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Better not to come out?

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  • 07-03-2010 4:17pm
    #1
    Msirishbell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭


    I've been thinking alot lately about whether coming out is a good idea.
    I'm a bi girl. I have come out to some friends but its not widly known.
    Do you think I should only be out if I'm dating a woman? At the end of the day regardless of who I'm dating, I'm still bi.


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    #2
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,189 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Only be out if you want to be. It's really nobody's business but your own.
    When you start dating someone you may want to tell more people, but there is no rule says you ever have to.


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    #3
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    The line between being out and not out will become extremely blurred as time goes on. What generally happens is that some people know, some don't, and it doesn't really matter.


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    #4
    Msirishbell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭Msirishbell


    Thanks for the advice, i think what I'm really wondering about is my family rather than my friends. Should I not tell them unless its 100% necessary. I know it comes down to me in the end but would still value others opinions.


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    #5
    AvaKinder
    Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭AvaKinder


    Hi OP,
    I'm gonna tell you about my experience with family in the hopes it helps, as all my friends and coworkers know.

    For me family wise, I came out to my mother about being bi when I was fourteen. So she knows, as do two of my aunts(one each side of the family), my sisters know and I presume my cousins and uncle do as well through being FB friends and seeing my links etc. I never made it a point to come out to anyone, just let it come up in conversation.

    However one of my aunts is very conservative as are my grandparents. My mother really doesn't want them to know(and maybe doesn't really think I'm bi), so they don't know. It would cause alot of hassle if they did find out. However, if I end up in a serious committed relationship with another girl, I have no intention of keeping it a secret from them. They will know at some point.

    It's up to you whether you want them all to know. For me I weighed up the pro's and con's of telling everyone in the family/telling some and it is easier for everyone that I don't tell the others until it becomes an issue. That being said if you decide to only tell a few, make sure they aren't going to blab to everyone else!


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