Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

ItsAWindUp

Princess Peach wrote: »

I only went to get help in my final year of college, couldn't study at all and didn't care enough to even go to class most days. I started on medication and saw the college counselor and it really helped a lot for me, got a 1.1 in the end, even after missing a few exams first semester cause I wasn't feeling up for them.

Do you have a guidance couselor in school? I know its scary but it will be worth it in the end if you get good results

I'm not sure tbh I've never heard of one.

HalloweenJack

I've found myself dwelling on the negative things in my life lately.

Today, I was told that I almost lost a contract for my company. I've been taken off the job and it's been wrecking my brain all day. I'd been feeling pretty confident recently but this has thrown a spanner in the works big time. I was told that I'll have a meeting with my boss about it but I haven't heard any more on it.

What's frustrating is I know I'm not in danger of losing my job. In the same email I got telling me about been taken off that job, I was told I'm being put onto another one. I have plenty of work at the moment and this is the first spot of trouble I've had since I started working here about three months ago.

However, the whole thing is making me doubt my ability to do my job. After I got that message, all these doubts popped up from nowhere and wouldn't go away. It was so difficult to concentrate that I went to bed just to shut off my brain for a while and kept away from the worry. Since I woke up, I've been feeling a bit better.

I have a very busy day tomorrow and the day after, I don't get much free time and I'm always very tired at the end of those days. I don't if this will be good or bad for me right now. I'm hoping I'll be too tired to think and worry about it. I am dreading having to go and see my boss about it, though. I'm hoping I'll just have to give an explanation and tell them what I did during the job. What's worrying me is that I felt like I was doing a good job and I would've done the same job if I could go back and do it all over again. If that level I've been working at is not good enough for others, then maybe I'm not good enough for my job.

HalloweenJack

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Tl;dr - took too long to realise i needed help, now in utter pieces but too scared to move, what next?

It sounds like your friend is trying to guide you towards opening up more about your problems, try with your doctor. Maybe they can change your medication or get you a referral.

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with what goes on on that side of things, though. I'm sure some other posters will have more info.

Princess Peach

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

I'm not sure tbh I've never heard of one.

I was in a bigger school so we had one, she wasn't really a trained counselor though. Maybe take a trip to your doctor for a chat. They can refer you to a counselor if ye think it might help. My sister is in leaving cert year and started seeing a counselor to help her with stress and depression, I've noticed an improvement in her already. Started asking me about college courses today, good sign she is hopeful!

My medication really helped me with motivation and concentration and focus, but your doctor will help you decide what is best for you.

Mars Bar

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

I'm not sure tbh I've never heard of one.

Most secondary schools don't from what I gather which is a crying shame.

When I was in first year, my best friend had a brain hemorrhage in school and we saw how she suffered. I always had guilty feelings about it as I got scared and didn't help but we were told, "if you didn't see blood, then you're fine." There was no counseling offered. My feelings from that situation weren't addressed for 9 years! :eek:

In 5th year, one of the lads in the boys school committed suicide. He had many friends in the girls school as well as the boys school. We found it hard but still no counseling was offered in the girls school, only in the guys school.

In college, I struggled with motivation and concentration in my final year. Medication definitely helped.

IHeartChemistry

Having severe bad few days. Feeling awful. Not sleeping, keep crying and just wanna scream. I hate feeling this ****e I'd end it all if I could but I'd be too afraid to. Half tempted to let myself spiral back down just so I could do something. Make things worse on purpose. Ugggggggggh

Seren_

IHeartChemistry wrote: »

Having severe bad few days. Feeling awful. Not sleeping, keep crying and just wanna scream. I hate feeling this ****e I'd end it all if I could but I'd be too afraid to. Half tempted to let myself spiral back down just so I could do something. Make things worse on purpose. Ugggggggggh

*hug* It'll be okay. You know what? if you want to scream, do it! It might let out some of the tension inside you. Do something nice for yourself that will make you feel better, even if it's something small. If you ever need a chat I'm here x

I felt crap this morning, and ended up skipping the entire day of college. Which is stupid, because attendance at classes is mandatory arrrrrrrghhh >.< I have so much to do at the minute, and I just feel like I'm drowning in a sea of work... The cycle continues. So much for doing well in college this year

Printemps93

IHeartChemistry wrote: »

Having severe bad few days. Feeling awful. Not sleeping, keep crying and just wanna scream. I hate feeling this ****e I'd end it all if I could but I'd be too afraid to. Half tempted to let myself spiral back down just so I could do something. Make things worse on purpose. Ugggggggggh

Im in there with you

Seren_

My thoughts are speeding in my head 100 miles a minute... Seriously anxious right now for some reason!!

jammstarr

Do any of ye keep on thinking about things too much? Like things you regret. For example a falling out with a friend due to constantly having a low mood or a chance not taken because of anxiety? Just seems to be fuel for the fire here lately.

stupidusername

jammstarr wrote: »

Do any of ye keep on thinking about things too much? Like things you regret. For example a falling out with a friend due to constantly having a low mood or a chance not taken because of anxiety? Just seems to be fuel for the fire here lately.

i think about things like that all the time, and i mean ALL the time. but most of the time i don't even realise it. been feeling a bit lonely lately, and thinking if i could not be so afraid of rejection I could approach some guys, but it'll never happen.

jammstarr

stupidusername wrote: »

i think about things like that all the time, and i mean ALL the time. but most of the time i don't even realise it. been feeling a bit lonely lately, and thinking if i could not be so afraid of rejection I could approach some guys, but it'll never happen.

Yeah I'm the same: looking back on all relationships, both friendly and romantic, and they all ended badly. It's a bit of a confidence drain especially when feeling lonely.

stupidusername

jammstarr wrote: »

Yeah I'm the same: looking back on all relationships, both friendly and romantic, and they all ended badly. It's a bit of a confidence drain especially when feeling lonely.

you've made me realise how much of my time is spent thinking about this stuff. i think about regrets, things i'm angry over, things i'm not happy with, things i can't change, whether or not my friends are real friends, what people think of me. wow. it's a wonder i manage to actually do anything with my time.

jammstarr

stupidusername wrote: »

you've made me realise how much of my time is spent thinking about this stuff. wow. it's a wonder i manage to actually do anything with my time.

It's a hard train of thought to get out of too. :mad:

Printemps93

jammstarr wrote: »

Do any of ye keep on thinking about things too much? Like things you regret. For example a falling out with a friend due to constantly having a low mood or a chance not taken because of anxiety? Just seems to be fuel for the fire here lately.

I'm the exact same . I also get the bouts of paranoia on boards sometime - thats how I know somethings not right

jammstarr

Printemps93 wrote: »

I'm the exact same . I also get the bouts of paranoia on boards sometime - thats how I know somethings not right

Yeah paranoia ain't good at all.

foxinsox

Gremlinertia wrote: »

First off apologies for crash landing so rudely into the thread, been lurking since it started, now it's time to actually try talk a bit i think. Bear with me, there may be rambling, actually better put a tl;dr at the end.
Last year i finally gave in and admitted i needed some help, only about ten years after i should might i add, so tried a few anti-d's and thought, right lets use these for a bit and it'll all be rosie in the garden in a while. However over december/january (2010-2011) a number of friends of mine died, i have attempted to say i'm fine but recently about the only person who still talks to me sat me down and said i may go off and continue killing myself or seek help. I, of course, didn't realise everyone could see me going to pieces.
But.
Wtf is my next step? I'm frightened sh1tless to move, feel like a rabbit in headlights, i mean logical route is get doc to refer me to some form of psych doc. Fine. I'm just too frightened to actually admit i need more than my few tablets a day to stop me veering unerringly towards killing myself. Where do i reach for the courage? Strength? Balls? To tell my doc that really i want to die still and need more help?

Tl;dr - took too long to realise i needed help, now in utter pieces but too scared to move, what next?

Don't be scared

Firstly well done on your post. It takes quite a lot to admit you need help. I've been at the lowest of the low at certain times of my life too.

Please make sure you have a good chat with your doctor. It is really important to have a good doctor. They are there to help. It could just be that a slight adjustment is needed in your meds.

Go see your doctor and chat and tell him/her how you are feeling, be honest with them.

Things can and will get better for you.

I'll be thinking of you

onedaysoon

Hi guys..lurking about here a while..mid 30s and have low negative mood as long as I can remember..I try to help myself every so often but fall into same pattern..have seen several GP and they throw you a few prozac and off with you..counsellors too..never seem to be able to change.
On and off prozac..excercise for a month then lose interest.
Have lost numerous relationships due to my low mood.
Its nice that im not alone but want to change,feel im wasting my life.
Need a wake up call..any tips guys..
Or do I have to accept that this is life..:(

starviewadams

Out of hospital after my ''rest''.Was quite scary for the first night but then they drugged me up the next morning with some anti-psychotic and I can't really remember much about the rest of my stay there,except arguing with the guy in the bed next to me for playing his radio real loud and sitting spaced out in the smoking room with some scary looking old lady.

Doc's in there upped my lithium and cipramil again but I still feel quite shít,was hoping this stay would recharge me like my first stay there last year but I don't think it has.Running out of ideas.

a fat guy

Can't any of you just chill out?

I'm quite paranoid myself, but if you keep those thoughts to yourself then you'll seem perfectly normal.

And fitting in is simple from there.

tbh

a fat guy wrote: »

Can't any of you just chill out?

I'm quite paranoid myself, but if you keep those thoughts to yourself then you'll seem perfectly normal.

And fitting in is simple from there.

I think for the majority of posters on the thread, it's simply not that easy. Listen, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not trolling, but do us a favour - don't post flippantly in this thread, ta.

LegacyUser

I've been feeling kinda crappy the last week or so. Have gone through phases of depression last few years so I can feel one coming on if that makes sense.

Stomach is bad, i'm anxious, same old stuff really. When I get like this I always think I should turn to family or a friend. But there always seems to be some sort of "drama" in my family and anytime I phone someone the chat starts there, and I dont know....I dont want to add to it.

I'm male, so I always have great difficulty turning to my male friends when I am like this. Last time I did it, was just a general chat with a friend, he was going through some medical stuff, so was telling me about it, he then asked how I was, I told him I was feeling pretty crappy, and he ignored it and continued on about his own thing. Meh.....I actually feel bad for saying that.

I have a few female friends also, who I have always found easier to talk to, but I am aware that having someone say things about being depressed etc isnt always the easiest thing to hear. So I havent really spoke to them about it this time.

Meh, I hate feeling like this. I'm usually a fun person to be around, but when I feel like this its like that guy dissapears. Anyway, I'm anxious, I'm lonely, I get to go home to an empty house every night. And wait.

Kranium

Can't live , Can't die , losing one of my best friends because I'm so miserable all the live long day

starviewadams

Was drinking all day,considered necking a whole bottle of diazepam and ending it,but the thought of my landlord having to find my body put me off it.

Don't know what to do to be quite honest.

Seren_

starviewadams wrote: »

Was drinking all day,considered necking a whole bottle of diazepam and ending it,but the thought of my landlord having to find my body put me off it.

Don't know what to do to be quite honest.

*hug*

Ring the samaritans, go to a&e, make an app to see your doctor - just make sure to talk to someone about the way you're feeling. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it doesn't seem temporary at the minute (I do know, I've been there so many times myself), but you won't feel as bad in a while.

Kranium

starviewadams wrote: »

Was drinking all day,considered necking a whole bottle of diazepam and ending it,but the thought of my landlord having to find my body put me off it.

Don't know what to do to be quite honest.

arent you afraid of death?

IHeartChemistry

Your Text Here wrote: »

*hug*

Ring the samaritans, go to a&e, make an app to see your doctor - just make sure to talk to someone about the way you're feeling. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it doesn't seem temporary at the minute (I do know, I've been there so many times myself), but you won't feel as bad in a while.

+1 to that. If you need help, we are all here. We all go through this together and when one of us is having a bad day, we help each other out of it Had a rough week myself, pulled through it though! I always use my suicide attempts as a learning curve. At the end of the day, s'not worth it. People do care. Just hang in there! I'm only a PM away

Gi joe!

starviewadams wrote: »

Was drinking all day,considered necking a whole bottle of diazepam and ending it,but the thought of my landlord having to find my body put me off it.

Don't know what to do to be quite honest.

Hey starviewadams I'm sorry to hear that, you must in a lot of pain at the moment. I'm not in a great place myself, with my life slowly going down the toilet, I have had recurrent thoughts of ending it all over the past few week.

Rest assured you're not alone in feeling this way, no matter how bad it gets. Hope things improve for you!

a fat guy

tbh wrote: »

I think for the majority of posters on the thread, it's simply not that easy. Listen, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not trolling, but do us a favour - don't post flippantly in this thread, ta.

Alright, I'll give you that I didn't post here with the proper respect, but from my own experiences people who said that they were depressed were only looking for attention.

Example: One of my former friends claimed that one of her friends died just to get out of failing her college exams. This was a year after one of our friends had died, which she cried at. I couldn't believe that she'd actually do something like that and I've thought of her as utter scum since then. She also claimed that she had tried to kill herself before. People just don't mention that kind of stuff in passing. And she is constantly doing attention-seeking things. Such as hopping onto her boyfriend (of that time, she hops from man to man. And she still finds time to call other women sluts) when she's in the middle of a conversation so that every HAS to notice what she's doing.

Anyway, rant over, but that's basically why I was posting flippantly, as you put it. I've never come across the actual sufferer's of depression and other mental illness's, just attention-seekers. Other than my Grandma that is, but she's just plain mad. So it's not exactly in the same vein as ye.

You all have my sympathies, though I know they will do no good.

If it helps, I could hang out around here for a while...

tbh

a fat guy wrote: »

If it helps, I could hang out around here for a while...

I think it could certainly help you to read the thread, but please don't post in the thread again.