Alan Shearer Small Talk Interview in Guardian

parker kent

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2010/mar/12/alan-shearer-small-talk-interview

Shearer showing his trademark wonderful sense of humour

Fink Goddie

LOL love the questions he asked

Ush1

Typical back slapping limp wristed BBC-esque ad libbing.:)

Fink Goddie

Ush1 wrote: »

Typical back slapping limp wristed BBC-esque ad libbing.:)

awww what a waste, you should have used post 1000 more wisely!

MagicMarker

Quality.

Borat_Sagdiyev

Thats brilliant. He must really be the life and soul of a party - never played with toys ever, refused to sign a female fan's chest, gets irritated easily. Anyone else would have seen that the interviewer was only trying to get a rise out of him.

Aidric

You know when people ask you that question 'who would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?'. Well..

leninbenjamin

I really wish they had done it as a video interview. Hilarious stuff.

Kirnsy

no wonder bellamy sent him that text...imagine how wound up must have gotten if he's losing it because of a few daft questions

A Lionel Ritchie fan? Who'd have thought it. I imagine Simply Red and Phil Collins are also nestled snugly in his record collection.

BaZmO*

Haha. Alan Greene and Novice Pundit.

Tell us this, Alan, who is the football pundit you most admire, apart from yourself? He won't thank for me saying it, but I suppose I'll have to say Alan. He's been there for so many years. He's well respected, and he does talk a lot of sense. Not that I'd tell him that anyway.

Who are you talking about? Alan Green? Alan Hansen.

Oh right. Did he give you any tips when you were a novice pundit? [Miffed again] No, he didn't.

I love the iron elbows bit too. Interviewer having a bit of a dig methinks.

That is accurate. By the way, what superpowers would you like to have? [Impatiently] What do you mean?

The ability to fly? X-ray vision? Elbows of pure iron? I'd probably be invisible, so I could go and listen to some of Fergie's team talks.

MementoMori

My favourite part is the bit at the end where Doyle signed off with "It's been bliss.." I would imagine he couldn't believe he got to ask all those questions.

Some top quality winding up there - the bit about have any current players come up to you to complain about something you've said on MOTD
- number of players Shearer has been critical of on MOTD = 0
- number of players who have compalined about Shearer being critical on MOTD = 0

Also the elbows of pure iron = nice dig

Gets very defensive about how Newcastle are doing in the Championship.

I knew times were tough up north when Alan was a nipper but just one goalpost?

Tell us this, Alan, who is the football pundit you most admire, apart from yourself?

Genius

Shame it wasn't caught on video.

parker kent

MementoMori wrote: »

My favourite part is the bit at the end where Doyle signed off with "It's been bliss.." I would imagine he couldn't believe he got to ask all those questions.

They have one of those interviews every week in the guardian. Small talk is just meant to be a laugh. The questions aren't really much different to what other people are asked, Shearer's stonewalling made it worse (and hilarious!). It is meant to be a light hearted interview and almost everybody (bar Luis Figo) has got in the spirit.

Headshot

bar figo?

Fratton Fred

I heart Alan Shearer.

grenache

ND 1978 wrote: »

A Lionel Ritchie fan? Who'd have thought it. I imagine Simply Red and Phil Collins are also nestled snugly in his record collection.

Whats wrong with Phil Collins?

Fratton Fred

grenache wrote: »

Whats wrong with Phil Collins?

Every footballer loves simply red and Phil Collins. Favourite food - Chinese etc.

parker kent

Headshot wrote: »

bar figo?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/apr/11/smalltalk.sportinterviews

Not as grumpy as Shearer but he doesn't come across like a laugh a minute guy!

Will Greenwoods from a few weeks back is a good example of how to try and not come across like a complete po-faced tool.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2010/jan/22/small-talk-will-greenwood

Edit: I guess it helps that Greenwood probably reads The Guardian so knew it was just for laughs. Shearer doesn't seem like The Guardian reading type and also seemingly doesn't do anything, ever!

missingtime

Steve Bull

If you were holding a dream dinner party whom would you invite? If he was alive, Muhammad Ali [he is, but Small Talk graciously lets this one go]. And maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger.

_blank_

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Every footballer loves simply red and Phil Collins.

Nah, mostly these days they are listening to Dizzee Rascal and stuff like that, init.

grenache

grenache wrote: »

Whats wrong with Phil Collins?

Who said there's anything wrong with him?

He is awesome

kryogen

firstly let me re-iterate my stance of absolute hatred for all things Alan Shearer

God even his name pisses me off

*goes off to read link

kryogen

link taking too long to load up for me for some reason, maybe my computer despises the man too and doesnt wanna see it

happy with my stance

OPENROAD

ND 1978 wrote: »

Who said there's anything wrong with him?

He is awesome

Anyone know what team Phil supports?

IvySlayer

Alan, can you tell us a joke? Yeah, your questions.

Burn..

Vurnon San Benito

What a man, what a man.

tony1kenobi

OPENROAD wrote: »

Anyone know what team Phil supports?

Phil supports a whole bunch of ex wives.He doesn't really have the resources to lend any support to a football team...but if he did....probably West Ham.

Le King

HAHA great winding up interview there.

Neil3030

Figo interview:

Indeed. What would you lock in Room 101?
Tuberculosis, which kills more than 1.5 million people a year even though it can be treated.

Talk about a Ballon d'Buzz Kill.

nullzero

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Every footballer loves simply red and Phil Collins. Favourite food - Chinese etc.

I remember having a Man Utd season review annual from the 1993/94 season, all the players were asked things like their favorite films, TV show's and food. I can vividly remeber nearly all of them answering MOTD and steak and chips to the TV and food questions.

As for Shearer, I've always known he was a joyless wretch, but it's still funny to see it in print. His punditry is dreadful, just agreeing with everyone and saying everyone had a good game.
He should stop creosting his fence long enough to develop a sense of humour.

Kirnsy

Let's start with an easy one. What was your greatest ever performance?
Winning the Ballon d'Or in 2000.

OPENROAD

OPENROAD wrote: »

Anyone know what team Phil supports?

Watford?

Shearer is a miserable mean-spirited old soul, isn't he?