Easter Eggspectations ! And A few Chicken ones !

dak

Q: What happens if you mix up a computer manual with a cook book?
A: You get an Egg-shell spreadsheet!



Q:What does an egg do when he sees a green light?
A: He Egg-celerates!


Q: What do you get when you crossa chicken with a cement mixed?
A: A brick layer!


Q: How did the egg get up the mountain?
A: It scrambled up!


Q: What do eggs tell at parties?
A: Tell yokes!


Q: What did Snow White call her chicken?
A: Egg White!


Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
A: Terri-fried!


Q: What do chickens call a school test?
A: Eggs-amination!


Q: Why did the Egg go to school?
A: To get EGGucated


Q: What do chicken families do on a Sunday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics


Q:Where do chickens pay for their groceries?
A: In the eggs-press lane


Q.What did the chick say when his mum laid an orange
A. Look what marmalade


Q: What do eggs tell their children?
A: Yolk Tales


Q: What do you call an egg lying in the garden?
A. an egg plant

AND A FEW CHICKEN ONES !!

What is Superchicken's real identity? Cluck Kent.

How did the chicken end up in the soup pot? The farmer's wife told her it was a chicken jacuzzi.

What happens when a chicken eats gunpowder? She lays a hand gren-egg.

What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg? The bombshell.

What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg? It egg-splodes.

What happened when the hen ate cement? She laid a sidewalk.

What do chickens serve at birthday parties? Coop-cakes!

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll.

Why did the chicken disappoint his mother? He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

Why did the rooster file for divorce? He was tired of being hen-pecked.

Is chicken soup good for your health? Not if you're the chicken.

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? They go on peck-nics!

Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line.

Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day.

What do you call a chicken with a disability? Hendicapped.

What do call a chicken who got too close to a nuclear plant? Atomic cluck.

Why did the rooster stay outside dring the blizzard? It was 'fowl' weather.

Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order? Attila the Hen.

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? With four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? It wanted to get to the other slide.

Why did the chicken cross the internet? It wanted to get to the other site.

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up? An alarm cluck.

What does an alarm cluck say? Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!

What do you call a crazy chicken? A cuckoo clock.

Why is it easy for chicks to talk? Because talk is cheep.

What do chickens grow on? Eggplants.

Why did the rooster run away? He was chicken.

Why don't chickens like people? Because we beat eggs.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck? A bird that lays down.

Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.

What happened to the chicken whose feathers pointed the wrong way? She was tickled to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? She wanted to see a man lay a brick.

What does a chicken wipe his beak with? A henkerchief.

What time do chickens go to lunch? Twelve o cluck.

Why did the chicken cross the state line? To get out of Kentucky.

Which religious man do chickens fear most? The friar.

How do you know when a chicken is under arrest? She's wearing hencuffs.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls.

Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.

How long do chickens work? Around the cluck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done.

Why did the chicken end up in the soup? Because it ran out of cluck.

Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies.

What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy? You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell? A bird that has to ring its own neck.

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog? Pooched eggs.

Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air? Because eggs were going up.

How do chickens dance? Chick to chick.

Which dance will a chicken not do? The foxtrot.

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road? Because she was afraid someone would caesar!

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double crosser.

What do you call a joke book for chickens? A yolk book.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken? He kicked the bucket.

What do you get from a drunk chicken? Scotch eggs!

Why does a rooster watch TV? For hentertainment.

How do you stop a rooster from crowing on Sunday? Eat him on Saturday!

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange? Dad, dad, look what marma-laid!

Skerries

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dak

Sounds like you are trying to lay an egg !