Is it ok to let 16 year old walk home alone?

LeoB

Shazanne wrote: »

Dont blame the media for everything! Would you rather not know what was going on around you?? The media is just there to keep you informed. They don't, for the most part anyway, make things up to scare people!

On the matter of the 16 year old - I bet she'd love to know her parents have to come onto a forum like this with such a question!! Get real here - they know where they're living, they know the 16 year old involved and they know the world we live in. And, if they dont, then the 16 year old certainly should! Kids must be "street wise" these days - a good education is no good if they cant hold their own in society. Let the girl grow up - she wont thank you otherwise.

Why not blame them, look at the sh*t our newstands are covered in, especially from our tabloid rags. They can and do quite often scaremonger and then hide behind a solicitor.

As for the O.P let the child walk home I dont think its to far in fact maybe a bit of exercise for her. They will as has been stated get a bit street wise and maybe develop their social skills a bit. To many parents are hoovering over the kids and as a result a lot of kids

MoyVilla9

LeoB wrote: »

Why not blame them, look at the sh*t our newstands are covered in, especially from our tabloid rags. They can and do quite often scaremonger and then hide behind a solicitor.

Does anyone actually take the tabloid rags serious? I do hope not

am i bovvered

theg81der wrote: »

Just curious what others think - is it ok to let a 16 year old girl walk home 2 km`s relatively quiet area after school?

I don`t think it is but maybe I`m overly cautious.

If you expect her to be living away in college at 18 then you HAVE to start allowing her to take responsibility for herself now !!

speedscot

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

I was catching a train to the big city at weekends for R&R at 15.

I was babysitting 3 younger siblings (youngest handicapped) from 12.

I flew alone to France to stay with complete strangers at 16.

I left home at 17 and moved 300 miles to a new cty, first job etc.

It doesn't mean to say that I will feel comfortable letting my own daughters do the same things and it wouldn't be natural not to worry about their potential vulnerability but they NEED their independence.

If the OP is very worried I suggest taking some sensible steps - give her a rape alarm for example. Make sure she has a charged mobile phone with credit and an emergency number on speed dial so she can attract help if needed. This is illegal but I used to carry a kitchen fork in my pocket (with a handy excuse ready as to why I had it in case I got rustled by the feds). Perfect for stabbing an attacker in the eye if required (it never was).

Fighting Irish

Pics?

Fighting Irish

speedscot wrote: »

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

great parents you had

GirlOfGlass

Yes, I think you're being REALLY over cautious. If you're worried about her walking home at the age of 16 then what age will you think it's okay for her to walk home on her own? Besides, it's in the day time! Not saying that it's not dangerous in the day time, but just less of a risk than night.

speedscot

Fighting Irish wrote: »

great parents you had

Yeah, that's been said before But things were different back then I suppose (I am rather old).

Fighting Irish

speedscot wrote: »

Yeah, that's been said before But things were different back then I suppose (I am rather old).

I know they were but the second some pedo child killer was known to be around town, then it's a different story

silja

I grew up in a small town, and walked to kindergarten alone, age 5! Well, there were usually other kids around, but nothing organised. Of course, we also spent our Saturdays in the local forests gathering feathers and playing with mud... I am only 36, not that old!

I do think a lot depends on the local area, but at 16, anyone should be able to walk home alone.

desper8hsewife

My intiial reaction to this is yes. i think that once a child is maybe in secondary school they should be walking home from school no problem alone. maybe in high primary school depending on the child and the area.

I presume the area is a safe one. if there is some risk about the area that you have not mentioned then maybe think about it a bit more. but other than that - yes.

lip

Has the world gone mad???I have a 13 year old that cycles to his friends house 2 miles away every Sat and vice versa.Kids need to have some freedom,whats the alternative?18 year olds,who are old enough to drink,drive,vote,still tied to apron strings?I realise parents will be concerned and worry,but seriously,they need to be shown that they're trusted.People have been saying times have changed and are more dangerous.Yes times have changed,but almost every child over 12 has a mobile phone now and is more street smart than I ever was.
I work with special needs children and 1 of our main aims is to teach independence and responsibility.OP,please let your child have some freedom,she may surprise you and show you that she is a very responsible pre adult.

Fighting Irish

MoyVilla9 wrote: »

Does anyone actually take the tabloid rags serious? I do hope not

I'd say more than 60% of the population

If i'm bored on the jacks i'll flick through a mag and just pick out the hottest chick on each page :pac:

Fighting Irish

lip wrote: »

Has the world gone mad???I have a 13 year old that cycles to his friends house 2 miles away every Sat and vice versa.Kids need to have some freedom,whats the alternative?18 year olds,who are old enough to drink,drive,vote,still tied to apron strings?I realise parents will be concerned and worry,but seriously,they need to be shown that they're trusted.People have been saying times have changed and are more dangerous.Yes times have changed,but almost every child over 12 has a mobile phone now and is more street smart than I ever was.
I work with special needs children and 1 of our main aims is to teach independence and responsibility.OP,please let your child have some freedom,she may surprise you and show you that she is a very responsible pre adult.

I agree with you completely, but if your kid ever went missing just don't turn around and be one of those people who'll blame everyone else

Cookie_Monster

The Op question seems ridiculously over protective to me.

I was walking home by myself from school in 2nd class (7 or 8), just less than 800m granted but still. There is no reason not to let a 16 year old walk home by themselves.

event

speedscot wrote: »

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

Denerick

I see everyone is having a good time lamenting the way the country is going in this thread. I'll join the party. For gods sake, let the girl walk home alone! The media overplays this crap because idiots like to pay money for the Sun, the Mirror, the Star, or any of the rest of that filth. The reality is that violent crimes as proportionate to the population has actually decreased in most areas of Britain over the last decade. But this is always overshadowed by the one or two appaling exceptions. Really, what the hell is the world coming to if you won't let a bloody 16 year old walk home alone during the day. Jesus Christ.

EDIT: Ireland is not Britain and I realise that, but its important to have some perspective. The reason why we consider British streets to be knife infested holes of hatred is because the editors of the Sun and ITV news want you to think like that. Cold hard statistics and the 99% of the time in which you don't come across crime doesn't seem to count when some journalistic hack revs up the fear levels for gullible parents.

speedscot

event wrote: »

That did make me chuckle.

On a serious note, however, it was this monster: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Black_(serial_killer)

SugarHigh

If this 9 year old is capable of riding the NY subway then I'm sure your child can handle a 2km walk.
http://www.nysun.com/news/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

MementoMori

Give your child some freedom.

Like others in this thread I assumed it was a 2am in the morning scenario.

Assuming the road is reasonable safe (some country roads are dangerous but at 16 your daughter should be well able to deal with this) she should probably have been walking home for a number of years now.

In less than 2 years your daughter is an adult.

You need to start realising this now.

Shazanne

Fighting Irish wrote: »

I'd say more than 60% of the population

If i'm bored on the jacks i'll flick through a mag and just pick out the hottest chick on each page :pac:

That's 60% of the population well and truly insulted!:D

Hotblack Desiato

lip wrote: »

Has the world gone mad???

Yes

Victor

The biggest risk the child(?) faces on the way home in such circumstances is from her schoolmates.

looksee

Victor wrote: »

The biggest risk the child(?) faces on the way home in such circumstances is from her schoolmates.

Well, hopefully not at 16, though I agree with that for younger children.

To the OP, its difficult to make the break, sometimes circumstances mean that it previously wasn't possible for your child to travel on her own, but the time does come.

If you don't mind I would like to make a couple of suggestions to make it easier for you (! you, not her).

Ask her to promise to ring you if she is going to be late, even if she just wants to call in the library on the way home. This will last maybe 6 months, then you will both be used to the situation.

Remember that this is something that has to be done, don't spend your time worrying about her, and more important, worrying that other people will think you were a bad mother for letting her walk alone.

If she is a bit sheltered maybe calmly discuss commonsense safety: Don't walk along using a mobile or wearing earphones (yes I know, my own daughter wears them anyway) and walk confidently, be aware of what is going on around her. Most important, if she is a bit sheltered, don't make a big deal of the change, treat it as a natural progression, and don't nag her - everyone says, 'mind yourself now', thats an expression of affection, but that's enough

And yes, I was crossing a city on two public buses to school at 11, and my kids walked to school. My eldest did leave kindergarten and walk home at age 4, about 2 miles and across two main roads. An alarm went out from the school and a search party was organised, and she was found about half a mile from home. Now that was a bit too young

LegacyUser

Spent my secondary school years from the age of 13 walking to and from a train station in north country dublin (along a country road), catching trains to and from the school in another town.....I can count on one hand the number of times I had a lift to the school itself in 6 years, and on 2 hands the number of times I got a lift to the station!! And that's not all that long ago. My youngest sister is still in the secondary school, and does the same, as have my other 2 siblings.
So in answer to your question OP....absolutely yes.

Good Lord, the mind boggles. Is that why some of the 18 year olds I meet these days can barely tie their own shoelaces? Myself and my siblings had to walk home if we missed the one bus that went through our village, and one of them would often walk alone (from age 11 or 12) if they stayed after school to do hockey or rugby. This was a very rural area. The idea of a 16 year old not being allowed to walk 2km home from school is absolutely hilarious to me. Heard it all now. I thought my parents were overprotective!

metrovelvet

SugarHigh wrote: »

If this 9 year old is capable of riding the NY subway then I'm sure your child can handle a 2km walk.
http://www.nysun.com/news/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

As a native new yorker, I have to say that woman is DUMB!

Victor

metrovelvet wrote: »

As a native new yorker, I have to say that woman is DUMB!

I think its pushing the envelope (I'd at least make sure the child had a phone and was making a trip that they made before), but we give kids less credit than they are due when it comes to making their way home safely.

zynaps

Wow, I'm surprised at this thread. A 16 year old can legally have sex and move out on their own, but there's debate over whether they can walk on the streets alone?

I used to get the bus to town and walk from Liberty Hall to school in Malborough Street with my 5 year old sister quite often (I was 6-7). Not that I'd suggest that (I don't think I'd let my own daughter do it when she's that age), but limiting free movement at 16 years is very extreme (and if I understand rightly, illegal).

Helicopter parenting is a bad idea - either leading to a child's rebellion at feeling oppressed, or problems later due to them being so sheltered that they're unable to deal with the stresses of the real world when they finally enter it.

lazygal

zynaps wrote: »

Wow, I'm surprised at this thread. A 16 year old can legally have sex and move out on their own, but there's debate over whether they can walk on the streets alone?

I used to get the bus to town and walk from Liberty Hall to school in Malborough Street with my 5 year old sister quite often (I was 6-7). Not that I'd suggest that (I don't think I'd let my own daughter do it when she's that age), but limiting free movement at 16 years is very extreme (and if I understand rightly, illegal).

Helicopter parenting is a bad idea - either leading to a child's rebellion at feeling oppressed, or problems later due to them being so sheltered that they're unable to deal with the stresses of the real world when they finally enter it.

The age of consent is 17 and a child is required to be cared for by the State or parent or guardian until 18.
But I was still walking everywhere alone from the time I went to secondary school (13).