Random Drunken Things That You've Done

Bonito

Co45 wrote: »

There is not a chance you got away with a 1000 fine for stealing a gardai patrol car, drink driving and reckless driving, obstruction of gardai during their duty
Complete horse ****.

She was a minor at the time.

From the county where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from Carrick-on-Suir Ireland.

Recently a routine Garda patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening
the Garda noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the Garda quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.

He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on,
then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more
vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.

The Garda, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights,
promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the Garda said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

Alicat

Told my boyfriend's mother I had no use for dildos

MJ23

woke up in the morning with chicken curry all over the bed and floor,
woke up in all my clothes, with shoes on too,
pissed in the wardrobe,
fell up the stairs,
got sick in the bed,
woke up with telly on and blue movie in dvd player. (not advised)
got black eye by walking in to a door,
went in to chipper, ordered burger, and discovered i hadnt any money
got 2 taco fries in abras, ate the 2 of them, worst heartburn ever for 3 days
got caught by the cops pissing at a school entrance, didnt get booked
lay down in the middle of a roundabout singing dirty aul town

cant think of any more.

Pompey Magnus

irishhigh wrote: »

When I lived in the country, when the gardi came to get everyone to get off home and out of the night club carpark I took off around the carpark (not on the main road) in the garda car that they left running with the door open. A night in the cells, a court case and a €1,000 fine and name in the local paper! Class

Please tell me that you put on the siren, that would have been the cherry on the cake .

irishhigh

Last year I went out after work at about 5pm and was hammered at about 11pm (I had not eaten all day)! anyway decided that when I went home I wanted a Dominos pizza, I had the number saved to my phone so I went to D and pressed Dominos and rambled on as drunk as anything trying to make and order. I started getting really annoyed and was swearing and blinding when my order wasn't being taken..........It was my Dad I phoned and not Dominos:o

irishhigh

Charco wrote: »

Please tell me that you put on the siren, that would have been the cherry on the cake .

No I was too pissed!:(

Pompey Magnus

irishhigh wrote: »

No I was too pissed!:(

Aww, you missed a trick there. That would have been so cool. That said I wouldn't have a clue where to find the siren myself even when sober.

Andrew33

A friend of mine got up in the middle of the night after being on the beer, walked to the wardrobe, opened the doors and pissed all over his wifes clothes, he thought he was in the jax, he did the same when he lived at home too, sleepwalked all the way down stairs and pissed on the vcr:D

My missus woke up one night to find me standing with me lad out just about to piss into her knicker drawer. Ah memories!

That_Guy

Well last night I was out in Drogheda and I was rather drunk and I don't know why I did it but I went up to a load of girls and just screamed in their faces shouting, "MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY"

I feel like a dickhead now for doing it.

irishhigh

That_Guy wrote: »

Well last night I was out in Drogheda and I was rather drunk and I don't know why I did it but I went up to a load of girls and just screamed in their faces shouting, "MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY"

I feel like a dickhead now for doing it.

Don't feel bad, I'd say up there they are use to it

Bonito

That_Guy wrote: »

Well last night I was out in Drogheda and I was rather drunk and I don't know why I did it but I went up to a load of girls and just screamed in their faces shouting, "MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY"

I feel like a dickhead now for doing it.

So long as it wasn't the girls associated with the hardy boys in the RFC you're fine :pac:

/Just don't show your face 'round there again

JohnCleary

Charco wrote: »

Aww, you missed a trick there. That would have been so cool. That said I wouldn't have a clue where to find the siren myself even when sober.

You press the siren button on the dash and then toot the horn to activate the siren

irishhigh

JohnCleary wrote: »

You press the siren button on the dash and then toot the horn to activate the siren

Bit late now sgt. John Cleary but cheers for letting me know where it is. BTW the seats where really comfortable and the steering wheel was huge:)

Kasabian

JohnCleary wrote: »

You press the siren button on the dash and then toot the horn to activate the siren

Did they teach you that in Templemore?

irishhigh

JohnCleary wrote: »

You press the siren button on the dash and then toot the horn to activate the siren

OK a Garda friend just told me that the siren is located in the roof of the cabin...Where the sunroof should be but he said that this in the older models! The one I would have been joyriding in:o! God had I known that at the time!!!!

we'llallhavetea_old

one night after the niteclub me and my then boyfriend started pressing the button for the green man and walking over and back the road
we had quite a few followers in the end, and were brought cups of tea from the local taxi rank, to keep us goin like.
guards came and took the boyfriend into the squad car in the end, leathered him and brought him home. bit odd.

flowersagogo

are you sure they were real garda?

That_Guy

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

one night after the niteclub me and my then boyfriend started pressing the button for the green man and walking over and back the road
we had quite a few followers in the end, and were brought cups of tea from the local taxi rank, to keep us goin like.
guards came and took the boyfriend into the squad car in the end, leathered him and brought him home. bit odd.

What? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

we'llallhavetea_old

That_Guy wrote: »

What? :eek::eek::eek::eek:

yeah, wierd?!

Bonito

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

yeah, wierd?!

Well, TBH, with it being you, I'm not surprised :pac:

Scarydoll

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

one night after the niteclub me and my then boyfriend started pressing the button for the green man and walking over and back the road
we had quite a few followers in the end, and were brought cups of tea from the local taxi rank, to keep us goin like.
guards came and took the boyfriend into the squad car in the end, leathered him and brought him home. bit odd.

:eek:

we'llallhavetea_old

Bonito wrote: »

Well, TBH, with it being you, I'm not surprised :pac:

cheek!

another night on the way home from the niteclub myself and a friend spent a half an hour looking for somethin in the grass behind the local tennis club. we were tearin up the grass thinking there was something buried there.

needless to say we had been misinformed

we'llallhavetea_old

scareydoll wrote: »

:eek:

maybe leathered was a bit harsh, gave him a good few digs though!

n0brain3r

It's a long time ago now but after a nightout in college myself and a mate put our house mates bed and locker complete with clothes on the back of an artic parked at the end of our road and arranged them as normal. We headed off to bed thinking the house mate would arrive home wake us and we'd go and get them. He didn't get back till the following afternoon and when he woke us enquiring where his bed might be the truck had left with no sign of the bed, locker or clothes! We played completely dumb and blamed it on another student house further down the road(There was a bit of history!) I can only assume its in a ditch somewhere out the kilkenny road from carlow. Took some explaining to the landlord though how an entire bedroom suite disappeared!

Misty Chaos

I can remember getting ridiculously drunk in London when I was there with college a few years ago after I got back from the hostel ( not before getting hysterical in the night club, mind you ) I hid under the bed for some god forsaken reason, I think I thought the NWO or whatever was going to get me or something!

I also told another girl in my class ( that I also happened to like ) when she asked me how I was feeling when she came back to ' FCUK OFF! ' loudly. I was really, really out of it and wasn't thinking straight at all.

Then again, I wasn't the only one who got completely messed up that night, the hostel staff ended up calling the cops on us and we nearly got thrown out!

We left quickly and quietly the next morning.

Gillington

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

one night after the niteclub me and my then boyfriend started pressing the button for the green man and walking over and back the road
we had quite a few followers in the end, and were brought cups of tea from the local taxi rank, to keep us goin like.
guards came and took the boyfriend into the squad car in the end, leathered him and brought him home. bit odd.

Is that how ya chose your username!?

Jesus Juice

The other night at a house party I was hungry so I decided to make toast...only I couldnt find a toaster so I put about 10 slices of bread on top of the Aga stove thing...my friend said theres still bread stuck to the top:o

After they wouldnt toast I went around the house eating the bread and throwing randon bits of it around shouting ''ITS FOR THE BIRDS''.

Then a girl fell in the hall, I laughed my head off and her lover (who was a girl) start shouting at me.

So I went to bed.

nicegirl

Danced on a table in a niteclub, and tried to tickle a mime artist who was "Still" on Grafton Street.....he didn't budge though

bungaro79

i remember coming home after a night out and throwing on some food in the microwave, while drunkenly waiting for the food to cook i did a slow motion karate kick followed by 2 punches and held this last punch for about 5 seconds. then i just went back to waiting for my food. seemed to make sense at the time

jd007

Fell asleep on the toilet of a nightclub for about 2 hours. Needless to say I had a sore head the next day.