Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

foxinsox

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Feeling waves of panic tonight at work, trying to breath calmly but such a struggle. I think it's because i've finally decided to be properly honest with my doctor this week and give him a letter (there's no way i could say it all) that records how a day(or days) goes for me. Think he needs to know that 'me' is disappearing, i step outside myself so much that some day i might not get back in.

I've to make the call for the appointment in the morning. Can't chicken out. Quick question, there's some of you in this group that are very articulate, if you've been to your doctor, how hard was it to let go and say everything that's gone crazy with you? I can't believe that i'm so s***less about this, i'm normally blunt to a fault but can't tackle this at all.

Don't worry about doctors appointment

Writing a letter is a great idea, I do that sometimes, or even just a list of feelings/symptoms.

Sometimes I've walked into my doctors office and burst into tears, actually a fair few times. I tell her exactly how I am feeling, in fact she is the only one that I would say "everything" to.

Doctors are trained to deal with your feelings and then can advise you on a solution.

I promise you you will feel better after your visit, even if you just have a good ol cry!

best of luck

cloud493

Does anyone know... how not to be alone?
And on a practical level, what to do about the insomnia?

thrilledskinny

starviewadams wrote: »

Good article written by the ex footballer Stan Collymore,pretty much sums up what I'm like when things are bad:

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

Thanks so much for linking this, his post should be put on the front page of every newspaper for a day. No one knows what we go through, and every one presumes we must be weird or mad when we are not. We are just normal with a problem no one wants to acknowledge or talk about.

Thanks again. Am going to use his post to show my Boyfriend. After 3 years he still doesnt understand, though he tries...

Take care...

LegacyUser

Hey.

For the past 3/4 years iv struggled pretty badly with aniexty/social aniexty problems. It's related to incidents that occured during my late teens, bullying, and as a result of that a bad problem with alcohol/drugs during college causing more problems with people I cared about.

I still drink far too much on a weekly basic, sometimes 8-10 cans for a week in a row. Although I can say to myself I won't drink tonight and then theres no problem. I don't think its down to boredom, it's down to being mentally tired. Its very hard to explain, I could be exhausted mentally but run 5 miles without a problem.

I've been out of work for a year and I'm living at home - As a result of the bullying I have no friends in this area, also it seems like a new generation of people live here now and the aniexty gets so inflated even to step out of my front door incase someone I used to know sees me is hard. I know its stupid but its just the way it is.

My main problem related to the Aniexty is my concentration/stress levels. For example if I was to sit down doing a crossword/exam for the first while I can completly focus, but after 15 minutes I will feel exhausted, mentally, not phsyically and very stressed - alot of the time this leads to my feel like a hot face? Not sure how to describe it but its a pretty common sympton of Aniexty disorders.

I wouldn't say im depressed, I have keen interests in pretty much everything I had since childhood , and I have no problem not being around people or keeping to myself. Video games, movies, strategic games, music, sport etc. I have never considered anything like suicide and in my mind I never will - cause I don't feel like that... down all the time - usually im fine! But mentally there is a feeling there day in day out - which obviously is the aniexty. ( It doesn't affect me in my own home )

I'm just not sure what to do - i really want to fix these concentration problems so I can apply myself to find a new job. I'd prefer not to go the meds route - would changing diet / increased exercise / quitting alcohol/tobacco possibly lead to a reduction in the aniexty levels so that working day in day out wouldn't feel like prison? In my last job I used to make an excuse everyday not to sit with people for tea etc and eventually they stopped asking me - The few times I did go my seat would be left with sweat and I just like a huge weight had been lifted... It eventually made me distant from alot of people if not all the people in my department - just horrible.

Anyway thanks for reading if you did.

starviewadams

Crap weekend,don't know why I even attempt to fit in with my so called friends,its just so futile.

Appointment with the shrink next week can't come soon enough,hopefully I can convince him/her to just dope me up over the christmas period.Can't see me being able to get through it any other way.

LegacyUser

Finally went to GP on Thursday after a bad bout of depression and anxiety. He prescribed me 50mg of lustral. Just been feeling awful since I spoke to him. I expected to feel much better that I got help but it doesn't seem to have made a difference.

Im 24 now but was on meds (prozac) when I was about 15 because I was self harming and suicidal. I told my mother who convinced me to see a doctor back then. However after a few months my mother didn't think I needed them anymore and I stopped even though I knew I did need them. I have been struggling since to cope and finally got the courage to see a doctor myself.

I haven't got any close friends who I trust and I know everyone in my family hates me because my moods are so bad so there is no one I can talk to. The doctor said I needed to talk to a counsellor but also to a friend or a family member so i could get support. I don't know where to turn.

I also have a son and I'm afraid everyone will think I'm a bad mother and that I don't love him enough. The truth is if it weren't for him I know I would have killed myself by now.

qwerty2010

So sorry to all of you who are suffering with depression. Have been there, and it's pure horrific and am finally coming out the other side.

If you're on facebook you might be interested in this group. It's a great support, and a very friendly group. Hope it's ok to post xx

http://www.facebook.com/groups/depressionmhsupport/

I had what I think was a panic attack on Friday.

I was invited to a birthday party in a pub in the Liberties. It was someone I knew well, a friend of the family. However, once I finished work on Friday I started getting a tense chest pain and some other aches and pains in parts of my body. I was also breathing heavily and shaking. At first I thought I might be having a heart attack or something (despite being only 27) but I ended up walking 3½ miles to the party out of pure fear for what was wrong with me.

Once I got there, around 9 or so, I then started feeling nauseous and said I'd only stay for an hour or so. However, I then got settled in and was introduced to a very nice girl there. I didn't leave until 1am or so!

I really don't understand why I felt that way. All I can assume is it was a social gathering and therefore going along to it was bursting my bubble. However I never want to feel that way again, it was frightening!

stupidusername

Do you think the party having worked out well for you might help you feel more at ease with social situations in future?

stupidusername

stupidusername wrote: »

Do you think the party having worked out well for you might help you feel more at ease with social situations in future?

I'd hope so but couldn't say for sure. I have been out with this person on several other occasions but this was the first time in months. I think I disconnected myself much more over the last while.

stupidusername

Yeah that could happen when you've been away from something for a while. The problem with panic attacks is oncey you do get them you tend to worry about getting another,and that worry can bring it on.

Captain Graphite

Got a letter in the post today about making an appointment for counselling. I'd almost forgotten I was due a letter since it had been so long ago that the idea of counselling was first floated. I suppose I have nothing to lose by going for it. I really hope it helps but I don't wanna get my hopes up in case it doesn't and I just end up disillusioned and disappointed.

I thought things were starting to look up but this week has been a real kick in the teeth.

LegacyUser

Hey guys
I have been for therapy for the first time for the past four weeks but I do not know where it is going tbh. It is not what I expected - like I expected that he might go through bad experiences and how I can deal with them better etc. but instead he has been recommending that I start painting, and giving me films to watch, and telling me to breathe deeply and dress more brightly. I guess I don't really know what to expect as I have never gone to another therapist... I just want to feel better

LegacyUser

I read this thread every now and then but this is my first time posting in it. Im in my early 20s and ive had a problem with depression and anxiety for a good while now. I guess growing up I had fairly low self esteem. I got a lot for abuse when I started secondar school and in a way I was made feel like there was something wrong with me. I wont get into that though or my post will be massive. I guess I allways felt that there was something wrong with but I could never really pin down what it was. Over the last few years my anxiety and depression have really escalated. Ive gone through some pritty bad bouts over the last two year, Im kinda stuck in one at the moment. Ive gotten to the stage where I dont really look forward to anything. I find it hard to see anything good in my future, I know Im still young but I really feel I have very little going for me.

Anxiety seem to hit me out of no where, I think its mainly brough on by stress. Something Ive notice receltly is that theres allways something that Im anxious about. Like it could be some kind of social event ive been invited thats comming up in a few weeks that ive been invited to or something thats much futher down the line that I have to do. I have some friends and I try to get on with most people but I'm actually pritty bad with dealing with people. I think once I get to know someone and can relate to them I slowely begin feel more comfortable.

I dont really have anyone I can go to about these problems. Ive seen in similar threads, people saying that theres a huge stigma assoicated with depression in this country and I think this is true. I feel if people found out they would hold it agains me. You know the way people love to gossip and bitch about other peoples problems. I have a propper boards account but I didnt want to use it incase this could be traced back to me. Is that bad? I just dont really feel comfortable opening up to people.

I'm not really sure where Im going with this post I just felt compled to post something. Sorry if it a bit all over the place. These a lot more I want to say but Im having trouble putting it into words.

Thanks

luckyfrank

the last week being feeling really good, still on lexapro but for some reason im feeling good i feel positive and my energy levels have improved

IHeartChemistry

Anyone else dreading Christmas and the New Year? I feel ill even thinking about it.

cloud493

IHeartChemistry wrote: »

Anyone else dreading Christmas and the New Year? I feel ill even thinking about it.

Yeah it'll be false smiles all around.

starviewadams

IHeartChemistry wrote: »

Anyone else dreading Christmas and the New Year? I feel ill even thinking about it.

Yeah,I wish that I could just sleep right through it,dreading the thought of having to pretend to be happy in front of my extended family.

Temaz

dreading it also. Horrible time of the year.

IHeartChemistry

starviewadams wrote: »

Yeah,I wish that I could just sleep right through it,dreading the thought of having to pretend to be happy in front of my extended family.

I'd be quite happy to sleep from the 23rd to the 2nd. The fake happiness and uggggh. I hate Christmas.

HalloweenJack

Not looking forward to Christmas because I have a very poor relationship with my step-father. There's a billion things that annoy me about him.

To avoid upsetting my mother and because I was financially dependent on her, I bottled up my feelings towards him and that caused me a lot of problems. I haven't lived at home for a while so it hasn't been such a problem but I'm really dreading the week at home because I know he's going to annoy me and I'm not sure how I'll react. As I don't live at home anymore and I'm financially independent, in a way, I feel like I've nothing to lose if I do flip out at him but I really don't want to upset my mother. At the same time, bottling up my anger isn't good either.

I'm also severely anxious about the Christmas party at work on Thursday night. I've only been in my job a short time and I don't know a lot of the people that well. I've had panic attacks in similar situations before and I can already see myself having one on Thursday evening. I know if I go, I will feel awkward as I have trouble relaxing around people I don't know but I know if I don't go, I'll regret it. I know drink helps me relax around people I don't know but I also don't drink too much as I find it hard to stop when I do. Thankfully, I'm working on Friday so that's enough motivation for me to keep my drinking in line.

stupidusername

I imagine there's an awful lot of people out there that really hate the Christmas holidays, and yet it's still taken to be an enjoyable time. it's a pity it's not more acceptable not to have to go home for it.

as it happens this is my first christmas not going to be spent at home. i've a friend that can't travel home (out of the country) for it, and so i'm staying to keep her company. think it's a bit weird though as i will miss my nephews. and in a way i'll be worrying more about things at home, because i know my sister will have to deal with entertaining everyone by herself.

it's just as well we're all experienced actors by now

For me I'm actually looking forward to it. I get on well with my family and don't know where I'd be without them.

Mars Bar

I'm looking forward to Christmas simply because I know it won't (hopefully) be worse than last year. It'll be short as well so it'll be sweet.

Princess Peach

I am really looking forward to Christmas! It is the first year in so long I haven't felt down in the run up to it. Only realised that the other day I can remember the last few years trying a few things to get a bit of Christmas cheer, but just giving up and feeling a bit grinchy and bleh. This December is a good one for once.

Leaving for Canada after Christmas and my doctor advised me to pick up what is left on my prescription and then find a doctor there after a few months. Not looking forward to paying for them in one go

degausserxo

I'm actually looking forward to Christmas, purely because I can sleep and lounge around all day and not be tutted at. Definite dip lately, the past month or two. Left college in 2009 and I'm repeating the LC now, but it's really hard. The stress of it all caused another bout of psychosis lasting about two days last week.. Got quite bad on the way into school, won't go into detail but I basically lost an hour from the time I got off the bus to the time I got into school (which is only a ten min walk from the bus stop so I've no idea where the other fifty mins went). Can't remember a thing. Told the guidance councillor, was sent to my psych and was told to take time off til after Christmas but I can't, there's just too much stuff to be done. Had a nurse in the house with me on saturday and sunday to keep tabs. Ramble ramble. Anyway, hopefully things'll pick up over the holidays. Nowhere near as bad as things have been before, which is the bright side, but I'm just trying not to slip any further.

RubyXI

This will be my first single Christmas in 9 years. Don't really know how I'll feel about. Spend the holidays with family anyway so it mightn't make much difference. I don't do the whole depression thing with family so Christmas is usually ok. I do get bored though so that can be a problem. It will be more of a problem when I realise i have no one to text on Christmas day to say happy christmas to. Or on new years eve knowing that everyone is out having fun and feeling a looser.

djk1000

I always thought that Boards needed a depression forum of its own, a private one where people with clinical depression could get to know each other and learn about their illness. A recent After Hours thread spurred me on to put in a new forum request here please lend your support, add any comments, or of course disagree with the idea if you want!

D.

LegacyUser

Im neither looking forward to or dreading christmas, Im just meh about the whole thing. I had the same feeling last year. Im dreading new years tho. Last year I experienced my first panic attack. It happend just before I headed out. I was ment to be meeting up with a few people but I was suddenly gripped with fear about going. I managed to pull myself together and I eventually headed out but I was fairly shook. I think I acted really odd for the night. I had a good few people comment on how off or odd I was, including a few people I didnt even know. The next day I had another panic attack, but this one was much worse. It must of lasted about half a hour, I was just pacing up and down the room trying to catch my breath with my mind going a millon miles a second. I think this was brought on by the though of how I acted the night before and how people must think Im a freak or something. I think Im going to avoid going out this year.

Rosiestar

Hi, I'm new to this thread, but not new to major depression (treatment resistant) for over 20 years and not unusually am a little upbeat about Christmas (which always dramatically goes the other way as soon as its over, January and consecutive months are normally hell on earth) but I'll take what I can get.

Just a question, I have quite severe anxiety mainly in the form of palpitations (am already on betablockers which aren't very helpful) and was last week put on Lyrica 50mg am and pm by my consultant psych whom I see every 3 to 4 weeks, and I was just wondering is anyone here is on or was on this med for anxiety and if so, how they found it and what were the side effects etc.

Thanks.