Sell off one county at a time?

Red_Marauder

Now when my old Pops found himself up Queer Street with the Bank of Ireland back in the 1950s, a time when Ireland was experienced in black and white and Ian Paisley was the Devils' rent boy, he did what any other responsible householder would do.

He sold enough acres of extra land to keep farming and sent my Dad off to Dublin for some book-learnin'.

Should we learn the lessons of the humble farmer?
Is it time we started shifting our underperforming assets to some wealthy Arabs? Maybe some diasporic Americans? Or Arab-Americans?

Where should we look to first? I nominate Clare - lots of Americans are interested in Doolin and the "Cliffs of Mo-hair". Bit of prime real-estate in a recovering international market?

So where would you nominate, and why?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Sell Kerry to the US. It'll bump the average IQ up of both nations.

partyatmygaff

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Sell Kerry to the US. It'll bump the average IQ up of both nations.

Kerry isn't a nation.

So much for bumping up the IQ....

Red_Marauder

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Kerry isn't a nation.

So much for bumping up the IQ....

He meant Ireland's IQ and American IQ

Are you from Kerry?:)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Kerry isn't a nation.

So much for bumping up the IQ....

I meant Ireland. Would have thought that was obvious. You see we can't sell the entire country, or the exercise would be pointless; and the IQ of the county of Kerry won't change one way or the other.

Cianos

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Now when my old Pops found himself up Queer Street with the Bank of Ireland back in the 1950s, a time when Ireland was experienced in black and white and Ian Paisley was the Devils' rent boy, he did what any other responsible householder would do.

He sold enough acres of extra land to keep farming and sent my Dad off to Dublin for some book-learnin'.

Should we learn the lessons of the humble farmer?
Is it time we started shifting our underperforming assets to some wealthy Arabs? Maybe some diasporic Americans? Or Arab-Americans?

Where should we look to first? I nominate Clare - lots of Americans are interested in Doolin and the "Cliffs of Mo-hair". Bit of prime real-estate in a recovering international market?

So where would you nominate, and why?

Ireland is one big suburb now so I don't see what there's left for anyone to sell.

Rented Mule

Didn't you aready try this with the Germans back in the early 80s ?

dcmu

Red_Marauder wrote: »

He meant Ireland's IQ and American IQ

Are you from Kerry?:)

Ha ha.

ZING!!!

smk89

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Ian Paisley was the Devils' rent boy

Last time I checked he still is

OutlawPete

Ahem

...

seanybiker

OutlawPete wrote: »

Ahem

...

ha ha ha ha ha priceless.

Mr. Incognito

We could sell Cavan to the Mafia.
Think of all the Communion/confirmation Money hidden under the Beds.

We could sell Limerick to International Arms dealers, who will then subdivide it's population amongst various international terrorist groups.

Galway could be sold to Holland to update their stock of shrooms from the Race Course.

We should do what we should have done years ago and brick Cork up and set it adrift in the Ocean. No one wants it, no one deserves it and the inbreeding has gone too far at this stage.

Dublin can be carved up and the North half sold back to Afganistan. The Northside goes to the Heroin dealers. We can pimp the daughters of the affluent South side in Japan to raise funds.

Donegal can be leased out as an off road dirt track experience, the infrastructure is already there.

Technically we don't own the North so we should just do what we should have done when we voted to change the constitution, demand a compo pay off from the Brits.

We should turn Cavan into a hunting ground where the prey is the deadliest game of all, man. No-one half decent has ever come out of the county and those that have smell suspiciously like cabbage. It's time to kill of the cabbage whiff gene once and for all. No-one will miss them.

Kerry can be used as a breeding ground for guards, teachers, and nurses. Strict segregation will be used depending on how many immediate family members are cousins.

The East coast corner will adopt Wommunism. This will incorporate Wicklow, Wexford, Westmeath and Waterford. They will work communial farms for the good of the state. They will be beaten and subjected to intense propoganda. Anyone that complains will be reminded they live in the Sunny south west and that everyone else is worse off than they are. We will dine like Kings on the fruit of the labour, literally.

The rest of the country will be divided up piecemeal and sold on ebay along with an Irish passport to persons of Irish decent/ interest and anyone with money.

I will personally select the finest and fittest examples of ladies from each county to be used as breeding stock to populate the new elite. Everyone else will become Ireland sales pimps. Bill Cullen will lead this charge and it will be televised to be whored to syndicates worldwide. Every week the person with the lowest amount of acres sold off will be set on fire and die writing in agony.

I will set up a facebook campaign in this pursuit. Everyone knows that you can cure cancer/ feed haitians and yes, even pimp Ireland with a well orchistrated facebook campaign.

*Disclaimer
If I haven't mentioned your county it's because it's not really memorable and tends to fade into insignificance. Like Roscommon, it's not common, it's just ****e. Or Louth, "we're the wee county". It's not because you're small, it's because you smell like urine. If that's your claim to fame, we'd be better off setting you on fire and using the nitrate rich ashes as fertiliser. Kilkenny, I haven't mentioned you on purpose. I like your hurling and in my experience your women are tramps and slappers. I respect that.

super_furry

Can we just do whatever it takes to get rid of Cork?

Sofiztikated

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

waffle waffle cavan waffle waffle waffle cavan blah blah blah.

did Cavan really deserve mentioning twice?

We could sell Monaghan to the US, as it looks like Iraq a bit in shape, and apparently the have gold, and sure there's plenty of oil and washed diesel in the county.

Fratton Fred

Sofiztikated wrote: »

did Cavan really deserve mentioning twice?

At least I would say. Although Sean Quinn already thinks he owns the place.

pablomakaveli

I would suggest selling Dublin but who the hell would want to buy it?

bonerm

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Now when my old Pops found himself up Queer Street with the Bank of Ireland back in the 1950s

Easy mistake to make but the branch you're thinking of is on nearby Camden St.

Fratton Fred

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I would suggest selling Dublin but who the hell would want to buy it?

Isn't that a bit like U2 selling Bono? Everyone hates him, but at the end of the day, he is the one that pays the bills and the only one people outside of Ireland recognise.

azezil

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

The East coast corner will adopt Wommunism. This will incorporate Wicklow, Wexford, Westmeath and Waterford. They will work communial farms for the good of the state. They will be beaten and subjected to intense propoganda. Anyone that complains will be reminded they live in the Sunny south west and that everyone else is worse off than they are. We will dine like Kings on the fruit of the labour, literally.

But Westmeath is in the midlands, nowhere near the other 'W's...
South east, not west.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

azezil wrote: »

But Westmeath is in the midlands, nowhere near the other 'W's...
South east, not west.

it'll be an enclave, so.

Mr. Incognito

it'll be an enclave, so.

It can be our East Germany

Asthetically not much difference.

did Cavan really deserve mentioning twice?

Hadn't noticed that, was late and I was tired, but if you think about it, Is any cavan man going to be seperated from his pennies willingly?

bonerm

I'd sell Laois. No-one even knows where it is anyway so we wouldn't miss it.

billymitchell

OutlawPete wrote: »

Ahem

...

LOL

powerfade

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Isn't that a bit like U2 selling Bono? Everyone hates him, but at the end of the day, he is the one that pays the bills and the only one people outside of Ireland recognise.

You mean creates the bills, this whole financial mess stems from Dublin. The only place outside of Ireland that people recognise, how Dublincentric of you. What Dublin has given us,
Bertie
tracksuit wearing,baseball hats halfway up their head knackers Michael Murray
junkies/mugging/abuse/racism
southside 'clones' blonde hair/fake tan, tracksuits with dubes/uggs
Expensive pints, actually overpriced everything
Southside accent, Roysh/fock where did this come from??!?!?
Northside accent Howiya,
Traffic/M50 taxi drivers- I don't give a fcuk what your opinion is on everything
Beggars, of the Romanian kind
Boyzone- Ronan Keating
Spire
Joe Duffy/Amanda Brunker/Ryan Tubridy/Gerry Dickhead Ryan
Fair City
Dublin Bus scumbags/abuse/smoking
Airport -embarrassing as a European capital how long it takes to get in and out to the airport at peak times
Dublin football team, it's your year this year isn't it
Gardiner Street
Martin Cahill/Martin Foley(Viper)/Westies
Overpriced housing, yes still majorly overpriced/rent overpriced

I live in Dublin and have to due to work. The quality of life in Dublin is fairly sh!t and I guess I'm lucky to have a big group of friends and a good job up here. Guess I'll just sit back here and await the backlash....

GavRedKing

Offaly for me. Waste of good space on the map.

Ollchailin

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Kilkenny, I haven't mentioned you on purpose. I like your hurling and in my experience your women are tramps and slappers. I respect that.

Yeay, Kilkenny! Hurlers n' hos!

3hn2givr7mx1sc

bonerm wrote: »

I'd sell Laois. No-one even knows where it is anyway so we wouldn't miss it.

HEY!:mad: Stop That.:pac:
The most inland county in Ireland.:D..with the biggest surf club in Ireland.:o

Sell 'em all except Laois, Clare, Dublin and Limerick.
Laois 'cause I live here, Clare 'cause I'm from there, we need Dublin for our Christmas shopping and I plan to go to college in UL.:cool:

newmember2

bonerm wrote: »

Red_Marauder wrote: »

Now when my old Pops found himself up Queer Street with the Bank of Ireland back in the 1950s

Easy mistake to make but the branch you're thinking of is on nearby Camden St.

<...tumbleweed gently rolls by...>

Absurdum

powerfade wrote: »

The quality of life in Dublin is fairly sh!t and I guess I'm lucky to have a big group of friends and a good job up here.

so in other words

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Isn't that a bit like U2 selling Bono? Everyone hates him, but at the end of the day, he is the one that pays the bills and the only one people outside of Ireland recognise.

is absolutely correct

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

powerfade wrote: »

You mean creates the bills, this whole financial mess stems from Dublin.

We're not the dopey feckers who keep voting them in!

The only place outside of Ireland that people recognise, how Dublincentric of you. What Dublin has given us,

Actually true, unfortauntely, and that's coming from expereince, unless said foreigner has actually been to Ireland. But you can say that aboutv most places: outside of the capital city, how many Latvian, Greek or Finnish cities can you name?

Bertie

Yes. We're not proud of that

tracksuit wearing,baseball hats halfway up their head knackers

They exist everywhere. It's not a Dublin phenomenon.

Michael Murray

In fairness, we didn't queue up to SHAKE HIS ****ING HAND now, did we?

junkies/mugging/abuse/racism

Does this not happen outside Dublin, or something?

southside 'clones' blonde hair/fake tan, tracksuits with dubes/uggs

Again, does this no happen outside of Dublin?

Expensive pints, actually overpriced everything

Give you this one. Completely agree.

Southside accent, Roysh/fock where did this come from??!?!?

Cyyyav'n accent an'one?

Northside accent Howiya,

Ah shurr jaysus dare boy r'ya taken de piss outa de way we tak' darr?

Traffic/M50 taxi drivers- I don't give a fcuk what your opinion is on everything

Of course, this is ONLY Dablin taxi drivers, isn't it? Never happens anywhere else?

Beggars, of the Romanian kind

For the last time, it's "Roma" and "Romanian" - at least we know who we're talking about.

Boyzone- Ronan Keating

Again, yes - not proud of this to be honest.

Spire

So you don't like modern sculpture? Philistine!!

Joe Duffy/Amanda Brunker/Ryan Tubridy/Gerry Dickhead Ryan

Only listened to by culchies/who?/culchie in denial/fair point

Fair City

Give you this one. That's Four.

Dublin Bus scumbags/abuse/smoking

Someone's read a thread somewhere else and assumed it's widespread...

Airport -embarrassing as a European capital how long it takes to get in and out to the airport at peak times

Couldn't agree more, but what's the local alternative for you?

Dublin football team, it's your year this year isn't it

Real Dubliners aren't into GAA - pwned!

Gardiner Street

Athlone - touche.

Martin Cahill/Martin Foley(Viper)/Westies

*insert name of career non-Dub criminal here*

Overpriced housing, yes still majorly overpriced/rent overpriced

Here - you mentioned this already - you're not getting another point for it!

I live in Dublin and have to due to work. The quality of life in Dublin is fairly sh!t and I guess I'm lucky to have a big group of friends and a good job up here. Guess I'll just sit back here and await the backlash....

Hope it was worth waiting for.

FWIW, I used to live there too and wasn't massively impressed, but at least it HAS a public transport system. I live in Westport for a while without a car and that was a nightmare.

ChocolateSauce

I don't want to be seen to be defending Kerry...but it's better than Cork . Also, it has the highest proportion of entry to third level of any part of the country, including south Dublin city, so the "Kerry people are dumb" thing doesn't really add up.