Worst excuse given for calling in sick

TestTransmission

irishhigh wrote: »

Do you think that if you where part of the production team on the Jermey Kyle show and you rang in sick with some lame excuse that he would call you back with "Those all important lie detector tests"?

I think you're a crazy woman.

irishhigh

Mr_Vestek wrote: »

This paper isn't English then is it?

God No more social studies! I swear when I was in first year in ucd I lived on campus and that row was going on outside my apartment...."No way is Vodkla redbull better than smirnoff mule! it just can't happen!" ( in a very strong cavan accent

Sharpshooter

irishhigh wrote: »

I've had a few to drink now and when I drink I get the strangest ideas...This week I'm going to set the questions for the leaving cert as I am the starter of this thread and currently unemployed because of the hse I don't need an excuse for tomorrow I can go off the subject for just a minute.... With me so far?

Question 1 on the leaving cert 2010......
Vodkla redbull is better than Smirnoff Mule, Discuse?

littlefriend wrote: »

You are nuts!

irishhigh wrote: »

They need to know these things for university:P BTW it was a joke

irishhigh wrote: »

Hey whats oz like? many jobs going

Bob Z wrote: »

And did Smelly come in?

Mr_Vestek wrote: »

This paper isn't English then is it?

Keep on topic please.

MrVestek

Fine then.

My worse excuse for calling in sick was because of irishhigh's ramblings on about ****e that had nothing to do with the current conversation I was involved in.

Got fired.

Satisfied mod? :P

irishhigh

oops sorry. ok guys back to the subject or do you all have enough excuses to see to through tomorrow?

Sharpshooter

Mr_Vestek wrote: »

Fine then.

My worse excuse for calling in sick was because of irishhigh's ramblings on about ****e that had nothing to do with the current conversation I was involved in.

Got fired.

Satisfied mod? :P

I'm always a satisfied mod, which is why I never call in sick.;):p

MrVestek

Sharpshooter wrote: »

I'm always a satisfied mod, which is why I never call in sick.;):p

You're not one of the paid mods so what does it matter? :P

irishhigh

Mr_Vestek wrote: »

You're not one of the paid mods so what does it matter? :P

? do people just do it for free?

Sharpshooter

Mr_Vestek wrote: »

You're not one of the paid mods so what does it matter? :P

There are no paid mods.

Back on topic please.:pac:

irishhigh

Sharpshooter wrote: »

There are no paid mods.

Back on topic please.:pac:

Sorry for going off the subject. The prize for best story in this thread has to go to the guy who said a girl called into work saying she had a floating womb! do you have a good one to share???

filthymcnasty

OP sounds like u need an excuse for tomorrow, no harm- just get in there and wing it

irishhigh

filthymcnasty wrote: »

OP sounds like u need an excuse for tomorrow, no harm- just get in there and wing it

OP is currently an unemployed nurse

flowersagogo

hello,is that boards ie? cant post anymore cos i've got to go to work tomorrow...

irishhigh

flowersagogo wrote: »

hello,is that boards ie? cant post anymore cos i've got to go to work tomorrow...

Lucky you. good night:)

marko91

irishhigh wrote: »

The most stupid lie for not going to an exam in my first year in UCD was " Sorry I couldn't go in....Em...I had a "touch" of em... meningitis!!!! I don't know why I said that!!! The words just fell out my mouth.... I was caught!

caught rapid!!

irishhigh

marko91 wrote: »

caught rapid!!

Ya think? I was slaughtered for it:(

Sharpshooter

irishhigh wrote: »

The most stupid lie for not going to an exam in my first year in UCD was " Sorry I couldn't go in....Em...I had a "touch" of em... meningitis!!!! I don't know why I said that!!! The words just fell out my mouth.... I was caught!

And they spotted it straight away?

irishhigh

Sharpshooter wrote: »

And they spotted it straight away?

Nobody in the history of the world has ever had a "Touch" of it and Pissing the night away later that night when the lie was told in the ucd sports bar kinda gave it away. If I had it I (A) wouldn't be able to phone anyone let alone speak and (B) I'd be in isolation in hospital

filthymcnasty

irishhigh wrote: »

OP is currently an unemployed nurse

then get your lazy unemployed ass over to oz ...only joking, but crying out for nurses there i believe, i'm sure u know it... what about the midwifery course.

on topic my fake excuses over the years have always been lame enough .. flu etc.. but the amount of co -workers i worked with over de years who don't call in used to amaze me.. would just turn up again after been absent and see what happens.. wouldn't get away with it now i tells ya

irishhigh

filthymcnasty wrote: »

then get your lazy unemployed ass over to oz ...only joking, but crying out for nurses there i believe, i'm sure u know it... what about the midwifery course.

on topic my fake excuses over the years have always been lame enough .. flu etc.. but the amount of co -workers i worked with over de years who don't call in used to amaze me.. would just turn up again after been absent and see what happens.. wouldn't get away with it now i tells ya

I don't know what to do! don't have enough cash to go to oz and I know noboby there and hate the whole midwife crap.....Something is bound to come up

thecornflake

phlegms wrote: »

Erectile dysfunction.

so you couldn't get up for work huh ?

Sharpshooter

irishhigh wrote: »

Nobody in the history of the world has ever had a "Touch" of it and Pissing the night away later that night when the lie was told in the ucd sports bar kinda gave it away. If I had it I (A) wouldn't be able to phone anyone let alone speak and (B) I'd be in isolation in hospital

Spotted it straight away, as in Meningitis.:p

irishhigh

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Spotted it straight away, as in Meningitis.:p

I didn't have it I was being an idot, was so hung over I could'nt think of anything else to say.I was Bucked with the exam that was due and I had to think of something fast

irishhigh

thecornflake wrote: »

so you couldn't get up for work huh ?

SPA CLAP!!!! duh

Sharpshooter

irishhigh wrote: »

I didn't have it I was being an idot.

I hate when puns are wasted.

Spotted...Meningitis

/never mind

filthymcnasty

whenever someone would mention a death in the family for absences this 'excuse' was untouchable..

and rightly so, but i'm sure this excuse has been abused.

Jev/N

dannym08 wrote: »

Manager: "oh, I'm sorry to hear that Y, its strange that your not feeling well, in the photos from last night you fine"

... you so fine you blow my mind :pac:

irishhigh

Sure last year while still working, just got off a flight from dublin airport and was in a mad dash to work in the Rotunda.... The queue for the taxi was around the block at arrivals and I was in a panic.

I ran up to departures and jumped into a taxi (they are not mean't to pick up there). I told the taxi driver I needed to get to the Rotunda fast as I was in pain. Got there on time.

I know that was bad but believe me if you had the clinical nurse manager I had there, you would have sold your granny to be there on time, she was a dragon:o

marko91

M&S* wrote: »

Squaids... (Squirrel aids)

squaids is so fake and gay!

irishhigh

Sharpshooter wrote: »

I hate when puns are wasted.

Spotted...Meningitis

/never mind

Sorry Its late...and I've had a few whiskeys....Its March now and still bloodl snowing:(

irishhigh

Another excuse i used two years ago was that one of my breast implants had moved and was really painful. got 3 days from that one:P

m@cc@

Sharpshooter wrote: »

I hate when puns are wasted.

I hope your not planning to do anything rash.

congo_90

Al qaeda blew up my car/ cat/ cow.

Best was the use of a long term illness as it was legit but if on some days I was too 'weak' to be in a warehouse then I got the day off.

crushproof

Ohhh the worst excuse eh?

I was living with a Chinese guy a couple of years, really shy and what not.
We finally managed to get him locked one night and he was a right state.
Next morning I was lying in bed when i heard him ring into work...

"Hi Sharon, oh my god....I die of awful headache, I drink with my friends last night and we get so drunk, I cannot come in because I am so tired"

I immediately jumped outta bed into the kitchen and tried to tell him to shut up!! Didn't work at all and he hung up and said the boss told him to back to bed and come into work later. I was covinced he was gonna get in crap with the boss!

He went into work anyway, apparently the boss was in stiches...first time anyone had been totally honest pulling a hungover sicky! Bloody hilarious, I couldn't believe it!

lorebringer

The most original one I have used (and it was true) was that I had to get my dogs stomach pumped - ate CPU coolant, due to the OH leaving it on the floor, and needed to get it out of him asap. I went in on the way to the vet and told my supervisor to his face while the dog was waiting out in the car. I don't think my supervisor knew what to say so he let me take the day off.

Needless to say my OH got a serious bollocking even though I got the whole day off.

Blitzkrieger

filthymcnasty wrote: »

be honest folks 90% of all irish sick days are alcohol or hangover related.
(except maternity)

ask yourself over the years when u rang in sick was booze /hangover involved or was it a genuine affliction.

It's amazing how that's still a common perception. I've never seen it happen - generally people plan ahead for a session and take the day after off.

Personally, I've never called in sick. I do shift work and we don't get paid for the first 16 hours, so we always go in even if we are sick. Twice in the last year I was so sick enough to say fe*k the pay and stay at home.....but it was a day off anyway

Mr Freeze

I can't remember where I read this, It could have been an email or possibly a thread on here a few years ago.

Anyways, someone was giving out about a work mate who was always missing days, he hadn't worked a full week in months, and had all kinds of stupid excuses, the only one I can remember was "I wont be in today because I bought a new pair of shoes yesterday and I need to go for a long walk to break them in"

Chairman Meow

When i worked in tesco (thankfully quite some time ago now) a girl called in sick in hysterics one day, her excuse was "Bryan just left Westlife!! WAAAAAAAAAA"

Hagar

I have a serious case of Anal Myopia, I can't see myself getting my arse into work today.

Lemegeton

i rang in sick sometime last year cos i was in a foul humour. but i forgot to fill out an absence form when i went back and 2 weeks later HR asked for the form to be filled out and when i went to fill out "Reason for Absence" i could not remember what i had said on the phone when i called in sick.
ooops

dave 27

say you got a ring from the guards about a statement you gave a few months back about a missing bike and u have to go in and identify it along with some very long and boring questions!

irishhigh

Lemegeton wrote: »

i rang in sick sometime last year cos i was in a foul humour. but i forgot to fill out an absence form when i went back and 2 weeks later HR asked for the form to be filled out and when i went to fill out "Reason for Absence" i could not remember what i had said on the phone when i called in sick.
ooops

You lemon!

Elliemental

seanybiker wrote: »

I suppose the worse would be ringing saying you are fine and dont want to go in.

I worked on my old company's sick line, and someone actually did do this.

Another employee's grandfather had died, for the third time.

Noopti

Elliemental wrote: »

I worked on my old company's sick line, and someone actually did do this.

Another employee's grandfather had died, for the third time.

Company sick line? Is that like the bat phone or something?

shqipshume

Cant dry my clothes

Greyfox

My Mum had to take the horse to France and I needed to be their to let the people in with the new fridge

evil_seed

69 wrote: »

I have a serious case of Anal Myopia, I can't see myself getting my arse into work today.

that sounds similar to anal glaucoma

IvyTheTerrible

no_account wrote: »

It's amazing how that's still a common perception. I've never seen it happen - generally people plan ahead for a session and take the day after off.

Personally, I've never called in sick. I do shift work and we don't get paid for the first 16 hours, so we always go in even if we are sick. Twice in the last year I was so sick enough to say fe*k the pay and stay at home.....but it was a day off anyway

I've seen it a lot. I worked in an office, where in a three month period, out of 40 or so staff, only two had not taken any sick days. Of all the "sick" days, 95% were taken on Mondays or Fridays.

Bob Z

dunno how true this is but i know someone who knew someone who phoned into work sick one day His boss asked "how sick are you?" he replied:"very i'm in bed with my sister"

Savage Tyrant

Bob Z wrote: »

dunno how true this is but i know someone who knew someone who phoned into work sick one day His boss asked "how sick are you?" he replied:"very i'm in bed with my sister"

That's a joke....and a very old one at that. Still funny though.