Womens issues

Orla K

Lately I've been thinking about things other people do or say to me just because I'm female and i started wondering if other women have things that happen to them that only happen because they are women.

For me, I'm part of a club and there is someone in that club that doesn't think much of women on a professional or many other levels, he often ignores comments made by the women of the group(most of which have stopped or eased of going, reasons I don't know). He's often condecending to me and has said something along the lines of that I think I know everything because I went to college not to my face(that one might be explainable, in the sense that I annoyed him one night) I just have to say in his defence that he's normally nice, it's just in the club environment he's like this.

Another part of it is family, well they are presuming that I will have and want a family. I'm sure that can go for guys as well but there's a bit of a difference between my brothers and me. It matters more that I find a guy 'who can look after me' than my brothers find someone because they will be able to look after themselves. When they say about looking after me they mean a guy with a good job so that when(not if) we get married I'll get to stay at home, cook, clean and mind the children.* Another thing they do is, think that women have to look good whenever they're seen but it doesn't really matter for a guy(don't know who that one is worse for)

I just let these things slide off me, not much else I can do. It doesn't take away the fact that they are there, I will complain about them when it get's too much, to make me feel better.

So does anyone else find that some people treat them differently or act differently because they are women?



*I've almost got those ideas dispelled from their heads, but, I'll hate it when I go out with someone because it'll be back to square one. Oddly enough it's the oldest member of the family that wants me to be independent with a place of my own and a job.

L.Jenkins

It's a male dominence issue! Many men find it hard to submit to the idea of women as an authoritive figure or may feel threatened and underminded by any express opinion of a woman!

shellyboo

I think the way those people are treating you has everything to do with their attitude and not very much to do with your gender. They seem to be very much attached to the traditional, the way things are "supposed" to be.

I'd imagine the same people are also sexist towards the men in the club/your family - not ok with them showing weakness/expressing emotion; expecting them to act, look, think a certain way, settle down and have kids.

Tbh just sounds like they're backwards. Sure I've met people like that in my life, but luckily I'm not surrounded by them! Most people I know have a more modern, less sexist, way of looking at things.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

if you let their jackass opinions affect what you do in the workplace or your personal life you're only feeding their idiocy. They're morons, treat them as such if you want to maintain a decent level of self respect.

Boston

Seems yer mans problem is with you being educated rather then with you being female?

Orla K

shellyboo wrote: »

I think the way those people are treating you has everything to do with their attitude and not very much to do with your gender. They seem to be very much attached to the traditional, the way things are "supposed" to be.

I'd imagine the same people are also sexist towards the men in the club/your family - not ok with them showing weakness/expressing emotion; expecting them to act, look, think a certain way, settle down and have kids.

Tbh just sounds like they're backwards. Sure I've met people like that in my life, but luckily I'm not surrounded by them! Most people I know have a more modern, less sexist, way of looking at things.

It's their attitude coupled with my gender, if my gender was different they would treat me differently. I was just wondering if anyone did or didn't have people who treated them differently because of their gender. (an irrational difference not a rational one too)

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

if you let their jackass opinions affect what you do in the workplace or your personal life you're only feeding their idiocy. They're morons, treat them as such if you want to maintain a decent level of self respect.

I wouldn't call them morons, I just call them people I put up with, there is no getting away from them and I don't need to treat them as morons, nor do I want to.

Boston wrote: »

Seems yer mans problem is with you being educated rather then with you being female?

I'm not really looking for views on this guy or how family treat me but it is because I'm female, he does similar with other members, I'm just the only one of the women that recently went to college(most are older) he has no problems with any guy being educated (inclueding his two sons, one of who was nearly turning into him but I kicked that out of him when he was 17/18:p)


So again I was just wondering if anyone got any irrational treatment or anything that was because of their gender.

dearg lady

Yeah, OP this definitely still happens with some people.
I think it's natural for people to treat men and women slightly diffeerently(cos we are a bit different ) The real issue arises not when an individual is being treated differently because of their sex, but when they are treated in a worse way than the opposite sex.

For example, you're families concerns for you are old fashioned certainly but probably not a big deal to you. However if it got to the point that they ended up disowning you because of your choice of partner, that would be a seriously negative reaction, based on your sex.

The guy in the club does sound like a bit of a pain, how does he talk to the guys in the club?

Wibbs

I'll be honest here. I have and sometimes still do it. Mostly in little ways. In the sense that I'll let some things go whether its a man or a woman doing or saying it. Obviously I would if it's a gender specific thing where my or another mans take as a man is going to be less valid than a woman's. Major extreme example, period pain say.

I've done it in other ways too and have had to catch myself. EG I'll give a woman way more leeway if she gets emotional over something I would find superficial, than I would a man. If I dont think about it, I'll tend to look down on a man for it.

Work/biz wise I dont though. Though I prefer dealing with women in biz TBH. I find them less waffly and competitive for no good reason than men. I also find them better at being friendly and efficient at the same time. Obviously both as generalisations. So there I do a little even if its in reverse.

Boston

The expectation to lift heavy things is annoying. Sometimes I just don't feel like it.

Orla K

Boston wrote: »

The expectation to lift heavy things is annoying. Sometimes I just don't feel like it.

The expectation that I can't/won't is annoying. I like lifting heavy things:o

shellyboo

Orla K wrote: »

It's their attitude coupled with my gender, if my gender was different they would treat me differently. I was just wondering if anyone did or didn't have people who treated them differently because of their gender. (an irrational difference not a rational one too)

Yeah, differently... not necessarily *better*. If you were male, the same people would still be trying to put you in a box, just a different box. It's up to you whether or not you let them.

chocgirl

I'd agree that people will treat you how you let them treat you.

I do notice that at work I can be treated differently than male counterparts, I like to attribute this to my age rather than my gender though but I do wonder sometimes.

Stella777

Yes, I had an experience with this very recently. My older son is on a sports team. Each family is supposed to have one parent volunteer. It's usually the dads who do it, but as my husband has quite a bit of work travel coming up this Spring, I decided I should do it.

So I went to turn in the form on which I circled my choices for volunteer jobs. The guy told me, "Oh, don't worry, we already put you on the snack bar." The snack bar is where they sell drinks and food during the game.

Basically he assumed that I would have no interest or skills for the more Important Men's Work of coaching, and decided without my input that I'd be better suited for something related to food...(which is, of course, Women's Work :rolleyes:)

Oh well, at least I won't be anywhere near the silly politics that surround the coaching and I can have all the free popcorn I want...

shellykbookey

I used to think it was funny when I was buying boots and things for work and the guys in the hardware store would be like "is it for your boyfriend?", "eh, no its for me", cue supicious look from guy at the counter. Or going home from work and getting confused looks from builders cos I'm wearing a visvest
I think the whole treating men and women different has some basis i.e. how capable you are of doing a job. I work in archaeology which is 9/10ths manual labour and I've no problem with that but some of the things you've to do require a lot of physical strenght. I've worked with some very small girls who get thick if they're not given a certain feature or move out of it when it gets too deep. There's no point going on about equality if you cant do what your asked. However I was on one site where the boss (a woman) wouldnt let the girls on the crew do anything other than small features which was stupid as there was more girld than guys and we were under time pressure. She left one very skinny guy in a ditch on his own. It was over 1.5m deep and he had to mattock, shovel and take the wheelbarrows all by himself it was just stupid. I'd hate to be a guy though and have to navagate the whole etiquette thing, the bf was goin through a door a while back and this woman bulls through from the other side so he held the door open and she nearly took the head off him saying she could open the door herself but I know other girls who expect fells to open doors for them. You can win