Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Odysseus

irishh_bob wrote: »

natural confidence cannot be regained to its former state , going to councelling and all that turns people into generic style clones , you might say the right things but the whole thing is lacking in authenticity

Do you really believe that? I don't know but if that opinion is based upon a personal experience of counselling or therapy you really got stuck with a bad therapist. Though these thing really depend on one's definitions, how would you define the authenticity that you speak of?

irishh_bob

Odysseus wrote: »

Do you really believe that? I don't know but if that opinion is based upon a personal experience of counselling or therapy you really got stuck with a bad therapist. Though these thing really depend on one's definitions, how would you define the authenticity that you speak of?

i dont believe in therapy although i did see a shrink a handfull of times over a decade ago , was a deeply humiliating experience

i agree that you have to change your possition once depression enters your life , this is where i have so much difficulty with the whole thing , i was fine with who i was before the depression set in , what caused the depression was that i was the victim of viscious bullying in the workplace ( while working overseas ) where i was made believe i was a wicked individiaul in every shape and form , being young , i bought into theese black lies by this toxic person and decided thier was something deeply wrong with me , it was only when the damage had been done that i realised what had been done to me psychologically and it was then too late , my whole psychological wellbeing had changed , gone was the alpha male , non emotional straight ahead guy and in its place was an intospective , neurotic unsure shell of a man , while i might be a reasonably well rounded individual today , im far too conscensious and thougtfull about things , being a real man is important to me and a man who suffers with depression cannot be a real man , which is why i believe suicide is so great among men , those who contact it , know deep down what they have lost and dont want to live with the indignity and the settling for 2nd best

mickman

u cant be a real man if you have depression? rubbish.

margarite

irishh_bob wrote: »

its not being arrogant at all but if you have to fake confidence , not only does it require a lot of effort , i doubt its all that satisfying in the end , while strangers might be convinced by a front , we cant lie to ourselves in the end

Yes you are right, but it also stops me being bullied, which has happened in the past. I allowed myself to be bullied and my confidence and ability to work was very serciously affected. That is why I have to put on the false facade. I hate it, I get very tired from it and I would love to be able to have the confirdence to tell the bullies exactly what I think of them, but I do not have the confidence.

Mars Bar

I went from 37.5mg to 75mg of Effexor last Thursday and for the past 3 nights, I've had really vivid dreams. I can remember the last two really well.
They aren't bad dreams but they do seem to consist of good things I desire linked with things that cause me worry.

starviewadams

Cut myself for the first time in months today,screwed up a promising relationship pretty badly and I just feel really really low and needed a release. Didnt get much sleep last night either,over analyzing things in my head obsessively as usual.

Odysseus

irishh_bob wrote: »

i dont believe in therapy although i did see a shrink a handfull of times over a decade ago , was a deeply humiliating experience

i agree that you have to change your possition once depression enters your life , this is where i have so much difficulty with the whole thing , i was fine with who i was before the depression set in , what caused the depression was that i was the victim of viscious bullying in the workplace ( while working overseas ) where i was made believe i was a wicked individiaul in every shape and form , being young , i bought into theese black lies by this toxic person and decided thier was something deeply wrong with me , it was only when the damage had been done that i realised what had been done to me psychologically and it was then too late , my whole psychological wellbeing had changed , gone was the alpha male , non emotional straight ahead guy and in its place was an intospective , neurotic unsure shell of a man , while i might be a reasonably well rounded individual today , im far too conscensious and thougtfull about things , being a real man is important to me and a man who suffers with depression cannot be a real man , which is why i believe suicide is so great among men , those who contact it , know deep down what they have lost and dont want to live with the indignity and the settling for 2nd best

I don't want seem like I'm focusing in on you, but I find it interesting that you would take that position about lossing your manhood if you become depressed.

Would you mind elaborating on that opinion if its not too personal a question?

Being a man would be very important to me too, but everybody would have a subjective opinion on what that means, and personally I would never see depression as affecting a person's masculinity. If you follow that logic how does depression effect women?

irishh_bob

Odysseus wrote: »

I don't want seem like I'm focusing in on you, but I find it interesting that you would take that position about lossing your manhood if you become depressed.

Would you mind elaborating on that opinion if its not too personal a question?

Being a man would be very important to me too, but everybody would have a subjective opinion on what that means, and personally I would never see depression as affecting a person's masculinity. If you follow that logic how does depression effect women?

while ( allegedly ) more commong amongst women , i would imagine it has less of an effect on women , the rate of suicude among men surely reflects this , suffering from depression makes you weak , emotionally fragile , unsure of yourself , lacking in bravado , overly analitical , introspective , soft

baschically , charechteristic which are more feminine than masculine


that said , the biggest reason why i can never ever overcome what happened to me is because im deeply ashamed of how weak i was , depression cannot get in unless you allow it , while being bullied was not my fault , i should have had the strength to move past what confronted me , i didnt and by succumbing to it , a part of me died and life has never been the same since , as i said earlier , the only thing that prevented me from commiting suicide was a lack of bottle , this in itself depresses me , i value courage above all other virtues

margarite

Panic Central wrote: »

Feeling....down.
I'm sick and tired and a bit blue in general. Which is hard after quite a good week or 2. Little worrying thoughts are creeping into my head about everything again.
I'm a lot better than I was last time round being unemployed, but I'm not sure how long it will last for....afraid of sinking into that very black place again, where the world is dark grey and nothing is fun anymore.
I hate being unemployed...and sick...

Life really sucks does n t? the question is what to do at a time like this. Treat yourself in small ways, call up your friends do as my friends and I do, arrange to meet in in one of our places, and each bring some part of the meal and we cook it all in who ever place it is and we sit around and chat. Depression talk is just touched on we then usually plan a cheap trip to the cinema. Or whatever we all agree on. Good luck.

RubyXI

Today is another day that I cannot see a reason to go on with life

starviewadams

Sorry you're having a tough time phi,am feeling the exact same way myself though,worst i've felt since my last 'episode',have resorted to cutting myself to get some relief which im feeling majorly guilty about too.

RubyXI

starviewadams wrote: »

Sorry you're having a tough time phi,am feeling the exact same way myself though,worst i've felt since my last 'episode',have resorted to cutting myself to get some relief which im feeling majorly guilty about too.

I haven't really tried the cutting myself thing. I don't think, logically it will help matters. You should probably try not to do that but I know it can be a case of whatever gets you through another few minutes of the day

ugliest

starviewadams wrote: »

Sorry you're having a tough time phi,am feeling the exact same way myself though,worst i've felt since my last 'episode',have resorted to cutting myself to get some relief which im feeling majorly guilty about too.

Hey starviewadams, sorry to hear about your "episode" . Phi is right, if at all possible try not to do the cutting thing, it gets really addictive and habit forming. Even when you're feeling better the scars are still there to remind you of stuff, and ten years later you still have to explain them away.

A trick they tell you to use is to get an elastic band (good thick one) and put it around your wrist and give it a good flick when you're anxious. It smarts a good bit and doesn't leave a mark and isn't obvious. It sounds stoopid but it actually helps a bit.
-or another similar thing is to get a bobble, you know the ones with a little bit of metal on them? And flick the metal bit against your wrist.

You do what you gotta do to get by :-/

Anything in particular getting at anyone?

starviewadams

Saw psych today and was given new meds to help relax me a bit,hopefully it helps.

Mars Bar

I feel like I'm yoyo-ing today.

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

Today is another day that I cannot see a reason to go on with life

I m really sorry to read this, is there anything in particular that sparked this off? Have you being nice to yourself, thought of some distractions, or ringing friends that understand? Oh I hate when this happens to us all, is there anything I can do to help? please just ask. I go there now and again unfortunately, please do not do anything yet or at all, this site was given to us all to help each other, in private or by general posting, please please use it! take care.

RubyXI

margarite wrote: »

I m really sorry to read this, is there anything in particular that sparked this off? Have you being nice to yourself, thought of some distractions, or ringing friends that understand? Oh I hate when this happens to us all, is there anything I can do to help? please just ask. I go there now and again unfortunately, please do not do anything yet or at all, this site was given to us all to help each other, in private or by general posting, please please use it! take care.

Things aren't going great in general. I mean even if i wasn't depressed. Like work and relationships and all that. just finding it all a bit difficult

LegacyUser

It's ok phi, these things happen.Like when I posted last week, we all have our ups and downs. The reason you want to stay living is because you know that if you're a bit down now, you're sure to be feeling better soon. Better things will follow. It's ok to feel a bit down sometimes, can't exist in divine happiness all the time! At least you recognise that things are a bit tough at the moment, and it's just life. That recognition is a good thing too..

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

Things aren't going great in general. I mean even if i wasn't depressed. Like work and relationships and all that. just finding it all a bit difficult

Yes it is difficult, with things in the way they are at the moment, it effecting everyone, and I tend to dwell on the bad things at the moment, trying to change that by looking at the good things but the bad outway the good sometimes. Please can you try taking one thing at a time, and being good to yourself and see how that goes. It works for me. Thinking of you. Please take care.

starviewadams

Another bad day,may aswell go back to bed.

Tags

Although I've been diagnosed with actual depression and anxiety issues I can't help but feel that a lot of my problems are caused (or at least not helped) by the bad situation I've slowly gotten myself into over the years: no friends, no romance, sh!t job, no skills, no qualifications etc. The list could go on and on.

I feel like I just need to run away and start over again somewhere else. Anyone else here feel like this? Is it even possible for people like us?

Wolfe Tone

Tags wrote: »

Although I've been diagnosed with actual depression and anxiety issues I can't help but feel that a lot of my problems are caused (or at least not helped) by the bad situation I've slowly gotten myself into over the years: no friends, no romance, sh!t job, no skills, no qualifications etc. The list could go on and on.

I feel like I just need to run away and start over again somewhere else. Anyone else here feel like this? Is it even possible for people like us?

I have felt somewhat similar tbh Until I came to the conclusion that my problems would come with me, although personally the last few weeks/months have been great

RubyXI

Tags wrote: »

Although I've been diagnosed with actual depression and anxiety issues I can't help but feel that a lot of my problems are caused (or at least not helped) by the bad situation I've slowly gotten myself into over the years: no friends, no romance, sh!t job, no skills, no qualifications etc. The list could go on and on.

I feel like I just need to run away and start over again somewhere else. Anyone else here feel like this? Is it even possible for people like us?

I used to feel like that. But then i did get a chance to start a fresh when I left school and started college. And again when i left college and started work. But nothing changed. I think it's a case of which came first. Maybe it's the depression that caused you to have no friends, romance etc.

starviewadams

Off to see the psych again,hopefully will be able to persuade her to give me different meds because the ones I was given on friday to calm me down just make me feel dopey and nauseous.Will probably just ignore whatever I say though as usual.

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

Things aren't going great in general. I mean even if i wasn't depressed. Like work and relationships and all that. just finding it all a bit difficult

I really do hope that things improve very soon for you. Take care.

margarite

Tags wrote: »

Although I've been diagnosed with actual depression and anxiety issues I can't help but feel that a lot of my problems are caused (or at least not helped) by the bad situation I've slowly gotten myself into over the years: no friends, no romance, sh!t job, no skills, no qualifications etc. The list could go on and on.

I feel like I just need to run away and start over again somewhere else. Anyone else here feel like this? Is it even possible for people like us?

Yes it is possible, by sitting down and working out all the positives and nevatives, look at the negatives and see what you can work on and make achievable goals. Good luck.

Tags

phi3 wrote: »

Maybe it's the depression that caused you to have no friends, romance etc.

Hopefully it is otherwise I'm just a not a likeable person

margarite wrote: »

Look at the negatives and see what you can work on and make achievable goals. Good luck.

Thanks Margarite. I was just thinking out loud when I typed that out. It's something to keep in mind though.

margarite

Tags wrote: »

Hopefully it is otherwise I'm just a not a likeable person



Thanks Margarite. I was just thinking out loud when I typed that out. It's something to keep in mind though.

I say just by reading what you have written that you are a very nice person, it takes other people that suffer from depression that can only realise what it is actually really like. Use this thread to go through the roughest of what upsetting you most or pm me at anytime, I do not mind. Take care.

MUSEIST

Has anyone else on here always had problems with anxiety and depression or is it a new thing for ye. My psychiatrist once said 'we will soon have you back to your old self' which I thought was weird because I am always this way and have always been like this. So basically there is no hope for me if this is 'normal' for me. How can I hope to be functional if I have never been functional as myself. I wish I could just be a completely different person for a while instead of this constant struggle with the complete pointlessness of everything, its all complete nonsense, it really is.:(

Dreams aloud

I've taken them with literally no side effects, some racing thoughts the first night & a kind of dizzy drowsy feeling the next day but fine after that. I think it can affect sleep in some people but i was fine apart from the odd restless night. They actually didn't work for me (anxiety) so im currently coming off them but would have been delighted if they did due to the lack of side effects.

Im quite against taking medication & lustral was the first i've had (after exhausting all other options :rolleyes:) Wouldn't dream of suggesting any medication to anyone but i found it totally fine. Hope this helps.