Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Tags

Some of you might remember my post about running away to a foreign land in order to escape my problems and generally improve my lot. Looked into it last night and turns out it's not as simple as I once thought due to the fact that I don't have any skills or qualifications. I feel a bit pissed off about that but also mad at myself for messing up my life so much. Starting to feel a bit trapped now and this is only adding to the anxiety. **** it anyway :mad:

LegacyUser

That's ok Plumeria. I just found when I went to a psychologist that it was a bit wishy-washy, in that, it was very much a case of "you say what you're thinking, and we'll explore it. But you have to say everything you're thinking, you can't hide anything".
Now I know that's their method, and that's fine.It just didn't suit me to be honest. I had a problem - anxiety - founded on irrational fears. I knew they were irrational.I just didn't know how to stop the panic attacks and obsessive thinking. Aimlessly exploring random statements that I made was not helping me. A counsellor helped more because she basically said right, you have anxiety issues - we'll try and find out where they come from and teach you how to cope with them. For me, that was far more effective. But then, that's just the type of person that I am. Also I didn't have any deep-rooted issues in my past, so I literally ran out of things to talk about to the psychologist eventually.

I'm not pushing the counsellor by the way, I'm just comparing my experiences with what you're saying.I do think she's charging you an awful lot of money for her services given the times we are in, and compared to my experience of what her colleagues are offering. I would also say though, that you need to give these things time, you're not going to come out feeling like you'll be ok from week 1.If anything, I found the sessions made the obsessive thinking worse, because I was going home and mulling (endlessly) over what had been discussed, and what I "should" have said. What I didn't realise at the time was that it was forcing me to look at myself and my life in a different way - through somebody else's eyes, so to speak - and made me realise a few things about myself. And then...the mulling over eased off after a few weeks, and I realised that maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought.

I still have moments (get to that in a sec!), but she definitely helped me.

LegacyUser

Sorry for double posting but I need a little rant.

So....why does life feel so hard sometimes?! I go along most days ok, then the odd time it's like this abyss of darkness opens up in front of me, and threatens to completely overwhelm me. Where I'm looking at being completely overcome by terror, fear, hysteria, tears and panic. Over what, I just don't know. But that's literally how it's visualised in my head - a darkness, filled with panic and tears, where I want to lie in bed all day long and hide.Sometimes it nearly entices me - in a whole "it'd be so much easier to just come in here than to keep fighting" kind of a way (not suicide or anything, just panic and worrying).

And what I can see of it, is related to my OH.Worry about the future. Stupid stuff - what if he dies, what if I wake up one morning and realise I don't love him, what if I really DON'T love him and I'm making the biggest mistake of my life (8 years later!), what if he cheats, what if I cheat, what if we fight all the time and have to divorce, what if I'm never REALLY happy with him, how do I know I'm happy, what if I'm not truly happy on our wedding day....on and on and on and on. It's soul destroying.I want so badly to be happy - to go back to the relaxed person I was before I became unemployed, the one who enjoyed her life to the full, and felt like the luckiest person alive when I was with my OH. Why can't I be that person again ALL the time - not just some of time? And why can't I find a job?

I'm sorry, I needed a little rant. Part of me just so badly wants to leave this country and start fresh somewhere else, with my OH, somewhere that's not negative and depressing and doesn't feel like a dead end. It's very hard.

LegacyUser

BanzaiBk, I can understand the bitterness thing I'm sorry you're having a bad time. Is your psych helping you?

Tags, please don't think you've messed your life up. You have time to improve your situation. Do you get any help? Sorry if you've said already..

Panic Central wrote: »

What I didn't realise at the time was that it was forcing me to look at myself and my life in a different way - through somebody else's eyes, so to speak - and made me realise a few things about myself. And then...the mulling over eased off after a few weeks, and I realised that maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought.

True. It was a new experience to get an objective opinion on my life. Maybe even the simple fact of saying things out loud makes a difference. I told the psychiatrist stuff about my childhood that I had never told anyone in real life. And I burst into tears after I had said it. She asked me if the memory was upsetting, and I said no, it just feels so weird to say it out loud.

I don't have the image of an abyss the way you do, but yeah I can relate to the dread that I'm going to be overwhelmed by bad feelings.

For me there's usually some small trigger. The smallest thing can make me want to jump off a bridge. I can't cope with those feelings, so I avoid almost everything that might hurt me.. and that's a ton of stuff.

Is your OH understanding about things?

LegacyUser

So much more understanding than I deserve somedays...I'm the luckiest girl on earth really, he cares so much given that I have such a complex about him!Most guys would probably run a mile from me.

I know how it feels to say stuff out loud that you've never said before....it's overwhelming.Then the next few times you say it, it becomes less of a big deal.

LegacyUser

Panic Central wrote: »

So much more understanding than I deserve somedays...I'm the luckiest girl on earth really, he cares so much given that I have such a complex about him!Most guys would probably run a mile from me.

I know how it feels to say stuff out loud that you've never said before....it's overwhelming.Then the next few times you say it, it becomes less of a big deal.

That's great that he's great My one real friend is very understanding too. He has problems with anxiety too, which explains some of his compassion, but my moods are way more erratic than his. I'm way more of a pain in the a** than him basically.

margarite

alias141282 wrote: »

I've suffered from mild - moderate depression and anxiety for 10 years but have been making good progress in the past two years with mindfulness and CBT.

What is CBT?

margarite

Panic Central wrote: »

Sorry for double posting but I need a little rant.

So....why does life feel so hard sometimes?! I go along most days ok, then the odd time it's like this abyss of darkness opens up in front of me, and threatens to completely overwhelm me. Where I'm looking at being completely overcome by terror, fear, hysteria, tears and panic. Over what, I just don't know. But that's literally how it's visualised in my head - a darkness, filled with panic and tears, where I want to lie in bed all day long and hide.Sometimes it nearly entices me - in a whole "it'd be so much easier to just come in here than to keep fighting" kind of a way (not suicide or anything, just panic and worrying).

And what I can see of it, is related to my OH.Worry about the future. Stupid stuff - what if he dies, what if I wake up one morning and realise I don't love him, what if I really DON'T love him and I'm making the biggest mistake of my life (8 years later!), what if he cheats, what if I cheat, what if we fight all the time and have to divorce, what if I'm never REALLY happy with him, how do I know I'm happy, what if I'm not truly happy on our wedding day....on and on and on and on. It's soul destroying.I want so badly to be happy - to go back to the relaxed person I was before I became unemployed, the one who enjoyed her life to the full, and felt like the luckiest person alive when I was with my OH. Why can't I be that person again ALL the time - not just some of time? And why can't I find a job?

I'm sorry, I needed a little rant. Part of me just so badly wants to leave this country and start fresh somewhere else, with my OH, somewhere that's not negative and depressing and doesn't feel like a dead end. It's very hard.

Firstly what is OH, getting married, moving house are some of the most stressful times of your life, adding losing your job makes it more stressful, on my wedding day I was grand until I saw my future (and now) husband licking his lips with nerves, I nearly changed my mind, luckly I did not. Take one thing at a time. When is the wedding? PM me back if you want ok.

Plumeria

Registered the name, just because I'm tired of squinting to read the captcha words, though I don't know how frequently I'll end up posting in here.

I watched a great Youtube video last night and wanted to share it. It's an old video clip from the 'Up' documentary series, and this clip looks at the life of Neil Hughes from the age of seven to 49.

Just a fantastic reminder that a life can really change.

The video is under 5 minutes; give it a watch - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcMWAWaXWhg

starviewadams

That's great how far he came,seems a really intelligent and articulate man too,gives me a glimmer of hope that I might turn into a normal functioning person.

Having another crap day myself,had a blazing argument with my dad who basicaly told me to snap out of it and do something with myself.Does he not think that I've already tried that??Does he think that I like living basically like a recluse?!Jesus like.

margarite

phi3 wrote: »

No get up every morning and go to work.Things are actually fairly hectic just don't involve many other people. I mean there's people at work but I don't really talk to them.

I saw from a previous member that they go into work and see these people that are go getters, super confident, that was me, but it was all an act. Sometimes we have to inject some nice things into our lives, that will up to what ever you want to do. Plan some treats for yourself, things that you like to do and your life will not seem so upsetting. Please try this it works for me. Take care.

BanzaiBk

Plumeria wrote: »

BanzaiBk, I can understand the bitterness thing I'm sorry you're having a bad time. Is your psych helping you?

Thanks Plumeria. I have a great psych I think, which is lucky. I was sectioned some moons ago so I'm in the public patient system. She's going to send me for cognitive therapy in April so she's pretty good at trying things out. I think that's the CBT that alias referred to.

I'm currently taking part in a mindfulness course via South Lee psych. care and find it fantastic. I'd really recommend it for people who suffer from anxiety and self-loathing.

Plumeria

BanzaiBk wrote: »

Thanks Plumeria. I have a great psych I think, which is lucky. I was sectioned some moons ago so I'm in the public patient system. She's going to send me for cognitive therapy in April so she's pretty good at trying things out. I think that's the CBT that alias referred to.

I'm currently taking part in a mindfulness course via South Lee psych. care and find it fantastic. I'd really recommend it for people who suffer from anxiety and self-loathing.

My psych has never mentioned CBT to me, although I've read a little bit about it. I've heard it described as the best (maybe only) solution for people with social anxiety in particular. Glad you have found a helpful course. I must admit I fear the idea of doing courses, because of the group situation it entails. Do you attend 'classes' or how does it work?

starviewadams wrote: »

That's great how far he came,seems a really intelligent and articulate man too,gives me a glimmer of hope that I might turn into a normal functioning person.

Having another crap day myself,had a blazing argument with my dad who basicaly told me to snap out of it and do something with myself.Does he not think that I've already tried that??Does he think that I like living basically like a recluse?!Jesus like.

Does he often say things like that? It's most likely just out of concern, even though it only succeeds in making you feel worse.
People tend to get very frustrated when they have no solution for someone they love, and the frustration can make them blurt out the wrong things.

Though it's true that a lot of people seem to think we're simply refusing to change because we are apparently having such great craic with our mental health issues.
:rolleyes:

BanzaiBk

Plumeria wrote: »

My psych has never mentioned CBT to me, although I've read a little bit about it. I've heard it described as the best (maybe only) solution for people with social anxiety in particular. Glad you have found a helpful course. I must admit I fear the idea of doing courses, because of the group situation it entails. Do you attend 'classes' or how does it work?

Yup it's a group setting. There are 8 people attending including myself. Tbh the first day every one of us were uncomfortable and nervous. We got used to each other though and feel quite at ease in the group now which is great. The "instructor" is great too, aware of the implications of having 8 people in a group who are awful at social interaction

On my bad weeks it takes all my energy to force myself to go to the class (just under 3 hours long, once a week) but it's worth it. I know it's hard for some of the others too, about half of us have chronic anxiety/social anxiety.

Plumeria

BanzaiBk wrote: »

Yup it's a group setting. There are 8 people attending including myself. Tbh the first day every one of us were uncomfortable and nervous. We got used to each other though and feel quite at ease in the group now which is great. The "instructor" is great too, aware of the implications of having 8 people in a group who are awful at social interaction

On my bad weeks it takes all my energy to force myself to go to the class (just under 3 hours long, once a week) but it's worth it. I know it's hard for some of the others too, about half of us have chronic anxiety/social anxiety.

It sounds good. I don't know how I'd deal with the privacy aspect. I keep harping on about my privacy, you'd swear I had interesting secrets or something. I'm totally boring!
How long will the course last?

starviewadams

Plumeria wrote: »

My psych has never mentioned CBT to me, although I've read a little bit about it. I've heard it described as the best (maybe only) solution for people with social anxiety in particular. Glad you have found a helpful course. I must admit I fear the idea of doing courses, because of the group situation it entails. Do you attend 'classes' or how does it work?



Does he often say things like that? It's most likely just out of concern, even though it only succeeds in making you feel worse.
People tend to get very frustrated when they have no solution for someone they love, and the frustration can make them blurt out the wrong things.

Though it's true that a lot of people seem to think we're simply refusing to change because we are apparently having such great craic with our mental health issues.
:rolleyes:

Yeah he's always fairly abrasive when talking to me,I don't think he actually believes in mental iilness to be honest,which is ridiculous considering the majority of his brothers and sisters suffer with one form or another of mental iilness issues!

Banzai (if you don't mind me asking!) are you doing the CBT anxiety group thingy in the Mater?

BanzaiBk

Plumeria wrote: »

It sounds good. I don't know how I'd deal with the privacy aspect. I keep harping on about my privacy, you'd swear I had interesting secrets or something. I'm totally boring!
How long will the course last?

lol I know what you mean I was the same tbh, but the whole thing is like strictly first names only etc. It's a 9 week course, just on week 3 now.

starviewadams wrote: »

Banzai (if you don't mind me asking!) are you doing the CBT anxiety group thingy in the Mater?

I'm based in Cork! I'll be getting cbt in the psychiatric service day hospital in Cork city. Do you have the chance to attend this group in the Mater? After my experience of the mindfulness etc I'd tell you to jump at the chance if you could. Group setting terrified me initially (omg these strangers will think I'm nuts!) but now I know why they work (you realise they are nuts too :pac:).

Plumeria

starviewadams wrote: »

Yeah he's always fairly abrasive when talking to me,I don't think he actually believes in mental iilness to be honest,which is ridiculous considering the majority of his brothers and sisters suffer with one form or another of mental iilness issues!

That's interesting. I wonder what he thinks is wrong with so many of his siblings? All just lazy?

I think people generally have most respect for the forms of mental illness which they can't relate to. The vast majority of people have never had hallucinations or severe delusions or psychotic episodes. Therefore they will respect these as symptoms of real mental illnesses.

But stuff like depression and anxiety? Most people have some experience with those, even if it's a mild or short-lived experience. So, a fair number of people will consider themselves to be educated on the whole issue, and even qualified to talk like experts about how easy it is to recover, and how people who can't recover must be just lazy/stupid/faking it. This is where all the dismissive contempt for depression/anxiety comes from, imo.

Mars Bar

I don't want to seem like I am gloating while some of you brilliant people struggle, but I have had the best week I've had in a long time. I don't think it's any coincidence that it picked up for me after 3 weeks of effexor and remeron but my tolerance levels and motivation for doing assignments has really picked up. I suppose this is due to getting the sleep I need and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Tackling work that was hanging over me for the last few months has been a big relief for me and I'm no longer blaming it on the crash that sent me to that dark place. A place I never knew even existed within me so it has been quite the learning experience.
I'll be going to the psych monday so it'll be interesting to see what they change with my meds and see if they will start tapering me off them.

Oh, and the weather helps a lot!

Tags

That's great Mars Bar

starviewadams

BanzaiBk wrote: »

lol I know what you mean I was the same tbh, but the whole thing is like strictly first names only etc. It's a 9 week course, just on week 3 now.

I'm based in Cork! I'll be getting cbt in the psychiatric service day hospital in Cork city. Do you have the chance to attend this group in the Mater? After my experience of the mindfulness etc I'd tell you to jump at the chance if you could. Group setting terrified me initially (omg these strangers will think I'm nuts!) but now I know why they work (you realise they are nuts too :pac:).

I applied for the group in the Mater cos my psychologist recommended it to me, but the waiting list is almost a year long! I can't afford to pay for a private group (not even sure if one exists anyway!!)

Plumeria I have no idea what my dad thinks about his sibling's mental iilnesses,by the way he goes on I doubt he thinks too much about them at all.Attention seeker is what he called my uncle with bi-polar once though.

lauren12

Hey guys,
I suffer from pretty severe depression and an eating disorder, bad days I can't even get out of bed. I am coming off the antidepressant I was on because it's just not working, being honest I want to give being without anti-depressants a chance because I found the anti-depressant changed my personality, and I am also on 13 other tablets day for another long term illness i have.

I was wondering has anyone found a natural remedy to help against depression like St John's Wort. I know exercise is very beneficial obviously.

And I know there are still loads of anti-deps I haven't tried yet, and they do work for many people. But at the moment for me they make me feel like I'm just barely alive, just here physically but not really here, I'm not the girl I used to be by any means. So if anyone knows of any natural herbs that do work I am willing to try them.

Thanks
Lauren

condra

Lauren I'm really sorry to hear about your condition. I hope your situation has been thoroughly investigated, in terms of physical as well as psychiatric tests.

I think there are a lot of people out there, including myself, who struggle with balancing the body and mind, and have to rely somewhat on experimenting with diet and lifestyle.

The only natural (dietary) anti depressant that has worked for me is dark chocolate. I find it works best if I only eat it now and then - when it's needed.

Outside dietary, I tend to do better when my lifestyle is as balanced as possible, ie not doing too much of any one thing, such as using the computer or watching television, and getting moderate exercise, fresh air and social stuff, whenever my energy levels allow for it.

I would advise that anything herbal can have dangers and side effects just like conventional medicine, though if you can improve your mental health without the use of conventional antidepressants then more power to you.

Finally, hang in there. It will be a battle, but try to remember when you're having a bad day, that it is only a temporary state. Keep your favourite people around you and believe in yourself.

margarite

mars bar wrote: »

I don't want to seem like I am gloating while some of you brilliant people struggle, but I have had the best week I've had in a long time. I don't think it's any coincidence that it picked up for me after 3 weeks of effexor and remeron but my tolerance levels and motivation for doing assignments has really picked up. I suppose this is due to getting the sleep I need and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Tackling work that was hanging over me for the last few months has been a big relief for me and I'm no longer blaming it on the crash that sent me to that dark place. A place I never knew even existed within me so it has been quite the learning experience.
I'll be going to the psych monday so it'll be interesting to see what they change with my meds and see if they will start tapering me off them.

Oh, and the weather helps a lot!

That s brillent I m really happy for you. Take care.:)

RubyXI

Too depressed to cry.

BanzaiBk

Just showed up at the clinic today 'cos I was sick of going around like I was carrying a bag of bombs with me. Psych changed me to Lustral from Cymbalta. Unsure why but I'll give them a go I suppose. Makes me laugh that 3 months ago she was talking about easing me off medication! Ugh.

lauren12

Hey,
Thanks for the reply. Ya I am being helped, through therapy and it is a looong process, but at this stage that's ok and I accept that, and I am willing to do anything to get out of it.

Cos of the eating disorder I do find it hard to socialise, and I do isolate myself a lot of the time cos of the shame of it, but that will get better, I'm reading a lot about it and depression and that's helping too. I honestly would not wish this on my worst enemy.

I hope you are well
Lauren

condra

Hey Lauren.

Isolation can become a negative cycle where it is harder to get out and mix, the longer you have been isolated for.

I hope you find some good social outlets and take a bit of a leap now and then. It's amazing how a warm smile or some good conversation can quickly fill you with the hope and confidence that gets depleted during periods of isolation.

Rhys Essien

They say regular exercise is the best remedy for depression.It releases 'feel good' chemicals in the brain.A friend who had bad depression told me after a good walk he felt a lot happier.
Also a good diet is very important.You are what you eat and all that.
All the best,and hope things improve.

Cavehill Red

If you're in the care of a medic, then you should really listen to their advice and guidance rather than the opinions of anonymous people on the internet.
I'd say that up front.
But to answer your question, you can buy St John's Wort in significant amounts over the counter in Newry, Derry or Belfast. It is known to counteract with certain cardiac drugs, and obviously, it mightn't be adviseable to take alongside actual anti-depressants, such as SSRIs.
But it remains a disgrace that such an effective and inert herbal drug for treating mild to medium-term depression is effectively unavailable in the Republic.
The other thing I'd mention is daylight lamps. Massively popular in the Nordic countries and should be here too, given how dull our skies are most of the time. A genuinely useful investment for anyone who gets the blues, especially during Winter months.