Irish Essay Opening

Rossie17

Ok I have an essay on muinín agus polataíocht tomorrow and I have quite a good amount to write about from other essays I learned, Im just wondering if this opening paragraph has any mistakes, or where i can leave something out/put something small in. Im sure some of you can help me:


An bhfuil aon muinín ag baint le polaiteoirí na tíre seo? Is ceist maith é sin. Deir daoine áirithe go bhfuil, agus nach raibh an cúlú eacnamaíochta seo ach eachtra dosheachanta. De réir sin, an bhfuil aon comhartha eile, seachas an cúlú eacnamaíochta, le feiceáil sa sochaí go bhfuil an rialtas seo ag deanamh drochoibre? Cinnte go bhfuil. Níl an rialtas ag dul i ngleic le fadhbanna móra na gluaine seo, cosúil leis an timpeallacht and fadhb na ndrugaí. Is léir don dall go bhfuil an iomarca tionchar ag na meáin chumarsáide ar polaiteoirí sa lá atá inniú ann freisin.


As you can see my essay will comprise the environment, drugs and the media but Ill try to stay o the topic of its link to politics, but anyway many thanks in advance!

MavisDavis

I think it should be "Deireann daoine áirithe go bhfuil agus níl an cúlú.."
Deir is past tense, it doesn't really fit.
You could say "it is said" instead of "certain people say". Just for variety. That'd be "deirtear nach bhfuil i gceist sa chúlú seo ach eachtra dosheachanta."
Just a suggestion.

boardfan23

Rossie17 wrote: »

Ok I have an essay on muinín agus polataíocht tomorrow and I have quite a good amount to write about from other essays I learned, Im just wondering if this opening paragraph has any mistakes, or where i can leave something out/put something small in. Im sure some of you can help me:


An bhfuil aon muinín ag baint le polaiteoirí na tíre seo? Is ceist maith é sin. Deir daoine áirithe go bhfuil, agus nach raibh an cúlú eacnamaíochta seo ach eachtra dosheachanta. De réir sin, an bhfuil aon comhartha eile, seachas an cúlú eacnamaíochta, le feiceáil sa sochaí go bhfuil an rialtas seo ag deanamh drochoibre? Cinnte go bhfuil. Níl an rialtas ag dul i ngleic le fadhbanna móra na gluaine seo, cosúil leis an timpeallacht and fadhb na ndrugaí. Is léir don dall go bhfuil an iomarca tionchar ag na meáin chumarsáide ar polaiteoirí sa lá atá inniú ann freisin.


As you can see my essay will comprise the environment, drugs and the media but Ill try to stay o the topic of its link to politics, but anyway many thanks in advance!

Ok, obviously the exam is over at this point, but I'll give you some pointers for the real exam in June! Firstly, your grammar needs work. You need to look up the section in your Irish book that tells you how to use a séimhiú. The rules for it are so easy and it makes your Irish read so much better, so there's absolutely no excuse for not learning them. Also look up genders of nouns. And the tuiseal ginideach. Yes, they will take work, but it will be the difference between a B and an A. It looks to me like you've just learnt this off. Parts come across as stilted because you're using big words and phrases but the syntax is a bit mixed up and it doesn't read well.
Anyway, here are some grammatical corrections:

An bhfuil aon mhuinín ag baint le polaiteoirí na tíre seo? Is ceist mhaith í sin. Deir daoine áirithe go bhfuil, agus nach raibh an cúlú eacnamaíochta seo ach eachtra dosheachanta. De réir sin, an bhfuil aon chomhartha eile, seachas an cúlú eacnamaíochta, le feiceáil sa tsochaí go bhfuil an rialtas seo ag déanamh drochoibre? Cinnte go bhfuil. Níl an rialtas ag dul i ngleic le fadhbanna móra na gluaine seo, cosúil leis an timpeallacht agus fadhb na ndrugaí. Is léir don dall go bhfuil an iomarca tionchair ag na meáin cumarsáide ar pholaiteoirí sa lá atá inniú ann freisin.

boardfan23

MavisDavis wrote: »

I think it should be "Deireann daoine áirithe go bhfuil agus níl an cúlú.."
Deir is past tense, it doesn't really fit.
You could say "it is said" instead of "certain people say". Just for variety. That'd be "deirtear nach bhfuil i gceist sa chúlú seo ach eachtra dosheachanta."
Just a suggestion.

No, 'dúirt' is the past tense. Deir is the present tense, you're correct, and it is 'deir daoine'; it's irregular. However, it's nice to throw in the briathar saor, just to show you know how to use it. Another thing to look up!

Rossie17

boardfan23 wrote: »

Ok, obviously the exam is over at this point, but I'll give you some pointers for the real exam in June! Firstly, your grammar needs work. You need to look up the section in your Irish book that tells you how to use a séimhiú. The rules for it are so easy and it makes your Irish read so much better, so there's absolutely no excuse for not learning them. Also look up genders of nouns. And the tuiseal ginideach. Yes, they will take work, but it will be the difference between a B and an A. It looks to me like you've just learnt this off. Parts come across as stilted because you're using big words and phrases but the syntax is a bit mixed up and it doesn't read well.
Anyway, here are some grammatical corrections:

An bhfuil aon mhuinín ag baint le polaiteoirí na tíre seo? Is ceist mhaith í sin. Deir daoine áirithe go bhfuil, agus nach raibh an cúlú eacnamaíochta seo ach eachtra dosheachanta. De réir sin, an bhfuil aon chomhartha eile, seachas an cúlú eacnamaíochta, le feiceáil sa tsochaí go bhfuil an rialtas seo ag déanamh drochoibre? Cinnte go bhfuil. Níl an rialtas ag dul i ngleic le fadhbanna móra na gluaine seo, cosúil leis an timpeallacht agus fadhb na ndrugaí. Is léir don dall go bhfuil an iomarca tionchair ag na meáin cumarsáide ar pholaiteoirí sa lá atá inniú ann freisin.

Thanks very much, ok Ill definately do that. I dont care about the mocks anyway so tips for june are very appreciated!
Oh yeah the "and" thing was just a typo