Same dream as partner on same night?

Lillylilly

Hi,

Rape is my worst fear and the idea petrifies me. I have had a few rape dreams in the past, and looked into it. Apparently it denotes feeling powerless in a situation. All of the times (bar this one) I've dreamt it, this made sense to me due to what was going on in my life at the time.

Last year, I had a horrible dream where my partner raped me. I woke up feeling wierd, and was so low about it. He was acting strange too, and when I told him I had a bad dream and started telling him about it. It turned out that he had dreamt that he raped me too- the same night!! The situation around the dream was different, but the outcome was the same. This made both of us feel really horrible. We weren't watching anything on tv, or discussing anything related to attacks or anything prior to going to sleep that night (or that week). And we weren't argueing or in a place where either of us felt more powerful/ powerless than the other (as the theme of a rape dream would suggest). And I'm not a vocal/ noisy sleeper (I thought if he heard me speak or be scared, this may impact on his dreaming).

I spoke to a friend about this, and she stated that when she shared a room with her brother as kids, they used to have the same dreams frequently- going on little adventures etc. She reckons this was because they were so close, and when they were asleep their energies were still connected.

Has anyone had any experience on this? Or thoughts??

StormWarrior

I don't mean to freak you out or anything but the first thing that came to my mind was that maybe your partner had sleep-raped you and in your sleep you had tried to fight him off?

Lillylilly

No- that defo didn't happen! I dreamt that he drugged me, whereas his dream was more making me have sex when I didn't want to.

StormWarrior

Yes but what I meant was that maybe as your bodies were going through that, your unconscious minds were affected by what your bodies were doing and each came up with their own dream scenario because of that. It doesn't mean you both had to dream exactly the same thing. Maybe you dreamed that he drugged you because in real life you were sleepy and therefore less resisting than you would have been awake, and your mind translated that into an appropriate dream scenario.

Alternatively, maybe it's a metaphor for an aspect of your relationship. You dream he's drug raping you. Maybe your mind is trying to tell you that he is dominating you or pressuring you in some aspect of your relationship, he's using some kind of strength (maybe mental, hence drugs being used instead of force) to overcome your resistance and make you do something you don't want to. Or maybe it's to symbolise that you need to wake up and realise the pressure he's putting on you. He dreams he's raping you, maybe his unconscious mind is pointing out to him that he is treating you badly and making you do things that you don't want to do. As for you both dreaming this on the same night, maybe something happened between you that day that made you both notice what is going on in your relationship?

Lillylilly

I'm a super light sleeper- I wake when he coughs! There was definitly no hanky panky that night.

And again, just on what was happening at that time in our lives- there defo wasn't anything that made me feel pressured or powerless. I remember going through all this when I had the dream. It just doesn't make sense!

Thanks tho!

iPac

Hi Lillylilly,
Many dreams are caused by the food you eat before going to bed. The food you both ate the night before determined the dream you both had. There are numerous other explanations however, I feel that this one is the most logical in your circumstances.

Another explanation is that you both were sharing similar emotions before sleeping and because both of you live in the same environment you experience many of the same things. This being the case it is natural that you both would share the odd dream.

I am of the opinion that our dreams cannot be interpreted by others. The meaning of a dream is what you, and you alone, interpret it to mean. Freudians would suggest that rape dreams relate to struggle in our lives, but I don't buy into that. Think about your dream. How did you feel? What did the rape represent to you? How did you feel about your partner? What were you thinking? If you can answer these questions you may realise what the dream means.:p