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Why ARE there so many men here?

  • 24-02-2010 8:38pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭


    This isn't meant to be exclusionary, I'm just genuinely curious.

    Guys: what makes you post here so often? What makes you go to the Ladies Lounge beers?

    I know the default answers are "good discussion" et al, but when you read the name of the forum, realize it's a forum for women, but come here in mass amounts anyway, what's your thought process?

    To me, from the impression I've got from other posters, there seems to be 3 types:

    1) Those who come here to flirt, banter, chat, etc. but claim they have no ulterior motives and "just enjoy the company of girls." Often the ones who give the most thanks to good-looking girls in the picture thread but cry out the loudest when accused.

    2) Those who want to defend men in threads on rights (eg. the rights of men in matters of children) or misconceptions (eg. why are men so afraid of commitment) but have no legitimate interest on the views of the women themselves on the subject matter.

    3) Those who genuinely believe there's good discussion.

    Most guys are obviously going to say they fall into the 3rd group to avoid any fallout, but to be completely honest, overall I'd say the three groups are pretty balanced. Perhaps a lot less of the 1st group now that the rules have been modified a bit.

    But honestly, men, what originally compelled you to establish yourselves in a forum that, in its entire nature, is exclusionary towards you-- not in any malicious way, mind, just insofar that it often covers topics that don't really apply to men-- and is based on women's thoughts and issues? Why did you read the title and description of "the Ladies Lounge" and think, "oh, yeah, this sounds like the place for me!"

    Basically.. how'd you end up here? And what's your point of view on the amount of men who post here? Do you think it's a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think there's a reason for men outnumbering the women (both here and at the beers), and if so, what do you believe the reason to be?


    /mods, I understand this is going to seem kind of offensive to the men, but please believe me when I say I'm genuinely curious and truly enjoy the male input. I just want to know what their own personal reasons were for joining us, and definitely do not intend to imply their presence is unwanted. I do understand if you feel it's pushing the limits and decide to delete it.


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,464 ✭✭✭✭Blazer


    Simply put..we're nosy :)
    We like to know what women are talking about despite our claims not to care :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,347 ✭✭✭Closed ac


    I like women.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 SteeveSmith


    I don't think I fall into any of those categories as I never post here I just lurk. :P

    I visit the other forums too though.

    I don't know why I visit here to be quite honest, I just like to see the female side of life I guess. I'm also the only male in my workplace so you lot give me topics other than football!
    I never post because I never see how my input would be of benefit being male and all.

    As for the 'thanks' point, sure you're all beautiful! :P
    I hope my presence doesn't offend lol.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Girl on the Internet syndrome.
    If you have girls congregating anywhere boys will show up, same here.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    Honestly good discussion and as I am married I am not looking for women but its nice to talk to you....+ because you will never meet me and dont know me you have not got a clue what I look like so I can innocently "Play" with you.

    I know.... Your now saying take a hike.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    I usually lurk around many boards, including this one. I don't believe I've posted here before.

    However, this bit of the first post bothers me.
    Those who want to defend men in threads on rights (eg. the rights of men in matters of children) or misconceptions (eg. why are men so afraid of commitment) but have no legitimate interest on the views of the women themselves on the subject matter.

    It seems to tar all men who come in here to defend men on threads with the one brush - they are stubborn, ignorant and care not for the views of the ladies here in TLL. A rather offensive thing to say IMO, completely nullifying your claim to not want to be offensive at the end of your post tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    I usually lurk in here, don't believe I've do so before.

    However, this bit of the first post bothers me.



    It seems to tar all men who come in here to defend men on threads with the one brush - they are stubborn, ignorant and care not for the views of the ladies here in TLL. a rather offensive thing to say IMO, which is why I've posted.

    I'm not saying all men who come here to defend men have no interest in the thoughts of the women here. I'm just saying there's certain posters who seem to fall into this group and have a pattern of diverting discussions into issues about men's rights when the thread originally was asking for the feelings of the women.

    But by no means do all defenders of gender do that, not at all, so please don't take it up that way.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    interesting topics make me post. Dont give a fiddlers which part of the forum its in. I already have my princess so its not to flirt.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    liah wrote: »
    I'm not saying all men who come here to defend men have no interest in the thoughts of the women here. I'm just saying there's certain posters who seem to fall into this group and have a pattern of diverting discussions into issues about men's rights when the thread originally was asking for the feelings of the women.

    But by no means do all defenders of gender do that, not at all, so please don't take it up that way.

    It just appeared to me that that is exactly what you were saying, after all there is no group 4 ("Men who come here to defend rights or misconceptions in a legitimate debate or exchange of views"). Maybe you implied group 3 meets the criteria of group 4 I mentioned above, but I missed the implication completely.

    Thanks for the clarification though

    *goes back to lurking*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    It just appeared to me that that is exactly what you were saying, after all there is no group 4 ("Men who come here to defend rights or misconceptions in a legitimate debate or exchange of views"). Maybe you implied group 3 meets the criteria of group 4 I mentioned above, but I missed the implication completely.

    Thanks for the clarification though

    *goes back to lurking*

    Nah, I know the groups are generalizations but I assumed most people would understand it doesn't apply to every single poster and that there's obviously crossover between groups, as most people understand about generalizations.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    I quite like the male input here but then again there are the usual female only threads that some guys comment on!

    I find some of the guys you can have a good banter with but then again there are the other p***ks that are just here to rile some women (No digs there either)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Discussion, lets be honest any thread that gets started in AH about...well anything to be honest descends into the usuall bollockology in about 5 posts, sometimes less. Here at least people can have a civilised discussion, heated sometimes, but civilised at least, and isnt that the entire point of a discussion board site? Its also nice to get womens viewpoints on things, likewise I'm sure theres women who post on here who like to get a mans perspective. Do more men really turn up to the nights out? kinda defeats the purpose I would imagine?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 656 ✭✭✭smokie2008


    DKZ wrote: »
    I like women.
    hahaha Nuff Said!!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    krudler wrote: »
    Do more men really turn up to the nights out? kinda defeats the purpose I would imagine?

    For sure! I was at a beers a few weeks back was nearly a ratio 3:1 :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    krudler wrote: »
    Do more men really turn up to the nights out? kinda defeats the purpose I would imagine?

    Allegedly at the last beers there were quite a few more men than women, which made both genders feel quite awkward. I wasn't there, this is just what I've gathered from reading a few threads lately.

    Perhaps someone who was there can offer up some insight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    liah wrote: »
    Perhaps someone who was there can offer up some insight.

    Already ahead of you :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    liah wrote: »
    Basically.. how'd you end up here? And what's your point of view on the amount of men who post here? Do you think it's a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think there's a reason for men outnumbering the women (both here and at the beers), and if so, what do you believe the reason to be?

    I wouldn't be a regular in this forum, not by a long shot. Never went to a beers, never posted in the pictures thread and to my recollection only ever thanked one picture (a picture of a fellow bloke :P).

    I guess the only reason I would post in this forum is when I see a topic that I am heavily interested in, threads on weight loss and religion would be two examples. Also, I like reading general comments from women, it helps me construct more balanced opinions on certain subjects. For example, my view on abortion has been changed considerably by the arguments I have seen in this forum.

    As for why men supposedly outnumbering women on here, I don't know, I wouldn't like to make any assumptions on the character and motives of people. Maybe some male posters see the place as a welcoming social forum, maybe others see it (like me) as a place that can have interesting and informed discussion, maybe some see it as a potential dating site.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,429 ✭✭✭testicle


    There's no men here. I'm a girl...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    liah wrote: »
    Allegedly at the last beers there were quite a few more men than women, .

    If you had a LL "Babychams" instead of "beers" you'd solve a lot of that.

    Also, boys on the internet think girls on the internet must be hot and lonely.

    I only visit for the craic.

    sorry I'll get my coat...........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    krudler wrote: »
    Discussion, lets be honest any thread that gets started in AH about...well anything to be honest descends into the usuall bollockology in about 5 posts, sometimes less. Here at least people can have a civilised discussion, heated sometimes, but civilised at least, and isnt that the entire point of a discussion board site?

    Then complain to the AH mods about it and report posts in ah.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Then complain to the AH mods about it and report posts in ah.

    Given the amount of "yore ma" replies someone could spend all day reporting posts on there :D

    I get why AH is there, its for general chit chat and nothing is to be taken too seriously on there, we have specific forums for more mature discussion, but if you posted a thread on say, the porn issue that ran for a few dozen pages here a while back on AH it'd be nothing but smartarse replies, whereas here there were valid, rational points being posted, got a bit heated but at least it was an interesting discussion


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Replying with yore ma will now get you banned from AH, shows how long from when you have last read there.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Earlier today? that was just an example though, I know people arent allowed do that anymore but it ruined so many threads for ages, like I said I get why its there, I post there plenty but its nice to have forums where an actual discussion can be carried out without internet comedians derailing the thread with responses that dont add anything to the discussion.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    should the question not be why do more woman not post here or go to beers:confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭smellslikeshoes


    Trying to figure out what makes you tick :pac:


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    irishbird wrote: »
    should the question not be why do more woman not post here or go to beers:confused:

    I'd say because boards.ie is 80% male posters, from a survey done in 2005.

    I would say that while there may have been a slight shift in that in the last 5 years, its not by much, and the percentages may not be much different.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭entropi


    I would happily say that i'm a little from column A, and a little from column C...i like some of the chat that can happen in here, some of that can spill over into real life conversation too which makes for interesting debate at times but its all fun:) I also like a small bt of banter, as do most people but serious discussion topics that are posted in here i will comment on, but ONLY if i feel there is something that actually adds to the conversation, and not just for the sake of posting in the thread.

    Through various beers i've met many of you, and am really happy to have done so. You girls are always up for a bit of chat without sleaze necessarily having to come into it and thats how i roll.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think it's partly because the majority of posters on boards are male and so even if a small proportion of them drop in to tLL from time to time they would still out-number the female posters but I think it's also a lot to do with the reason why we all post here, there's good chat, serious debate, some really interesting topics and perspectives given but with all the macho bravado and thanks whoring kept in check... :cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,469 ✭✭✭Pythia


    Just look at the list of top posters on the Know your Loungers thread, it's all category 1 and it's weird tbh.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Scar_L wrote: »
    Simply put..we're nosy :)
    We like to know what women are talking about despite our claims not to care :D

    This. :o

    and for me a little of this:
    1st post wrote:
    Those who want to defend men in threads on rights (eg. the rights of men in matters of children) or misconceptions (eg. why are men so afraid of commitment) but have no legitimate interest on the views of the women themselves on the subject matter.
    with a bit crossed out of course.

    I actually hadn't posted here in AGES until I saw there was a feedback thread recently.So Indecided to lob a few ideas/musings in. Since then a few threads have piqued my interest (I'm like a moth to a flame when discussion of religion pops up).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 692 ✭✭✭gleep


    ....to see when / where the next ladies lounge pillow fight is being held:D


    Seriously though, men are fascinated by women and especially groups of women!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    Galvasean wrote: »
    (I'm like a moth to a flame when discussion of religion pops up).

    More like a predator seeing his wide open prey. :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Wolflikeme


    liah wrote: »
    Guys: what makes you post here so often? What makes you go to the Ladies Lounge beers?

    This to me seems a bit sad/weird! --- And I'm gathering you mean they see when/where it is and just turn up!

    I read boards loads before posting and some AH threads can get a bit stupid after a while. I just like a mixture of male and female input in any discussion and most of the ladies (strangely enough) and a lot of men too are on here so...I wouldn't post for the sake of it though. Or have I!?! I don't think I would.

    By the way, I love how you use those question marks. :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Oh, I forgot to answer why I went to the Ladies Lounge Beers.... KARAOKE!!! :D :cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Captain Chaos


    We're all still trying to find out what you go to the bathroom in groups.

    Nah... seriously, more often than not I'd say it's just trying to get an inside view on the mystery that is the mind of the opposite sex.


    ....because believe it or not, we cannot read minds.:D


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Just a reminder, we will ask people to have a read of the charter before posting.

    Thank you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    Silverfish wrote: »
    Just a reminder, we will ask people to have a read of the charter before posting.

    Thank you.

    Spoilsport.... Heres me think i might learn the female mind...;)


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Spoilsport.... Heres me think i might learn the female mind...;)

    At the end of the day, that's not really what this forum is here for. If thats what guys want to read it for that's grand, but we're hardly spoilsports for sticking to the intent of the forum. The charter may make it clearer to people who seem to have the wrong idea.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    I was gonna post and say that I honestly can't remember what brought me to TLL or what made me stay. Having read this thread, I realise that I am here to act as a counter-balance to the insidious, yet seemingly ubiquitous, male idiocy. "I'm here cos grls r kewl, l0lz." :rolleyes: Way to go lads.



    /dismounts high-horse.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    Silverfish wrote: »
    At the end of the day, that's not really what this forum is here for. If thats what guys want to read it for that's grand, but we're hardly spoilsports for sticking to the intent of the forum. The charter may make it clearer to people who seem to have the wrong idea.

    oh my apologies. That was a genuine joke. I never took it that way. I have generally left it. However you must appreciate its like the girlfriend that leaves the womens mags around.... A man who is about the world will actually read it. Its human nature....


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    And eh, if we could keep this thread civil too that'd be great.

    Thanks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    Cant remember how exactly I ended up here (been a while).Probably a mix of both A & C but has gradually turned into just C now.TBH I really only crop up in the Happy/Sad thread and the Ask Question ones cause I like them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    Cant remember how exactly I ended up here (been a while).Probably a mix of both A & C but has gradually turned into just C now.TBH I really only crop up in the Happy/Sad thread and the Ask Question ones cause I like them.

    And to make us google your dirty infection :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    And to make us google your dirty infection :P
    The happy/sad thread proved its worth :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    The happy/sad thread proved its worth :pac:

    My poor dads eyes have been scarred for life :D

    I think a few of the lads that post contribute alot at times:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I can't remember why I started posting here! :( I have been asking myself recently why I still do, and I think it's because I need to get addicted to a different forum before I am able to drag myself away! :(

    I am an internet addict, this just happens to be the particular forum I am addicted to at the moment!

    I don't come here to letch, at least I think I don't. I genuinely do like the discussion and it has thought me a thing or two about women (Even though that's not what the forum is for).

    I have and am trying to cut back posting in here, but it is hard when to break the habit TBH.

    And to answer the second question, I have never been to a TLL beers, I had at one stage thought of going, now I wouldn't really. Though it would be nice to put faces (and voices) to names, I just don't see the point in being accused of being a letch for meeting a group of people I converse with on a regular basis. And because I fully support the idea of Ladies own beers, it makes sense to have it like.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL


    I'm all three, and i make no excuses for it.

    I am in RL too, i try to adhere to the atmosphere of any forum i frequent...

    but i'm not going to pretend to be something i'm not.

    EDIT: i'd like to make it clear however that i would never intentionally cause offence


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    I found some of the threads in here interesting to read so I came back every so often when I was bored to see what was going on, just became one of the forums that I happen to drop into most days to check up on and that I bother to reply to especially now that have my brain melted in work almost everyday, I find myself lurking/posting more than usual.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Buceph


    Mainly, I come here when I'm bored because I like the people here. There's some very good posters who I know will generally be quite reasonable, even if I don't agree with them. It's a strange place on the internet. There's very little snark here.

    I also come here, for much the same reason I read the LGB forum. I think it's interesting that for Irish culture, gay people and women face difficulties that are caused by prejudice and bigotry. And gay people and women are two large groups who have been a part of Irish society for a long, long time. I can understand there being issues with different nationalities coming here. I really do hope that Irish people's problems with non-Irish come from a culture clash/shock rather than xenophobia or racism. But there are two big groups that have fully integrated, and been an influential part of Irish culture and they still face problems. I dunno, I find it both strange and interesting.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    I use the Boards RSS reader so I click on a link I like the sound of. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it fails!

    Usually, by the time I get round to reading threads, I don't know what forum it is.

    Why do I read or post on LL?

    I like getting a female opinion on certain topics, even if I don't agree with it. Often I will not post in a thread but after reading it think, ah, I see why somebody said that! Doesn't mean I agree!

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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