gremlinertia

Stressed out at work today. So much so that I'm yawning non stop and am damn close to nodding off. :-( this is why I don't work here when a particular person is on..

Gremlinertia

I managed today. Lot of hiding and trying to control my breathing and of course the fact that I'm the only one posting here making me feel like a thread killer.. Paranoia very big issue again.

Hugo Stiglitz

Am stressed and anxious as I am brand new at work. I'm delighted to finally get a job but am so nervous that it is really off putting. I hope this passes soon.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Am stressed and anxious as I am brand new at work. I'm delighted to finally get a job but am so nervous that it is really off putting. I hope this passes soon.

hope it has passed for you. And congrats on the job. I couldn't begin to try move jobs.. Too frightened I think.

Let us know how are you getting on.. As always deep breaths.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

hope it has passed for you. And congrats on the job. I couldn't begin to try move jobs.. Too frightened I think.

Let us know how are you getting on.. As always deep breaths.

Hopefully I'll just get used to the whole new routine.

I hate being so dramatic and emotional!

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Hopefully I'll just get used to the whole new routine.

I hate being so dramatic and emotional!

I wouldn't call it dramatic at all. Moving jobs is huge, I'd rate it higher than moving house but that's just me.. My nerves kill me over things that others barely heed.. Don't run yourself down for being human.:-)

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I wouldn't call it dramatic at all. Moving jobs is huge, I'd rate it higher than moving house but that's just me.. My nerves kill me over things that others barely heed.. Don't run yourself down for being human.:-)

You know me! lol

How are things there with you today G?

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You know me! lol

How are things there with you today G?

Haha bejeebus maybe I do!.

I'm okish today. There's an ongoing dispute at work and after an ex employee's actions today I can see things being nasty next week.. :-/ hopefully it doesn't crash me..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Haha bejeebus maybe I do!.

I'm okish today. There's an ongoing dispute at work and after an ex employee's actions today I can see things being nasty next week.. :-/ hopefully it doesn't crash me..

Stuff like that is never good. I hope it goes ok for you.

Am happy that you're doing ok today.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Stuff like that is never good. I hope it goes ok for you.

Am happy that you're doing ok today.

Day at a time and all that I guess. Still a bit rattled after last Tuesday - but maybe the fright of how close I came to ending it all could be good since I have been thinking in a more reflective rather than negative manner since. I'm not naive I know there'll be other lows but maybe my mind is a little better able now.